


A Rebellion Reborn

by BatuuPrincess



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Poe Dameron, Canon-Typical Violence, Commander Rey, Damerey Endgame, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Slow Burn, Smut, Stormtrooper Rebellion, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-05-27 04:09:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 114,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15016361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatuuPrincess/pseuds/BatuuPrincess
Summary: Picking up just after Crait: As the Resistance is reborn into a new Rebellion, Poe and Rey find themselves drawn to each other.





	1. Day Zero

It had been a shitty day for Poe Dameron. Well, if he was being honest, it had been a shitty couple of weeks. Gods, had it only been a couple of weeks? Jakku, map to Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren, Star Destroyer, FN-2187, I can fly anything, back to Jakku, return to D’Qar, Takodana, Starkiller, evacuation, Dreadnaught, hyperspace tracking, mutiny, Holdo Manuever, Crait, floating rocks, and now the last of the Resistance on the Millennium Falcon. It felt like _years_ have passed since Leia sent him to get the map from Lor San Tekka, since he watched the old man get cut down by Kylo Ren. He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts that come unbidden, each a slap to the face as sharp as the one Leia administered with his demotion. The Dreadnaught plan. The mutiny. Finn and Rose’s failed mission. The transports exploding one by one, while he watched helplessly, waiting for his turn.

He had learned his lesson. Or he hoped that his actions since they landed on Crait meant that he had learned his lesson.

He looked around the lounge of the Millennium Falcon, eyeing the survivors of the mighty Resistance from his spot on the floor. Well, with the destruction of the Hosnian System, and the New Republic Senate along with it, he supposed that put the First Order firmly in control of the galaxy. That meant they weren’t resisting anymore, they were rebelling. Old habits died hard. He’d have to ask Leia if they were going to officially change the name on the brochures.

Finn stood guard over the bunk that held Rose Tico, Paige’s little sister, who was knocked out during the fight in the skim speeders. Finn hadn’t left her side since she saved him from the battering ram cannon. It was sweet, it really was, but Poe couldn’t help but be a touch jealous. He didn’t think when he sent them off to Canto Bight they’d come back quite so devoted to each other. I mean, he had given Finn his name for Force’s sake. And his favorite jacket. Didn’t that mean anything? Oh well, what could he say. The kid was loyal, first to Rey and now to Rose. He wondered absently what it would take to inspire that kind of devotion for himself.

Finn was talking to Kalonia, who was carefully examining Rose with a mediscanner. He made a mental note that they probably needed to find some place with a decent bacta tank sooner rather than later.

He spied Connix sprawled across the bench, snoring lightly next to a junior officer whose name he either didn’t remember or never knew. He picked out a few other familiar faces around the room, all in various stages of sleep. He knew the General was in one of the bunks, probably sound asleep herself. Hells, even BB-8 sat charging in a corner.

He’d never been more exhausted and further from sleep in his life. He always prided himself on the ability to sleep anywhere: in the cockpit of Black One on a two day flight? No problem. On the floor of a transport? Never slept better. Twenty minutes between missions on the flight deck? No sweat. Yet here he was, up for nearly two days straight (not counting the time he was stunned), not able to close his eyes to save the world. He let his head drop into his hands, feeling the fatigue sink into his bones.

He must have dozed for a minute, because when he heard an odd strangled sound drift down the hall from the cockpit, his head shot up and his heart started racing. He knew that there was probably nothing wrong, but he got off the floor with a groan to investigate anyway.

It was a quick walk down the hall to the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. Kriff, that still made him a little giddy. It didn’t matter why they were crowded into the old freighter or how his own stupid actions had led them here, just that he was actually inside the legendary Millennium Falcon, the ship that took down the second Death Star and made the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs. Ok, so it was definitely dirtier than he imagined as a 10-year-old kid playing space smugglers on Yavin 4, and it couldn’t go very far without a major system crashing in some spectacular fashion, but Rey and Chewbacca were both quite good at keeping the old hunk of junk together and moving them toward their next destination, whatever that may end up being. He wondered if the noises he was hearing were the sound of another system failure when he rounded the corner into the cockpit.

What he found was Rey, Jakku scavenger and last hope of the Resistance (Rebellion), giggling on the floor surrounded by a number of the tiny, fat bird-like creatures that seemed to be infesting the ship. She sat cross legged with two in her lap that she scratched affectionately under their nonexistent chins, while an especially fat one on her shoulder rubbed it’s feathery head against her ear, eliciting another soft giggle. The tiny specimen on her head flapped and squawked at the sound, digging itself further into her chestnut hair.

He stood on the threshold, not wanting to interrupt her quiet moment. From what he heard from Finn and BB-8, the last two weeks hadn’t been kind to her either. Yet, here she was smiling brightly at the birds, a smile that, in his opinion, lit up the whole damn Falcon.

He remembered that first glimpse he got of her when she saved all of their asses on Crait. Sure, he’d seen her in passing on the base before she left to find Skywalker, and he’d heard enough about her from Finn and BB-8 to get a feel for the mysterious young Jedi-scavenger, but nothing could have prepared him for the vision that greeted him on the other side of the rock fall. One minute they stood, hopeless in the dark, the next minute they found themselves blinking in the sun. As they left the cave, Poe noted the rocks floating above their heads in passing, too in awe of the young woman smiling serenely, her eyes closed and hand reaching toward them, to process much else. Finn nudged him with his elbow and said “Told you,” and ran straight into her arms. Poe watched as they hugged and the rocks fell neatly away from the survivors, clearing a path to the Millennium Falcon.

“I hope we didn’t wake you, Commander Dameron.”

She spoke without looking up, jarring him out of his day dream.

***

It had been a shitty day for Rey of Jakku. Well, if she was being honest it had been a shitty couple of weeks. Force, had it really only been less than two standard weeks since she saved BB-8 in from that Teedo and set all of this in motion? And had it really only been less than two standard weeks since she actually learned what a standard week was?

That was a fun conversation, asking Finn what all this “standard” nonsense was. She hated how incredulous he looked when she told him they didn’t use that on Jakku and hated even more how he sat her down and taught her the days of the week like a kriffing toddler, not the ace pilot who saved both of their lives and got them off Jakku. Though in the end, she supposed she was glad it was Finn and not Han or Chewie. At least with Finn, she was on somewhat equal footing. 

She sat up straighter in the pilot’s seat on the Falcon, her ribs protesting thanks to a hit she took in the throne room, and tried to clear her mind of the clutter of the last few weeks. The swirling colors of the stars and planets they passed in hyperspace had a calming effect on her, allowing her to let the past die. _Bad choice of words,_ she thought to herself, willing herself not to think about all the madness with Ben and Kylo and Snoke as she tried to massage the lingering headache from her temples.

She really wished she could go back and do a few things over. Maybe not allow herself to be manipulated by Snoke and Ren. Maybe not get tortured for the second time in a week. Maybe not alienate and attack the man who was supposed to save the Resistance and train her in the process. If she was going to start spending more time around people, she really needed to work on her temper. She couldn’t go around beating people down with her staff when they made her angry here. She was in the Resistance now, not some cantina tent in Niima Outpost. Maybe Luke would still be alive if she hadn’t knocked him on his ass and ran away. Or maybe they’d have still been bickering on that mountainside while the Resistance was wiped out on Crait.

She turned her head when she heard a squawk from the co-pilot’s seat.

The porglets were restless. Chewie had found them while she was on the Supremacy, left in a nest in the cockpit when their mother met an untimely end thanks to a live wire. There were five in total, all currently nested various places in Chewbacca’s fur while he dozed in the co-pilot’s chair. Rey started plucking the noisy porglets out of their makeshift nests, trying not to wake Chewie in the process. She left one that was still sleeping near the wookiee’s heart.

Sitting down cross legged on the floor of the cockpit, she let the small bird-like creatures loose. She giggled as two made their way up her armbands and onto her shoulders, the smaller of the two climbers flapping all the way to the top of her head with a strange burble. The two left on the ground hopped onto her lap, where she started scratching their bellies simultaneously to discourage further exploration.

It was a nice moment during a week where they were few and far between. First Han, and now Luke. It seemed like becoming her mentor, however reluctantly, was turning out to be a very dangerous job. Then there was the Resistance, or what was left of it. Back on Crait, she had felt a sinking in her chest when she realized that no one else was coming out of the tunnel; this was it, the mighty Resistance, the last hope of the galaxy, and everyone left could fit on the Falcon. But they had hope, and the best pilot in the galaxy (if Finn was to be believed), not to mention the last Jedi. And what was Poe always saying? Something about sparks and burning the First Order down?

The little guy on her shoulder brought her out of her reverie when it started rubbing it’s head on her ear, a body part she was finding oddly ticklish. She giggled, which caused a painful twinge in her ribs and made her friend up top squawk. The littlest porglet was enjoying itself on her head, trying to make a nest where her hair was tied back.

She felt him as soon as he rounded the corner, Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance, the one person who knew who she was before they had met, or at least the only one to admit it to her face. His presence in the Force was unique, washing over her in a warm wave as he leaned against the threshold. Rey smiled absently at the warm feeling. She wasn’t sure why he wasn’t announcing himself, but she let him be a moment as she scratched the porglets in her lap just under their mouths to their mutual delight.

She spoke without looking up.

“I hope we didn’t wake you, Commander Dameron.”

At the sound of her voice, he jumped a bit, sending a small wave of panic through the force. _Kriff, Rey_ , she admonished herself, _way to scare the humans._

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t sleeping,” he recovered smoothly, running a hand through his black curls. “And you can just call me Poe. I don’t think I’m actually a commander anymore; I seem to remember being demoted at some point this week,” he finished with a wry smirk.

She looked up at him, blushing slightly at his admission. She had heard snippets of the rumors earlier, while everyone gathered in the main room of the Falcon whispering information and updates back and forth. Dreadnaught. Demotion. Mutiny. That last one was an ugly word for an ugly act, one she couldn’t connect to the handsome, warm man still smiling down at her like she was the answer to all of the galaxy’s questions. It was the same look he gave her a few hours ago when they officially met, BB-8 looking on, though not as intense as whatever crossed his face when she opened up the blocked passage on Crait. 

Her returning smile turned into a wince as the little guy on her head chose that moment to yank on a lock of hair right on the crown of her head.

“Ok, that’s enough,” she said reaching up to extract the porglet from her hair and bringing it down to her lap. It quickly joined the other two porglets trying to burrow under her thighs for warmth.

Poe was watching her with a bemused look on his face. “Ok, so what the heck are these things? I keep seeing the bigger ones in the main hold. I’m pretty sure they’re eating the fuseboxes.” He dropped to his knees to examine the fat one on her shoulder, extending his pointer finger to scratch it’s belly, the porglet cooing adorably.

Rey sighed. They definitely were eating the fuseboxes, she had just been hoping nobody else would notice and make her evict them from the Falcon.

“They’re porgs,” she explained, watching the ridiculous smile play across Poe’s face as the little guy on her shoulder started to sing at him. “They’re native to Ahch-To. Chewie claims we had a few stowaway, but I’m pretty sure he was fully aware they were coming with us.

“He found these little porglets,” she gestured to the animals around her, “in an abandoned nest in one of the missing access panels. They follow him everywhere now, it’s absolutely ridiculous.”

Poe smiled at that mental image, looking over at the sleeping wookiee next to them. He leaned in and whispered, “Is that…” pointing at the porglet still sleeping in Chewbacca’s fur.

“Yup,” she answered as they both quietly laughed. “I’m trying to convince him to name them.”

He was still on his knees in front of her, when he suddenly grabbed her right arm, turning it over to expose the cut just below her shoulder. “Hey, you’re bleeding!”

She looked at the open wound, shrugging, “Yeah, one of Snoke’s guards got me with some sort of vibro-blade.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just blinking at her with his mouth slightly ajar. “Wait a second, so you’re telling me that you not only fought against the Praetorian Guard and won, but that you came away from it with only a cut on your arm?!”

Rey shrugged again. “One landed a pretty good kick to my ribs, too. It hurts a bit when I laugh. Or breathe.”

He shook his head at her, rising from the floor and walking straight out of the cockpit. She silently watched him go and leaned back against bulkhead with a sigh, the cool metal feeling good against her still-aching head, while she tried to figure out what she could have possibly done to make him leave so abruptly.

She wasn’t alone with her thoughts for a minute before she heard him stomping back down the hall, letting his warmth in the Force wash over her again.

He didn’t hesitate this time, walking straight into the cockpit, medkit in hand, and over to where she was leaning against the wall. He dropped unceremoniously to the floor, plucked the fat little porg off her shoulder, and began to clean the wound with something that stung horribly.

Rey hissed quietly through her teeth, causing Poe to freeze momentarily.

“Sorry, I should have warned you, this stings a bit”

“I’m fine, really,” she said as Poe continued to sterilize the cut. “It barely hurts at all. We should save the bacta for someone who needs it.”

If she was being honest, she hadn’t touched the cut because she trying not to think about the circumstances in which she got it.

“Well, let’s cover it just to be safe,” he said, pulling out a small bacta patch from the kit. “You have no clue where these guys have been,” he gestured vaguely to the porglets surrounding them, “and they seem to be all over you.”

He looked at her briefly, motioning to his left eyebrow. “You want me to clean that for you?”

Her hand went to her own left eye, probing the sensitive spot. Her fingers came away clean.

“Nah, that’s just a scrape”

He nodded and put his head down, intent on putting the bacta on to the bandage. She’d never been this close to him before, so she took the opportunity to really look at him.

She had of course noticed the curls, jet black from afar, but this close, she saw that they were shot with silver here and there, showing either his age or his current stress level. His normally smooth forehead was crunched in concentration as he lined up the patch to cover her wound.

She couldn’t suppress the shiver when the bacta hit her skin.

He paused, a question in those kind, dark eyes. She noted the purplish bruises on the thin skin directly below his lower lashes.

“Cold,” she said.

He smiled at her sheepishly, dropping his head back down. “Sorry.”

 _When was the last time he slept, s_ he wondered as he used his fingertips to seal the edges of the patch to her skin, callouses snagging on the fabric. She could feel the heat of his fingers through the patch, leaving her face warm. His cheeks were dotted with at least a day’s worth of stubble, all the way to the strong, square jaw line. His nose, while large, somehow worked with the rest of his face to make what Rey decided was an objectively handsome man.

“All done,” he declared, as he checked his handiwork and closed up the medkit.

“Thank you,” she said, finally looking down.

***

It wasn’t lost on Poe that she been staring at him the entire time he worked on her arm. Her gaze was curiously intense and completely guileless; she either didn’t know enough to be embarrassed or didn’t care. Either way, it was almost too endearing, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t spend a little extra time making sure every edge was sealed tight, just so his hand could linger on her arm an extra moment or two. 

He noticed that there was a feather in her hair at approximately the same time he realized his hand was already halfway across the distance between them with the intent to pluck it out.

“You’re hair is a literal nest right now,” he said with a smile, removing the feather and watching it float to the durasteel floor.

She laughed, removing the ties in her hair, running her hands through the loose strands and shaking her head to make sure she got it all. The effect was somehow even messier than before. _Sex hair_ , his mind supplied. He quickly tamped down the thought.

“And it looks like you have company,” she said pointing to his pants.

His eyes shot down to his lap, terrified he had pitched a tent like a 15-year-old new recruit. Instead, he found that in the time it took to dress her wound, the porglets had shifted their attention from Rey to Poe himself. He looked down to find that all four had settled on his lap, looking up at him with their giant, sad eyes.

He let out a bark of relieved laughter that sent two of the porgs scurrying back to Rey. Of the two remaining, one decided to explore a small hole in the leg of his pants while the other started to climb his shirt.

He hadn’t realized his mother’s ring had come out from under his shirt until he felt a sharp tug on the back of his neck

“Hey!”

He looked down to find the chubbiest porglet, ring in mouth, dangling from the chain around his neck.

Rey burst out laughing, her eyes and nose crinkling in a way that he just knew he’d be thinking about later. You know, when there wasn’t a bird-rodent swinging from his most prized possession.

“I should have warned you, that one’s a thief,” she said, still smiling as he struggled with the hanging bird. “And it really likes shiny things.”

“What the hell,” he said, trying to pry the ring from the creature’s mouth. Why did it have so many teeth?

“Here,” she said, taking the porglet in one hand and using the other hand to coax the ring out of its mouth by way of a belly rub. The bird sighed at the attention, dropping the jewelry.

Poe took a second to examine the ring, running his thumb over the edge to make sure that no damage was done and, satisfied, tucked it back into his shirt. He watched as Rey set the offender down.

“Little bandit,” he said, watching as it waddled off to wreak havoc elsewhere in the cockpit.

“Oh, that would be a good name,” she said, brightening up. “Bandit.”

“Honestly, that one looks like lunch to me,” he fired off with a hint of that old Dameron charm.

“Poe!” Rey said, with a slightly scandalized tone. “You can’t name it after a meal!”

“I mean, Ration would do. Or maybe Snack?”

Those names earned him a laugh and a smack on the arm.

“All right, all right,” he said, still laughing as he absently rubbed his arm. She really packed a punch. “What do you suggest?”

“I suggest you two keep it down, as there are people on this ship actually trying to sleep.”

Both heads shot up as one as they recognized the gravelly voice of General Organa, leaning on her cane in the entryway.

Poe tried to jump to his feet, but he was slowed down by his protesting back, his knee cracking audibly as he straightened his legs. Apparently, being thrown across a hangar in an explosion at his age was not something you bounced back from. To his disgust, Rey rose in one smooth motion, wincing imperceptibly, not even pausing to stretch or shake out a sleeping limb. _Youths,_ he thought to himself as he popped a vertebrae in his lower back.

Leia was watching the scene with an amused, if still chastising, look on her face. Poe couldn’t shake the feeling he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar, no matter how much he reminded himself they weren’t doing anything wrong. Or really anything at all.

Chewbacca’s soft yowl saved Poe from having to speak first. He hoped to Gods that Chewie just woken when the General spoke, though he doubted he was that lucky.

“I was coming to relieve you,” she said to the wookiee.

He gave a short howl in response, the General nodding her head.

“If you’re sure,” she said, turning back to where Poe and Rey stood.

Poe watched as the large wookiee removed the porg from his chest and placed it on the floor in front of the co-pilots chair. He then got up and walked out of the cockpit, trailed by all five porglets. Poe made the mistake of looking over at Rey, who was unsuccessfully trying not to smile at the scene. The moment they made eye contact, she let a giggle escape, causing him to snort out in laughter. Even Leia joined in, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Can someone please explain to me when this old rattletrap became a birdcage?” she asked, still smiling.

She took a few steps further into the cockpit, stopping at the pilot’s seat. _Her late husband’s seat,_ thought Poe. She hesitated for barely a second before sitting down.

She turned the chair toward them.

“Captain, when was the last time you slept?”

Color rose on Poe’s cheeks at being addressed by his new (lower) title.

“About eight hours ago, ma’am.”

“Time spent stunned doesn’t count”

Poe felt Rey turn to look at him. He sighed.

“Not really sure then, yesterday at some point?”

Leia nodded.

“And you, Rey? When was the last time you slept?”

There was a pause.

“Centaxday, General,” she finally responded.

Leia narrowed her eyes. “Today is Centaxday.”

Rey blushed scarlet and closed her eyes to think again.

“Then it was Benduday,” she answered, a note of triumph in her voice. Poe wasn’t sure why she was triumphant about not sleeping for two days, but to each their own he supposed.

“Chewie and I will keep an eye on things in here,” said Leia, resting her cane against a wall. “Rey, the master bunk is open. Get some sleep, that’s an order.

“That goes for you too, Dameron. I don’t want to see either of you until 0600, understood?” She waited for assent. “Good. Now get out of here.”

Poe didn’t have to be told twice, high tailing it out of the cockpit before Leia could change her mind or further demote him. Rey followed him out and through the lounge, heading toward the back hallway and master bunk.

“Thanks for the patch up,” she said, indicating the bandage on her arm.

“My pleasure. Goodnight, Rey.”

She smiled at him. “Goodnight, Poe”

The door slid closed behind her, leaving Poe alone with his thoughts. The lights had been dimmed for the night and there were even less people up and about than the last time he’d been in the lounge. Two of his pilots sat on the bench eating rations on the holo table, while Connix looked at transmissions at the technical station in the back. The droids were nowhere to be found. Rose was still out cold, but now Finn was asleep as well, head resting on her bunk while he sat mostly upright on a chair. They probably should be sleeping in shifts, though at this point what did it matter? There wasn’t much they could do while they were still in hyperspace, so they may as well sleep.

Surveying the room, Poe decided one spot was as good as any, so he plopped down in front of the least crowded bit of wall (and if that bit of wall happened to be directly outside the door Rey just closed, then so be it), removing his coat and balling it up to soften the durasteel under his head.

The last thought he had before falling asleep was that he was never in a million years going to be able to fall asleep.

***

The door to the bunk closed and Rey let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. Her head was pounding harder than ever, and she had nearly passed out trying to get off the floor just now when General Organa showed up to relieve her. She had a feeling Poe had caught the look on her face, but thankfully he let it go without comment.

She started to pull her shirt off when a beep from the corner of the room made her jump.

“BB-8, what are you doing in here?” she asked, putting her shirt back to rights. She knew BeeBee was only a droid, but she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious all the same.

The small droid trilled at her.

“Well, thank you BeeBee, but all I want to do is get a shower and sleep”

BeeBee responded with a beep.

“I know we’re conserving water, the sonic will work just fine.”

Rey crossed the room and opened the refresher door, the lights flicking on automatically. She closed the door behind her, leaving BB-8 to its own devices in the main room.

She still wasn’t used to seeing her reflection in the mirror. Prior to this week, she’d really only caught glimpses of herself here and there when she found something especially shiny to scavenge. But between the cave of mirrors where she sought answers on Ahch-To and the throne room floor on the Supremacy, it seemed like everywhere she turned she saw her own face staring back at her.

And what a sight it was. She had a scrape above her left eye that would probably end up as a bruise. Her hair was absolutely ridiculous, greasy from the fight, knotted from the porglet, and randomly sticking up in every direction. She peeled off her vest and tunic slowly, trying not to cry out and alarm BB-8, and turned to get a better look in the mirror.

Her entire right side, from breast to hip, was covered in a deep bruise so dark it looked black in the light of the refresher. She tentatively touched a rib just below her breast band, the pain lancing through her side so sharp it took her breath away.

 _Well, that’s not ideal_ , she thought to herself, as she took off her boots and stepped out of her pants and underwear.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she had to do next. After second had passed, she reached around, grimacing at the flames that shot through her side, and began the slow process of removing her breast band.

Out of breath, she got into the stall and powered up the sonic, the vibrations cleaning her almost instantly. She stepped back in front of the mirror, combing her hair out with her finger to get the remaining knots.

She realized as she looked around the room that she didn’t have any clean clothes with her. All of her things were in her bag back in the cockpit. She panicked for a second, not wanting to put her discarded clothes back on along with the blood and the salt and the sweat from this never-ending day. She opened every drawer and cabinet until she found a towel that looked clean, wrapping it around herself quickly despite the pain.

She opened the door to find BB-8 rolling around, completely covered by what appeared to be a fur cape.

Rey couldn’t help but laugh at the little droid. “Where did you find that BeeBee?”

It rolled over to a smaller, separate room and extended a grabber from its main tool bay into a box near the back wall. The droid showed her yet another cape, this one made of some orange, shiny material.

“Thanks, friend,” she said, digging into one of the other boxes stacked in the room with one hand while she held the towel with her other.

She found what she was looking for in the second box.

“Perfect,” she murmured, pulling out a pair of old, but clean, leggings and a soft top she suspected must have belonged to Leia at some point. She figured the General wouldn’t mind and shooed BB-8 from the room.

She dropped the towel and stepped into the leggings. They were a little short, hitting her mid-calf, but still fit. She shrugged carefully into the top, trying not to upset her ribs. Satisfied with her sleepwear, she walked back into the main room and dropped carefully on the extra-wide bunk.

She had never slept in a real bed before, but as she sunk into the soft mattress she thought that people were definitely on to something with this. As she adjusted the pillows, BB-8 dimmed the lights from a port next to the bunk, earning a quick pat on its domed head.

As comfortable as she was, Rey couldn’t seem to let herself fall asleep. More had happened to her in the past few days than had happened to her in her first nineteen years combined, and she didn’t want to think about any of it. Pictures kept floating to the front of her mind unbidden: Snoke’s throne room, the stone cellar on Takodana, the interrogation chair on Starkiller, the hut on Ahch-To, a man in a mask, a beast in a golden robe.

 _No,_ she thought to herself, rolling over to face the wall. _We are not going to do this._

She closed her eyes, trying to achieve that clear-headed feeling she’d found only once, when Luke taught her to reach out with the Force.

No luck. She watched in her mind’s eye as the transports were hit, one by one, frozen in place just as she had been hours ago.

She rolled over onto her back, sighing. Perhaps she was too tired to sleep. Was that a thing? Maybe she’d ask Poe the next time she saw him.

Poe. Poe smiling as the porglet sang to him. Poe carefully cleaning her wound. Poe, a look of complete shock on his face as he watched the porg dangling from the ring around his neck.

 _He seems awful protective of that piece of jewelry_ , she reflected, her mind slowing down. She could feel her muscles relaxing, the tension of the day slowly melting away. _I wonder who it belongs to,_ was her final thought as her brain finally shut down for the night.


	2. Still Day Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Falcon has a critical malfunction, leading Rey and Poe to save the day. Rose wakes up and the two women in Finn's life meet for the first time. Poe has a nightmare and ends up sharing a lot more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick warning: There is a nightmare with descriptions of Poe's torture, along with quite a bit of discussion about it. Poe also accidentally knocks Rey down when he's half asleep. I bumped up the rating accordingly.

Someone was shaking Poe Dameron awake. _Five more minutes_ , he thought at whoever was bothering him. _Just five more minutes._

He sat bolt upright when the alarms started, taking a second to remember where he was. Millennium Falcon. Lounge. Durasteel floor.

Before he had a chance to get to his feet to investigate, the door behind him opened and Rey barreled out, making it two steps before her legs tangled in Poe’s.

“Fuck!” she shouted as she went sprawling into the room. “Why are you sleeping in front of doorways?”

 _Good question_ , he thought, as his droid rammed into his legs at full speed, fur cape attached to its domed head.

“Whoa, hey there buddy! Wait, why were you in the master bunk,” he asked, reaching out to try to help Rey on the ground, but she was already up, one hand gripped protectively around her midsection.

“And why are you in a cape?” he asked the droid, moving his legs so it could follow Rey.

BeeBee ignored him.

“Why is my droid in a cape?” he yelled after Rey as she disappeared around the corner. The Falcon shook again ominously, spurring him to action.

He got to his feet, cursing whatever the kriff was happening in his back. He’d have to go see Kalonia when they weren’t in imminent danger of blowing up. As he sprinted the rest of the way to the cockpit, the Falcon gave another ominous lurch, dropping out of hyperspace.

“What’s happening,” he asked, entering the cockpit out of breath.

“We’ve dropped out of hyperspace!”

Leia was out of the pilot’s seat, replaced by Rey. Chewbacca was barking instructions, or so Poe assumed, he only understood one out of every five words, while Rey replied rapid-fire.

“I checked the gravity compensator!”

“Life support is stable!”

“There’s no power to the hyperdrive!”

She paused, staring at a readout behind Poe’s head. It dawned on them at the same time.

“Fuseboxes!” they shouted in unison, both taking off for the main hold.

Rey beat him there, of course. She was already removing the grate to access the main circuitry when Poe arrived, wheezing slightly. He finished pulling the grate while Rey jumped into the belly of the Falcon. Poe decided his 10 year old self needed to get another dream: this hunk of junk was going to kill them all.

“Karking shit!” shouted Rey from below. _Well,_ he thought, _she certainly curses like a mechanic._

“Talk to me, what’s going on down there,” he asked.

Rey popped up from the hole in the floor. “It was the porgs, they’ve eaten through the main fusebox for the hyperdrive.”

Ok, this he could handle. “What do you need?”

She thought for less than a moment. “Spanner, pilex driver, any spare bit of wiring we can find, and some sealing tape.”

“On it. Hey, what system did we drop out in?”

She looked at him, fear in her eyes for the first time since he’d known her.

“Hosnian system.”

He blanched. “But that’s-”

“A pocket nova, I know. Hurry!” she shouted, dropping back down.

 

Poe didn’t have to go far. A crowd had started gathering around them, most of the ship having been woken up by either the shaking or the alarms or the shouting. He looked around at their terrified faces, pressing them into action.

“You heard her! You, grab the closest toolkit, make sure it has a spanner AND a pilex driver. Where’s my droid?” he asked, looking around the group.

Spotting the orange droid, he said, “BeeBee, get to the cockpit and start calculating the hyperspace route to any system but this one. I have a feeling we’re going to need a fast getaway. Threepio, shut up. I can hear you calculating the odds from here.”

He pointed to another pilot “There should be sealing tape in the lounge, go!”

He followed the pilot into the lounge, trying to figure out what wiring he could strip without bringing another critical system down.

“Poe?”

The voice was weak, but very familiar.

“Rose! You’re alive! You wouldn’t happen to have any spare wiring laying around? We’re all about to die.”

Still standing next to Rose, Finn looked at him like he was insane (which at this point was a very real possibility). But Rose, wonderful, smart, beautiful Rose, asked “Will this work?”

She snapped the teardrop-shaped necklace off her neck, a necklace Poe now realized was actually a golden medallion hanging on a piece of electrical wire.

He took the necklace from her hand, leaning over and planting a huge, sloppy kiss on her forehead.

“Rose, you may have just saved the Resistance!”

“I’m going to want that back when we land!” she shouted after him.

He was back down the hall in an instant, leaning over the hole to hand Rey the wiring. He placed the necklace in her outstretched hand, which disappeared back into the ship.

“Why are you giving me jewelry?” she asked, popping back up with a with a look of annoyance on her face.

“Look at the chain,” he said.

She looked at the necklace, her eyes going wide in realization before she dropped back down to the fuses.

He stood back, noticing that there were no less than three spanners and two extra pilex drivers lying around. So people did still listen to him.

At that moment, Rey let out a triumphant shout from beneath them accompanied by the sound of the hyperdrive coming back online. Poe didn’t wait for further instruction; he took off for the cockpit.

“Punch it!” he shouted at Leia and Chewie.

He looked out the transparisteel at what was left of the Hosnian system. They were just outside the debris field, everything around them being pulled slowly closer to the collapsed planets. The planets themselves sat in the middle, a gaping cluster of black holes only visible by the light and debris it was sucking in to its core.

He couldn’t believe this was all that was left. Three days ago, this was an entire system. Three days ago, they had a government. He didn’t even want to think about how many friends he had lost in the cataclysm; more than half the New Republic’s fleet was stationed on Hosnian Prime, his former brothers in arms. Hell, he could have been on Hosnian Prime had he made a few different life choices.

But now was not the time for what ifs. Chewie had thrown the Falcon into hyperspace, to no effect. He could hear the engines struggling, but the pull was too much for the old bird.

“Try diverting the weapons, shields, and life support systems,” said Rey from behind him. He hadn’t heard her come in.

“I think breathing may still be important,” said Leia.

“We won’t need to breathe if we’re pulled into whatever that thing is,” Rey said, gesturing out the viewport. “We just need a minute of extra power.”

Chewbacca chuffed at her, something Poe could actually understand: If you say so.

The wookiee started hitting a complicated series of clicks and toggles and levers, powering down all of the most important systems on the freighter to divert power to the hyperdrive.

The temperature plummeted instantly, the air feeling different in his lungs. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he swore his head was spinning. He looked down at BB-8, who was gently tapping into his leg, beeping encouragement in that ridiculous cape.

The hull let out an unholy groan, still fighting the pull of whatever the Hosnian system left behind.The next thirty seconds seemed to stretch for an hour as the Falcon hovered somewhere right on the edge of hyperspace, Poe’s stomach turning over from the feeling of ten or so consecutive jumps. With a final jolt, the old bird shot into hyperspace, sending Poe backwards into Rey.

Poe let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, his heart nearly pounding out of his chest as Chewie started to reset the disabled systems. He looked down at his hand, noticing it was still warm despite the frigid cabin temperature. Rey had reached out and was hanging on to his hand for dear life. Her trembling hand was the only outward sign that she was anything other than completely calm. He looked at her.

“How did you know that was going to work?” he asked.

“I didn’t,” she answered simply.

He gaped at her.

“I mean, I didn’t know for sure, but I had a feeling.”

“I can see why you got along so well with my husband,” said Leia dryly. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you two until 0600.”

“Extenuating circumstances,” Poe said by way of reply.

“To bed, both of you. You look dead on your feet. And Rey,” she said, fixing the woman with a patented stare. “If the porgs must stay, let’s make sure they aren’t eating the vital systems. I didn’t survive this week to be taken down by non-sentient birds.”

***

Rey’s face was on fire as she followed Poe out of the cockpit. Did everyone know about the porgs?

They had barely made it halfway down the hall when Poe stopped and turned on her, pulling her into a rib crushing hug.

“Holy kriffing hells, Jedi. I can’t believe we just did that!”

She laughed at his exuberance, despite the fact that her vision was starting to darken around the edges from the pain.

“Ok, ok that’s enough,” she said.

His hands dropped without hesitation. “Sorry, not appropriate.”

“No, it’s a totally appropriate response to almost dying. Again.” She laughed. “You were just crushing me.”

“I promise to keep my hands to myself,” he said, “Until the next time we’re almost killed by this old bird.”

“Hey, this old bird saved your life more than once today, have a little respect,” said Rey, offended on behalf of the ship

Poe snorted. “Hey, did I tell you Rose is up,” he asked, grabbing her hand and dragging her toward the lounge. So much for keeping his hands to himself. “Come on, you need to meet her.”

Sure enough, Rose was not only awake, but sitting up on the bunk while Finn gestured wildly.

“Rey! Poe! I was just filling Rose in on what she missed,” said Finn, turning back to Rose. “And we’re standing there in the dark like ‘game over,’ waiting for the First Order to find us, and the rocks just start to move.Like, by themselves. And then there’s all this light and this girl,” he puts his arm around Rey’s shoulders. “Is just standing there saving all of our asses with her Jedi mastery.”

“You should have seen the look on this guy’s face,” he said, slapping Poe on the back.

Rey watched the color creep up Poe’s neck. She’d seen how Poe looked at Finn when he thought the former stormtrooper wasn’t looking, so she couldn’t imagine why he would be embarrassed. He had looked at her like she was the answer to all of their problems, which at that moment, she had been.

“I’m Rey, by the way,” she said, extending her hand to the dark-haired woman.

“I’m Rose,” the other woman answered, taking her proffered hand. “I’ve heard all about you.”

The look on Rose’s face said that wasn’t necessarily a good thing, but Rey wasn’t going to let that distract her. She’d been dying to talk to mechanic since she heard one of the pilots describing the mods she had invented to disguise a ship’s energy signature.

“Well, I’ve heard that you’re the person who invented the new piece of tech that allowed the transports to go undetected,” said Rey, not even trying to disguise her excitement. “I was hoping to pick your brain on applying the theory to a larger ship.”

“Wait, do you mean putting my bafflers on the Millennium Falcon?” said Rose, perking up instantly. “My tech on the Millennium freaking Falcon? This ship is legendary! It blew up a Death Star!”

“Just wait, the honeymoon period doesn’t last long on this hunk of junk. You’ll be sick of fixing it in no time,” said Poe, earning a whack from Rey.

“She just needs a little love is all,” said Rey.

“Don’t we all,” Poe shot back, making Rey look away quickly. She noted an odd look of comprehension on Rose’s face as she watched them go back and forth.

Rey got back to the point. “So do you think it’s possible?”

“Well I mean, we’ll have to modify the output and dispersion methods, and recalibrate the ion exhaust, but it should be relatively simple as long as we can get enough power to it.”

“So, it’s bleeding off ion exhaust, right? Wouldn’t that mean it needs to be-”

“Plugged in to every single circuit in the engines? Yeah that’s the problem, and with an engine this size-”

“What if we ran it through the motivator? Bypassed the circuitry and piggybacked it off the hyperdrive.”

Rose took a minute to think that through. “Holy kriff, that’s it!” she said, breaking into a huge grin that Rey happily returned. “The smaller ships didn’t need the extra power, so I could never think past the main circuits.”

“Hey, man. Did you understand a single word of that?” Finn asked Poe.

“Not a word, and I know my way around an engine,” replied Poe.

Rey glanced over, catching the two men as they exchanged a bemused look.

“I like this one,” declared Rose, “She’s a keeper.”

Rey laughed, glad she had passed the test. She already liked the mechanic, too, something she hadn’t been too sure about when she first recognized Finn’s devotion to her after Crait. She’d only been gone for what? Three days, tops? And in that time, he had managed to completely replace her. But she was starting to realize that this was a completely different animal from what she shared with Finn. They had been each other’s first friend. This was… more.

She looked over at Poe, watching Finn. _Looks like we’re on the same boat._

“Hey maybe we should go down to the engine room and check out the hyperdrive motivator. Get an idea of what we’re working with,” Rose said, attempting to get off the bunk.

Finn practically lunged at her, gently pushing her back down to the mattress.

“Hey! I’m not an invalid,” yelled Rose.

“Kalonia said you should rest. You have a concussion!” said FInn, pulling up the blanket.

Rose narrowed her eyes at him, but laid back down nonetheless.

“Fine, but tomorrow I’m getting out of this bed and running a diagnostic on something!”

Rey laughed at that. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I’m heading to bed before I fall asleep standing.”

“Same. Glad to have you back, Rosie,” added Poe, ruffling the mechanic’s black hair. “Night, Finn.”

“Hey Rey, make sure you grab me tomorrow if you go take a look at the hyperdrive,” said Rose, laying back on her pillows.

“Sure thing, Rose. Night, FInn.”

They left the two of them bickering affectionately, walking toward the back of the main hold.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Rey asked, as Poe leaned over, obviously attempting to lower himself to the floor outside her room.

“I’m gonna get some shut eye, General’s orders,” he responded.

“On the floor?”

“No place better.”

Rey rolled her eyes and grabbed the pilot’s arm, dragging him into the master behind her.

He sputtered at her, “Rey. I don’t. This isn’t.”

“What,” she asked, “This isn’t what?”

He shuffled from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable with this line of questioning, and ran a hand through his already messy hair.

“This isn’t proper,” he blushed.

Rey rolled her eyes. She was far too tired and far too sore and far too dirty to deal with Poe Dameron’s delicate sensibilities right now.

“What is the difference between sleeping in here with me and sleeping out there with Finn and Rose?”

“A closed door,” he replied succinctly. “And about 20 witnesses.”

 “That’s ridiculous. You and I both need to sleep and I know for a fact that that bed is more comfortable than durasteel.”

“Just because it’s more comfortable than the floor doesn’t mean we need to share a bed, Rey.”

Now it was Rey’s turn to blush. “I didn’t say anything about sharing. You take the bed and I’ll take the bench.”

“The ghost of my mother will come back specifically to kick my ass if she finds out I took the bed and made a woman sleep on a bench.”

She catalogued that piece of history for later.

“It’s padded. And I’m shorter anyway”

“By what, two inches?” he shot back.

They stared at each other across the small room, arms crossed and both too stubborn to give in. Rey could see the exhaustion etched on to his face; she imagined her face didn’t look much better. They were wasting time better spent sleeping, and Rey still needed to shower off the Falcon grease and dust bunnies she had accumulated under the ship. She sighed.

“I’m taking first shower,” she said, turning to the smaller room with the boxes of clothes. She needed something clean to sleep in, preferably not a cape. “If you want to leave, that’s up to you.”

Poe followed her in, looking around the small room.

“Why does the Millenium Falcon have a walk-in closet?” he wondered aloud.

 _Closet_ , thought Rey, trying out the new word, _This is a closet_.

“No clue, but hopefully there is something else I can wear in here,” she said, opening one of the boxes. More capes.

“You know, you could just toss those in the sonic after you get out,” he said.

Rey paused her digging for a moment. “That works on clothes?”

Poe smiled. “Old trick from the Republic Navy. Water’s better, but the sonic will work just fine.”

“Thanks,” she said, making her way back into the main room. Poe followed, setting himself down on the padded bench outside the closet.

“I’ll just wait here until you’re out,” he said. “Can’t say no to a shower.” 

She nodded and made her way to the ‘fresher, closing the door behind her. She was confronted with her reflection for the second time tonight, this time her face covered in streaks of Falcon grime. _Lovely_ , she thought, stepping out of her clothes and into the shower stall. Less than a minute later she was tossing the pile of clothes, both old and new, into the sonic. After the cycle completed, she took out a shirt that had been coated in Falcon grease. Poe was right, the thing came out looking brand new.

She hopped back into the miraculously clean leggings and top, folding up her day clothes for tomorrow. It struck her that this was the first time she had more than one outfit to choose from, a thought that left her giddy.

She walked back in to the main room to find Poe sprawled out on the bench, snoring softly. She laughed to herself as she grabbed an extra blanket, gently tucking him in. The Falcon still hadn’t warmed up after the life support shutdown; she didn’t want him to wake up frozen in the middle of the night. She looked down at him, gently brushing a curl off his forehead, and marveled at how young he looked.

 _What are you doing?_ She thought, backing away from the sleeping pilot. _This is not your place._

She turned around, getting into bed and dimming the lights. She was out before she hit the pillow, all thoughts of her friend’s soft curls forgotten.

***

_He was back in the chair. Or, was it that he had never left the chair? He was always in the chair and had always been in the chair and the chair was everything and everything was pain._

_They were waiting for another droid. He’d broken the last one’s auditory sensors, and what was the fun in torturing a man if you couldn’t record it for posterity?_

_But there was someone else in the room. Kylo Ren approached the chair, hand raised, asking the questions over and over again, each one digging deep into his brain, sharp as knives. Where is the map to Luke Skywalker? Where is the droid? Where is the girl?_

_Images flashed in his head: the dreadnaught directly in front of him; the bombers getting picked off one by one; turning his blaster on Holdo; the transports blowing up all around them; the Raddus turning around to face the Supremacy; the flash of light when Holdo made the ultimate sacrifice; facing down the walkers in a 40 year old skim speeder; retreating through the caves; the girl, lit up like an angel, completely surrounded by floating rocks. He could take whatever he wanted._

_He couldn’t tell them, it was too important. She was too important, the last Jedi. But the knives were back in his brain, cutting out the location, her location, the scream erupting from his mouth completely involuntary…_

He woke up with a jolt, sure he was still in that room, on that chair, lashing out and hitting something solid, sending it to the floor with an “oomph.” He looked around, slowly coming out of the dream.

“Poe, it’s ok, it’s ok. You were dreaming,” said Rey from where she had fallen. _No,_ he thought, _from where you had pushed her._

He couldn’t stop shaking, trying desperately to just breath in and out. “I’m sorry, Rey. Oh gods, I’m so sorry.” To his horror, he realized he was crying.

Rey was up and over to him, taking him in her arms where he had slid to the floor. “It’s ok, Poe. Just breathe, ok? You didn’t mean it. Just breathe.”

They sat like that for a few minutes, with his head resting heavily on her shoulder and her arms around him rubbing his back while she whispered nonsense to try to calm him down. She was so warm and solid, like a personal sun, while he sat shaking in her arms.

“You’re on the Falcon. It’s ok, Poe. Just breathe.”

His heart slowly returned to its normal rhythm.

He took one final deep breath and gently untangled himself from her, wiping his face on his shirt.

“So,” she said, gently, sliding over to join him against the wall. “What was that all about?” 

He scrubbed his hands over his face, buying a little time. If he had his way, he’d keep this whole episode to himself. No need to burden the young Jedi with his baggage. But seeing as he had just woken her up screaming, flung her across the room, and literally cried on her shoulder, he felt he owed her at least an explanation.

“When I was taken by the First Order on Jakku, they brought me back to the FInalizer and tortured me for information on the map to Luke. At first they used a droid, which wasn’t fun but it was manageable,” he swallowed thickly. “After a couple hours, Kylo Ren decided he could speed things along. He dug into my brain, took all the information he needed, and left me to die. I was ready to die. That’s when Finn saved me.

“Now, the nightmares are a new kind of fun. They like to combine the torture with a remix of my greatest hits from the past week. So I get to see myself make the same karking decisions over and over again. I get to watch my friends die on repeat. You know, Rose’s sister Paige was on one of those bombers. We were friends, more than friends on occasion. She died because I decided I needed to add the destruction of a dreadnaught to my resume. _”_

“But Poe,” she said, rubbing his arm in an assuring way, “If you hadn’t taken down that dreadnaught, it would have just followed you through hyperspace. No one would have survived.”

“But I didn’t know that, Rey,” he said, finally looking her in the eyes. “I didn’t know that yet, all I knew is that I just wanted to blow the damn ship up. I _needed_ to be the one to take down that Dreadnaught, no matter the cost.”

Poe looked down, breaking eye contact. Her hand was still resting on his forearm. He shifted his arm back towards his body, breaking that contact too.

They sat in silence for a moment. Then, almost so quietly he would have missed it over the sounds of the Falcon, “I mean, are you sure it was just you?”

His head shot up. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, did you really just want to destroy a Dreadnaught or did you feel like you needed to destroy that Dreadnaught?”

He blinked at her twice, his sleep deprived brain still not getting it.

She sighed, heavily. “The Force, Poe. Did something in the Force tell you that the only way the Resistance would survive is if the Dreadnaught was out of the picture?”

He looked at her with a blank expression while those words soaked in. The laughter that escaped his mouth a second later was completely involuntary.

She blushed furiously, turning to get up. The look on her face was sobering enough to get himself under control. Still smiling, he reached out for her arm, bringing her back to their conversation.

“Please don’t go,” he said to her kindly, a half smile left on his face while took her hands in his. For some reason, he needed the contact for the next part. “I’m sorry, it’s just,” he paused, trying to figure out how he wanted to put this. “I grew up with all that, so I know it’s possible. I mean how couldn’t I? I’ve got living proof sitting right in front of me,” he smiled at her with that last line. “But me? I’m just a pilot. I’m just a pilot who made a bad call and lost a lot of friends for it.”

He let her hands drop and scrubbed his own face again, as if he could wipe away the image of the bombers exploding one after another from his mind’s eye. When he looked up, she was still staring at him with a look of, well not quite pity. _Empathy,_ his brain supplied. _She’s looking at you like she feels your pain_. She didn’t understand. He’d just have to make her.

“And that’s not even the last bad call I made this week. I led a mutiny, Rey. A short-lived and not very successful mutiny, but a mutiny nonetheless. I sent Finn and Rose on a mission that ended with our transports being taken out one by one by the First Order, while the rest of us watched. Where was the Force during all of that? Where was nudge in the right direction while I gave those orders? I couldn’t even lead our people out of the damn caves on Crait! That was you. You saved us, not me,” he finished. He looked down at his hands, realizing for the first time that they were clenched into fists on his lap, knuckles white from the pressure.

And Rey, she was still there, same expression on her face. He looked up at her, shaking from the emotion of his confession and the leftover adrenaline. She silently reached over to where his hands were balled on his thighs, unfurling them and placing them in her own. He held on for dear life.

Well, this conversation had certainly gotten away from him.

Rey took a deep breath.

“You know, when I found you guys on Crait, I wasn’t coming from Ahch-To. I had already left Luke.”

Poe looked at her in surprise. He assumed she and Luke had sensed something in the Force and come to save them.

“I let myself be manipulated into joining Kylo Ren on the Supremacy. I thought I could turn him, and turn the tide of this war. He thought he could turn me and we’d start a new order. We were both being played by Snoke.”

He looked down to where their hands were still joined. Now it was his turn to listen, his turn to provide comfort.

“We could see each other on Ahch-To. He’d appear out of nowhere; we thought the Force was connecting us, that we were bonded. He’d tortured me days before and I was naive enough to think I could save him, to think I even should save him. We touched hands through our… connection, and I saw the conflict in him. It was all Snoke. He connected us; he made sure I saw that conflict. He exploited my weaknesses by showing me Kylo’s. So I went to the Supremacy while Chewie waited for me a system away,” she paused for a moment, trying to blink away the tears forming in her eyes. 

“He put me in shackles and watched as Snoke tortured me for Luke’s location,” she stated it as a matter of fact, but he watched as her eyes betrayed her, tears spilling over on to her cheeks. “He made me watch as the First Order fired on the transports.”

Without thinking, Poe let go of one of her hands and reached over to brush away those tears with his thumb. It was far too intimate a gesture for how long they’d known each other, but she didn’t pull back and she didn’t stop talking.

“But when Snoke ordered him to kill me, Kylo turned on him. Killed him on his throne. When Snoke’s guards turned on us, we fought for our lives, back to back, and killed every last one,” she said with steel in her voice, despite the tears. “And after all that, he still wouldn’t help the Resistance. His own mother was on one of those transports and he wanted to let her die.

“So, yeah. I know a thing or two about bad decisions,” she finished rather abruptly, taking back her other hand from Poe and wiping her face.

“So that’s when you fought over the lightsaber?” Poe asked, trying to link the parts he had already heard.

She sniffed, finished crying for the time being. “Yeah, and then Holdo…” she let it drift off. Holdo’s sacrifice needed no explanation.

“I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Will your connection with Ren put us in danger?”

She looked at him, her eyes bright in the dim light. “I honestly don’t know.”

It was quiet for a few moments, the air heavy with the weight of their confessions. Poe decided to break the tension.

“Well, I was only tortured once this week, so you definitely win.”

Rey let out a half chuckle. “I didn’t know it was a competition.”

“Oh, it’s always a competition with me, sweetheart” he winked at her, earning a true smile for the first time that night. Mission accomplished.

He nudged her with his shoulder. “Torture buddies.”

“I’m not sure that’s a club people would like to join,” she said, looking over at him with a half smile.

“It’s very exclusive.”

She laughed softly, the sound hitting him straight in the chest, and grabbed his hand. _Uh-oh,_ he thought to himself.

“Thanks, Poe,” she said.

He turned to her, confused. “For what?”

“For sharing. For listening. For making me laugh.”

She stood up, extending a hand to bring him along with her. He got to his feet slowly, with her help. Kriff, he was too old to be spending this much time on the floor.

“Come on, let’s at least try to get some sleep,” she said, pulling him toward the bed. He hesitated.

“Nah, I’m up. I think I’ll just go check in with the General.”

“You’ve barely slept two hours in the past two days, Poe,” said Rey, not letting him get away. Gods, she was strong for such a scrawny thing. “At this rate, you’ll dead by the end of the week.”

Ok, so she had a point. He let her drag him to the double bed set into the wall.

She got onto the bed, scooting against the back wall. “Just lay down,” she said. “We can talk and if we fall asleep, we fall asleep.”

He wondered if she realized just how intimate her suggestion was. He knew from FInn that she had grown up alone in the desert, but he had no clue what she knew of humans and bodies and beds and what human bodies did in beds. She was just so young. He felt like a dirty old man just thinking about it.

“Stop. I can feel you overthinking this. It’s just sleep, Poe.”

He exhaled. _Here goes nothing._

He grabbed the covers, pulling them over Rey. “Don’t want to get your sheets dirty,” he said. He kicked off his boots, laying down on top of the covers facing her. Oh gods, he was definitely going to hell.

“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you without the wraps,” he said, gently stroking her arm. Among thevarious freckles and scrapes, he noticed a small round mark a shade darker than her skin on the soft underside of her wrist.

Rey laughed softly. “Very observant, I haven’t had them on for hours.”

“Why do you keep your tattoo covered,” he asked, running his thumb over the symbol, the skin rough. He recognized his mistake instantly.

Rey yanked her arm away from his, reflexively rubbing her wrist.

“I keep it covered because it’s not a tattoo. It’s a brand, Poe,” she said softly. “My parents sold me to a junk boss when I was a child. I was a slave, Unkar Plutt’s property, until Finn and BB-8 found me.”

“I’m so sorry, Rey.”

She smiled at him weakly. “It’s not your fault. It’s just not a conversation I like having; that’s why I keep it covered.”

“So is there anything safe to talk about?” he joked.

“Between the two of us? I doubt it.” She laughed.

It was quiet for a minute, his eyes starting to droop as he relaxed in her presence.

“Lovely weather we’re having,” he said, starting to doze despite himself.

“Ah yes, the recycled air is especially sweet today,” she replied, her eyes barely open. “Just so you know, I told Leiaabout the connection as soon as we got off Crait.”

“I trust you.”

He reached out for her hand, grateful for her warmth when she let him take it in his own. His thumb rubbed gently over the brand on her wrist.

The last thing he thought before drifting to sleep was that he could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My plan from here on out is to update with another chapter once a week on Fridays. Fingers crossed I can keep up the pace! Also, I swear there is plot forthcoming, I just take a roundabout way to get there.


	3. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Rose have an interesting conversation while working on the hyperdrive, while Poe and what's left of the Resistance command plot their next steps. A visit to Kalonia ends up teaching Rey a little about friendship.

Rey woke up slowly, her body unwilling to let go of sleep. She stretched languidly, rolling over into the space vacated by Poe. She wondered if he had abandoned her at some point during the night, but the bed was still warm where he had slept. So where was he?

As if to answer her unspoken question, the door to the fresher slid open, revealing a freshly showered Poe Dameron.

“Morning, sunshine,” he said, a bounce in his step. Someone was a morning person. “Just so you know, it’s 0830. You may want to get moving.”

“Kriff!” she shouted, as she jumped out of bed, blanching at the pain in her ribs. She may have overdone it a bit yesterday. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You looked so peaceful, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Plus, I figured we earned a little extra sleep after we saved the Falcon last night.”

“Hey, _I_ saved the Falcon last night.”

“Well, I helped,” he said with a smirk.

She laughed, walking in to the fresher with her bundle of clothes. “If you say so, Captain.”

She dressed in record time, noting that the bruise looked worse today. She must have done something else to it yesterday, while the adrenaline masked the pain.

She walked out of the fresher expecting to find an empty room, but Poe was waiting for her at the door, examining a small cut on his hand. She stepped into the main room and grabbed the fabric for her arm wraps. She may haveshared with Poe last night, but it was still easier to just keep covered. Plus it was freezing on the ship.

Poe watched from the doorway as she wound the cloth around one arm and then the other, practiced hands finishing the task in under a minute. When she finished, he opened the door for her and they walked into the main hold together.

“Captain Dameron, Rey, so nice of you to join us.”

General Organa was sitting at the holotable, smirking at the pair somewhat knowingly. Rey’s face flamed. She realized this was what Poe was worried about last night when he was sputtering about propriety.

She looked over at him to find his face equally red, though he looked decidedly less guilty than she felt.

“Well, I’m going to go take a look at the hyperdrive,” mumbled Rey, not making eye contact with anyone. She made a bee line toward the technical station where Rose was running diagnostics, as promised.

The smirk on the woman’s face was enough to make Rey blush again.

Rey grabbed Rose’s arm and dragged her toward the cargo lift, toolkit in hand. When the doors shut behind them, Rose turned on her.

“Oh my god, you and the literal poster child of the Resistance,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. “So what’s he like under all of that handsome.”

The doors to the lift opened, saving Rey from having to answer immediately.

“Nothing happened. I didn’t see under anything. We talked, we slept.”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me that you are unaffected by Poe Dameron. That man is a snack,” Rose said, leaning over to examine a port in the motivator. “And besides, I’ve seen how you look at him. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ve got it bad.”

“Wait, aren’t you with Finn?” Rey asked.

Rose blushed prettily. “I mean, kind of. But I’m not dead. Or blind. Can you hand me a spanner?”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter whether or not I’m interested,” she said, finding the tool at the top of the kit and handing it to Rose. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure you and Poe have the same taste in men.”

Rose laughed. “Yeah, I noticed that too. Poe is kind of an… equal opportunity type of man.”

“What?” asked Rey, completely confused.

“He doesn’t have a preference - men or women. He even had a thing with my sister a while back.”At the mention of her sister, Rose’s voice wavered. “Can you check the levels on the power core?”

Rey paused, walking over to the engineering station. She brought up the power core program, toggling over to the page she needed all the while thinking back to something Poe had said about Paige last night. He said they were friends. And he felt responsible for her death.

“Then why are you asking _me_ about him? You obviously have more information than I do,” she said, waiting for the data to run.

“Paige never shared any of that stuff with me. I was her kid sister and she was doing decidedly adult things with a decidedly adult male, one that I may have had a little crush on when we joined the Resistance.” She took a deep breath. “She was probably trying to spare my feelings; Paige was always good like that.”

Rey looked down as Rose wiped her eyes.

The program finally loaded and Rey read off a long string of numbers from the screen in front of her. Rose nodded thoughtfully.

“I think that will be more than enough power to run the bafflers. Now we’ve just got to scavenge the parts once we land somewhere.”

Rey smiled. “Scavenging is one of my specialties.”

“Great, do you think you’ll be able to help me convert the power supply connections?”

“Sure, when do we start?” replied Rey. She was ready for a distraction.

***

“Captain Dameron, Rey, so nice of you to join us.”

The General was sitting at the holotable, that smirk on her face that she got whenever she saw Poe and Rey together. His face flushed. This was exactly what he was imagining would happen when Rey dragged him into her bedroom last night. He would be mad if that hadn’t been the best night of sleep he’d had in weeks. She was right, that bed was heaven.

Rey made an excuse and hauled Rose off to look at the hyperdrive, leaving Poe to deal with what was left of Resistance command.

Leia addressed him, “Command meeting, Dameron.”

He blushed again. “Sorry, General. I’ll get out of your way.”

“Where are you going?” she said, waving him forward. “I’ve been messing with you, Commander, we don’t have enough people for that demotion to stick. Get over here and start trying to redeem yourself.”

He smiled nervously, sliding behind the table next to Leia. He sobered when he realized the three people around the table, Leia, D’Acy, and himself, were all that was left of Resistance command. He shook off the feeling of hopelessness that accompanied that realization, turning to the task at hand.

“So, what next? We can’t stay in hyperspace forever,” said Poe.

D’Acy spoke up. “Well, we have reports that the First Order have attacked some of the better known Rebel bases,” Poe took in a sharp breath, panic starting to fill his chest. “Namely Dantooine, Yavin 4, and Hoth.”

Leia must have sensed his rising panic, reaching over and touching his hand. “Kes is fine, Poe. He’s the one who told us about the old temple getting bombed.” She turned to D’acy. “Commander Dameron is from Yavin 4. It’s his father who offered help.”

Poe turned at that. “We’re going to Yavin?”

Leia smiled. “Yes, your father received our message and he and the village have offered to shelter us.”

“But won’t that put a target on their backs? I mean, wouldn’t that be the first place the First Order looks?”

“Well, judging by the state of the temple, they’ve already looked there. We’re counting on them thinking we aren’t dumb enough to go back.”

“So the whole base is lost,” he asked.

“At the moment, it appears that it was just an airstrike. The upper levels of the temple have been lost, but a large chunk of that base was underground. We have reason to believe the lower levels are salvageable, at least for us to regroup,” explained D’Acy. She looked at Poe, just a hint of mistrust in her eyes. Well, she was definitely someone he had pointed a blaster at in the last two days, so he couldn’t really blame her.

“Ok, then what?” asked Poe.

“Then we wait, Commander Dameron,” answered Leia.

“What do you mean, wait?”

“We wait for more people to hear our message and find us. We wait for our remaining squadrons to return. We wait for fear of the First Order to bring us recruits. We wait,” she said.

“But, the First Order-”

“The First Order is hurting too, but what can we do? We have twenty-some souls on a heavily modified freighter that may fall apart at any second. We need to be patient. It took the Rebel Alliance years to build up its fleet; we’re starting from scratch here, Poe.”

He took a moment to think. Thanks to Holdo, the First Order was hurting. The Supremacy had basically been a mobile capitol, and her stunt had effectively crippled it. If they could strike now…

But with what? The General was right, they had no ships, they had no personnel, they had no back up. What they had was time. The First Order would take some time to rebuild, leaving the new Rebellion time to do the same. And Yavin was a good start; the village was full of retired rebel soldiers and second generation sympathizers. Hell, maybe even his father would come out of retirement.

He looked at D’Acy and Leia and smiled. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go home.”

***

Rey got off the cargo lift alone, having left Rose down in engine room, and started toward the cockpit, avoiding the main hold and the knowing looks of General Organa. She paused in an empty hallway, leaning against the bulkhead for a minute to think.

Rose’s words about her sister were bouncing around Rey’s head. Poe and Paige. They had been together, at least in one important way if Rey was picking up on that innuendo correctly. She knew from talk around the Falcon that Paige had been in the last bomber, the one that took down the Dreadnaught. She had sacrificed herself so the Resistance could get away, and Poe blamed himself for it.

She sounded fierce, not unlike her sister, Rose. Rey liked the mechanic more with each passing day. She was no nonsense in a way that Rey appreciated, not staring at her in awe like half the people on the Falcon were these days. Maybe it was because she wasn’t awake for the rescue on Crait, but Rey had a feeling that even if she had been it wouldn’t matter. Rose was more impressed with Rey’s ability to fix the Falcon’s hyperdrive than she was with her ability to move things with her mind.

She had received another piece of the puzzle courtesy of Rose. She’d seen Poe looking at Finn and just assumed that he couldn’t or wouldn’t be interested in her. His reluctance to share a bed with her actually made a lot more sense now, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She couldn’t deny that she had felt something when she held him in her arms, something she hadn’t felt with another person before. And when they fell asleep together, hand in hand, she couldn’t help but feel safe, truly safe, for the first time in her life.

She supposed that was her answer. She took a deep breath and continued down the hall leading to the cockpit.

Rey was back in the pilot’s seat of the Falcon when Leia came in, BB-8 in tow.

“We have a new course to set,” said Leia. Rey noticed how heavily she was relying on her cane.

They had been bouncing around from system to system for nearly two days, dropping out of hyperspace just long enough to set a new course to the opposite side of the galaxy before taking off again. Fuel hadn’t become an issue yet, but Rey knew it was only a matter of time. They were less than five minutes from the next drop, a quick stop where they could recalculate and set Leia’s course.

Chewie yowled out the question on Rey’s mind.

“Yavin 4. And we’ll be preparing to land. BB-8 has the coordinates.”

Upon hearing its name, the droid rolled up and plugged into the nearest port. Rey watched the coordinates flash across the nav.

“What’s on Yavin 4?” asked Rey, curious about their destination.

“An old rebel base and a bunch of old rebels,” replied Leia. “They’re going to take us in until we can set up a new base of operations.”

They dropped out of hyperspace somewhere in the outer rim. Rey had never heard of the planet before; apparently it had been a big deal back before hyperspace travel, but now it sounded like nothing but a den for smugglers and spice traders. The First Order obviously felt the same, mostly ignoring the planet and its inhabitants, making it a good spot for a quick turnaround.

Rey brought up the coordinates, BB-8 making the necessary calculations to get them back into hyperspace.

“Chewie, send a com to Kes Dameron. Tell him we’re on our way,” said Leia.

Rey’s head flew up. “Dameron, you mean…”

“Poe’s father,” responded Leia, as she walked out of the cockpit.

Rey quickly finished her input, nodding to Chewie to make the jump. She followed the General out into the main hold, intending to ask her more about what they were doing.

“Rey!” she stopped in her tracks, looking for the source of the shout. “Rey, get over here. I need an extra set of hands!”

She found Rose standing on a console in the back hallway, trying to reach something in the ceiling. Finn and Poe were standing on the ground, watching Rose work and being generally useless.

“Here, let me,” said Rey, pulling herself onto the console, her breath hitching when she put her full weight on her arms. She looked down and Poe was staring up at her intently.

If she could just make it through the next few days, she knew she’d be fine. She’d been banged up worse on Jakku on more than one occasion. They didn’t need to waste what few supplies they had on her.

She ignored Poe’s look, and turned to see what Rose was trying to do in the ceiling.

As Rey looked up, she saw that there was a slow coolant drip coming from one of the pipes that Rose was trying to seal with tape. She also saw that Rose was a good three inches too short to reach.

“So why couldn’t one of these two help you?” Rey asked, taking the sealing tape from Rose and quickly winding a few lengths around the pipe in question. Satisfied with her work, she handed the tape back to Rose.

“Don’t trust them,” Rose responded with a shrug. “The Falcon is a particular lady; not just anyone will do.”

Rey laughed at the same time both men shouted “Hey!”

They replaced the ceiling panel and turned to get off the console, Finn extending a hand to help Rose down. Not to be outdone, Poe extended his hand to assist Rey.

She took his hand gratefully, hopping down and wincing again as something in her side pinched, taking away her breath for barely a second. Of course Poe picked up on it immediately.

“Nope, we’re done with this. You’re going to sit down and let Kalonia look at you, or I’ll get the General to make that an order.”

“Gee, you’re going to tell Mommy on me,” she shot back angrily, watching as his naturally golden skin blushed a delicate pink from his cheeks down to the base of his neck.

Finn and Rose quickly found other things to do.

He didn’t miss a beat. “Well, if you’re going to act like a child, then you’ll be treated like one,” he spat back, obviously a little heated himself.

Now it was her turn to blush. She felt the heat bloom from her chest, creeping upwards until her whole face felt like it was on fire. Sufficiently mortified, she looked away from his warm, brown eyes, currently narrowed at her and her stubbornness, and down at her boots.

She heard him take a breath and slowly let it out.

“I’m sorry,” he said much more quietly, uncrossing his arms. She looked up to find him staring at her with a look that left her vaguely itchy. “That was out of line. I know it’s not my place, and that you’re doing this for a noble reason, but just let her look at you. Please.” He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “Just in case there’s something worse going on in there.”

Well, damn. When he put it like that, there wasn’t really anything she could argue with. She hated when he started making sense like that.

Making up her mind, she uncrossed her own arms, gesturing forward. “Lead the way, Commander.”

He broke into a wide grin, the gesture lighting up his whole face. When he looked at her like that, she couldn’t stop her own smile to save her life.

She followed him down the hall and around the corner to the bunk where Kalonia had set up her makeshift medbay. Rey stepped into the former triple bunk to find Kalonia sitting in a chair by one of the beds, holopad in hand. Her sizable medkit was laid out on the only table in the room, instruments glinting in the artificial light. The door quietly closed behind them.

The doctor looked up from her holopad, wholly unsurprised to see the two of them.

“I’ve been watching you flinch around these halls for days,” she said to Rey, as if reading her mind. She stood up and gestured toward her vacated chair. “Shirt off, please. Let’s have a look.”

***

Poe didn’t have a chance to turn around or close his eyes before Rey whipped off her tunic in the middle of the room. He had time to register her breast band and the giant purple bruises covering her right side before his brain caught up and snapped his eyes shut. His hand shot up to cover his face, which burned, most likely beet red, under his palm.

Gods, what was he thinking coming here with her?

Kalonia and Rey both laughed. He couldn’t even be mad; he knew he looked like a karking idiot standing in the middle of the room with his hand over his eyes, blushing like a young maiden on her wedding night. “Sorry! I’ll just-”

Rey didn’t let him finish. “It’s fine Poe. I’m covered. And since you’re the one making me do this, you’re going to stand here and watch me get a clean bill of health.” He could hear the stubbornness creeping into her voice.

He took a deep breath, in and out, and uncovered his eyes.

Rey stood in the back of the room, arms raised as Kalonia scanned her side with a handheld mediscanner. She looked so pale in the harsh light, he could count every freckle on her face from a meter away. And, kriff, weren’t they feeding her here? Had he seen her eat in the time since they left Crait? Her ribs looked sharp enough to cut through the thin skin on her ribcage and that wasn’t even taking into consideration the livid looking purple bruises blooming from under the edge of her breast band all the way down to her right hip bone.

He’d been with her, practically nonstop, for the past day and a half. How had he not noticed this?

 _“_ Well, there’s one fracture,” murmured Kalonia, breaking Poe out of his thought spiral. “Wait,” she paused, running the device over the same spot again. “Nope, definitely two.”

She turned off the scanner, setting it down on the table and reaching into the medkit. Bacta patches in hand, she turned her attention to Rey.

“Ok, bacta patches for the next two days, changed morning and night, which I will see to personally. After two days, we’ll reassess. Absolutely no breast band. Absolutely no lifting, through the Force or otherwise. I expect you,” she turned and pointed directly at Poe, “to keep her honest. Everyone understand?”

Rey started to protest about supplies and need but was swiftly cut off by the older woman.

“Rey, I am well aware of our situation. I wouldn’t prescribe treatment unless absolutely necessary, which in your case it is. Rest. If you injure those ribs any more you could do some serious damage, and without access to a bacta suit, I don’t know what I could do to help you.”

Rey looked at Poe from her spot in the back of the room, hazel eyes pleading, looking for back up. Poe smiled at her, shaking his head slightly, indicating that she was on her own for this one.Rey took a deep breath, recognizing defeat.

“Ok, let’s do this,” she said.

Kalonia walked behind Poe and the door slid open part way, leaving just enough room for Poe to be unceremoniously shoved into the hallway.

“Commander Dameron,” said Kalonia by way of goodbye, the door sliding shut between them.

***

When Rey opened the door to the improvised MedBay, Poe and BB-8 were waiting for her on the other side. Rey would have loved the push past, ignoring them for turning her in and hanging her out to dry, but Poe had rations in his hands and she was absolutely STARVING.

“Peace offering,” he said, sensing her mood. He extended one of the packets to her. “Space rations, but it’ll fill the void.”

She accepted his offering, instantly softening at the smile on his face when she did so. _Kriff,_ she thought, _How am I supposed to be the fearsome Jedi the Resistance needs, when all it takes is some food and a smile to make me melt?_

 _“_ I’m still mad at you,” she said, more for her own benefit than anything else. She started down the hall toward the main hold, Poe following closely behind.

“I was just trying to help,” he said.

“I don’t need your help,” snapped Rey, her stubborn streak roaring to life at Poe’s pity.

Poe snorted, “No shit, sweetheart. I know you don’t _need_ my help; I’m fairly certain you could kick my ass into next week without even breaking a sweat.” He touched her arm lightly, her temper dying out as quickly as it had flared up. “But you don’t need to do this alone. You’re part of something bigger now. You have people who care about you, who want to look out for you. Let us. And I’d hope you’d do the same for me or Finn or Rose when the time came.”

He walked away from her, leaving her alone and ashamed in the hall. She looked down at her peace offering and shook her head, following him into the room.

She joined him at the holotable, sliding in to sit next to him. He silently passed her the water to rehydrate her meal.

 _“_ I’m sorry,” she said, stirring the little container and watching the contents become food. “I’m not used to anyone worrying about me.”

“Well, you better get used to it,” said Finn, eavesdropping. He slid in to the seat next to her. “Ugh, this stuff is awful. I swear this is womp rat.”

Rey picked up her spoon and took a bite. Then another. “It’s not so bad,” she said, her mouth full. It was certainly better than the quarter portions of vegmeat and bread she’d been living off for the last fifteen or so years, and much more filling. She probably wouldn’t need to eat for another day when she was done. She had no clue why everyone was making such awful faces.

“Girl, we’ve got to get you exposed to some better food,” said FInn, shaking his head.

“Just wait until we get to Yavin,” said Poe, putting down his spoon. “The koyos, the fresh meat, veg from the garden, my dad is going to have so much fun fattening us all up.”

“So the rumors are true; we’re going to the Yavin base,” said Finn, sliding the food away.

Poe pulled a bunch of ration bars from his pocket, passing them amongst the three of them.

“Chocolate! Now this is the good stuff, Rey,” said Finn, tearing in to his bar. He had downed the whole thing before Rey had even peeled back the wrapper.

Poe was already half way through his. “This isn’t even real chocolate, but it’s better than whatever that was,” he said, pointing at the uneaten rations in front of him.

She sniffed it curiously, taking a tiny bite off one edge. Her eyes widened and the two men burst out laughing at whatever played across her face. “Kriff, that’s good!” she said, taking another, bigger bite.

The bar was dense from whatever provided protein, but the taste, well she didn’t even have words for the taste. It was sweet, much sweeter than anything she’d ever gotten her hands on, but there was something else. It reminded her of the nuts she’d once traded an old pump for.

She couldn’t contain the grin on her face as she finished the treat, half tempted to lick the remainder off the wrapper. When she looked up, she caught Poe watching her, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Well, that’s it for me,” said Poe, stretching his arms over his head. Rey heard his back pop audibly. “There’s a bunk with my name on it. See you guys tomorrow.”

He got up and walked toward the main bunks, leaving Rey and Finn at the table.

“I better go find Rosie,” said Finn, grabbing the trash as he got up. “She’s supposed to be resting. Night, Rey.”

“Night, Finn.”

Rey stayed at the table, trying to decide if she wanted to sleep or relieve Chewie in the cockpit. As she sat there, she had to admit the bacta on her side was already working, the ribs feeling better than they had in days. Poe had been right, she needed to take better care of herself. She was a part of something much bigger now, and they needed her at her best. She didn’t have to just survive anymore; she could live.

She headed to the master bunk, her decision made. Sleep first, then on to Yavin 4 and the new Rebellion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ended up being a bit of a transitional chapter, but stick around, things start to heat up next chapter.


	4. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance arrives on Yavin 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this chapter being gigantic (and I'm pretty sure the next one is even worse), but I was having way too much fun with this one.

The Millenium Falcon dropped out of hyperspace as they passed Yavin, orbiting the gas giant on route to Yavin 4. Poe stood behind Rey as she navigated toward the moon, grinning widely at the prospect of catching a glimpse of his home world. Rey thought his excitement was endearing. Leia, not so much. Rey couldn’t imagine herself ever being excited to go back to Jakku, though she supposed Jakku wasn’t home to her, not really.

They’d spent almost a full day in hyperspace, crossing the galaxy to get here. Rey had been in the cockpit with Chewie for most of that, taking turns sleeping and trying to keep the porglets from chewing the seats. She hadn’t seen Poe except for a few minutes yesterday; with their arrival on Yavin imminent, he’d been spending all his time with the rest of the Resistance command planning their next steps.

As they made their approach, Poe started bouncing on the balls of his feet, the anticipation apparently too much to contain. He was exciting the porglets, who had begun to run in little circles around his ankles, crooning loudly. Rey felt, rather than saw, Leia place a calming hand on his shoulder in an attempt to contain his enthusiasm.

Honestly, she couldn’t blame him. From space, the moon looked lovely: blue and green, with swirling white clouds in the atmosphere. When they broke atmo, Poe took off, Leia sighing as he left.

“I swear, it’s like having a toddler again when he gets like this,” she said, a hint of affection creeping into her voice. “I wouldn’t change him for the whole galaxy.”

Chewbacca let out a soft growl, the porglets running to their nest as if by command. Rey wondered when that had started.

She shook her head to clear it, focusing on the task at hand. Poe’s homeworld was stunning. The dense jungles reminded her of Takodana, but Poe had insisted that jungle and forest were two very different things when she’d asked him earlier.

She took the Falcon down, past the treeline, following the coordinates provided by BB-8. They passed several clearings and what appeared to be a village before finding the spot, a wide swath of cleared land in view of a sizable dwelling with several outbuildings.

They had no sooner touched the ground than Rey received an alert that the entry ramp had been lowered. Poe shot out from underneath the Falcon, BB-8 struggling to keep up on the uneven ground, jogging toward an older man with short, salt and pepper hair.

Rey watched through the transparisteel as the two men met in the field and embraced, their heights nearly identical. The older man, _Poe’s dad_ , her brain supplied, took a step back, cupping Poe’s face and holding him at arm’s length before pulling the younger man back into a hug. She looked away, focusing on her landing and shutdown procedures, when she realized both men were crying.

Once the Falcon was shut down, Rey got up and stretched, having been sitting for most of the last sixteen or eighteen hours.

“You coming, Chewie?” she asked, picking up her satchel and staff and walking toward the door to the cockpit.

He chuffed an affirmative, getting up and following Rey out the door.

The rest of their passengers were already off the ship, obviously eager for fresh air after being confined to the Falcon for three days.

Rey stepped off of the Falcon and into the sunshine and a hot, wet heat that instantly made her break out into a fine sweat. She stopped, letting her eyes adjust to the sun that hung low in the sky while Chewie headed toward the group, the five porglets following behind him in a straight line.

She laughed, walking to meet the gathered crowd.

“There she is,” Poe was saying to his father. He reached out, guiding Rey to a spot directly in front of his father.“Dad, this is Rey. Rey, Kes Dameron.”

The older man reached out and took her hand, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. Rey was glad for the bacta patch on her side working it’s magic over the past two days; she barely even winced.

“For saving my son’s life,” he said, letting her go after a second.

“Sorry, we’re huggers,” said Poe, blushing on behalf of his father. “And she saved the entire Resistance, Dad. Not just me.”

“Well, then thank you for saving the Resistance, but more importantly, my son.”

Poe rolled his eyes as his father went on.

“Let me get a look at you, Jedi. My son won’t shut up about the woman who is saving the galaxy one Resistance fighter at a time.”

Rey laughed at the look of abject horror on Poe’s face.

“Actually, I saved them all at once. And I’m not really a Jedi either, more like a Jedi dropout.” Both Poe and Kes laughed.

“Either way, make sure he takes you to meet our tree,” he said, turning his attention to the group at large. “Come, we’ve got food set up behind the house. You must be starving after three days on ship rations. We’ll figure out sleeping arrangements once we’re full.”

He turned his attention back to Rey, lowering his voice so it didn’t carry as far. “You’ll stay with Poe and me, un-Jedi, so don’t worry about a thing.”

Rey stood there for a second, watching as the rest of their little Resistance started toward the house. She fell in step just behind Poe and his father.

“No me dijiste que era tan guapa,” he said to Poe, as he lead the group to the other side of the house. _You didn’t tell me she was so beautifu_ l, Rey translated automatically in her head.

“¡Papá! ¿Por qué importa eso?” Poe shot back. _Dad! Why does that matter?_

His father laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Oh, estás en problemas, mijo. Buena suerte.” _Oh, you are in trouble, my son. Good luck._

Rey blushed at the implication of Kes’s words. They were obviously unaware she was listening to - and understanding - their conversation; why else would they have switched to the native tongue of the moon?

They were well ahead of her now; if she were to go and confess she’d have to catch up first. She figured it could wait as she caught up to Finn and Rose.

“There you are,” he said, mopping sweat off his face with his arm. “Gods, are we there yet?”

Both Finn and Rose had stripped off their heavy jackets, but their thick pants and heavy boots were much better suited for space travel than the jungle moon through which they were currently traipsing. Even Rey in her light, desert gear was slowly starting to melt in the heat.

“Keep an eye out for anything we can use for the bafflers,” said Rose, panting slightly. “We can use scrap to build the baffles and shunts, but we’ll definitely need a bunch of wiring, connectors, and couplings to get everything working together. The output connections might also need to be replaced on the hyperdrive, if they're as old as I think they are.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’re at least as old as you think they are,” said Rey. “I’ll keep an eye out for pieces and ask Kes if he has any scrap we can get our hands on.”

They were approaching side of the house when Kes came up beside her.

“Here un-Jedi, I’ll put your things in the house,” he said, taking her satcheland staff from her shoulder. She was about to object - she didn’t like having her things out of her sight - but resisted the urge. This wasn’t Jakku; Kes wasn’t going to steal her sleeping clothes or the pieces of Luke’s lightsaber she carried around and she most likely wouldn’t need to defend herself over dinner.

“Thank you, Mr. Dameron,” she said, smiling at the older man.

“Please, call me Kes, dear,” he said smiling back at her. He turned and headed toward a door on the side of the house, leaving Rey to continue around the back with the rest of the Resistance.

When they rounded the corner, Rey found herself in a maze of tables. There were some people waiting for them, villagers come to help the Resistance. Rey watched as the two groups started to mingle, Poe getting clapped on the back by at least five people, the native son back from the stars.

She spied Threepio and Artoo across the yard from her, Threepio talking animatedly to one of the villagers. Rey chuckled at the look on the person’s face, having been caught herself by the droid no less than three times since Crait.

Poe came up to her then, grinning as wide as she’d ever seen him. “Come on,” he said, grabbing her hand and gently dragging her towards the food, his thumb sliding over the inside of her wrist, hitting the spot where her brand stayed hidden. “Time to eat.”

She let herself be pulled along, stopping at a table set up with some sort of stew, the smell of which caused her stomach to growl audibly. Poe chuckled.

“Well, I take it you’re hungry,” he said, handing her a bowl from the stack next to the pot. He grabbed the ladle and dished her out a heaping portion of the thick soup, filling the bowl almost to the top.

“Poe, that’s too much,” she said, trying to hand the bowl back to him.

“Nonsense, there’s plenty to go around,” he said, refusing to take the bowl from her hands. “You don’t need to starve yourself here.”

She looked down, not wanting to have to explain this to him. Why was it always Poe who ended up with her confessions? She could get away with half truths with every other member of the Resistance, but somehow it always came down to her and Poe and the truth.

“No, I mean, I can’t eat all that. There’s,” she paused, trying to push down the humiliation blossoming from the pit of her stomach. To her horror, she could feel the prick of fresh tears in her eyes. “There’s not enough room. I’m not used to that much food at once, I’d be sick.”

She watched as the realization hit him, expecting pity and getting anger instead, his eyes darkening briefly before he smoothed out his face.

“Kriff, I’m sorry, Rey,” he said, finally taking the bowl from her. “I shouldn’t push you; you don’t owe me an explanation.” He grabbed a second bowl, filling it about half way and handed it over to her. “Is that ok?”

She nodded, not quite trusting her voice yet. She wasn’t sure what she had done to inspire Poe Dameron’s loyalty and friendship, but she was certainly glad for it.

He grabbed some bread for the two of them and headed back toward the tables. The sun was just starting to set, bathing the garden in soft orange light.

“This place is so beautiful,” she said, looking around at the flowers in bloom all around the yard. She picked an empty table and set her bowl down, Poe doing the same.

“It really is, isn’t it?” he said, taking in the scene around them. “I always forget how much I love it here until I come home.” He paused for a second. “I’ll grab some drinks.”

Alone, she took a first bite of the stew. She moaned out loud at how good it was, somehow even better than it smelled.

“Glad to hear you like it, un-Jedi,” said Kes with a chuckle. He sat down on her other side with his own bowl. “Simple fare, but hearty. I figured you guys could use it after spending three days wandering around space.”

Rey waited until she swallowed, having shoved another spoonful into her mouth almost immediately. “This is delicious, Kes. Thank you so much.”

He waved her off. “It’s nothing, just something small an old farmer can do to help the cause. Thanks, son,” he finished, taking the glass of bright pink juice Poe set in front of him.

***

Poe set down two more glasses, sliding one over to Rey. He was watching as she sniffed it curiously before taking a sip.

The look of pure joy on her face when the taste registered made both of the Dameron men chuckle. It only took Poe a second to remember why everything was so new to her.

His heart just about broke when she told him about the food. When would he learn to stop pushing her? Every time he did, it seemed he forced another revelation about how terrible her life had been before BB-8 and Finn had found her. Or she had found them. He knew she didn’t want his pity, so he found himself replacing it with anger. Anger at the parents who sold her. Anger at the kriffing junk boss who owned her. Anger at the other scavengers who allowed a child to be starved all the way into adulthood. Anger at the New Republic for being so ineffectual that this still went on in the galaxy.

If he had his way, he’d spend the rest of his life helping her taste every thing the galaxy had to offer. Unfortunately, they had a war to win.

Her question brought him back down to reality. “What is this?” she asked, eyes wide with a lingering grin.

“Koyo juice. Fresh squeezed,” responded Poe, taking a sip of his own glass. Gods, it was even better than he remembered.

“Just picked them this morning, in fact,” added Kes, finishing his stew. “We grow them here on the farm.”

Poe took a spoonful of the stew, not realizing how hungry he was until he started shoveling it, rapid fire, into his mouth. There really was nothing quite like his father’s cooking, and the rations on the Falcon could barely even be considered edible. He had survived the final day on ration bars alone.

He finished his bowl, setting his spoon on the table and leaning back a bit in his chair. When was the last time he had an actual meal? He hadn’t been this full in days, probably closer to a week, and his stomach was starting to rebel against the waist of his pants. He looked over at Rey, a similar look of discomfort marring her features.

“You ok there, Jedi?” he asked, lightly touching her wrist under the table. He prayed his father didn’t notice, but he just couldn’t help himself.

The sun had gone down in earnest now, and Yavin was bright in the night sky, illuminating Rey’s features in subtle light. She looked pale, so pale.

“I’m good, just a little tired,” she answered, stifling a yawn.

“That’s it, un-Jedi. Off to bed,” said Kes, gesturing at Poe. “Take her to your room; you can have the couch.”

“What about the guest room?” he asked, getting up from the table. Beside him, Rey did the same, unsuccessfully trying to hide another yawn.

“We can’t have the General sleeping on the couch, now can we?” replied Kes. He got up and started rounding up the dishes.

“I can stay on the couch,” offered Rey, helping Kes pile the bowls and glasses from a nearby table. “Poe shouldn’t have to give up his room.”

Poe snorted at the horrified look on Kes’s face. “Under no circumstances will you take the couch, un-Jedi, not unless you want the ghost of my wife to come back to teach me a lesson about how we treat guests in this house.”

It was so similar to something Poe had said to Rey on the first night on the Falcon, he did a double take. He wondered if they had always been this similar, or if it was his age creeping up on him. He was 32 now, a few years older than his parents were when they had him. Only a few years away from his mother’s age when she died. So much older than the young woman next to him.

“Here Dad,” he said, grabbing the dishes out of his father’s hands, “We’ll take these and you can make sure every one gets where they need to be for the night.”

Rey added a couple more bowls to her pile and followed him through the back door of the house.

“You can just leave them in the sink; I’ll get to them later,” he said, dropping his own pile into the basin in the kitchen.

“I can help you clean up, Poe,” said Rey. “I’m not even that tired.”

He would have believed her too, had she not swayed a bit on that line.

“Rey, when was the last time you slept for more than an hour?”

“I dunno, day before yesterday?”

“Come on,” he said, leading her through the kitchen, to the front room, and up the steps onto the second floor. He traced the familiar path to the end of the hall, the door to his room slightly ajar.

He went inside and flicked on the lights. Everything was as he left it. The place was practically a shrine to Poe Dameron: the Teenage Years.

Rey followed him in, fanning out to look around at all of the detritus of his youth. He watched as she started to explore the room, lingering around the shelves of holonovels and old text books, dragging her finger past the spines and silently mouthing the names.

She stopped in front of his guitar, leaning up against his old desk. She tentatively reached out a finger and plucked one of the strings.

Poe winced at the sound. “Oof, that is out of tune,” he said, looking at his neglected instrument.

She cocked her head at him. “Do you play?”

He was honestly a little surprised that she knew what it was. He couldn’t imagine they had much in the way of music on that junkyard of a planet.

She must have picked up on his surprise because she turned around, rolling her eyes at him. “I’ve seen a guitar before, Poe.”

“Sorry, I’m trying not to make any assumptions. But yes, I play,” he reached around her, grabbing the guitar and sitting on his bed. “Or at least, I used to play. I had this idea when I was younger that I was going to join the Navy and become some sort of a space troubadour, flying around the galaxy spreading peace and singing songs.”

She laughed, sitting down on the bed close enough for him to feel her warmth.

“And what happened to that?” she asked playfully.

He gave her a wry smile. “Life happened, I suppose. First, I realized that the Navy was not conducive to the troubadour lifestyle; the damn guitar wouldn’t even fit in an X-wing.” That earned him a laugh. “Then I defected to the Resistance and it seemed like there was always something more important going on.”

He plucked at the strings, trying to assess how much damage had been done during his years of abandonment. It wasn’t as bad as he expected, just a few adjustments to the pegs and he was happy with the sound. He experimentally played a couple of chords, making a final adjustment, and looked up to find Rey looking at him expectantly.

“Will you play something?” she asked quietly.

He wasn’t one to deny this woman anything, so he picked out a couple of chords, reacquainting himself with the instrument, before launching into a soft song his mother used to sing while she cooked. The first verse was a little shaky - gods he was rusty - but then he found his rhythm, losing himself in the familiar notes. By the time he finished and set down the guitar, he had forgotten Rey was even there sitting next to him.

“That was beautiful, Poe,” she said, gently placing a hand on his arm. She reached out toward his chest, picking up the ring that had once again come out from under his collar. “What’s this all about?”

“It’s my mother’s wedding ring,” he started, trying to find the right words without sounding like he was coming on to her. “She died when I was eight. I’m just keeping it safe until I can find the right person to share it with.”

Rey nodded, picking up the ring and tucking it back under his shirt. She then laid her hand on the ring over the fabric, where it had settled just over his heart.

He leaned in to the touch, looking up into her eyes and deciding that they looked green in the light. He reached up to cup her face as a single tear fell from her eyes, his thumb brushing it away.

He kept his hand on her face as he started moving impossibly closer to her, hesitating just shy of their lips touching.

“Poe!” came a voice from downstairs. “Let the Jedi sleep and come help me with these dishes.”

Poe snapped out of whatever madness had taken hold of him, jumping away from Rey as if shocked by BB-8’s prod.

“Coming, Dad,” he shouted out the open door, thanking every god he knew of that his father had stayed downstairs.

“So, uh, ‘fresher is right through there,” he said, pointing out a door on the far wall. “And there’s some extra clothes in the dresser. Actually, I’m gonna take some of those too.”

He opened a drawer, slamming it shut and choosing another when he found it full of underwear. In the next drawer, he found an old, soft shirt that would probably still fit, along with a pair sweats that had always been too big, which he shoved under his arm. He refused to make eye contact with the Jedi in his bed, instead focusing on a point on the wall behind her.

He had no clue what had come over him, what had possessed him to try and kiss the woman he’d barely known three days. She was so young, painfully so when coupled with the fact that she had such limited knowledge of the universe outside Jakku. He needed to get his shit together and leave the poor girl alone.

“Goodnight, Rey. Let us know if you need anything,” he said, walking out of the room.

He was already to the staircase when he heard the faint “Goodnight, Poe” in response.

***

Rey was going to kill Kes Dameron.

She liked the older man and was truly grateful he was sheltering both her and the Resistance, but his sense of timing left something to be desired.

She had been so certain that Poe was about to kiss her - his hand cradling her cheek, his face so close she could feel his breath on her lips - until Kes broke the spell. The look of horror on Poe’s face when he realized what he was about to do was quite frankly a little offensive.

She got up and closed the door to the room, wanting to block out the sounds of Kes and Poe speaking their beautiful, lilting language from wafting up the stairs. She realized belatedly that her bag and staff were both still downstairs.

Not wanting to face the Dameron men just yet, she walked over to Poe’s dresser, opening the top drawer. There were mostly fitted shorts, most likely undergarments, and a few pairs of looser shorts that looked perfect for sleeping. Grabbing the smallest pair she could find, she picked another drawer at random and grabbed a soft shirt before heading into the ‘fresher.

 _Now this is more like it_ , she thought surveying the shower. She turned one of the handles and water shot out of the faucet, freezing cold until she turned the other handle. Once she found a temperature she liked, she pulled up on a little handle and the water started raining from above. She giggled as it sprayed her hand; she couldn’t wait until she could get her entire body under it.

On Jakku, water had been so precious and so scarce she hadn’t initially believed that this was how people got clean. She couldn’t fathom why people would waste that much water. But as she stripped down and stepped under the stream, she was suddenly very on board with this whole shower business.

The hot water hit the sore muscles in her neck, loosening knots she didn’t even know were there. She quickly found the shampoo and washed her hair, massaging some of the tension out of her scalp. Once she soaped up and rinsed the rest of her body, she turned the water off with a sigh. As heavenly as it was, she still couldn’t bring herself to use more than absolutely necessary.

She grabbed the towels from the rack, using one to dry her hair and another to wrap around the rest of her. Even in her short time in the shower, the mirror had fogged over, leaving streaks on the glass. She used her hand to wipe a line clean, trying to look at her reflection. She didn’t think she had ever been so clean; she could definitely get used to this.

She finished drying off, stepping in to the shorts and shirt and hanging the towels back up.

Walking back into the main room, she shivered, the drop in temperature from the ‘fresher raising bumps on her skin. She practically ran to the bed, diving under the covers to keep the warmth of the shower from leaching off her body.The bed hugged her body as she sank into the mattress, a sigh escaping her lips as the aches of the day disappeared.

***

Poe took the steps at a pace he normally reserved for when the First Order was chasing him, dropping the clothes on the couch on his way to the kitchen. His father was humming to himself as he scrubbed a bowl, a tune he recognized as just having played for Rey upstairs.

Kes turned around, a twinkle in his eye, and handed Poe a bowl and a towel. They worked in silence for a minute, Kes washing and Poe drying.

“Set aside the red ones,” Kes said in Yavinese. “I’ll take them back to old man Dix tomorrow.”

Poe nodded, lost in thought.

“So the Jedi,” Kes continued when it became apparent Poe wasn’t going to speak on his own. “You could do worse. In fact, you have done worse.”

Poe laughed at that, taking another dripping bowl from his father’s hands. “Nothing happened. And nothing will happen. She’s off limits.”

“Why?” his father asked, handing over another bowl. “Your mother and I said the same thing when we started circling each other. We had every excuse in the book: it wasn’t the right time, we were at war, she was a pilot and I was a pathfinder. Then you came along and we had to stop kidding ourselves.” 

“Well, first, she’s a Jedi, so I’m pretty sure all of _that_ is forbidden,” he said, blushing. This was definitely not a conversation he wanted to be having with his own father. “And she’s too young for me; I could practically be her father.”

His dad chuckled, “You may have started early, but I don’t think you started that early, son.” Poe blushed deeper. “She is an adult, you should let her decide what she wants to do.”

“But she’s so innocent, Dad. I don’t want to corrupt her.”

“Don’t be condescending, Poe. Your mother and I raised you better than that. She knows her own mind.”

“You don’t think I’d be taking advantage of her?”

“That’s what you’re worried about? I think our little Jedi is more than capable of making that decision for herself. And if you don’t respect that decision, she’s also more than capable of kicking your ass into next week,” he paused, thoughtful for a moment. “From what I know of Jakku and scavengers, she probably didn’t get to make a lot of choices for herself. Let her choose whether or not to pursue it; don’t make the choice for her.

“But it’s not me you should be having this conversation with. Talk to her.”

Poe nodded, seeing the wisdom in Kes’s words. The last thing he wanted to do was take away another choice from her.

“I’ve seen how you two look at each other,” added Kes. “It’s inevitable. Have the conversation.”

“Thanks, Dad,” said Poe, drying the last bowl and stacking it with the rest.

“That’s what I’m here for, son.”

***

Rey found herself sitting straight up in bed, dripping sweat and gasping for breath.

She’d been plagued by the bad dreams since she came back from the Supremacy, spending the nights only half sleeping to keep them at bay. It was how she knew Poe was having one back on the Falcon; her own nightmare had already woken her up.

She took a deep, steadying breath, trying to stop her heart from beating out of her chest. It was substantially the same dream every night - her body suspended over the floor of the throne room, Snoke ripping through her mind as she screamed in agony - the only difference being what vital information Snoke tore from her consciousness on each occasion. Tonight’s particular horror was the location of the last of the Resistance. He got the info, as he always did, and made her watch as he obliterated the blue and green moon on which she was currently sleeping.

Two more breaths, in and out, and she had some semblance of control over her pulse. She looked over at the chronometer on the stand next to Poe’s bed, finding that she’d only made it two hours this time. Out of the corner of her eye, she swore she saw a dark figure in the corner of the room, but when she looked over, the space was empty.

She got up and went into the ‘fresher, refusing to turn her back on that one particular corner of the room. She looked around for a cup, thinking water would help, only to come up empty handed. She sighed, wondering how this night could get any worse.

Her answer was at the bottom of the steps. Poe sat sprawled on the couch, still awake, watching some holovid on the screen in front of him.

“Hey, what are you doing up?” he asked, all smiles now. Weird.

“Water,” she replied, walking around the couch and into the kitchen. She tried three cabinets, finally finding a glass and filling it from the tap.

She was halfway to the steps, glass in hand, when Poe spoke.

“Have a seat. Insomniacs unite.”

She rolled her eyes, but changed course anyway, sitting down next to him on the couch.

“Well, aren’t you just a Rey of sunshine,” he chuckled at this own joke. “Get it, _Rey_ of sunshine.”

She groaned, “It is way too early in the morning for puns, Dameron. Or way too late, I’m not really sure at this point.”

“Come on, you love it, Sunshine,” he said, nudging her shoulder with his own.

“Oh Gods, is that going to stick?”

“Oh, it’s totally gonna to stick.”

She laughed and stuck out her tongue at him.

“Very mature, Jedi Master,” he laughed at her.

She smiled at him, glad he was over whatever sent him running out of the room last night. She took another sip of water.

“What has you so happy, flyboy?”

“I used to watch this show when I was a kid,” he said, pointing to the screen in front of them. “It’s about this space smuggler and his dog flying around the galaxy on their ship. And I’m sitting here watching it now and it dawns on me: this is based off Han Solo.”

Rey bursted out laughing. “No way. There is no way this is about Han.”

“Hear me out,” he said, really getting into it. “The ship’s name is the Epoch Eagle. I mean, they weren’t even _trying_ to be clever.”

“I think any one who’d ever met Chewie would think twice about calling him Han’s dog,” she said.

“Hey, I didn’t say it was politically correct; I just said it was based off his life.”

They both turned their attention to the screen, watching as the dashing smuggler flirted his way through a cantina.

“Han Solo was in no way this smooth,” said Rey, pointing to the screen. “He just made it up as he went along.”

“And he looked good doing it,” replied Poe, eyebrow raised. Rey blushed.

“Wait, did he just say ‘Never tell me the odds’?” asked Rey, squinting at the screen.

“Yup.”

“Kriff, this is about Han Solo.”

He laughed at her late realization, putting his arm around her and turning back to see how the fake Solo got himself out of this one.

She leaned in to his side, letting herself get caught up in the action. They sat watching in silence, as a quiet sadness slowly permeated the air from the knowledge of how the actual story ended.

 

The sun was shining through the windows when Rey opened her eyes, the smell of fresh caf hitting her nose. She started when she found the source of the smell: two cups held out by Kes.

Her movement woke Poe, whose arms were still wrapped around her where she laid on his chest, both stretched out the length of the couch. She scrambled to a sitting position, acutely aware of Poe’s father watching them with a knowing smile on his face.

“Cream and sugar,” he said, handing her the mug in his right hand. “I had to guess. And black for you, mijo,”

Poe took the cup from his left hand, taking a healthy sip and sighing gratefully. Rey took a sip of her own caf, pleased with the balance of bitter and sweet.

“Veo que tomaste mi consejo,” spoke Kes in rapid Yavinese.

“No pasó nada,” Poe replied, taking another sip.

“Nos quedamos dormidos viendo un espectáculo,” added Rey, trying to mirror Poe’s calm demeanor.

Both men stopped dead, staring at her in disbelief. Oh kriff, she said that in basic, right?

“You speak Yavinese?” asked Poe, a look of horror slowly crossing his face. Guess not.

“I mean, a little?” she finished on a question. Both men continued to look at her in astonishment. “Ok, yes I speak it. Though technically I learned it as Festian. There are like 20 planets that speak this language.”

Kes shook his head, laughing. “You continue to surprise, un-Jedi. Get dressed you two, before the General comes downstairs. We’re going to get a look at that base this morning.”


	5. Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The old Rebel Base on Yavin 4 is explored and Rey gets a promotion. Poe introduces Rey to the Force tree as their relationship grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this early because I have zero self control. Let me know what you think!

They met the group in town to go assess the base. Even with the sun barely up, Rey was already sweating into her new clothes after the five minute walk from Kes’s. This humidity was no joke.

Poe had insisted she take two bottles of water, but she wasn’t sure how she could dehydrate when the air itself felt wet. Finn and Rose walked a little ahead, holding hands when they thought no one was looking. She even caught Finn place a quick kiss on Rose’s lips when the rest of the group went to look at an especially purple Massassi tree.

Of the four Yavinese come to help, three were men roughly Poe’s age, all farmers, and one was a grey-haired older woman who wore her Commander’s badge from the Rebel Alliance proudly on her shirt. She and Leia apparently had a lot to catch up on as they traipsed through the jungle, talking nonstop.

Poe was directly to her left talking to one of the farmers and Kes. He was clean-shaven for first time since she’d met him, the skin underneath the growth pink and fresh-looking in the morning light. Rey was bringing up the rear, sweating and cursing in turn.

Even in her discomfort, she could admit that the moon was beautiful. They walked through jungle densely populated with purple-barked trees, blooms of pink and blue flowers creeping up the trunks. She tried to listen carefully for woolamander calls, Kes having told her about the native species while they drank caf this morning. They were supposedly very friendly.

After a solid five minutes of wandering through the trees, a huge pile of rubble rose out of the jungle floor before them. The area had obviously been cleared at some point, probably as a landing strip, but in the years since the rebellion, the flora had started to reclaim the land. Grass grew up to Rey’s knees in places, making it difficult to see whatever was scurrying under her feet, and small trees were popping up here and there.

There were three more destroyed temples hidden among the trees, along with two hidden beneath the tree line that the First Order missed.

Leia stopped at a spot between two fallen structures, letting the rest of the party go on to find the great temple.

“I stood right there,” she said, pointing at a space between two rock formations. Rey tried to imagine the rubble as something more, something beautiful. “And presented Luke and Han with medals in front of the entire Rebel Alliance. We were all so young, so naive, even the veterans. We patted ourselves on the back like we had won the war, not just the very first battle. Talk about hubris, we changed the entire godsdamned calendar to reflect how pleased we were with ourselves.” She shook her head. “Now, everything is either before or after this place. Let’s see what’s left.”

Leia and Rey started over to where the rest of the group had gathered in front of a large metal door partially covered by debris.

Kes and Poe were up front, both men with hands on hips as they listened to the grey-haired woman. She watched as they both nodded along to whatever the woman was telling them, gestures almost identical. They’d only been here a day, but she could see so much of the men in each other it was almost scary. Mannerisms and quirks that she thought were uniquely Poe’s had obviously been borrowed and translated from Kes. She wondered what it would be like to be so shaped by another person, rather than the things that had happened to you.

BB-8 was gently tapping Poe’s leg to get his attention. Poe looked up, seeing the two women approaching the group. Rey had thought he was animated on the Falcon, but here on his home world, among his family and friends, his face had come _alive_. There was a spark in him that Rey had only guessed at previously, something that burned more brightly since his boots had hit the ground here.

“Ladies, there you are,” said Kes, motioning them forward. “Come join us. We’re trying to figure out how best to get at that door.”

Leia moved to go join Kes, while Rey ended up standing shoulder to shoulder with Poe and Finn. Poe leaned over, nudging her with his shoulder.

“Hey, aren’t rocks kind of your thing,” he asked, playfully.

She smiled at him, slightly embarrassed when she noticed Rose watching them. “Rocks, maybe. Boulders are a whole different animal.”

They both turned their attention to the ongoing conversation.

“…depends on whether or not we want the blast door intact,” Leia was saying. “If that answer is no, then we can just use the cannons on the Falcon.”

“But that could trigger a rockslide or a full collapse,” said Poe. “We have no clue what we’re dealing with inside that hangar.”

One of the villagers chimed in. “Poe’s right, blasting through could do more damage. Plus, I’m not sure we have the supplies to fix the blast door.”

“What about speeders?” suggested another villager. “We could gather speeders from the village and drag all of the stone away.”

“Then send BB-8 in to check the structural integrity and map it for us,” added Poe. The droid beeped in assent.

“Ok, are we all in agreement?” Kes paused for confirmation. “Good. Ponda, Bast, Poe, you’re with me. We’ll go get the speeders.The rest of you can start shifting the smaller rocks and debris so we can get at the big ones.”

“Leia and Kit, you’re in charge,” he said with a wink to the two women.

The groups split up, Kes and Poe leading their crew back toward the village.

Rey and the others started the tedious, dirty work of clearing the smaller rocks. Less than five minutes in, Rey had nearly sweat through her tunic. She paused, leaning against the temple, and took a long drink from one of her bottles.

“And now I see where Poe gets it,” said Rose, coming up beside Rey with a sizable stone in her arms. “That man is charming as hell. He could command me any day.”

Rey realized with a jolt that she was referring to the older and not the younger Dameron. “Rose! That man’s older than both of us put together,” said Rey. “And he’s Poe’s father.”

“I stand by what I said.”

Finn approached from behind. “What are you guys talking about?”

“I’m trying to get Rey to use her Jedi mind tricks on these rocks,” lied Rose smoothly. Rey snorted, deciding to play along.

“That’s not how the Force works,” she said.

But Finn wasn’t going to let it go. “Come on, Rey. Help us out.”

Rey laughed at him, hauling another rock over to the pile. It probably would be easier if she just moved these smaller ones. They weren’t any bigger than what she moved on Crait.

“Ok, ok,” she said, rolling her eyes. She went to stand directly in front of the blast doors, while Rose and Finn cleared the workers.

Rey’s stomach churned nervously at the prospect of an audience but she cleared her mind, focusing on the Force the way Luke had taught her in her first lesson. Then she reached out, both with her mind and her hand; she didn’t care what Luke said, the hand definitely helped.

The sounds around her faded away, the chattering birds in the trees, the distant calls of the woolamanders, even the sounds of the people working around the temple. She felt nothing but the Force around her, almost overwhelming in its complexity. _So much life in this jungle,_ she thought to herself, pulling from all that energy as she focused on the rocks in front of her.

“Kriffing hells”

The oath came from right beside her, her eyes popping open in confusion.

The rocks were floating a few feet off the ground directly in front of her. All of the rocks: the boulders Kes had planned to drag with speeders, the smaller pieces they were planning to take away by hand, and even the chunks on top they weren’t planning to move at all. With less than a thought, she flicked them to the side, dropping them neatly in the pile they had started earlier.

She slowly put her arm down, wary of the how her gathered audience would react.

She looked to her left, toward the source of the voice, finding Poe staring at her, mouth slightly open and eyes wide. He was projecting his feelings in the Force, a mix of awe and childish excitement tinged with just a trace of fear. She tried not to read too deeply into it.

“Gods, I was just kidding earlier,” he said.

Rey could feel her skin flush, embarrassed by the show of her abilities. Her raw talent had scared Luke and he had faced Darth Vader; she couldn’t imagine what was going through the minds of the people around her, even as she felt some of their reactions.

“Oh, good luck, son,” said Kes, clapping a hand on Poe’s shoulder and laughing to himself. He continued walking toward the door, turning around briefly to address Rey. “And you are back to Jedi, miss. Jedi dropout my ass.”

Rose walked up to her. “Show off,” she said with a smirk and continued walking toward Kes.

Finn didn’t even stop, just shouted his thanks as he ran to catch up with Rose.

It seemed like Poe was the only one gobsmacked by her display. He was still staring at her in awe, the look in his eye reminding her of when he almost kissed her the other night.

“Come on, flyboy. Let’s see how BB-8 is getting on,” she said, grabbing his hand and having to practically drag him to where the rest of the group had gathered around the BB unit.

Rey joined the group, standing next to Leia as they watched BeeBee interface with whatever was left of the base via an access panel. No one was really sure what shape the systems were in, but BeeBee gave quick updates whenever another network was brought online.

“That was impressive, Rey,” whispered Leia to her right. Rey looked over at her. “I’m glad the trip to Ahch-To was worth it.”

Rey shrugged noncommittally. She hasn’t told anyone, especially Leia, what a disaster that trip to Ahch-To had been. How Luke had spent half her time there ignoring her and refusing to train her, finally agreeing to three lessons and only making it through two of them before she stormed off the island.

While she had stolen the ancient texts from Ahch-To, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything with them. After her conversation with Snoke and the battle with Kylo, Rey was pretty sure Luke was right: the Jedi needed to end. She would need to find her own way to use the Force, if she decided to use it at all. That was a conversation she was not looking forward to having with Leia.

The droid let out a high trill and the blast door started to rise, creaking and screaming on its way up. About halfway there it stopped, letting out a loud groan.

“You ready, buddy,” asked Poe, reaching down to give the droid a scratch. Rey watched the interaction fondly; she always got a kick out of watching Poe dote on the astromech.

BB-8 gave an affirmative in binary and rolled into the abandoned base, beeping happily to itself.

They stood around looking at each other for a minute, unsure of what to do, until Kes took charge.

“Might as well break for lunch,” he announced, looking around at the group. “Who has the bag? Kit?”

The older woman nodded, dropping the tote to the ground. “Yup, right here, Kes.”

They gathered around as Kit passed out sandwiches with some kind of nut spread, Rey taking one and heading over to where Rose and Finn were sitting under a tree.

She sat down, crossing her legs and unwrapping the sandwich. Finn was already halfway through his, his mouth full as he spoke. “Just wait til you try this.”

Rey took a bite, noting the smooth texture of the spread, a mixture of salty and sweet that she wasn’t completely sold on. The bread stuck to the roof of her mouth as she chewed, making it sticky and difficult to swallow. She reached for one of her bottles of water, desperately trying to get the food down before she gagged.

“Uh, oh,” said Poe, plopping down next to her as she coughed and sputtered, trying to swallow. He patted her back until the coughing subsided. “I think we can put nut butter sandwiches firmly in the dislike column.”

Rey looked up, her eyes watering from the effort of trying to keep the food down. “It’s like eating paste,” she said, her voice thick.

Poe chuckled, taking a bite of his own sandwich.

“Well, I’m gonna go see if there are any extras,” said Finn, finishing off his last bite, and picking himself off the ground.

“Me, too!” said Rose, extending her arms to be helped up by Finn.

Rey watched as they walked back toward the main group in search of more food. Unsure of what to do with the rest of her sandwich, she set it on her lap.

Poe was watching her as he finished the rest of his own sandwich. Swallowing the final bite, he gestured to the sandwich on her lap. “I’ll finish that if you don’t want it.”

“All yours,” she replied, handing him the uneaten sandwich.

“Hey, can I show you something tonight?” he asked, looking a little nervous as he accepted the sandwich.

She took another sip of water, still trying to purge the feeling of the nut butter from her mouth. “Sure. What is it?”

He smiled, taking a bite of her sandwich. “It’s a surprise,” he said, his mouth full.

She laughed and shook her head at him as Finn and Rose returned. Finn set a bowl of cut up fruit in front of Rey before sitting back down under the tree.

“Koyo,” explained Finn, as he dug into his second sandwich.

“Thank you, Finn,” said Rey, truly touched by the kindness of her friend. It was still so new and strange for her: friendship. This idea that other people cared for you and your well-being. Growing up, people only cared what she could do for them, how they could profit off of her.

“We’re not gonna let you starve, Rey,” said Finn, shaking his head like it was no big deal. Like she hadn’t spent her whole life with people who would do just that.

“Never,” added Poe, nudging her with his shoulder.

She looked down, slightly embarrassed, and helped herself to some of the fresh koyo. It was even better than the juice from last night, the fruit still cool from the refrigeration unit as she bit into it. She was hungry again, a feeling that seemed to build on itself the more regularly she ate, though she still had trouble keeping large quantities down.

She ate a few more pieces before passing the bowl around to the rest of her friends. As the fruit made its way back to her, a tone issued from Poe’s comm.

“Come on, guys. BeeBee found something,” said Poe, getting up with a soft grunt. He and Finn headed back over to the hangar, while Rey and Rose followed slightly behind, stopping to drop the bowl off with Kit.

“Chewie and I are going to start working on the power conversion tonight, if you want to help,” said Rose as they walked toward the open door and the gathering crowd.

Rey was thrilled that Chewie and Rose had taken to each other, something that couldn’t be said about every one the wookiee met. She thought it had something to do with the unflagging adoration Rose showed the Falcon, no matter how many times the old girl nearly broke apart in hyperspace, killing them all.

“I’d love to, but Poe wants to show me something tonight. A surprise.”

“Oh, I’m sure he does.” Rose wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, making Rey laugh. “You should see Kalonia about getting the implant. You know, just in case.”

Rey blushed at the implication. “I’m already set. Standard procedure on Jakku once you turn 16. Unkar was very particular about guarding his investments.”

Rose stopped dead in her tracks. “What?”

Rey, realizing Rose was no longer in step with her, turned around and doubled back to where the mechanic stood.

“Babies meant you weren’t scavenging, and if you weren’t scavenging, you weren’t making him money, so Unkar made all of his scavengers get the implant when we came of age,” she explained, watching as a look of horror crossed Rose’s face.

“Oh, Rey,” said Rose, wrapping Rey into a bone crunching hug. It dawned on Rey that maybe it wasn’t standard procedure elsewhere in the galaxy. That maybe others had a choice. And that maybe she should keep her mouth shut about her past.

“Just be careful with him, ok?” said Rose, letting her go.

They made it to the crowd gathered around the blast doors, BB-8 holding court in the center while Poe kneeled in front of him, listening intently. Rey caught the tail end of the rapid binary, something about X-wings for Master Poe.

Poe laughed. “Thanks, buddy.” He turned to the larger group, getting to his feet. “BeeBee says that the first floor is structurally sound and so are the two floors below it. Second floor is partially caved in and unusable. Ground level is the old hangar and command center, lower levels are all barracks and private quarters. Mess was on the second floor, so we’ll need to figure out something there.”

He paused for a second, his face barely able to contain a grin.

“Oh, and there are X-wings,” he said. “Fourteen of ‘em.”

Leia smiled indulgently at him. “Lead the way, Commander.”

He split them into groups inside the hangar, Rey being assigned to the crew evaluating the old T-65s under the direction of Rose.

They spent the next couple hours dividing the fighters into “salvageable” and “scrap,” Rey using the Force to lift and group them together, ignoring the flickering shadows she kept catching just out of her her line of sight. It was an old base, probably just a lighting issue.

“Poe,” shouted Rose from one end of the hangar. “You’re going to want to see this.”

Rey watched as Poe walked over, her own curiosity getting the better of her when he let out a whoop of joy.

Poe was halfway up the ladder to the cockpit when Rey made it over to the bird, Rose laughing at him from the ground.

“Look at all of these mods!” he shouted, climbing in to the seat. “Is this one salvageable, Rose? Please tell me this one is salvageable.”

“It’s salvageable, Dameron,” she said, walking around the X-wing with an appraising eye. “In fact, I think this one may start up without any major work.”

Poe smiled down at them like he took that as a personal challenge. “All clear!”

Rey and Rose scrambled back from the ancient fighter, checking to make sure that the rest of the crew was out of the line of fire.

“Clear!” shouted Rose, giving Poe a thumbs up.

The X-wing stuttered as Poe hit the ignition, the engines failing to ignite. He tried a second time, the engines clamoring to life for a second before dying back out. Rey saw Finn enter the hangar out of the corner of her eye, Kit and Leia following behind him.

“Rose!” Poe yelled from the cockpit.

“Hey, I said it _may_ start up, not that it _would_ start up! Try it one more time!”

Rey held her breath as Poe flipped a couple switches in the cockpit, hitting the ignition one last time.

The X-wing roared to life, the sound echoing throughout the hangar. Though the engines sputtered a little, it was nothing Rey couldn’t fix.

Poe was looking down at them - well, her - with a look of pure ecstasy on his face, the joy bleeding out in to the rest of the hangar as more people joined them, drawn by the noise. He grabbed the stick and took her a few feet off the ground to the cheers of the group gathered.

He set the bird back down, running through an abbreviated shutdown procedure before jumping out of the cockpit to another cheer from the small crowd.

Everyone was hugging and patting each other on the back; it was only one ship, but it felt like a victory in a week of heavy losses. Poe joined them on the ground, getting applauded like he had just single handedly shot down the Death Star, not taken an X-wing two feet off the ground.

And yet, seeing the look of pure joy on Poe’s face, she couldn’t find it in herself to begrudge him either the win or the hug he wrapped her in, lifting her from her feet and spinning her around. She caught the shadow again, this time much closer, a flash of a face and dark hair as she was spun around. By the time he set her down, Rey was laughing, infected by Poe’s glee, all thoughts of that familiar face out of her mind.

“All right, Commander. Let’s save some of that for when we win the war,” said Leia with that knowing smirk. “If I remember correctly, we’re gonna need to get out of here soon if we want to miss the afternoon rain.”

People started exiting the hangar, heading toward the village. Rey was helping Rose and Poe clean up when Leia pulled her aside.

“Rey, we’re having a command meeting tomorrow at Kes’s. I’d like you to join us.”

Rey was shocked, sputtering out the first thing that popped into her head. “Why?”

Leia chuckled. “Well, that’s not a reaction I normally get to handing out a promotion.”

Rey blushed. “I mean, why me? I’ve only been with the Resistance a week.”

“And how many times have you saved us in that week? Anyway, young Jedi were traditionally given the role of Commander in the Republic during times of war, which earns you a seat at the table. If you accept.”

“Of course, General. But,” Rey paused, wondering how to put it. “I’m not actually a Jedi. Luke never trained me.”

“You’re still learning. Which is why you’re a Commander and not a General,” Leia laughed. “At this point, if you’re Force sensitive and on our side, you’re a Jedi. I’ll see you at 0800.”

With that Leia walked out toward Kes, who was waiting for her at the edge of the clearing.

“What was that all about?” asked Poe, coming up behind her with a toolkit in his hand. Rose followed, wiping her hands on an old rag.

“The General asked me to join the command meeting tomorrow. Apparently, I’m a Commander?” she ended on a question.

“Nice,” said Rose, heading for the exit. Rey and Poe followed her out under the darkening sky. 

 

The storm seemed to appear out of thin air; one minute there was sun, the next the heavens had opened up, soaking them in seconds. They had dropped Rose off in the village first, making it to the edge of the Dameron Koyo fields before the rain started. Poe took off at the first drops of rain, reaching back to grab Rey’s hand and pull her towards the farm.

Puddles formed as they ran, their feet splashing up mud as they ran through the fields. The rain was so warm, nothing like the storms on Ahch-To that had sent Rey shivering into a hut on more than one occasion. Rey took her hand back from Poe, stopping in front of the Falcon. She looked up toward the sky and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the water as it slid across her face and down her neck.

“Come on! We’re getting soaked,” shouted Poe over the sound of the rain. It was truly thunderous as it hit the hull of the Falcon, drowning out all other sounds.

“We’re already soaked!” she shouted back, laughing as she spun around, palms up and outstretched to the sky. She would never get used to this miracle of water and sky; she flat out refused. Even if it happened every single day like Kes and Poe claimed.

Rey watched in wonder as lightning forked across the dark clouds, lighting up the entire sky for a split second. Poe grabbed her forearm and dragged her under the cover of the Falcon. She was completely unprepared for the thunder that followed five seconds later, a deep boom that shook the ground beneath her feet.

She squeaked, reaching out for Poe’s arm.

“It’s just thunder,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his warmth. “It’s the lightning you gotta watch out for.”

“I didn’t expect it to be this beautiful,” she said, watching in awe as another bolt shot across the sky. She reached her hand out from under the Falcon, letting the water slip through her fingers.

“You know, we could have watched this from the house,” he said, as she jumped again from the thunder. It sounded closer this time.

“No, this is better,” she said, smiling at him. He laughed and shook his head at her.

“Well it’s about to be a lot closer, so hold on.”

She looked at him. “How do you know?”

“When we were kids, we used to count between the thunder and lightning. One-onethousand for every mile.”

It didn’t sound very scientific, but Rey was willing to try. Lightning lit up the sky again, Poe counting “One-onethousand, two-onethousand, three-one-”

Thunder shook the ground again. Three miles.

“We should make a run for it before it’s right above us and we’re standing under a large, metal ship,” he said.

She saw the logic in that, nodding in agreement.

“As soon as we see the next lightning strike, we go,” he said, grabbing her hand again. She squeezed once in agreement.

“GO!” Poe shouted as next bolt ripped across the sky. They took off, only making it two-onethousands before the clap of thunder shook the ground. It was a quick sprint across the yard, but both Rey and Poe were breathless and laughing by the time they made it to the front porch.

Rey looked over at her friend, his curls matted to his head and dripping water while he smiled down at her, and realized that she finally understood what the Resistance was about. Not taking down the First Order - though that was important - but protecting the people and the places and the things that they cared about.

Another bolt of lightning shot through the clouds at the exact same time a massive roar of thunder shook the house behind them, both Rey and Poe jumping at the sound.

They both laughed and Poe began to shake his hair out like a dog.

“Hey, you’re getting that all over me,” she yelled, putting her hand up to block the spray.

The door opened behind them, revealing a dry Kes.

“I was wondering when you two were going to make a break for it,” he said, tossing a couple of towels out to them. Rey took hers gratefully, wiping the water from her face and hair.

“Perfect timing too,” said Poe dryly, looking out at the rapidly lightening sky. It was barely even drizzling anymore.

“Good, stay out here in the sun until you dry off. Dinner’s at 1800.”

***

Poe took the stairs two at a time after dinner, pausing outside the open door at the end of the hall to knock on the frame.

“You ready, Sunshine?” he asked, leaning into the room.

Rey was standing in the middle of the room with her back to him, her hands raised above her head as she put her hair into it’s third and final bun. She turned around, hands still raised, to smile at him, her shirt riding up and exposing an inch of skin above her waistband. His breath caught.

“Just about,” she replied cheerily, lowering her hands and reaching for her boots.

He leaned against the doorjamb, watching as she sat on the floor to slide on her boots.

He thought back to what Rose had said to him earlier, cornering him while Leia spoke to Rey in the hangar.

_“Hey, Dameron,” she snapped, that look in her eye that always made Poe nervous. Rose Tico was not someone to cross._

_“Hey, Rose,” he replied, wary of her tone._

_“Listen to me, flyboy, you better not hurt her,” she said, pointing a finger at his chest._

_He flushed. She was obviously talking about Rey, but he had no idea where this was coming from. Had Rey said something to her?_

_He decided to play dumb. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”_

_She was not about to put up with his crap. “You and Rey. Any one can see there’s something going on there. I’m just warning you: don’t mess around with her. She deserves better than that.”_

_“It’s not like that, Rose. We’re friends-”_

_“Yeah and I know what happens between you and your friends, Dameron.”_

_It dawned on him all at once. This wasn’t only about Rey; this was about Paige._

_“Rose, Paige and I were very clear with each other from the beginning; and for the record, Paige broke it off when she realized she wanted something I couldn’t give her,” he said, putting up his hands in supplication. He knew it didn’t paint him in the best light, but it was the truth._

_That seemed to appease the tiny mechanic in front of him, at least enough that he no longer actively feared for his life._

_“Just be careful with her, ok?” she said softly._

_“I promise.”_

Rey brought him back to the present with a cheerful “Ready!” as she brushed past him and headed into the hallway.

 

They made it to the clearing just as the sun began to set. Poe looked over at Rey’s face as they approached, comprehension dawning as the soft glow illuminated her features.

“Is that…” she said, a look of wonder on her face.

“A Force tree,” he finished for her, watching as she approached the tree, hand outstretched. There was no hesitation as she placed her palm flat on the trunk, closing her eyes and taking several deep breaths.

He could feel something happening in the air around them when she made contact, the tree encompassing her in its glow. All the sounds of the jungle quieted, enveloping them in silence so thick all he could hear was his own heartbeat and the sound of her breathing.

Right before he started to truly panic, he reached out to Rey and placed a hand on her shoulder, not sure if he was trying to ground himself or break her contact with the tree. As skin touched skin, he felt a wave of warmth and peace wash over him, same as when he used to spend his days climbing in the uneti tree’s branches, as images danced in front of his vision.

_A man and a woman planting the small twig of the force tree, embracing a child as the tree took to the soil; a tiny boy climbing the branches, dreaming of the stars until the woman pulled him from the boughs; the same boy, a little older now, crying as his heart broke in two; a young man, gently tending to the fire-damaged tree, trying to fix his mistakes; a grown man reaching out to touch the shoulder of a woman while she dreamed of a new order; the same man, a little grayer this time, with a curly-headed child in his arms, reaching out to someone just outside his vision…_

The sounds of the jungle came rushing back to his ears as the vision abruptly cut off, leaving him out of breath as he watched Rey lower her hand in front of him. He dropped his own hand from her shoulder.

What the fuck was that all about? He recognized some of it, obviously pieces of his past and present, but that last part…

Had he just seen his future?

They turned to each other, both panting from whatever the tree had just shown them. Had she seen the same thing he did?

When she looked over at him, there were tears in hers eyes.

“Poe,” she said, her voice shaky. “Thank you.” She closed the gap between them, pulling him into a hug.

“For what, Sunshine?” he asked, unsure of what he had done to deserve this particular reaction. Not that he was complaining.

She released him, looking back at the tree, her eyes shifting uneasily to an empty space in the clearing before focusing back on him.

“Between the way I had left things with Luke and then the mess with Kylo and Snoke, I was starting to think I didn’t want anything to do with the Force. That I could cut myself off from it and help the Resistance in other ways, normal ways that didn’t involve the will of the Force and the battle between dark and light. That maybe Luke was right and it was time for the Jedi to end.

“But when I touched the tree, it showed me the possibility of a different path. Neither dark nor light, but balanced between the two. Poe, I think I can do this. I think this is the way for me.”

“I never doubted you, Rey,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief. She obviously had seen something different.

“Well, that makes one of us,” she said, laughter in her voice. She sounded lighter than she had the entire time he’d known her, like she’d been weighed down by the Force itself until she made this decision.

He caught a flicker of light out of the corner of his eye, and smiled. She was going to love this.

“Rey, turn around,” he said, smiling at the Jedi.

She gave him an odd look but did as he said, her breath catching as she took in the scene.

All around them, the jungle glowed in clumps of pink and blue and purple, the glimmering orchids clustered around the base of the massassi trees.

Rey turned toward him, a look of child-like wonder lighting up her face.

“Poe, it’s so beautiful.”

He looked around at the jungle, taking in the view that he had taken for granted practically since birth. Rey chose that moment to wrap an arm around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. He put an arm around her shoulders and gently tugged her even closer.

“It really is, isn’t it?” he said, thinking about how right this felt with Rey in his arms. “You know, growing up, I always thought my parents were crazy for trading in the whole galaxy for a small farm on a distant jungle moon. I couldn’t wait to get off this rock, to live my life in the stars. I think I’m finally starting to understand.”

He found Rey watching him with rapt attention. “Understand what?”

He took a deep breath, looking at the glowing blooms surrounding them. “Why they did it. Why they left the Rebellion. I’m so tired, Rey. I used to think I would do this forever - protecting the galaxy, doing what is right. Now when I think of the end of this, the end of the First Order, the end of the war, this is what I see,” he gestured around, trying to encompass the moon as a whole. “My own house, this ring on someone’s finger instead of around my neck, a few grandkids for Kes to chase around.”

He scrubbed his face with his free hand.

“You must think I’ve grown soft in my old age,” he said with a short laugh. He glanced over at Rey. She had an odd look on her face, a little starstruck, like she was seeing something amazing for the first time.

“Not at all,” she said, her face getting closer to his own. “I think you’re a bit of a romantic.”

She closed the space between them, touching her lips to his own in an impossibly soft kiss. She was already pulling back by the time his brain had registered what happened, a question in her eyes and on her lips.

She looked at him shyly. “Is that ok?”

Instead of answering, he took her face in both hands and pressed his lips to hers more firmly this time, allowing the heat to build between them. When her lips parted slightly, he used every ounce of self control he possessed to keep his tongue out of the action. Rey may have started it, but he knew who he’d have to answer to if he took things too far.

He was the one to break off the kiss this time, breathing heavily as he touched his forehead to hers. He was more than a little pleased with himself when he noticed she was out of breath.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said, a delicious smirk on her face. Someone was going to have to physically hold him back if she kept looking at him like that.

“Take that as an emphatic yes. You have full permission to do that anytime you like.”

For emphasis, he leaned in to give her a quick peck, only to find her hands knotted in his curls, her mouth opening under his own. He was only human after all, unable to resist running his tongue across her bottom lip, darting in to explore her mouth. He knew she was a quick learner, but it only took one try for her to start reciprocating, adding her teeth in a way that made Poe shiver with delight.

He was first to pull away again, genuinely out of breath from a kiss for the first time since he was 19 years old. Kriff, he was going to hell for this.

“We should get back,” he said, attempting to slow down the beating in his chest. No such luck.

“What, you don’t want to make out with me?” she said with a teasing smile.

“Oh, I’d make out with you all night,” he said, succeeding in giving her a quick kiss on the lips to stress that point. “But Dad will be worried, and I don’t feel like having to explain to him that we were making out under the sacred tree.”

She sighed. “I hate when you get all logical on me, Dameron.”

He laughed at that, taking her hand and laying a kiss on her knuckles before intertwining her fingers with his own.

“Me too, Sunshine. Me too.”


	6. Day Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey attends her first Command meeting. Black Squadron returns bearing gifts for the Rebellion. Poe meets his match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A relatively short chapter (at least for me) and some plot! I also upped the rating since things are about to get a bit steamier thanks to the chapter I wrote this week. Let me know what you think.

Rey walked into the kitchen at 0730 thinking she would be able to enjoy a cup of caf before the meeting started, only to find the entirety of the Resistance command already crammed around the table staring directly at her. Since she had last witnessed a meeting, they’d added a few to their ranks, including herself and Connix, with Poe, Leia, and D’Acy rounding out the group.Kes hovered around the edge of the kitchen making caf and wiping down counters, while Threepio stood behind the General, most likely in his official capacity as record keeper.

Rey apologized, ducking her head and taking the only remaining seat, between Poe and Connix. He silently slid a cup of caf to her, already the exact soft beige color she liked.

Poe had walked her back to his room last night, stopping occasionally to kiss her breathless, but refusing to go further than the door. The house was eerily quiet with both Kes and Leia already asleep, Rey whispering her wish for him to stay with her and Poe whispering back his refusal before taking his spot on the couch.

The offer wasn’t even sexual - well, not completely. Truthfully, between the nightmares and the odd shadows that kept popping up, the only time in the past couple weeks that she got more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep had been in Poe’s arms. Though based on Poe’s reaction, she was starting to realize that the kissing complicated that particular dynamic. What had once been two hurting people finding comfort in each other’s company, now was something… more. Something she didn’t have the words for yet. Maybe she’d ask Rose.

She took a sip of her caf as Leia started to speak.

“No need to apologize, Commander. We’re all just a little overeager.” Rey’s face screwed up at the use of the title. She would never be used to it. “Sergeant Dameron, I was hoping you would join us.”

Kes paused at the entryway to the main room, taking a step back into the kitchen. “General, you are too kind, but as I explained yesterday, I am quite happily retired.”

“Then how about as a consultant,” Leia said, a stubborn smirk playing across her face.

Kes sighed, recognizing he wasn’t going to win this battle today. He set his cup on the table, leaving the kitchen briefly and returning with a chair from the other room. While the rest of the group scooted closer together, bumping each other and scraping chair legs across the wood floor, Kes squeezed the chair in to the last available space at the table.

Once everyone was resettled and Kes was wedged in, General Organa continued.

“We’ve started to receive the first reports from our operatives around the galaxy since the evacuation of D’Qar,” she said, looking around the table. “The First Order suffered heavy losses thanks to Vice Admiral Holdo’s sacrifice. Conflicting reports have the count at either five or six star destroyers taken out. The Supremacy, while not completely destroyed, has been crippled and production from the vessel has ceased. The good news is that hyperspace tracking is currently down. The bad news is that they still have the means and the manpower to bring it back online.”

“What about their command structure?” asked Poe, leaning forward and nearly sending a cup of caf across the table. “They had to have taken a hit. We watched that ship break in half.”

D’Acy spoke up. “Unfortunately, from what we can tell, much of their leadership survived. Though with the hasty rise of the new Supreme Leader,” she sent a cautious glance in Leia’s direction, “we suspect there will be in-fighting in the highest ranks. We could exploit that to further destabilize the First Order.”

Poe snorted. “Hugs v. Ren. Oh to be a fly on that wall.”

That earned a low chuckle from a few around the table.

“Have we heard anything from our sources within the First Order?” asked Leia, ignoring Poe’s comment as she fixed her gaze on Connix.

“With the attack on the Supremacy, most of our agents have gone dark,” explained Connix. “We’re not sure if that’s due to heavy losses on the Supremacy or rumors of our current numbers having reached the operatives.”

“So we don’t have anyone in place that can exploit those weaknesses,” Leia said with a sigh.

Rey could feel despair creep into the room as that realization sunk in. They were truly starting at the beginning. All the years of planning and preparation, making contacts and infiltrating the ranks, all gone in the span of a single week.

As if sensing her distress, Poe reached for her hand under the table, squeezing it once in his own before letting it drop again.

Kes broke the silence. “Ok, so moles and operatives are out until we can prove we’re still alive and kicking. What about the rest of the Republic Navy? The entire fleet wasn’t on Hosnian Prime.”

“Shortly before the evacuation on D’Qar, Poe and I sent the rest of Black Squadron to Mirrin to convince what was left of the Republic fleet to join the Resistance. It’s been eight days.” Leia shook her head, looking down at the cup of caf in front of her.

Rey felt Poe tense beside her. Taking her cues from him, she reached out for his hand, twining her fingers through his.

“There’s been no word?” he asked, gently running his thumb over the underside of her wrist.

“I’m sorry, Poe,” said the General, looking at him with genuine concern in her eyes. “Kes, can you fill everyone in on the assessment on the base.”

Kes, who was watching Poe carefully, snapped out of it at Leia’s request. “The lower levels of the Great Temple have been mapped by BB-8 and appear to be mostly useable.Anything above the second floor is gone; we’re working on blocking off access to the upper levels. We’ll start clearing out barracks and staff quarters later today, hoping to have usable space by the end of next week.”

“We also found nine T-65s deemed salvageable by Rose in the main hangar,” contributed Poe, his grip loosening on her hand under the table. “And five more that can be used for parts. I think it was three usable A-wings,” he looked at Kes, who nodded in confirmation.

“That’s a good start,” said Leia, entering something into her data pad. ”Now we just need enough people to fly them. Let’s get everyone working on salvage and clean up this morning, focusing on getting communications and tracking up and running.”

“What about stormtroopers?” Every one turned to Rey, speaking up for the first time.

“Yes, what about stormtroopers?” asked Leia, repeating her question with different emphasis.

“For the spies,” Rey started, suddenly very nervous with all eyes on her. “I mean, Finn couldn’t be the only one with thoughts of his own, right? There has to be more.”

“General, I think she’s right,” said Connix, sounding a little surprised. “If we can figure out how to make contact, we may be able to recruit from within their ranks. Stormtroopers are practically invisible; they see everything.”

“Excellent thinking, Rey. Connix, set up a meeting with Finn. I’d like to pick his brain.

“Oh and one final item. It seems that the Resistance was officially denounced yesterday as a seditious paramilitary faction in direct opposition of the rule of the First Order.”

She paused, making eye contact with each and every person at the table in turn, a fire in her eyes that Rey was beginning to recognize.

“Welcome to the Rebellion, ladies and gentleman.”

***

Poe was hovering.

Rose was elbow deep in the T-65 he’d claimed as his own, tinkering with one of the mods out on the newly cleared landing space, while he stood off to the side pacing. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Rose - she was easily tied with Rey as the best mechanic in the Resistance - he’d just been hoping to get the bird into the air today.

“Dameron, if you don’t stop pacing, I swear I’ll get the electro-prod,” said Rose, never even looking up from whatever component she was working on.

“You do not want her to get the prod,” said Finn from his perch on the ladder. “I couldn’t feel my face for days.”

“Wait, why did you… you know what? Never mind, I don’t want to know,” Poe said, holding up a hand.

“Why don’t you go bug Rey? She’s around here somewhere,” suggested Rose, reaching for a harris wrench.

Poe crossed his arms. “She already kicked me out of the hangar,” he mumbled.

Finn burst out laughing, the sound still sparking something low in Poe’s gut. His crush on the former stormtrooper was fading - and he realized that’s all it was, a silly crush - only rearing its head during the odd quiet moment like this. There was no real heat to it, at least not anymore, but he still couldn’t help but feel he was betraying Rey in some small way.

Now Rey, just the thought of her kindled something deep inside him. Last night in the clearing, after the tree had shown him that child, his child, he admitted for the first time - to Rey of all people - that this was what he wanted. A quiet life on his home world, a couple of kids to chase after, and some land to tend. Maybe a spare X-wing to fly, when the mood struck. And she didn’t laugh at him, the hotshot pilot who dreamed of life on a farm. Kriff, he already knew he was a goner.

He also knew that he needed an outlet, the nervous energy building in him, annoying everyone around him. He needed to break atmo or fuck someone, the only two options when he got like this. And since he decidedly was not going there with Rey yet, that left one option, the means to which was being blocked by Rose.

“Don’t you have work to be doing?” asked Finn with a smirk, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“He’s trying to get in the air today,” said Rose, shrewd as ever. “No such luck, flyboy. General Organa said nothing goes up until we have the shield generator up and running and we’re able to monitor the planet.”

Poe tried to keep the pout off his face, though if Rose’s laugh was any indication he failed miserably. He turned to Finn. “Don’t _you_ have work to be doing?”

“I have a meeting with the General. You know, I’m kind of a big deal,” he joked, sliding off the step he was sitting on. “Speaking of, I better head over. Don’t want to keep her waiting.”

Finn walked past Rose, lightly touching her shoulder before walking back toward the base. It was a sweet gesture, one born of a familiarity that Poe recognized. He thought he’d feel some sort of disappointment witnessing their easy affection; all he felt was a longing to find his young Jedi.

Rose popped her head out of the engine. “Seriously Poe, go find something to fix. You’re not going up today, even if I have to disconnect every ignition switch in the fleet.”

Poe laughed, recognizing defeat. “Fine, but soon, Tico. Soon.”

She shook her head at him as he walked back toward the hangar. He really should be doing something productive, he thought to himself as he entered the cavernous space. He wasn’t really sure what his role was in this new Rebellion yet. He knew Leia wanted him to take more of a leadership role, but he wasn’t quite sure what that entailed. He was a man of action, used to jumping in an X-wing and blowing stuff up; right now he felt like he was just getting underfoot.

Poe passed an X-wing with a familiar pair of legs sticking out of the cockpit, pausing before climbing the ladder next to the fighter.

“Whatcha doin’,” he asked, knowing he wouldn’t startle her. She was face down in the cockpit, but he was pretty sure she knew where every single person on base was at any given moment.

“Trying. To. Get. This. Circuit. Board. Out.” It sounded like she was gritting her teeth. There was a wrenching sound as something gave way under the instrument panel, and Rey overbalanced, her legs tipping over and out of the cockpit. Poe grabbed her before she fell completely.

“Thanks,” she said, righting herself so she was sitting upright in the seat, grinning wide at the prize in her hands. Poe smiled at her.

“So they have you salvaging, I see,” he said.

“Well, you can take the scavenger off of Jakku…” she said, making him laugh. “Are you here to help or here to hover? Because I’m not afraid to kick you out again.”

“Here to help then, I suppose,” he said with a shrug.

“Good,” she said, extending her hand for him to help her up. She gave a hard look to something over his shoulder, a habit he was starting to notice. “I’m going to run this out to Rose, then we’re going to crack that baby open.” She pointed toward a beat up X-wing directly to their left as he followed her down the ladder.

He wandered over to the fighter, running his hand over the pockmarked hull. It looked like it had seen a lot of action during it’s day, carbon scoring marring the traditional red stripes. There was a large piece of one of the S-foils missing, leaving Poe to wonder how the thing even made it back to base.

“Ready?” asked Rey, approaching from behind. “I think some of the hyperdrive components are salvageable, but I’m going to need some help getting to them.”

They crawled under the belly of the bird, Rey opening an access panel directly above their heads. Poe held back a bunch of tangled wires and hoses over his head while Rey tried to disconnect the core, both sweating from the effort in close quarters.

Rey sat back on her heels, giving Poe a minute to rest his arms. She wiped the sweat off her face, leaving a streak of grease across her right cheek.

“You have…” he trailed off, reaching out to wipe the smudge from her face. His hand lingered on her skin, as he leaned in closer.

She helped him close the distance, her lips meeting his under the open hatch. Her hands tangled in his hair and he practically growled at her, moving one hand to her waist to guide her closer. Suddenly, she was straddling his lap, her lips parting to allow him more access. He greedily explored her mouth, relishing the slide of her tongue over his own, as the heat pooled low in his stomach.

Finally, he broke the kiss, leaning over to kiss down her neck. He hit a spot just behind her ear that made her moan and arch her neck back. The back of her head hit the hull with an audible crack, bringing Poe temporarily back down to earth.

She laughed, and rubbed the back of her skull.

“You okay, Sunshine?” he asked, reaching his hand back to feel as well. He kissed her lightly on the forehead. “I guess we got a little carried away.”

“More than okay, flyboy,” she replied, gently pushing him on to his back. She leaned over him and kissed him, open mouthed, her tongue already expertly tangling with his own. Had she really kissed him for the first time last night?

Her hips stuttered over his own, her ass brushing his growing erection. He knew she could probably feel it, a thought confirmed when she giggled into his mouth and deliberately ground her hips into his. Even through both layers of clothes, he could feel her heat, his cock throbbing at the sensation.

“Not fair,” he ground out, nearly gasping as she slid her hands under his shirt.

He captured her mouth again, trying to distract her from the effect she had on him, when their comms beeped out a warning tone simultaneously. They needed to report to central command.

Rey groaned in frustration, resting her forehead on his with her eyes closed. He could hear her trying to regulate her breath.

The tone issued again.

Rey sat up quickly, knocking her head again on the hull, wincing as her hand came up to the back of her head.

“Oh, Rey. Come on, let’s get out of here before you end up with a concussion. I thought Jedi were supposed to be graceful.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “Well, that’s definitely gonna be a bump tomorrow,” she sighed, carefully getting off his lap. She was still rubbing her scalp absently as she crawled out from under the X-wing.

He took a couple more deep breaths, systematically trying to name all the core planets in an effort to cool down. Once he felt sufficiently calm, he crawled out after her.

In the harsh light of the hangar, they looked quite the pair. Rey’s hair was half out of her buns, getting worse as she continued to touch her head. His shirt was untucked, the three top buttons undone. They were both filthy from the hangar floor and the X-wing.

“Oh, no,” he said, taking a look at her face. “I didn’t shave this morning. I think I took off half your skin.”

She reached up, touching the delicate skin around her mouth.

“We’re about to get caught, aren’t we?” she asked.

“We are definitely about to get caught,” he replied, starting toward central command.

 

They were the last to arrive in central, Poe trying to find an inconspicuous spot in the back. He spotted Finn and Rose near the front of the group, and his father next to Leia and Threepio. The General was addressing the entire Rebellion, along with some of the Yavinese who had recently joined up. Poe watched as Threepio leaned over and said something Leia, who looked directly at the spot they were standing.

“Nice of you two to join us,” said General Organa, the crowd parting for them to come forward.

Poe felt his face flame, but moved toward to where the General was standing in front of the holoprojector, Rey following behind him. When they walked past Finn, the former stormtrooper crossed his arms, a murderous expression on his face. Poe sighed. That was going to turn into a conversation he really didn’t feel like having today.

“Oh lord,” said the General, taking one look at them. “Do you have oil in your hair, Commander?”

He reached up to the back of his head, his hand coming away black and greasy. Oh gods.

“Why yes, General. I do believe that’s oil,” he said, wiping his hand on his pants.

“Classy as ever, Dameron.”

Poe’s head shot up at the sound of the familiar voice.

“Snap!” he shouted, seeing his friend standing just off to the side of the projector. It looked like the pilot hadn’t shaved or slept in a week, his flight suit torn in a couple places, but Snap Wexley was in one piece. The two men rushed toward each other, meeting in an embrace.

“It’s been eight days, Dameron. Get a grip,” quipped Snap, still not letting go of Poe.

“Yeah, well a lot’s happened in eight days,” he said, looking around. A shock of terror shot through him. “Where’s Karé?

“She’s fine. She’s in orbit with the others waiting for the all clear,” he said, relief flooding through Poe.

“What others?”

“Well Commander, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Black Squadron has returned with a little gift for us,” said General Organa, flipping a switch on the holoprojector in front of her.

The image flickered to life, almost five feet tall. It showed a field of X-wings surrounding the moon - T-85s if he wasn’t mistaken, there had to be at least 40 of them -along with a couple support ships.

Poe turned to Leia and Snap, his jaw slack. “New Republic?”

The General nodded, a genuine smile on her face for the first time in weeks. “People, we have over 100 New Republic refugees headed our way. Who still has room to take people in?” A few of the Yavinese raised their hands. “Ok, go see Kes, he’ll start assigning housing. Pilots, mechanics, and flight crew, prepare the hangar for landing.How much progress have we made on the barracks?”

Connix took this one. “We’ve got 50 beds available so far. We can probably prep another 15 to 20 with some additional help.”

“Perfect. Everyone who hasn’t been assigned, follow Connix. We want to make sure our new rebels have a place to sleep tonight. Commanders,” she said, looking at Rey, Poe, and D’Acy, “Debrief with Captain Wexley in five. Dismissed!”

With that the rebels dispersed, Rey walking over to the meeting table with D’Acy and Leia. Poe looked over at Snap, still not quite able to believe that he found them. That he brought the Navy back with him.

“What the hell happened, man?” whispered Snap, looking around the room. “I heard we took losses, but there were like 800 more of us when I left D’Qar.”

Poe gave him a brief rundown of what happened between the evacuation and their rescue on Crait.

“No shit, Dameron. A mutiny? What did Kes think about that one?”

Poe scrubbed his hand over his face. “Well it wasn’t his proudest moment.”

“And that’s the Jedi?” he asked, nodding over to where Rey sat with Leia and D’Acy. “The one the stormtrooper wouldn’t shut up about?”

Poe nodded, a soft smile on his face as he watched Rey talk energetically with Leia and D’Acy.

“I’m gonna have to hear more of that story,” said Snap, a knowing smirk on his face.

Poe shook his head, laughing at his friend. “Come on, let’s get over there before I get demoted again.”

 

 

The Rebellion leadership was standing in a straight line in front of the hangar doors, waiting for the arrival of Black Squadron and the Republic Fleet. The rest of the rebels were slowly gathering behind them, ready to welcome the newcomers.

The rain had stopped about twenty minutes prior, leaving the air hot and thick in the afternoon sun. The duracrete steamed as the water evaporated, lending the entire scene a hazy, dreamlike quality.

Poe was standing next to Rey, practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of reuniting with his squadron. Rey touched the back of her hand to his, seeming to instinctively know that the skin-on-skin contact would ground him, earning a strange look from Leia on Poe’s other side.

A crack sounded as the first of the fleet broke atmo, the X-wings seeming to appear out of thin air. As they approached, Poe was able to pick out Karé in the lead, followed by a number of the T-85s. There was another crack as the rest of the T-85s made their approach, tailed by a small transport and a medical frigate. Two older X-wings brought up the rear, Suralinda and Jess if Poe had to guess.

Poe watched as the birds landed one by one, lining up on the duracrete with military precision. It was one of the things he didn’t miss about the Navy; he never really had the patience to follow arbitrary rules like standard landing patterns and X-wing formations. He’d done it of course - it hadn’t really been optional - he was just thankful for the relative freedom the Resistance had afforded him. He hoped that wasn’t about to change with the Rebellion.

Snap had briefed them earlier about the situation when Black Squadron had arrived on Mirrin.

_“Utter chaos,” said Snap, slashing a hand through the air. “They were attempting to evacuate when we landed, didn’t even have patrols up. I mean, I get that they had just lost their entire governing body, but common sense says the First Order is coming for you next.”_

_“Save the editorial for the mess hall, Captain. Let’s get the facts.”_

_“Sorry, General,” he said, bringing himself back to the topic. “As I said, we landed during their evacuation. It took us a couple hours, but we were finally taken to see Major Desso-”_

_Poe groaned audibly._

_“You know him, Dameron?” Snap laughed._

_“He’s the main reason I defected. Absolutely refused to believe the First Order was a threat, even after we lost Muran.”_

_Poe’s voice wobbled a bit on Muran’s name, the grief lancing through him even after all this time. His heart rate picked up as the grief was quickly replaced with anger. The Major could have ended this years ago, before the Hosnian Cataclysm, before anybody in the Resistance had to give their lives. But he chose to bury his head in the sand. Rey looked at him with concern, probably able to read his storm of emotions through the Force._

_“Well shit,” said Snap, looking from Poe to Leia and back again. He’d heard enough of the Muran story to know what his death did to Poe. “He’s coming with the rest of the fleet. They agreed to the terms 100%.”_

_“What were the terms?” asked Rey. She had taken Poe’s hand under the table._

_Leia took this one. “The agreement is that they join the Rebellion, no distinction between New Republic and Rebellion troops or ranks. All spacecraft are property of the Rebellion and their two highest ranking officers are given a place on this council.”_

_Leia paused for a moment. “Is this going to be an issue, Poe? I’d assume the Major will be one of those joining the council.”_

_“I’ll be fine, General.” She looked at him pointedly. “I promise I can play nice.”_

In the present, the New Republic pilots and civilians had exited their craft and were gathered some 10 meters in front of the where the council stood. Two men broke off from the group, Major Desso and a young, male Captain with his blonde hair in a close, military cut.

The two men approached the General, giving her a brief salute before standing at attention.

“At ease, gentleman,” said the General with a slight smile. “I’d like to welcome you to the Rebellion on behalf of the Leadership Council: Commander Dameron, Commander Rey, Commander D’Acy, Lieutenant Connix, and Sergeant Dameron.

“We’re all very excited to have you join our ranks, and we look forward to working together to bring about the end of the First Order.”

The group assembled behind the Major and the Captain gave a cheer, one that was quickly picked up by the Rebellion.

When the crowd had quieted down again, Major Desso spoke. “On behalf of the former New Republic Fleet, I’d like to thank you for your hospitality and take this opportunity to affirm our commitment to the cause.”

He held out a hand to the General, which she took graciously, cementing the joining of the two factions.

Another cheer rose from the assembled crowd, as both groups surged forward to meet, the original and new members becoming nearly indistinguishable as the two mixed. Poe could see Finn and Rose greeting some of the civilians in the back, bringing them into the base and out of the heat.

“Commander Dameron.”

Poe’s attention fixed on the man addressing him. The man in front of Poe looked nothing like the brash Major who stood in front of him insisting that the First Order’s threat was overstated. In fact, he looked tired and old and defeated, like a man who had followed his orders to the detriment of the entire galaxy and knew it. Poe found his old anger ebbing away as he realized he felt bad for Desso.

“Major Desso,” Poe said, 

“Commander, I owe you an apology,” he said, meeting Poe’s eyes. “I didn’t take your intel seriously after the _Yissira Zyde_ due to your… relationship with Lieutenant Muran.” Poe felt Rey’s gaze turn to him. “I honestly thought it was just the grief talking. If I had just listened-”

“It’s in the past,” said Poe, cutting off the Major’s confession. He held out his hand for Desso, the older man taking it gratefully. “To the future.”

“To the future,” Desso repeated, shaking his hand.

The Major moved on to greet Rey, who had been watching the exchange with a wary expression. He hadn’t spoken a word to Rey about his relationship with the Lieutenant, but the look on her face suggested that was about to change. And soon.

The Captain was just finishing with Leia. He moved down the line, extending his hand for Poe to shake.

“Captain Jax Devlin, Wing Leader,” the man introduced himself. He looked to be about 24 or 25, clean cut, a little cocky. Basically Poe from seven years ago. “And you are Commander Poe Dameron, best pilot in the Resistance.”

Poe grinned sheepishly. “So they tell me.”

“Good thing we aren’t in the Resistance anymore,” laughed the man in front of him, slapping him on the back. Poe’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “I fully plan to give you a run for your money, Commander.”

Devlin moved on to Rey, while Poe continued to stare at him, completely speechless.

“And you must be the Jedi we’ve heard so much about,” he said, holding on to her hand a second longer than Poe would have liked. “I’m Captain Jax Devlin.”

“Commander Rey,” she said, taking her hand back gently.

“Rey. First name or last name?” he asked, a roguish grin on his face. Poe clenched his fists in an attempt to not wipe that smirk off his face.

“Only name,” she answered, her tone conversational but betraying a slight annoyance. The Major obviously wasn’t picking up on it.

“Well Rey, I look forward to working with you.”

“That’s Commander Rey, Captain.”

Poe snorted, earning a sideways glance from both Devlin and Leia.

Devlin turned his attention back to Rey. “Of course, Commander.” He nodded once then moved down the line to greet D’Acy.

Leia fixed him with A Look. “I thought we were going to play nice, Commander,” she said quietly, leaning on her cane.

“With Major Desso. I made no promises for Captain Bantha-ass,” replied Poe, not bothering to lower his voice. Let him hear.

Leia rolled her eyes, walking toward the open hangar where the majority of the new Rebellion was gathering. Poe could hear the excited voices echoing across the cavernous space, their newest members receiving the full tour.

“Poe!” Rey said, whacking him across the chest with the back of her hand hard enough to sting.

“What?” he replied, feigning innocence.

“I can handle myself,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I know you can. It’s me who can’t handle him,” he said, checking to make sure none of their friends would catch them before pulling her into a quick kiss. He looked up, noting with some satisfaction that the Captain had been watching. He kissed her once more on the forehead for good measure.

“Come on, flyboy. Let’s go find the rest of Black Squadron,” she said, pulling him towards the hangar.


	7. Day Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new Rebellion enjoys a quiet day before they honor their dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 14 originally clocked in at 11,000 words (yikes!), so I decided to split it into two much more manageable chapters. I hope you enjoy, we're finally starting to get to the meat of this story (with a minor detour or two). Let me know what you think in the comments!

Rey awoke to sun streaming through the windows on her 12th day on Yavin 4 (yes, she was counting). It had been just shy of three standard weeks since the Resistance had its last stand on Crait, but the pain and despair of that day already felt like a lifetime ago.

That was actually the reason she wasn’t already up and at work already; the former Resistance had chosen today to mourn their dead. Some villagers had come to Leia shortly after the return of Black Squadron and their merge with what was left of the New Republic Defense Fleet, offering to host a day of mourning for the Rebellion. Part funeral, part celebration of life, the Mourning would begin at dusk with a memorial at one of the lesser temples followed by a large party in the town square. Rey wasn’t sure a party was an appropriate way to grieve for their losses, but Poe had explained that it was traditional on Yavin 4 to celebrate the lives lost and the lives spared.

They had all been given the day off to reflect and prepare for what was sure to be a very emotional evening. The people of the Rebellion had spent the last weeks working round the clock to bring the base online, leaving no spare time to deal with their collective grief. The base had become fully operational early last week, ahead of schedule thanks to the influx of workers from the former Republic Navy. Poe and Rey were both scheduled to move on base tomorrow, each earning officers’ private quarters due to their respective positions in Rebellion command.

Speaking of Poe, he shifted slightly in his sleep next to her, tightening his arm around her stomach to bring her back flush with his chest.

She’d finally convinced him to give up the couch a week ago, after a lot of tedious conversation about taking things slow, and boundaries, and going at her own pace. She knew he was trying to be respectful - he didn’t want her to feel pressured into anything they did together - but she was getting tired of feeling like the feral child of Jakku. Just because she hadn’t experienced sex or love or friendship first hand, didn’t mean that she was completely ignorant of the topics. She’d overheard enough talk while doing business in Niima Outpost to get the gist of things, and she had Rose to fill in the finer details. Plus she was a _very_ fast learner, a fact that Poe had pointed out more than once during their private activities. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that half the time she was just picking up suggestions he was projecting into the void.

She slid deftly out of Poe’s embrace, turning so they were face to face. She rarely woke before him - he was such an insufferable morning person - so she took the opportunity to look at him uninterrupted.

His sleeping face was completely devoid of the stress and tension of daily life, smoothing out the lines that showed up on his forehead and between his brows. The faint lines around his eyes remained, the proof of a life lived smiling. His strong jaw was a little scruffy - he shaved every morning but his beard seemed to grow faster than he could keep up with. For all the hair on his head, the rest of his body was only lightly sprinkled, a fact for which Rey was grateful. She didn’t need to be conjuring images of wookiees while they were naked.

That was another thing that had surprised Rey at first - the way in which her body reacted to his. Her body craved him, the way it craved water in the midday sun. She had always been forced to protect her body fiercely on Jakku, an unfortunate effect of a lawless planet. She always had to be on guard, ready to defend herself or face the dire consequences. She never would have imagined that she could feel comfortable sharing her body with another, but that was certainly the direction she was heading with Poe.

In fact, it was starting to feel inevitable, this path they were on. They had spent the nearly two standard weeks since their first kiss systematically exploring each other’s bodies with hands and mouths and fingers and tongues, Poe still refusing to take that final step with her. He had drawn a line - an arbitrary line in Rey’s opinion - and he wasn’t ready to cross it. For her, that line had been crossed the first time she sighed his name as he worked his mouth between her thighs.

She ran a hand through his curls, matted on his forehead from sleep, using her short nails to scratch his scalp the way he liked.

“Mmmm,” he hummed at her, waking up. “Were you planning to wake me or just stare at me all morning.”

She giggled as he popped up, planting a kiss on her lips before burying his face in her neck. He kissed up her collarbone, his lips making their way to the spot just behind her ear that always made her purr. With a final peck on her lips, he got up and out of bed and headed toward the ‘fresher for his morning shower, leaving her squirming in frustration on the mattress.

“Not fair, Commander!” she called after him, to which he looked over his shoulder and winked at her. Rey watched from behind as That Dameron Ass (as she fondly referred to it) made its way into the ‘fresher.

A minute later she heard the water go on, taking that as her cue to get out of bed.

She’d never really had a day off before. Even when she’d been sick or hurt on Jakku she’d either had to spent the day scavenging or she didn’t eat, which at her weight wasn’t a viable option. As she stripped out of her sleeping clothes and stepped into her underthings, she wondered what to do with all that free time. Her first choice would have been to spend the day locked in this room with Poe, but Kes had already recruited him to help with the harvest. She needed to talk to Finn, but maybe she’d see what Rose and Chewie were up to on the Falcon first.

She’d just put her breast band on when Poe snuck up behind her, wrapping her in a hug. He was still warm and wet from the shower, clad in nothing but the towel wrapped around his waist. She could feel his hair drip on her shoulder as he gave her a kiss on the cheek before stepping around her to the dresser.

Rey blushed slightly, still a little unused to sharing a space with another person.

“Someone’s in a good mood this morning,” she said, pulling her tunic down over her head.

He opened the drawer, grabbing a shirt and throwing it on before stepping into his underwear and discarding the towel. Rey envied how easy Poe was with his body, remembering how shy she had felt the first time she had bared herself to him. She’d stood here, in the middle of his room, nodding as he’d asked permission to take off each individual piece of her clothing, kissing her as he went along. He’d openly worshipped her body, his hands and mouth exploring every square inch as he whispered his praises into her skin, until she couldn't remember why she'd been embarrassed in the first place.

“No meetings today,” he said drawing her out of her reverie as he pulled on a pair of pants. “I never thought I’d be so happy to do manual labor.”

Rey couldn’t disagree. Since they’d joined with the New Republic troops, it had been nothing but strategy sessions and committee meetings and security briefings; she longed to get her hands dirty, preferably elbow deep in an engine. It didn’t help that with all the demands that the leadership council placed on her, she hadn’t seen Finn or Rose in nearly a week. Sure, they passed each other in the hangar or on the way to the mess, but it wasn’t the same thing. Plus she wanted to talk to Rose about that thing Poe did with his tongue…

“You’re blushing,” said Poe, standing in front of her completely dressed. “What are you thinking about?” The smirk on his face told her not only that he’d probably guessed but that he was probably right.

She took a step forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Nothing that concerns you, Commander,” she said playfully, knowing what use of the title did to him.

He didn’t disappoint, burying his face in her neck with soft growl as she giggled into his damp curls. He brought his lips up to her own, walking her backwards until they were both on the bed. Poe deepened the kiss, hands searching under her tunic as she ran her hands through his hair.

“Poe,” she said, breaking the kiss. He didn’t break stride, moving his lips back to her neck as she spoke. He brushed the spot behind her ear and she shivered, trying to repress the soft moan. He chuckled at the sound, redoubling his efforts on that particular spot.

“Poe,” she said more firmly, finally getting him to look at her. “Don’t you have to go? Kes is probably waiting.”

“Let him wait,” he said, moving toward her neck again.

“Poe.”

He sighed dramatically, leaning his forehead on her collarbone. She tried - and failed - not to smile.

“Have it your way,” he said, placing one quick kiss on her lips before standing and helping her to her feet.

 

Rey made her way to the base alone, the path through the jungle now as familiar to her as the halls of the Millennium Falcon. As she stepped on to the duracrete surrounding the old temple, the first thing she noticed was how quiet it was. She’d gotten so used to the bustle of the base - mechanics calling out for spare parts, droids beeping out commands in binary, the pilots out on their morning run - that the silence seemed almost eerie.

Rebels had continued to trickle in after the influx of the New Republic remnants. Another friend of Poe's, Iolo Arana, had returned two days ago with a transport full of refugees - and an unexpected windfall.

_“200 million credits?” repeated Leia, turning the small chip over in her hands._

_“Yes General, 200 million,” said the soft spoken Red Nikto in front of them. Poe in particular had found it hilarious that a fearsome Nikto was an accountant. “The First Order emptied most of our accounts directly following the Cataclysm, but they didn’t find everything. By my estimates, there’s still around 500 million unaccounted for.”_

_Leia’s eyes had gone wide at the prospect._

Back on base, they were running a skeleton crew that day, volunteers only, just enough to monitor the skies and keep the shield generator up and running.

She rounded the corner of the old temple, finding herself face to face with Captain Devlin.

“Sorry, Commander,” he said, as they almost collided, both rounding the corner at the same time. He was careful not to touch her, putting his hands up. “Just admiring the history.”

She looked up at the Falcon, realizing not for the first time how much the ship meant to so many people. It was easy to forget after those tense early days post Crait - mainly spent patching up the ship and each other - that the old bird was a piece of living history.

They had all been working together closely over the past weeks, Captain Devlin being the second New Republic addition to Command, an appointment that annoyed Poe endlessly. Among other things that annoyed Poe endlessly was the fact that the young captain was permitted to join the patrol roster, while Poe was still grounded in the name of better serving the Rebellion.

Rey knew that Poe was already chafing against his new role in the Rebellion. It was obvious Leia was grooming him to be her second in command, but Rey had to disagree with her methods. Leadership suited him, but anyone could see his heart was in an X-wing (preferably blowing something up). Keeping him out of the cockpit could only bring restlessness and bad decisions. Though, now that she thought about it, maybe that was Leia’s intention in grounding him: to teach him a thing or two about patience and humility.

“Have you been inside,” she asked, looking toward the entry ramp. With the exception of their first meeting, she’d actually found the Captain to be decent person. He’d lost most of his family on Hosnian Prime, his cocksure attitude a cover for his guilt and grief. As a result, he had truly thrown himself into serving the Rebellion, taking extra shifts, helping train recruits, running maneuvers with the pilots. In fact, he reminded her quite a bit of Poe in that way, an observation her pilot did not thank her for making.

He looked back at the Falcon longingly. “Nah, you know what they say about meeting your heroes. I’m sure she looks prettier in my imagination anyway,” he said with a wink, making his way around the front of the base. “I’ll see you at the Mourning, Commander?”

“I’ll see you at the Mourning, Captain,” she said, as he rounded the corner.

She continued on to the entry ramp and onto the Falcon, making a loop of the main hold until she found an open grate with a wookiee sticking out of it.

“Hey Chewie,” she said, approaching the opening. He yowled in greeting. She stuck her head in, finding Rose up to her shoulder in an access panel. “Hey Rose.”

“Rey!” she said, scrunching her face as she reached even further into the ship. “So they do let you out of Command.”

Rey felt shame for a moment - she _had_ promised to help with the installation of the bafflers on the Falcon - but it was quickly replaced by a low flash of anger. Did Rose actually think she had a choice? That she was choosing to spend all of her time in endless meetings where they went round and round and made no actual decisions? She had a responsibility to the Rebellion and if Rose couldn’t under-

 _No,_ she thought, stopping herself mid-thought. She refused to pick a fight with her friend, especially today, a day which would be hard enough without internal squabbling. Rey took a breath, realizing through a flash of intuition - or maybe it was the Force - that this was probably more about saying goodbye to Paige than it was about Rey’s schedule.

“Yup, we were given the day off too,” she said, answering Rose in a level voice. The mechanic finally found what she was looking for, a grin spreading across her face as she came out of the panel with a piece of wire and a shiny gold pendant. Rey recognized it as the necklace she used to fix the hyperdrive fuses. “Need any help down there?”

Rose looked up at her, putting the necklace on with a smile, all earlier snark forgotten. “Nah, Chewie and I’ve got this,” she said, Chewie barking in agreement. “There’s not enough room down here anyway. Finn’s in the cockpit if you want to go keep him company.”

Rey nodded, slightly disappointed that after her relatively short absence she was no longer needed. While she was glad that Chewie and Rose had bonded over their mutual adoration of the Falcon, she missed her friends. She’d been looking forward to passing an easy day with Rose and Chewie and Finn, doing something concrete to help for once. She thought - not for the first time - that this whole friendship thing was hard.

She waved goodbye and headed down the hall to the cockpit. She found Finn dozing in the co-pilot’s chair, one of the porgs systematically chewing a hole into his shirt.

In the two weeks since they’d landed on Yavin 4, the porglets had grown up, nearly doubling in size. She wondered vaguely how much of the Falcon they’d eaten during that time, hoping that they wouldn’t find out the next time they had to make a quick getaway. When Rey looked closely, she was able to recognize the markings on the one on Finn’s chest; it was the little bandit that tried to steal Poe’s ring.

She heard a tearing sound, deciding to wake up Finn before he was left without a shirt at all.

“Finn,” she said, gently touching his shoulder. He jolted awake with a shout, his eyes wide in fear. “Hey, Finn. It’s just me. It’s okay,” she said, letting him catch his breath.

“What the-” he said, looking down at the porg on his chest. He plucked it off, tossing it to the corner where it joined it’s brethren in a nest made out of an astonishing amount of wookiee fur. Rey refused to think about where it all came from.

Finn looked down at his shirt, seeing the giant hole over his left nipple at the same time Rey did.

Rey burst out laughing at the look on Finn’s face, Finn joining in a second later. Rey bent over, tears streaming down her face, completely unable to catch her breath as her laughter was continuously fed by Finn’s and vice versa. It went on a whole minute before Finn was able to bring himself under control, Rey coming down more slowly, getting the giggles once or twice in the process.

When they had both settled, Rey collapsed into the pilot’s seat, her sides aching.

“I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard,” said Finn, grabbing his own sides. He let out a short laugh. “It hurts.”

Rey leaned back in the chair. “I know,” she said with a sigh, looking out the transparisteel toward the landing strip. The clouds were rolling in for the afternoon rain.

Rey was quiet for a moment, listening in the Force for the tell-tale rush of sound or that flickering shadow. She probably needed to talk to Leia about that, and soon. “We’ve made contact with FN-2000,” she said softly, once she was certain they were truly alone. The former stormtrooper whipped his head in her direction. “Our new source tracked him down yesterday.”

Rey’s hunch about Finn had proved fruitful; he had been able to give Leia the names of three troopers he believed were also fighting their programming, individuality creeping into their interactions. Their newest asset in the First Order, a wannabe defector with strong Republic ties, had already proven herself invaluable, tracking down not only FN-2000 but information on one of the other two names.

“FN-2111 was sent to reconditioning two weeks ago,” she put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. Finn had been close - well, as close as two stormtroopers were allowed to get - with FN-2111, calling him almost a friend. From what Rey knew about stormtrooper reconditioning, which admittedly wasn’t much, there probably wasn’t much of Finn’s friend left. “I’m so sorry, Finn.”

He took a deep, steadying breath next to her, nodding his head as he worked through the information. She could almost feel the pieces realigning and falling in to place in his head, quick acceptance from a man used to controlling his thoughts.

“What did Zeroes say?” he asked, ignoring the bad news entirely. “Was he able to help?”

“It was a quick conversation, he couldn’t say much,” replied Rey. “But there are others, Finn. There are more like you and they want out.”

“Is there a plan in place?” he asked, that spark making his eyes truly come alive for the first time since Crait. He was ready to fight.

“We’re going to need your help. You’ve been there; you know what we’re up against,” she hesitated, knowing that the next part wasn’t going to be easy. “But Finn, we’re going to need to know everything. The programming, their tactics, what they made you do, how you broke free. It’s completely your decision; if it would be too much, we’ll understand.”

His expression darkened, and she felt again as he mechanically rearranged his thoughts, nodding as he wrapped his head around the unpleasantness of the task. She knew his answer a second before he spoke.

“I’ll do it. I can’t promise I’ll remember everything, but I can try.”

Finn reached for her hand, which she gave willingly, squeezing his own in solidarity. They watched as the rain finally came, beating on the transparisteel and blurring the world outside their little bubble.

***

The Rebellion stood in the shadow of one of the still-standing temples as the sun went down. It was the smallest of the structures, sitting well below the tree line, more a shrine than an actual temple. Leia looked out to the gathered crowd, dressed in their best for the occasion, speaking words about sacrifice and loss and hope in the face of it all.

Her words had moved many in the group before her to tears, but somehow she couldn’t muster any of her own. _Too many losses_ , she thought, as she continued through her speech. Maybe they just didn’t register anymore.

Her entire life had been defined by loss: loss of her planet, loss of her heritage, loss of her parents, loss of her son, loss of her husband, loss of her brother. The list went on and on the longer she thought about it, which is why she didn’t think about it. Which is why she spewed platitude after platitude in the hope that one would stick.

It had barely been three standard weeks since she’d done this the last time, hours before losing almost everything she had left. How many more times would she have to stand up and make some version of this speech?

But standing in front of her was hope: the young Jedi, a beacon of light in the gathering darkness; the former stormtrooper, breaking the chains of bondage and showing others the way; and her brash pilot, who learned all his lessons the hard way and was a better man for it. They were the future of the Rebellion; they were the hope of the entire galaxy.

Her eyes pricked with tears as she looked at them, her last best hope. She was what they grew beyond, a feeling in the Force that was becoming more and more apparent to her with each passing day. It would be these three who finished the war, not her. That much was certain. Now she just had to spend her remaining time preparing them - all of them - for what came after.

She was almost shocked to find the tears flowing down her cheeks now, her voice wavering as she finished the written part of her speech. Her new aide rushed forward with an orchid, a soft blue bloom that had just begun to glow as the sun set behind the temple.

She cleared her throat. “For Gial and Amilyn and Korr and Han and Luke” she said, her voice cracking on the last name. She placed her flower on the first step of the temple with a quiet sob. Poe stepped up, offering up his broad chest for her to cry on as he wrapped his arms around her. He walked her over to the side, allowing the first of the rebels to name their dead and place their flowers.

Leia focused on calming herself down as she listened to the names, a few bringing fresh tears to her eyes. The young captain that bumped heads with Poe seemed to go on for an eternity, his entire family lost on Hosnian Prime. Leia’s heart ached for him; she knew the feeling. But she was the General, she needed to pull herself together, to be strong for the Rebellion. It just felt so damn good to _feel_ for once. To actually grieve. Poe still had an arm around her, and she allowed herself to be comforted by this man she had watched grow from boyhood.

 _Gods that makes me feel old,_ she thought as Finn approached the front of the crowd.

“For Han and FN-2003 and FN-2111,” said the former stormtrooper, placing his flower at the base of the temple. A soft murmur went up at the sound of the stormtrooper designations, not everyone completely comfortable to have a First Order traitor in their midst. She made a mental note to address that at some point; she wouldn’t have people treating him differently. He walked back to the group and briefly touched the hand of Rose, the little mechanic who was almost single handedly bringing their fleet online.

Rose’s list was long, naming pretty much the entire bombing fleet. She could barely speak by the time she made it to her sister’s name, Finn pulling her into his arms and helping her place her flower.

Rey made sure Rose was ok before she made her way to the front of the temple in her borrowed dress. “For Han and Luke,” she said, placing her bloom and wiping her eyes.

Poe lifted his arm from Leia’s shoulders, taking a deep breath before getting in front of the crowd. “For Muran and Paige and Tallie and Nix,” he said, his list going on, a veritable roll call of former Resistance pilots. He finished with Holdo’s name, crying in earnest as he placed his orchid. He went straight to Rey and buried his face in her shoulder, the Jedi rubbing his back and whispering into his ear.

Leia had been watching those two come together in real time, glad Poe wasn’t getting in his own way this time. Leia had recruited him shortly after Muran, and had watched for years as he hopped from bed to bed around the base, never staying in one place too long. It was good to see him finally allowing himself to move on. A rich thought coming from her, a woman who had loved only one man her entire life, for better or worse.

The processional went on for another hour, until the last orchid had been placed. They were almost at full dark now, Yavin rising high in the night sky. The temple looked beautiful, the steps covered in softly glowing blooms of pink and blue and purple. Leia stepped forward.

“Please join us in the square for food and drink as we celebrate the lives we’ve lost and the lives we’ve been given,” she said, gesturing toward the line of torches that lead their way to the square.

As the gathered rebels started making their way through the jungle, Poe approached her.

“You okay, General?” he asked, reaching to touch her forearm.

“It’s Leia tonight, Poe,” she said with a smile. “And I’m actually feeling much better.”

He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek, moving to go search the crowd - presumably for Rey - as Kes came up to her from behind.

Kes crooked his elbow toward her and she gratefully accepted it, allowing him to guide her through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so that Leia POV came out of nowhere.


	8. Night Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rebellion celebrates life and Poe and Rey take that final step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the chapter I earn that E rating. My first time writing anything remotely smutty and it took me FOREVER. I hope this is a satisfying conclusion to the slow burn portion of this fic, time to bring on the angst.
> 
> Also, I'm apparently just posting at random now, so here's hoping I can keep up the pace.

Rey emerged from the jungle and directly on to a small street paved with stone. Buildings stood on either side, Rey picking out a general store and a cobbler as she walked down the street, lost in the crowd. They ended up in a small square filled with hundreds and hundreds of people at an assortment of mismatched tables. It was full dark now, Yavin hanging bright in the night sky, with the square lit by tiny bulbs strung between streetlamps. On the far side, a number of tables had been pushed together to accommodate more food than Rey had ever seen in her life.

With the exception of her short time at the Resistance base on D’Qar, Rey had never been around this many people all in one place. Even now on base, the crowds tended to spread out. 

She focused on breathing, in and out, trying to slow her heart rate to something that approached normal. With everyone on top of each other, there was just so much noise, both in the Force and ringing in her ears.

She was always picking up stray feelings in the Force - a few people in the Rebellion, including Poe, were big time projectors - but for the most part she’d been avoiding the crowds. She was working with Leia to learn to block out some of the white noise, but her burgeoning skills were no match for the crowd. There were probably more people gathered in the square than she had met in her entire lifetime.

As if he could sense her discomfort, Poe looked up and found her in the crowd, giving her a subtle wink as if to say you’ve got this.

She looked down, feeling a soft tug on her tunic accompanied by a strange tingling behind her eyes. A tiny human girl stood in front of her, her dark hair in three small buns on her head. She tugged on her tunic again, Rey going to her knees to see eye to eye with the child.

“You’re the Jedi,” said the little girl in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

Rey didn’t have the heart to correct the small girl. “Yes, I’m the Jedi,” she said with a smile.

The child’s entire face lit up with her answering smile.

“Do you have your lightsaber?”

Rey reached into her satchel, having completely forgotten to take it to her new quarters before the memorial, and grabbed the pieces, showing the little girl. “I do, but it’s broken.”

The little girl closed her eyes and touched the pieces of the saber reverently. Rey could feel her in the Force, reading the broken pieces, deciding how best to fit them together again.

“I can help you fix it, I’m the best at fixing things,” she said when she had reopened her eyes.

Rey felt that odd tingle again, a feeling like she had some bit of information on the tip of her tongue.

“Jae!” said a harried-looking woman, coming over and picking the child up. “Let’s not bother the nice lady.”

Rey stood up from her crouch, tucking away the lightsaber. It posed no threat to the child, but Rey wasn’t so sure the mother would be keen to have her daughter handling the weapon, broken or not.

“Oh, she wasn’t bothering me at all,” said Rey.

“Well, thank you. She hasn’t stopped talking about you since she saw you on the holo. We even had to do our hair like yours, isn’t that right, Jae?” Jae buried her head in her mother’s shoulder, suddenly embarrassed. “Well, thanks again. Hey, Poe, welcome back.”

“Thanks, Aayla.”

The mother and daughter walked away, while Rey turned around to face the man behind her.

***

“You ok?” Poe asked.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she responded. He could tell that she was calmer than she had been since they’d arrived on the square. She had confessed a few days ago how much of other people’s thoughts and emotions she could pick up in the Force. He had been a little leery at first, but now all he could imagine was how LOUD this must be for her.

“That was amazing. I’m pretty sure you made her night,” he said nodding toward Aayla and her daughter.

Amazing had been the understatement of the year. He had watched as Rey enchanted the little girl, showing her the pieces of her lightsaber, letting her touch them, her little face lit up in awe of the Jedi in front of her. His heart had ached for how sweet Rey was to the child, knowing how she had grown up, how much she had suffered at that age. Yet after all that, she was still kind and brave and strong, so much so that a little girl on the other side of the galaxy wanted to be her.

And those three little buns. Kriff, those three little buns made him think of hazel eyed little girls running around on his dad’s farm, black hair in buns just like their mama’s. Or maybe tiny curly haired babies in their father’s arms.

_Pull it together, Dameron._

“Come on, let’s grab some food before it’s all gone,” he said, taking her hand.

He steered her towards the food, the wafting scents bringing Poe back to his childhood, to memories of his parents cooking, slow dancing while something on the stove simmered. 

Poe handed her a bowl, grabbing one for himself as well.

“Gods, this is my favorite,” he said, giving her a ladle full of a rich smelling red stew. He scraped around the bottom of the pot until he came up with some large chunks of meat that he added to her bowl, repeating the same process with his own.

“Poe, how did that girl know what I looked like?” asked Rey, as he finished.

“Oh yeah, you probably haven’t spoken to Leia yet today. It looks like we made the wanted posters,” he replied, unable to keep the smile off his face. He was unreasonably proud to be a wanted man. “You, me, Finn, Leia. The First Order has our pictures all over the holonet.

“Now some rice,” he said heaping a spoonful of the grain into her bowl. “Grab some of the bread too.”

She did as instructed, grabbing a couple pieces of the flat, soft bread and putting a couple more in Poe’s hand once it was free. “But won’t that make things more difficult now? If the entire galaxy knows our faces?”

Poe thought that through as they made their way to where Finn and Rose were sitting at a large oval table.

“Not necessarily. It may help our enemies, but it also helps our friends. Look at that little girl, she knew you and not just by your picture. She’d _heard_ of you, Rey. Your victory on Starkiller and rumored takedown of Snoke are already spreading through the galaxy, winning us allies.”

They sat down, Rey in quiet contemplation.

“Oh my god, Poe, this is amazing,” said Rose, taking a huge bite of the red stew.

“I know, right?” he replied helping himself to a bit of meat and rice. Gods, he’d missed real food.

His head snapped up from his bowl when Rey sputtered, her face red and sweaty.

“Oh kriff, Rey! I forgot to warn you, that’s spicy!” he said, tearing off a piece of bread. “Here eat this, it’ll help.”

She grabbed the bread, shoving it into her mouth and fanning herself adorably.

“Water?” she gasped out between chunks of bread.

“It’s not gonna help,” said Finn, not helping the situation at all. “Just wait, it’ll pass.”

Poe glared at the man, rising from the table and quickly assessing the square. He spied a table full of drinks to his right and headed in that direction. He filled four glasses with water, carefully balancing them between his two hands as he walked back to the group.

He set the glasses on the table, Rey practically lunging for one and drinking it down in a continuous chug. She set the glass down and Poe slid a second toward her.

She took one more sip, dainty this time, and set the second glass down. “Ok, what’s ‘spicy,’” she asked.

Poe burst out laughing, quickly joined by Finn and Rose.

“That heat in your mouth, that’s spicy,” explained Rose, still giggling.

“I like it,” said Rey, taking another huge bite.

Poe chuckled, digging back in to his own food. He watched as Rey devoured her bowl, enjoying her simple joy at the meal. He was satisfied to see that she was able to finish her plate, a portion far larger than she’d been able to eat when they arrived on Yavin.

He had seen the effects of the extra food in real time as they snuck off at all hours to explore each other’s bodies. In a supply closet on base, he found that her ribs no longer stuck out painfully against her white skin as he kissed down her chest. Out in his dad’s barn, he noted the sharpness of her collarbone had dulled when he buried his face in her neck. In his bed last night, he found her hipbones softer at his eye level as he made her sigh his name with just his mouth.

He looked over at her as she joked with Finn and Rose, the soft smile on her face illuminated by the hanging lights. Her eyes were darker in this light, a gray-green that sparkled when she met his eyes. He felt her hand reach for his under the table, giving a quick squeeze before she twined her fingers with his own. His thumb went exploring on her wrist, seeking out the roughened skin of her brand.

He could feel that they were hurtling toward that inevitable finish line - the one line Poe hadn’t dared to cross with her yet, regardless of how much she told him she was ready. She may have been ready, but he sure wasn’t, not when he remembered that he had witnessed the deaths of the last two people he had any lasting relationship with. Apparently, fucking Poe Dameron significantly shortened your lifespan.

But Rey continued to smile at him, warm and alive and _good_ , and he couldn’t help but to want this with her, to want her. The smile on her face changed as he thought this, becoming a little darker. She was probably picking up his thoughts; apparently, he was very loud in the Force. He lifted their intertwined hands, pressing a kiss to the mark that Plutt had left.

Rose and Finn exchanged a look, Finn’s eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. He had cornered Poe less than a week ago after he had seen them coming out of a supply closet together.

_“So you and Rey,” he said, crossing him arms over his broad chest. The former stormtrooper was barely a hair taller than Poe, but somehow it felt like he was towering over him._

_“Me and Rey,” said Poe, nodding his head._

_“I have been instructed not to threaten you, as you have been thoroughly threatened.” Poe couldn’t help but bark out a short laugh at that, to Finn’s incredible annoyance. “But I’m watching you, Dameron.”_

_Poe sobered up. “I wouldn’t expect anything less, buddy.”_

Poe was jolted back to reality as half of Black Squadron came crashing into their table. They’d obviously been hitting the hullstripper.

“Poe,” said Snap, somehow slurring even that single word. “Whaddya doin all the way over here?”

Poe laughed. “Eating.”

Karé giggled as Snap put his arm around his wife. Iolo was ominously silent next to them, hiccuping every so often. “Well, we’re doin’ a shot. For the fallen,” Snap said, listing slightly to the side. “Bring your girlfriend.”

He looked around, noticing Finn and Rose for the first time. “You guys, too. Shots.”

When Poe didn’t immediately get up to follow them, Snap came over, lifting him bodily from the chair.

Poe felt his eyes go wide as he was set on his feet. “Ok guys, I guess we’re going.”

Rey giggled at the look on his face, getting up with Finn and Rose to follow the very drunk members of his squadron. She looped her arm through his, allowing him to lead her to the table where Old Man Dix was pouring out generous shots of his infamous hullstripper.

Rey was handed a glass with well over two fingers of alcohol, enough to make even Poe feel it and he had about 50 pounds on her. He swapped out her glass with a much smaller pour. “Trust me, this stuff can make you go blind.”

Once everyone had a drink, Iolo raised his glass. “For the lives we lost and the lives we get to keep.”

Everyone raised their glasses, the sounds of clinking glass echoing in the square. Rey was watching him carefully, mimicking them as they tapped the bottom of the glasses to the table before throwing back the shots. It burned all the way down to his stomach where it settled in a not-unpleasant heat.

Rey coughed next to him, the look on her face telling him that was probably a first for her. He patted her back.

“That’s warm,” she choked out, tears in her eyes. Poe laughed.

“Come on, before they make us do any more,” he said, leading her back to toward the table. He took a slight detour when he realized someone had started playing a soft, slow song, a few people clearing tables to make a small dance floor.

“Dance with me?” he asked, tugging her in the direction of the music.

She looked at him, slightly alarmed. “I’ve never danced before.”

He smiled at her, trying to put her at ease. “Good thing I’m an excellent teacher,” he said, putting one of her hands on his shoulder. He took her other hand in his own. “Just follow my lead.”

***

And then they were kissing as they slowly turned under the lights, the sounds of the rebels and the music fading away until it was just the two of them. It didn’t matter that everyone was watching, they were already the worst kept secret in the Rebellion.

Rey opened her mouth after a moment, begging for Poe to deepen the kiss. He didn’t disappoint, slipping his tongue against hers in a way that made her feel filthy with the knowledge that every one they knew could see them. The heat dancing across her skin had nothing to do with the sticky air of the jungle moon, centered as it was at her very core.

Poe broke the kiss, his hips pressed against hers, guiding her through the dance. She hadn’t even realized they were still moving, she was so caught up in the feel of his hand on her waist, warm through the thin fabric of the borrowed dress. He pressed his forehead to her own as he continued to move her across the dance floor, looking directly into her eyes, an unexpected benefit of their matching heights.

She could feel the hullstripper singing in her veins, a low hum that made her just a little more brave in the soft light. She moved her mouth to his ear and whispered _I need you_ , so softly she wasn’t even sure he was going to hear.

She hated how needy she sounded, hated how he made her beg.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Her head shot up, looking him in the eyes. He’d been stalling for days now, she wanted to make sure this was what he really wanted.

“Are you sure?” she asked, trying not to sound like she was begging.

He stopped moving them around the floor, pulling her into another kiss, his thoughts of every way he wanted her that night almost too much for Rey to handle.

“I’ve never been more sure in my life,” he said, finally breaking the kiss. She shivered in anticipation, breaking into a wide grin. His answering smile crinkled his eyes that way she liked.

He took her hand and led her out of the square, the streets dark outside of the bubble of the party. Poe was in no rush, stopping every few feet to push her against a solid surface - the side of a building, a lamppost, a tree - his mouth hot on her lips, her neck, her chest. Poe’s shirt had come untucked thanks to her greedy hands, while her hair was more out her buns than in thanks to his. She finally pulled out the ties, shaking her hair out around her shoulders. She was glad there was no one on the street to see them, disheveled as they were. 

Finally they made it to Kes’s house, Poe pressing her back against the front door, his hands hot and insistent on her body as he kissed her open mouth. His curls stood on end where she continued to run her hands through them, tugging occasionally when he did something she liked. She could feel his length through the fabric of her dress, hot and hard against her thigh. She reached down from his hair, palming him through his pants. He let out a soft gasp, resting his forehead on hers.

“We should go inside,” he said, a little out of breath. She moved her hand a little, continuing to work him up. “We should definitely go inside.”

Rey reached her free hand behind her, turning the knob. Their combined weight pushed the door open, Rey falling backwards into the house for a moment before Poe stepped in and caught her, both giggling as they made it over the threshold.

Poe closed the door behind them, going quiet as he looked into Rey’s eyes in the silence of the empty house. The air became charged between them as he reached out and gently stroked her face before placing a soft kiss on her lips. He took her hand and led her up the stairs without another word, pausing only to close the bedroom door behind them.

As the door clicked shut, Rey closed the space between them, her lips soft on his for a moment before she deepened the kiss. Her hands found the back of his neck, gliding over the shorter hairs before sliding back into his dark curls, earning a low growl from Poe. His own hands were at her waist, gently guiding her backward until the back of her knees hit the bed, easing her onto her back.

He followed her onto the bed, balancing over her with his weight on his forearms as he kissed down her neck. She reached under his untucked shirt, wanting to touch some part of him, her hands roaming across the hard planes of his stomach before sliding to his back. She pressed down, wanting to feel his weight on top of her as her legs naturally opened for him to settle between.

This was all familiar territory for them so far, a rhythm worked out and perfected between their two bodies over the last two weeks. Yet this time, Rey could sense something different in the proceedings, an urgency and intent that she hadn’t felt in their prior explorations.

Her dress was already crumpled halfway up her back, showing far more skin than it was meant to. She wanted to even the playing field, reaching up to unbutton Poe’s dress shirt - he had categorically refused to wear his old New Republic dress uniform, instead opting for a crisp white shirt and dark pants. Poe stopped kissing her for a second so he could shuck the open shirt off his arms, his mother’s ring swinging wildly on its chain.

Rey used the moment to take him in, this man she already cared too deeply for. It hadn’t even been three standard weeks since she officially met him and now she couldn’t imagine being this close to anyone else. She looked up at the familiar lines of his face, using her pointer finger to trace the marks left by laughter as he made his way back down to kiss her. She felt the reassuring weight of the small ring hit her sternum as he leaned over her, tugging the chain to bring him closer.

“Your turn,” he said, breaking the kiss to run the soft fabric of her dress between his fingers. He sat up to allow her to shimmy out from under him, further wrinkling the material.

Leia had found the dress among her old things in storage on the Falcon. A gown on the former princess, the dress hit Rey mid-calf, a soft, shimmery green-grey that looked like it was made specifically for the young Jedi. Rey lifted her hair from her neck and turned around, exposing the top of the zipper to Poe. He caught on quickly, grabbing the pull and slowly bringing it down to reveal her back. He placed a kiss on the back of her neck when he was finished and she let her hair back down, turning around as she allowed the dress to slide off her shoulders and puddle on the floor.

The look on Poe’s face when he realized she was completely bare under the dress made the rest night spent nervously wondering if people could tell completely worth it. She made a mental note to thank Rose for the suggestion.

He reached out for her, pulling her back toward the bed. With him seated, she towered over him, leaning down to kiss his mouth. She reached for his belt, undoing the buckle while he placed soft kisses on her chest, finally taking her small nipple into his mouth.

She moaned softly as she undid the button on his pants, forgetting the rest of her mission as she got lost in the sensations of his mouth and tongue. As he moved on to her other breast, she reached into his pants and palmed his cock, only half hard now from inattention. _That just won’t do_ , she thought, starting to move her hand. Poe let out a stifled groan, pulling her back down into a sloppy kiss.

Then she was on his lap, straddling his thighs as her hands quested over his muscled back. He broke the kiss to work on her neck, finding the spot behind her ear that made her breath catch in her chest.

“Poe,” she said, arching her back a little as he found another sensitive spot. “Touch me.” He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Please,” she added, remembering her manners.

He smiled, that spark back in his eye, as he gently flipped her so her back was on the mattress. “Don’t have to ask me twice,” he said, moving a hand between her thighs.

She opened her legs automatically, her breath hitching as his fingers - callused from years of farming and flying - grazed her clit.

“Oh gods, you do need this,” he said, slowly opening her with his touch. She could hear how wet she was as he worked her clit, a sloppy sound that would embarrass her in any circumstance besides this. She bucked a little when he slipped his middle finger inside her, a slow slide down to the second knuckle. She loved how different his fingers were from her own, short and blunt and thick as he added a second finger.

Her hips jerked up, trying to find some friction.

“I’ve got you,” he said, leaning over to kiss her. He pressed the heel of his hand to her pubic bone, giving her something the grind on as he crooked his fingers inside her. The feeling was already starting to build low in her stomach, the one she knew from her time with Poe would eventually explode into pure starlight.

He grinned down at her, always so happy with her pleasure. “You gonna come for me?” he asked, moving his fingers the way he made her come last night.

“No,” she gasped out, her breath coming too fast. She was close, but this wasn’t how she wanted him.

He smirked at her like he didn’t believe her. “No? You don’t wanna come on my fingers?”

“Mouth,” she demanded, reduced to one word answers as he doubled his efforts with his thumb on her clit.

His answering grin was absolutely filthy, a promise of all the ways he planned to make her beg. She tried not to whimper as his fingers left her body, the sudden lack of contact leaving her aching.

He leaned over her, placing a kiss between her breasts as he worked his way down her body inch by agonizing inch. She tangled her hands in his hair, attempting to push him down her body faster. He looked up, smiling like the devil himself, and proceeded to stop his progress, kissing both of her hipbones before he moved any lower.

When he finally put his mouth on her, Rey’s hips stuttered, Poe placing a calming hand on her stomach. He settled in, draping her legs over his shoulders to give himself the best possible angle as his tongue darted over all her most sensitive spots.

She exhaled sharply as he sucked on her clit, her pleasure starting to build back up again after his agonizingly slow tease down her body. She could feel the edge of her orgasm, just out of reach when he paused in his ministrations.

“Gods, Rey. You’re so sweet,” said Poe, lifting his head from her pussy, lips shiny from her arousal. He rubbed his cheek against her thigh, knowing how she loved the scrape of his 5 o'clock shadow against her sensitive skin.

She pulled him up for a quick kiss, tasting herself on his lips, before shoving him back down with a foot on his shoulder. “Back to work, flyboy.”

He laughed at her impatience, kissing her inner thigh before he went to work on her in earnest, tongue dragging and curling. Her legs tightened around his ears, his answering laugh sending vibrations straight to her core. She was so close, starting to clench around nothing, when he sank first one, then two fingers into her.

Seconds later she found her release, her back arching as the free fall sensation overtook her. She released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding while Poe continued to work her through the aftershocks.

Once he was sure she was finished, he lowered her legs, moving to where her head laid on the pillow after he wiped his mouth on the sheets. He curled up around her as her breathing slowly returned to normal, the fabric of his pants softly scratching against her bare calves.

She sat up, looking down at him as he reclined on the bed, his hand tracing shapes on her back. “Why are you still in pants?” she asked, feeling a little mischievous as she moved to straddle his stomach.

Facing his feet, she pushed down his pants as he lifted his hips for her, fly already opened from her earlier abandoned mission.

“Here,” he said, setting her on the bed. He had the pants off in no time, leaving his boxer briefs for her to remove. She sat on the bed and unwrapped him, the underwear settling at his ankles as she took his cock in her hand, stroking him once, twice, three times.

A soft groan escaped his lips. He was by far the more vocal, Rey unused to the performance aspect of sex. All of her sounds were involuntary; Poe liked to put on a show.

_Well, two can play that game,_ she thought, getting to her knees in front of him. He had been very clear at the beginning of whatever this was between them that she didn’t need to do this, didn’t need to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with. At the time, she never thought this would be something she’d want to do, kneeling before anyone feeling too much like submission. What she didn’t expect was how powerful it made her feel. She was the one calling the shots; he was the one left shaking and moaning and out of control.

His eyes fell closed when she closed her lips around him, her hand still working the inches her mouth couldn’t take. She swirled her tongue, cataloguing all the involuntary suggestions he sent into the Force. Rose called it cheating, but Rey called it useful.

“Kriff, Rey,” he said above her, his blunt fingers roaming through her hair. He was always gentle, never tugging or guiding her mouth, but he liked to be touching her while she took him in her mouth.

She continued for a few minutes, a soft ache settling in her jaw, before Poe’s hips started to jerk involuntarily, a telltale sign of how close he was getting. With a slight pop of suction, she took him out of her mouth, her hands dragging up his hips and over his chest as she stood.

He leaned over to kiss her, his hand reaching down to presumably finish himself off. She caught his wrist.

“No,” she said, knowing she was going to have to tell him, that he would need to hear the words. She leaned over to whisper in his ear. “I want you inside me.”

He pulled back to look at her, a shiver of anticipation running over his skin. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said, cupping his face. “The question is, are you sure?”

“Yes,” he said as he kissed her, tongue sliding into her open mouth. “Gods, yes.”

They paused for a second, neither sure who should take the lead, Poe finally taking over.

He sat on the bed, feet flat on the ground, before reaching a hand out to her. “It’ll be more… comfortable for you like this. For your first time,” he finished, his face flushing an attractive pink. For a man who’d had a lot of sex in his lifetime - and he had had a LOT of sex, a topic they’d covered early on - he was awfully shy about it. She was glad they had discussed all the details ahead of time, everyone clean and protected and ready to go.

She climbed on his lap, straddling his thighs. He started to kiss her, his hand dropping between her legs. She was still slick, taking two of his fingers without a problem as he made sure she was ready. She kissed his neck, his mouth, his collarbone, anything she could reach.

Satisfied with how ready she was, he slid back onto the bed with her still in his lap, hands on her hips to brace her.

“Are you ready,” he asked, giving her one final chance to back out.

She leaned over to kiss him. “Born ready, Commander.”

He laughed before taking himself in his hand, pumping a couple times before holding steady. He guided her over the tip of his cock, the head brushing her delicately. “You control the pace,” he said, looking her in the eyes. “And we can stop whenever you want.”

She nodded, taking his cock from his hand and lining it up against her entrance. The hand grazing her hip grabbed on for dear life as she sunk half an inch, her body adjusting to the width almost instantly. Poe’s breathing was already off, his heart beating heavily under the hand she used to steady herself on his chest.

This was too slow, too cautious, and Rey had never been either of those things. She tried not to think about what she was about to do before she sunk down on Poe’s cock, taking it down to the root in one solid motion.

Poe let out a strangled sound, possibly a moan that got stuck in throat, as he squeezed her hips hard enough to leave bruises. She sat still for a moment, letting her body adjust to the size of him. It definitely felt different than fingers, no matter how he had tried to prepare her.

Poe’s brain decided to click back on then and he reached for her. “Kriff, Rey. Are you ok?”

She laughed, the action accentuating the fullness of her current situation. She leaned forward to kiss him, lifting up several inches in the process, the drag of him against her delicious.

Poe thought so too, his eyes fluttering closed for a second as their lips touch. Then he opened his mouth to her, letting her deepen the kiss, before she settled back down on him.

Rey rolled her hips experimentally, trying to figure out what felt good. She liked that and did it again, accompanied this time by Poe’s upward thrust.

“Oh,” she said, almost surprised by how good it felt. Poe smirked beneath her, thrusting up again as she rolled down and just like that they found their rhythm.

He continued to let her set the pace, his hands at her waist as they moved together. She grabbed the chain around his neck, pulling him up so she could kiss him on the mouth, his hands roaming over her skin.

She could feel the tension start to build, too slow for her liking. Grabbing one of his hands, she directed it down to where their bodies met. He took the hint, his thumb stroking her as she continued to ride him, his mouth finding that spot on her neck that made her mewl.

Her lips found his ear, first nipping then whispering “Harder, flyboy.”

She felt more than saw his answering smile as her flipped her over, slipping out of her for a second. He got himself lined up again and slid back in, slowly, watching her faced as he eased himself in. He took a moment to rearrange her legs, knees up and open for whatever angle he was looking for, before he started to move again.

He set a punishing pace like this, the sweat beading along his hairline as she reached her hand down to touch herself. She could feel her orgasm start to build, low in her belly, her eyes closing for a second to concentrate.

“Look at me,” he said in a voice she almost didn’t recognize, lower and more serious than she’d ever heard him speak. She opened her eyes and he watched her as she came, the feeling like breaking atmo for that very first time in the Falcon as her breath left her body.

She could feel herself flutter around him as she worked through her orgasm, his own rhythm stuttering and losing pace. Three more thrusts and he cried out, resting his forehead on hers as he struggled to hold himself up. She could feel the sticky heat between her legs, trying not to imagine the mess while he was still inside her.

He pulled out, Rey wincing at the drag, and dropped onto his back next to her, trying to catch his breath. He reached over and took her hand, bringing the inside of her wrist to his mouth to kiss where Plutt had marked her.

She watched as he got up and padded over to the fresher, coming back with a damp cloth. He kneeled in front of her, tenderly cleaning her up with soft, gentle strokes.

When he had finished with her, he gave himself a quick wipe, tossing the washcloth in the general direction of the fresher before flopping back down on the bed. Remembering a sound piece of advice from Rose, Rey got up and made her way to the fresher, picking up the cloth on the way.

***

All of Rey’s muscles had gone soft and languid as she laid back down in bed. Poe’s eyes were drooping as he lazily ran his fingers through her hair, tangled and mussed from their lovemaking. He couldn’t help but feel a little smug seeing how out of sorts she looked, how out of sorts he made her look.

“Come ‘ere,” he said, pulling her onto his chest. “You good?” he asked, kissing her forehead reverently. She snuggled in to his chest, placing a quick kiss on his sternum.

“Yeah. Weird, but good.”

“Weird how?” he asked, nudging her gently.

“Um,” she said, looking for the right words. “Stretched? But empty?” She blushed scarlet, like he hadn’t been inside her five minutes ago, like she hadn’t been whispering filthy things into his ear as she rode him. He knew the feeling though; he’d be embarrassed if he had to articulate half the things he said or thought or felt during sex.

“Can I get you anything?”

She looked thoughtful for a second. “Some water, maybe.”

He was already sitting up as she finished, their skin sticking slightly from the drying sweat as he disentangled himself from her. He walked naked to the bathroom, coming back - glass in hand - to find Rey sitting up and trying to completely wrap herself in the covers.

He held out the glass to her, and watched as she struggled to hold up the blankets while still reaching for the water.

“You know I’ve seen all of you,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows in what he hoped was a playfully suggestive way and not a creepy old man way. “You don’t have to hide from me.” He punctuated that last bit with a kiss on her bare shoulder as he sat next to her on the bed.

She took a sip of the water, still trying to keep the sheet tucked under her arms. “I know. It’s just,” she paused. “I always had to be so careful on Jakku to… protect my body from others.” Poe felt all the blood drain out of his face as she stopped again to take another sip. “It feels weird to be exposed now when we aren’t… you know.”

He was wrapping her in his arms before he completely realized what he was doing, the water in her hand sloshing a bit.

“Poe,” she said, a soft laugh in her voice. “The water.”

“I don’t care about the kriffing water,” he said, squeezing her tighter. “Why didn’t you say something? We could have waited. We should have waited, Rey.”

“Hey,” she said, pulling herself out of his arms. He looked down at the bed, ashamed he had let himself get so caught up in the moment. “Poe, look at me.” He met her eyes, fierce and determined as ever. “I got to choose tonight with someone I care about. That’s more than I could have hoped for had I stayed on Jakku; I regret nothing. So thank you for choosing me too.”

She placed a soft kiss on his lips, allowing him to fold her into his arms. He kissed her hair, inhaling the scent of her sweat mixed with the shampoo they both used, closing his eyes for a moment. Looking down at her as she dozed in his arms, he realized he never even stood a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue what I'm doing there, but I am on Tumblr as BatuuPrincess.


	9. Day Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unwanted visitor complicates things for Rey. Rey and Poe move on base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a setup chapter, getting us into the next phase of this story. Hope you enjoy!

_Rey is running through the jungle on Yavin 4, giggling as she tries to catch Poe. He’s in front of her, but it doesn’t matter, she can run faster, she can always run faster. She can see the Force tree in the distance - the finish line - and she can’t let him win, she can never let him win._

_She focuses on his dark hair ahead of her, putting on a burst of speed, trying to close the gap. Her breath is coming rough and ragged now in her chest, but it’s no use, she can’t catch up. He makes it to the tree first, shaking out hair longer than she’s ever seen it. He turns around, holding out his hand to her, and all the sound is sucked from the world._

_“You come from nothing. You’re nothing. But not to me,” says Kylo Ren._

Rey woke with a start.

It took her a moment to remember where she was, to feel the warmth of Poe beside her as he slept on. She touched his forearm where it was draped over her waist, willing her heart to slow down.

“It’s the pilot, then.”

Rey sat up with a jolt, realizing almost immediately that she was still naked. She held the bedsheet to her chest as she glared into the corner of the dark room, losing contact with Poe.

Kylo Ren was standing in the corner of Poe’s childhood bedroom, staring at where Rey clutched the sheet to her chest. He wasn’t quite as corporeal as he had been the last time they’d spoken, his image darkening in and out of focus like a bad holo.

“What do you want with me?” she asked through gritted teeth. She longed for the armor of her clothes, something – anything – to make her feel less exposed. It had seemed so natural to fall asleep naked in Poe’s arms last night, a decision she now regretted as Kylo stared at every inch of her bare skin. He hadn’t earned the right to see her like this; he was an interloper to her vulnerability.

“So you don’t deny it,” he said, the words projecting a cold fury into their bond that scared her more than any of his hot-headed temper tantrums ever could. “It doesn’t matter, it’s only a matter of time before you slip up, before you say something that gives your location away. Then you can watch while I destroy your little rebellion.”

Rey let out a harsh laugh, forgetting to lower her voice. “So that’s the big plan? Creep in corners until I accidentally give you what you want. You’re pathetic.”

She felt his rage deep in the pit of her stomach, completely at odds with the terror spreading through her chest.

She didn’t feel Poe sit up next to her until he placed his a hand on her arm. “Rey, who are you talking to?” he mumbled sleepily.

***

As soon as Poe touched her skin he felt it, same as the vision from the Force tree. His vision narrowed to a single point, all outside sound being sucked from his ears. He could hear Kylo Ren breathing from across the room.

“Ah, there’s the pilot again. How is my mother’s favorite son?”

All of Poe’s quips died on his tongue as he remained frozen in place, his mind revolting at the sight of that monster in his bedroom.

“What, no witty remarks this time, Dameron?” Kylo scoffed at them. He took a moment to examine them. “Rey's very fond of you, I can feel it. Maybe I’ll make her watch while I end you.”

“Get out of my head!” shouted Rey, loud enough to wake the neighborhood. Poe felt the connection slam shut, as Rey collapsed into sobs, wrapping herself around his torso while she buried her head into his neck.

“It’s ok, sweetheart. He’s gone,” said Poe, trying to get her to calm down. “He can’t hurt you.”

He heard footsteps running down the hall, the door opening to a panicked Kes.

“What’s going on? Who's shouting? Is everyone ok?” he yelled into the room.

Poe watched as his father spotted a very naked Rey in his arms, a slight blush creeping up the older man's face. The way Rey's breasts were pressed to his chest, Kes was really only privy to her naked back, but Poe was pretty sure he got the picture. He thanked the Force that Leia had moved on base two days ago.

Poe rubbed soft circles on Rey’s back as she continued to cry. “Just a bad dream, Dad. You can go back to bed.”

Kes nodded, eying them warily but not asking for further explanation, simply walking out of the room and gently closing the door behind him.

“Shhh, he can’t hurt us. It’s ok, Rey,” Poe said, continuing to rub her back.

She pulled away sharply, looking him in the eyes. “He _can_ hurt us, Poe. You heard him,” she was having trouble getting the words out through her tears. “He’s going to use this connection, wait for me to make a mistake. I’m a liability, Poe. I need to get as far away from here as I can.”

She was off the bed before he could reach for her, sifting through their discarded clothes as if she was going to hop into an X-wing in the middle of the night. He followed after her, wishing he didn’t have to do this naked.

“Rey,” he said, trying to get her attention as she searched in vain for her underwear. “Rey!” she startled, looking up at him. He wrapped her in a hug, her whole body trembling. She sank into him, exhausted. This was really not how he envisioned their morning after. More breakfast in bed and round two, less Supreme Leader apparition.

“Come back to bed. We can talk to Leia in the morning,” he said, attempting to walk her back to the bed. She squirmed out of his reach, picking her dress up off the floor.

“I need a shirt or something,” she said, holding the discarded dress up to her body. Her hands were still shaking slightly as she avoided his eyes. “I don’t want him to see me like that again.”

Her voice sounded so small it nearly broke Poe’s heart. Was this the same woman who sat up and proudly declared that she had chosen Poe? He had the sinking realization of how Ren had probably found them earlier, naked and asleep.

He realized he was furious as he stalked over to his dresser, finding an old shirt and handing it to Rey. She turned her back to him to change, the shirt hitting mid thigh on her narrow frame. She turned back around, the grateful look on her face destroying him.

He had wanted this to be special for her, not some horror story that made her rethink ever getting naked again. He watched as she wiped the remainder of the tears off her face, calming down for the first time since he woke up.

She finished dressing, hesitating a second before stepping into his arms. He was glad she was still willing to touch him, that she could find comfort in his arms as he wrapped them around her slight frame. She felt solid again against his chest, no longer trembling while she buried her face in his neck.

They stayed like that a moment before Rey pulled back, Poe loosening his grip to let her. She looked at his face, blatant need in her features, reaching up a hand to run over his cheek. He closed his eyes, leaning in to the touch.

She kissed him hungrily, projecting her own intentions in a way that even he could read them. He pulled back, shocked by what she was asking him for.

“Rey, we don’t have to do this,” he said, trying to ignore the way her hands roamed over his body.

She looked directly into his eyes. “I want to do this,” she said. “I need to feel you.”

They were both fully aware that she wanted to use him as comfort, a fact the logical part of Poe’s brain found problematic for any number of reasons. It certainly wasn’t a healthy response to Kylo Ren’s appearance in their bedroom, though at this point could either of them actually hope for healthy?

“If you want to, that is,” she added.

He knew he should say no, but the way she looked at him in the dim light light of the room, the trust in her eyes as she offered her body and asked for his in return, was too much for him.

He kissed her, allowing their bodies to fall into the already familiar patterns, his mind wandering.

There really was no way around it, they’d have to tell the General everything. He may even have to come to terms with the fact that Rey was a liability, that she’d put them in too much risk to stay. He’d leave that up to the General, but he knew Leia would figure something out. The Rebellion wasn’t in the business of exiling their Jedis, the Jedis tended to take care of that themselves.

But she was here now, in his arms, warm and wet and ready for him already. He had a job to do, one he planned to take very seriously as she pushed him onto the bed, his brain clicking off.

***

They had been locked in the General’s office for hours, Leia listening patiently as Rey explained everything. The torture, the failed training, the Force connection, Snoke, it all came tumbling out as Poe held her hand, his concern for her palpable to both the Force-sensitives in the room. Rey thought Leia would do well to teach Poe a thing or two about projecting.

Now Rey was getting to the most difficult part.

“We’re still connected, Leia,” she said, using the General’s first name as instructed. “Snoke said it was his doing, but I can still see Kylo during times of, uh, high emotion.” She blushed realizing that the clearest she’d seen him had been just after having sex with Poe for the first time. Thankfully, the Supreme Leader hadn’t been present after round two last night. Or this morning. Rey’s face heated further.

Leia looked thoughtful. “Is there any other connection besides times of, er, _strong emotion_ that pull him to you?” she asked, trying not to smirk at the obvious euphemism.

Rey racked her brain, trying to remember all the times she saw the flickering shadow. It dawned on her quickly.

“It’s when I use the Force,” she said, making the connection. “Landing here, with the Force tree, clearing the rocks, moving the ships. He’s popping up as I get stronger and more connected within the Force.”

She went on, more for herself than anyone else in the room. “That’s why he was so clear last night, I met another Force-sensitive at the party.”

Both Leia and Poe turned toward her, twin looks of shock on their faces. Leia was the first to speak.

“Who else is Force-sensitive here?” she asked, looking straight at Poe.

Rey knew that Poe was at least a little bit Force-sensitive - a point that probably helped her theory, regardless of the fact he refused to admit it - but that wasn’t who she was talking about. She was a little shocked that Leia had obviously sensed it in Poe too, filing it away for another discussion.

“A little girl from the village, Jae,” said Rey, watching as Poe’s eyebrows raised. “She practically read the inner workings of my lightsaber, said she could fix anything.”

“Aayla’s kid?” he asked.

Rey nodded. She had realized what that tingle in her senses had meant just this morning, after their encounter with Ren. She had felt the same thing the first time she met Leia and, to a lesser extent, the first time she met Poe.

“You know this woman?” asked Leia, turning her attention to Poe.

He took a second to answer. “Yeah, we grew up together. We were friends back before I left for the academy.”

Rey noticed the delicate way he said friends, something in her brain shouting _lie_.

It appeared that Leia had the same sense, fixing Poe with a piercing stare. “There is no way that child is yours, is there Commander Dameron?”

Rey’s heart started to beat out of her chest as the seconds passed, waiting for Poe’s answer. Poe looked absolutely mortified, turning a shade of red that Rey had not yet seen on his face.

“No, General. It’s been at least,” he paused, doing some math in his head. “Seven years since we last, yeah. And that kid couldn’t be much over four.”

Rey let out the breath she’d been holding, a quiet relief flooding her. It wouldn’t have changed anything between the two of them, but it certainly was a complication they didn’t need at the moment.

“Just checking,” said Leia, quirking her eyebrows. “Do you think her mother would be amenable to having her work with Rey?”

Rey’s heart dropped, terror filling her veins at the implication of Leia’s words. Poe and Leia were still talking but Rey didn’t hear a word of it. She wasn’t even a Jedi herself, how could she train a little girl?

Poe was looking at her strangely, his hand reaching out for her own, as Leia tried to get her attention.

“Rey, don’t look so terrified,” she said gently, reaching for Rey’s other hand. “I’m not asking you to train her, yet. Just let her work with you as you learn. Then maybe, after a time, you could start to teach her.” Leia squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her, but Rey’s mind was a chorus of _I can’t_.

And she had tried, she really had, after the Force tree had shown her the path, sitting down with the stolen texts for hours trying to decipher their teachings. She even asked Threepio to help, against her better judgement, to no avail. The teachings were circular at best, downright incomprehensible at worst. She had given up days ago, resigned to the fact that the extent of her Jedi powers would be lifting heavy objects and accidentally reading people’s emotions.

Leia wasn’t having it. “Whoa, slow down there,” said the General, looking down at their hands. Rey realized she must be projecting to Leia, her thoughts amplified by touch. She took her hand back from the older woman.

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, Rey,” said Leia, looking her in the eyes. It was the face she used for bad news and hard truths. “But we need you to train. You are the last Jedi, for better or worse, and we’re going to need you if we want to win this fight.”

Rey was silent for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. Poe gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, an action that did not go unnoticed by Leia in the small room.

“Ok,” she said, steeling herself for whatever came next. “What’s the plan?”

 

Rey keyed in the access code to her new quarters, the door opening with a soft whoosh.

She had overheard some of the former New Republic officers saying the rooms weren’t much, but as she took a look around, she had to disagree. But then again, she’d never actually had a room of her own, especially not one with a double bed - as befit an officer of the Rebellion. She walked in, dropping the two small bags that contained all of her worldly possessions.

The cleaning crews had been through, clearing away the years of dust and debris and making the room hospitable again. There was even a stack of linens provided, now that they could afford such things with the New Republic’s money in their coffers.

Rey opened her satchel, the one she’d been hauling the Jedi texts and the pieces of Luke’s lightsaber in for weeks, carefully removing the blanket-wrapped tomes. She unwrapped the stack, lightly running a hand over one of the covers, willing herself to feel something besides the indecipherable mumble of Jedis past.

The books called to her, she couldn’t deny that, but they made no more sense to her for all of their noise. She opened the first one, hoping it would magically start making sense, that she would finally understand what they were trying to tell her. _That’s not how the Force works_ , she thought to herself with a sigh.

It would take hard work and a lot of time for her to do what Leia was asking of her, training herself with no guidance, no teacher. Rey wondered if it was too much to ask of her, if Leia was asking for too much. But she felt she knew something about the General after spending nearly every waking moment working with her over the past few weeks. She had watched her command and grieve and rebuild a thirty-person resistance into a fairly respectable rebellion all in the span of three weeks. She was simply asking Rey to show the same dedication that Leia herself did.

And she wouldn’t be alone. Rey would practice hand-to-hand combat with a rotating group of rebels, in addition to assisting with the training of the new recruits that were trickling in by fives and tens almost daily. Leia would teach her what she knew of meditation and mental shielding, helping her to block out the noise around her. She’d work with the Jedi texts and histories of the Old and New Republics to gain what knowledge she could. Then there was the matter of the lightsaber.

Rey took the pieces out of her satchel, examining them before placing them on her desk. The casing was damaged beyond repair and the kyber crystal within cracked in two; neither piece was salvageable. But Leia was adamant that the last Jedi required a Jedi weapon.

When she was ready, she’d have to go and find her own kyber crystal, allowing the Force to guide her to the one meant for her. From what Leia told her, the crystals _sang_ to their Jedi. It all sounded very mystical to Rey, who, thanks to the circumstances of her life before the Resistance, had a much more practical outlook on life.

She opened the second bag, taking out the small collection of clothes she had acquired during her time on Yavin, including the dress Poe had taken off her body last night.

She could still feel him between her legs when she crossed the room, dress in hand, a soreness not only in her muscles but somewhere deeper. She squeezed her thighs together, relishing in the slight burn that told her something was different.

She hadn’t expected to feel different afterwards, regardless of how many times Poe told her she would. It was less a physical thing than a shift in her thought process. She felt more connected to Poe, more attached to another human being than she had been in her entire life. It terrified her almost as much as it strengthened her.

She opened the door to the wardrobe, finding several sets of the new uniforms they’d had commissioned, complete with her markings as commander. The officers would be the first to wear them, as new shipments were coming in daily. She found an extra hanger and hung up the dress next to them, opening a lower drawer to put away the rest of her folded clothes.

She went back and sat on the bed, taking in the desk and wardrobe and bookshelf, overwhelmed that all of this was hers now for no other reason than being herself. Tears sprang to her eyes as she thought of all the years spent alone, wishing for her family to swoop in and take her home. But Maz was right, her family was in front of her, not behind, and now she had finally found home.

“Hey neighbor,” came a voice from the doorway. She had left it open intentionally, expecting Poe to drop in once he settled in to his own room, one down from her own.

Rey looked up, swiping at her eyes, to find Captain Devlin leaning against her open door. She realized with a jolt that he was not a small man, broad and tall in a way that filled the entire space.

“Whoa, I can’t be that bad of a neighbor already,” he said, noticing that she had been crying. “Everything ok?”

She laughed, trying to dry her remaining tears. “Yeah, I’m being silly,” she said, motioning for him to come in. Her first visitor in her new home, a thought that brought fresh tears. “This is just the first time I’ve ever had my own bed.”

He came to sit next to her on the bed, careful to sit far enough away that they weren’t touching at all. “Well, you got a double. I’d be crying too.”

She laughed, thankful that he didn’t ask any questions or dwell on her confession. Truthfully, he probably knew all about her life before; the rumor mill on base was nothing short of impressive.

“Hey, Sunshine, you wanna break in that new…”

Poe stopped dead two steps into the room, trailing off as he took in the scene on the bed.

“Captain Devlin,” said Poe, his voice deliberately calm. For his part, Devlin stood up from the bed, unhurried as he approached Poe.

“We’re off duty, call me Jax,” he said with an easy smile, clapping Poe on the shoulder. He either didn’t sense the tension in the room or chose to ignore it altogether. “Just saying ‘hi’ to my new neighbor. I’m right across the hall.”

Poe stood there silently, so Rey decided to speak. “Thanks, Jax. We’ll see you at the meeting later.”

He walked out of the room, Poe reaching back to hit the button that closed the door.

“Kriff, Rey. Why is that guy hanging around here?” he asked her, an accusation in his voice. Now that she looked at him, she saw that he was angry. Like really angry.

Which wasn’t fair, if she was going to be honest. She had done nothing wrong; she was just talking to a friend with the door open. Which is why when her own temper flared, she did nothing to tamp it down.

“He was just stopping by to say ‘hi.’ Do you have a problem with that, Commander?” she used her warning tone, one normally reserved for Teedos trying to steal droids. He obviously didn’t get the memo.

“Oh, so now people say ‘hi’ on your bed?” he shot back, an angry flush creeping up his neck. 

“So that’s what this is about,” she said, comprehension dawning on her. “You’re jealous.”

He scoffed. “I am not jealous. I just don’t trust him, Rey. Anyone with half a brain can see that guy has feelings for you.”

“What does it matter if he has feelings for me? I don’t have feelings for him. If you trust me, and I say nothing is going to happen, then nothing is going to happen,” she said, trying to reach out for him. She didn’t want to fight with him, especially about something so ridiculous. She was all in; she thought she’d made that abundantly clear last night. And this morning.

Poe shook his head like he couldn’t believe she could be so naive. “You just don’t understand, you haven’t had much experience dealing with stuff like this.”

Rey felt his words acutely, like a slap to the face, staggering back a step from the force of them. Poe could be a lot of things: cocky, self-sacrificing, brave, headstrong, but never condescending. And certainly not to her.

He realized his mistake instantly, the feeling of his remorse filling up the room, but it was too late. Neither of them could bring those words back, they just had to deal with them.

“Gods, Rey I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching out to her. She took a step out of his range, his hand dropping back to his side. His face was lined with regret. “You’re right. I just… I’m jealous. For the first time in my life, I’m jealous and I obviously don’t know what to do with that.” He shook his head. “He reminds me of myself at that age and me at that age would have done everything in his power to be with you, regardless of who stood in the way.”

Rey sighed, already softened against her better judgement thanks to his honesty. But she wasn’t ready to forgive him just yet.

“Well Rey at this age has no interest in anyone but you,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “And if you’d open your eyes, you’d see that.”

He apparently wasn’t going to take the hint to drop it. “Rey, it’s not only that I’m jealous, it’s that he makes more sense for you. He’s way closer in age and probably comes with a hell of a lot less baggage than I do at this point.”

Rey rolled her eyes, already sick of this argument. “Do you know something the rest of us don’t, Dameron,” she said, the look of shock on his face satisfying in her current mood. “Because last time I checked, no one knew how old I was, least of all me. Oh, I’d guess 19 or 20 at this point, but I have no proof of either of those numbers and probably never will.”

He looked properly chastised at that, but Rey was on a roll.

“So how about we quit judging me based on an arbitrary number and start trusting me to know my own heart and mind. I’m not a child - I never got to be one, not really - so don’t treat me like one,” she said, looking him straight in the eyes. “And another thing, if you’d tried to befriend him at all, you’d know that he lost all of his family on Hosnian Prime. He may have more baggage than either of us combined.”

She stood for a second, allowing him to absorb all of that, before she took the two steps forward to close the gap between them. It took him a second to wrap his arms around her, accepting the forgiveness she was freely offering.

“I’m so sorry, Rey,” he said quietly, burying his face into her hair. “I’m working on it.”

Rey chuckled. “I know you are, Poe,” she said squeezing him a little harder as she buried her face in his shoulder. They stayed like that a moment before Rey pulled back far enough to plant a soft kiss on his lips. “Now what were you saying about breaking in that new bed?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We start some pretty major time jumps next chapter, then the fun begins.


	10. Day One Hundred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns home after traveling to Ilum to find a kyber crystal. While on Ilum, Rey has an unwelcome visitor. Poe and Rey reconnect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few warnings:
> 
> Kylo shows up, because of course he does.
> 
> There is a tiny bit of smut at the end - if that's not your thing, you can skip everything past when Rey says "Gods, I've missed you" and not miss anything important.
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Rey walked down the hall toward her quarters, still trying to shake off the cold of Ilum. She’d been back on base for over an hour, debriefing with Leia, and she had yet to take off the heavy down coat she’d been issued for the mission. After nearly a week on that desolate planet, she was pretty sure she’d never be warm again.

For the past month, rumors had been reaching the Rebellion’s many ears of people gone missing all over the galaxy - an entire village abandoned on a backwater planet in the outer rim; a family disappearing from the mid rim; an orphanage found empty on Coruscant. Leia and Rey had each felt a growing unease in the Force, both women agreeing that the two were somehow connected to the First Order.

With the threat of open war with the First Order growing every day, it was finally time for Rey to build her lightsaber. But first, she needed a kyber crystal.

After much discussion with Leia, she was given a small ship, something she could fly alone but could also provide shelter on any of the less hospitable planets she planned to check. Poe had insisted she take BB-8 with her as co-pilot, claiming the droid would stow away anyway if she didn’t agree.

Her mission first took her to Jedha in hopes that the Empire had missed some of the kyber deposits while they were stripping the planet prior to the first Death Star. She had spent two days wandering the ruins of Jedha City, finding nothing but ghosts and ruins on the desolate landscape.

She’d given up after the third day, one final location on the planet proving fruitless before she headed toward Ilum.

The original plan had been to make a stop on Christophsis, but Rey had a growing feeling that Ilum was the right choice, one she decided to follow after reading an account of pilgrims killed by some Force-sensitive native creature while on Christophsis.

She regretted that choice almost immediately after stepping out of her small ship, the bitter air nearly taking her breath away. Jedha had been cold, an odd climate for a desert planet, but this was on an entirely different level. Even with the heavy coat, thick gloves, and face mask, she was frozen solid in minutes, her desert upbringing and current tropical climate leaving her completely unprepared for the cold.

Rey realized quickly that she wouldn’t be able leave the ship outside, coming back after a quick exploration of a cave to find it almost completely covered in snow. She’d have to hide it inside a cave if she ever wanted to find it again.She got in, attempting to start the engines with no luck. BB-8 ran a diagnostic, the little droid chirping that the fuel lines were frozen.

Well that certainly wasn’t a problem she’d ever encountered on either Jakku or Yavin 4. BB-8 disappeared into the belly of the ship, eventually beeping at her to try it again.

She had no clue how the droid fixed it, but the engines started with little more than a stutter, roaring to life after a second. She maneuvered the ship into a large cave, touching down for what would end up being the longest week of her life so far.

But all that was behind her as she approached her door. In six short hours, she’d be reunited with Poe for the first time in nearly three weeks, their schedules finally aligning for a full 36 hours of uninterrupted time.

Between missions off world, patrol duty, and conflicting command schedules, she hadn’t spent a night (or day) alone with Poe in nearly three weeks. He’d be off duty in less than six hours, giving her five blissful hours in her own bed before she could greet him properly. In fact, she planned to greet him all night and most of the next day.

Rey keyed in her access code, stepping in to her darkened room. Dropping her bag on the floor, she decided to crawl directly into bed. She would worry about showering off the long weeks of travel when she woke up. As she took a step toward her bed, she recognized the outline of a familiar man snoring softly amongst her pillows, his back to her.

She took off her coat, stripping out of her travel clothes until she was left in only her underwear. Lifting the blanket, she slid in to bed, her body perfectly aligning with Poe’s naked back. His skin was delightfully warm on her own.

He woke with a slight start, turning to face her.

“Tried to stay up,” he mumbled, still half asleep. “You’re late.”

She smiled, burying her head in his chest in an attempt to further steal his warmth. He shivered as her cold hands touched warm skin. “I didn’t think you’d be off duty, so I went to debrief with Leia. We had a lot to talk about.”

“Swapped with Connix, worked a double,” he murmured.

Their shifts in command were 12 hours.

“Wait, you worked 24 straight hours so you could see me six hours sooner?”

He was finally waking up in earnest, his eyes clear when he looked at her. “Mmmhmm. Gods, you’re freezing,” he said, pulling her closer in to his chest. He placed a kiss here and there, in no rush, just enjoying that she was home. “Did you get a crystal?”

“Straight to business, huh,” she said, smirking at him. “No, ‘I’ve missed you, Rey,’ or ‘I’m so glad you’re home, Rey,’ or ‘I love you, Rey.’”

He barked out a laugh, flipping her on to her back as he hovered over her body. He played with his mother’s ring for a moment where it laid on her bare chest, her good luck charm. They’d agreed it wasn’t time for it to go on her finger yet, but he wanted it with her, a piece of him with her wherever she went.

“I’ve missed you, Rey,” he said, placing a kiss on the left side of her neck. She shivered deliciously at the contact. “I’m so glad you’re home, Rey,” he said, placing a kiss on the right side of her neck. “I love you, Rey,” he finished, kissing her lips.

Rey immediately opened her mouth, relishing the taste of him after all this time. She’d missed him these long weeks, having grown used to his warm presence in her bed. It had been far too quiet at night without his light snores. Plus, if she was being honest, her own hand was no substitute for Poe Dameron.

Before things got too heated, she disentangled herself from him, Poe groaning audibly as she leaned over the bed to grab her coat. She dug the crystal from her pocket, rolling back over to show Poe.

It had taken her days to find it, wandering through the ruins of the Jedi Temple and deep into the caves beyond while BB-8 kept a careful record of where they’d been. She was terrified that she’d end up lost in that cold, dark place, slowly freezing to death as her crystal continued to summon her, just out of reach.

All the stories were true: she could hear the thing calling to her, a soft song not unlike the lullabies Poe hummed to help her sleep at night.

When she finally entered the large cavern, the song of her kyber became almost deafening, drowning out all other sound in the cave. She realized with a jolt that it didn’t just sound like one of Poe’s songs, it actually was one of Poe’s songs, the first song he ever sang to her that night they arrived on Yavin 4.

Rey let the Force guide her through the cavern, past shiny crystalline stalactites and stalagmites, all the way to the back wall. It was warmer back here, warmer than she’d been in days, the warmth growing the closer she got to one particular crystal.

As she closed her fingers around the kyber crystal, she looked up to see Master Skywalker nod at her from across the cave, a soft smile on his face. Her heart lurched at the sight of him, the man who was supposed to be her master, the edges of his image a soft and fuzzy blue. She wanted to speak to him, to thank him for saving her friends, to apologize for not being a better student, to ask him how she was supposed to do this, but as soon as she took a step toward him, he disappeared.

Tears sprang to her eyes, trailing hot lines down her face before freezing on her chin. She roughly wiped them away, getting out her vibroblade and getting to work.

Back in bed, she turned the crystal over in her hand, allowing it to catch the dim light of the room. Seeing the crystal for the first time, Poe took in a sharp breath.

“Is that gold?” he asked, looking in to her eyes. “I’ve never heard of a golden saber.”

Neither had she.

She’d done a little research before leaving - as much as could be done with her meager sources - and she had found no mention of that color crystal. She assumed she’d end up with one of the standards, blue or green, though she secretly wished she’d end up with something a little more rare, like purple. She’d read about a Jedi master during the fall of the Galactic Republic that had an amethyst lightsaber, the idea taking hold of her imagination. Her biggest fear was that she’d end up with the blood red of the Sith, a sign that Kylo Ren had been right, she was meant to join him.

But the crystal in her hand fell in to the category of none of the above. It felt warm to the touch as she held it out for Poe to see, a gold so pure it seemed to glow from within.

Truthfully, the kyber reminded her of Poe, the golden warmth similar to his own presence in the Force. He reached for the crystal in her open hand, his fingers brushing hers for a split second and sending an image to her mind’s eye.

It was similar to the vision she’d seen at the Force tree, the one that started when Poe reached out for her. She’d never told him what she’d seen, the way her own vision had morphed into scenes from his life, ending with them standing in front of the tree, a child in his arms as Poe reached toward her and the young girl holding her hand.

It was that final image that she saw when their fingers brushed, quickly transferring the kyber crystal to his hand. He looked at her with an odd expression, leaving her to wonder if he saw the same thing.

“It’s warm,” he said, looking at her with surprise.

She laughed, a little surprised herself that the kyber was reacting to Poe.

Then she felt it, that faint tingle behind her eyes, the feeling she associated with being around another Force user.

She looked over at the crystal in his hand as it started to give off a soft glow. He dropped it as if scalded, the look on his face making her laugh.

“You aren’t going to catch the Force from it,” she said, picking up the crystal and setting it on the nightstand. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s too late for you.”

He looked at her funny. “What do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes, laying back on the pillow. “Poe, you can’t make a kyber crystal glow and then tell me with a straight face that you still don’t think you’re at least a little Force sensitive.”

“I’m not Force sensitive,” he said, his face completely blank for a second before breaking in to a smile.

She rolled her eyes again, a matching grin on her face as he started to kiss her neck.

“I saw Kylo Ren,” she said out of nowhere. He froze, his lips on her collarbone.

He pulled back to look in her eyes, worry written all over his face.

“Talk about burying the lede,” he said, laying back so he could see her face.

“Why did you think I went straight to Leia when I got back?” she said, pushing a curl out of his face. “Your hair is getting long.”

“And you’re stalling,” he answered, his hand on her waist as they faced each other on their sides.

She sighed, starting from the beginning.

 

_Rey had been sitting in the same position for hours, possibly days at this point, the kyber crystal tight in her fist as she meditated on the stone. This was apparently the way of the Jedi, to think at a rock so hard it became powerful._

_She laughed to herself, the sound bitter in the cold air. She needed to concentrate, but she’d been at this so kriffing long she could barely see the point of it anymore. And still there was no change in the crystal, the colorless opacity seeming to mock her from her palm._

_She was beginning to worry BB-8, the little droid rolling around the cave anxiously, beeping out warnings on everything from temperature drops, to time spent in the same position, to the last time she ate something. She reached out and patted its dome, pausing to scratch its round body like Poe did. That calmed the astromech a bit, as it decided to go check structural integrity for the third time that day._

_Left alone with her crystal, she wondered why this had seemed like a good idea, why she thought the Force was telling her to stay and meditate here. She could be halfway home to Yavin 4 by now, back to Poe and the Force tree and a million other things that could help her calm her mind enough to change the color of this kriffing rock._

_Yet even with her struggles, this still felt right. For some reason, she needed to be sitting here for this to work. She sighed to herself. The Jedi never did anything easy, did they?_

_She settled back down in to a comfortable position, trying to empty her mind the way Luke had taught her. But her mind was never empty these days, one small portion always dedicated to the mental shielding she and Leia had been working on. Leia had mainly used the technique to block out other’s emotions - a must for life on base - but had a feeling it would help to stop Kylo Ren’s unwelcome visitations. Leia had been right, it had been months since Rey had seen so much as a flicker of a shadow, but the constant awareness was sometimes draining._

_For the next hour, she attempted the fruitless meditation, her crystal still stubbornly colorless. At least the thing was warm, heat practically radiating up her arms while she sat motionless in the frigid cave._

_This wasn’t working. She needed a new plan, something to help her focus the energy necessary to claim her crystal. But she couldn’t focus, not when a piece of her mind was always blocking, always protecting her from an outside Force. And if she let down that barrier, would he come rushing in?_

_It was a risk she was going to have to take. She had to leave within the next few hours if she wanted to make her scheduled return. She was out of options and out of time._

_The hard decision made, now she needed to figure out how to drop the shielding, the process so ingrained in her daily life that she wasn’t sure how to stop._

_She brought her mind to the walls she had constructed, testing for any weaknesses, a chink in the structure that she use to bring it down, at least temporarily. She took her time, dismantling it piece by piece, eager to have her mind all to herself once more._

_When the final piece fell away, she breathed a sigh of relief, her head feeling light on her neck for the first time in months._

_She readjusted herself, her mind feeling strangely empty, before she focused all of her considerable power on the crystal in front of her. She let the warmth of the crystal wash over her, a wave similar to what she felt whenever Poe walked in to a room. Enveloped in it’s warm light, she allowed herself to reach out in the Force, finding the balance she was searching for._

_There was a change in the air, almost like the charge before a Yavin thunderstorm, and Rey opened her eyes._

_The crystal in her hand was no longer pale and colorless, shining a pure gold as if lit from within. She rolled the kyber between her hands, feeling the rightness of it, the balance in the Force._

_She stood, still examining the crystal when she heard the tell-tale rush as all sound was sucked from her ears._

_Kylo Ren stood five steps away from her, clad in his usual all-black garb, his head turned as he spoke to someone she couldn’t see._

_“…forward with Denon. All of them. Dismissed.”_

_She palmed the crystal, dropping it surreptitiously into a pocket of her heavy coat. The motion went unnoticed by Ren, too intent on the conversation at hand to even look at her. If she hadn’t seen his eyes flick to her when he first appeared, she would have thought he hadn’t seen her at all._

_He continued to keep his head turned, obviously waiting for his unseen companions to leave whatever room he was in before turning his attention to her._

_He looked toward her, a hungry expression on his face, his dark eyes taking in every inch of her._

_Rey decided to speak first._

_“Are you going to threaten me this time, or are you just going to stare?”_

_He smirked at her. “I can multi-task. I see your base is on a cold planet,” he said, gesturing toward her coat. “I would hope you were smarter than to use Hoth.”_

_Her face remained impassive, secretly thrilled with the conclusions he was drawing. There were a lot of cold planets in the galaxy for him to check, none of which were in the Yavin system as far as she knew._

_“Ah, not so talkative today,” he said, starting to pace slightly. “Honestly, I’m surprised to see you, I thought you were strong enough to block this now.”_

_“I guess I’m not as good as we thought,” she said, not wanting to admit why she’d needed to bring her defenses down._

_He smiled, the look cruel and uninviting on his face. “No, you’re_ better _than we thought. You’re better than this. You shouldn’t be able to keep me out at all, but you’ve been doing it for months. Why the change now?”_

_“Why aren’t you blocking me?” she said, trying to redirect his attention. It worked._

_He barked out a mirthless laugh. “Why would I need to? Your little rebellion poses no threat to me,” he said, disdain in his voice. Rey felt a twinge of annoyance at his arrogance. “What are you these days, 200 or so?”_

_Her heart soared at that; the First Order had no clue how their numbers had grown. She certainly wasn’t going to be the one to correct him._

_“One fighter with a sharp stick and nothing left to lose can take the day,” she said, meeting his cold eyes in a look of defiance._

_“So now you’re quoting Partisan nonsense. I see you’ve done your homework.”_

_She shrugged._

_“But you still need a teacher,” he said taking a step toward her. “I would take you back, regardless of your indiscretions._

_He reached out his hand._

_She rolled her eyes. “Ah, but you never had me,” she said, slamming her defenses back in place._

_She registered his look of surprise right before he blinked out of existence._

 

Back on her bed, Poe looked at her with a quiet exasperation in his eyes.

“Should you really be taunting him?” he asked, shaking his head at her.

She smiled innocently. “I wasn’t taunting him, I was getting information,” she said, kissing him. It felt so good to be back. “And look what I learned. He thinks we’re on Hoth and they have no clue how much we’ve grown these past months.”

That was the information that had her running to General Organa as soon as she landed. They assumed there were spies among them, similar to what they had in the First Order. It was an ugly truth of the business they were in. They kept the council small and the rank and file out of official business.

But if Kylo was telling the truth - and Rey thought he was - then the First Order had no inside information. Anyone on base would be able to tell them their numbers, it wasn’t a secret. They were poised to hit 1,000 members any day now, new recruits arriving daily. In fact, they had just started to clear out a second structure, sleeping space in the lower levels of the Grand Temple filling up quickly.

But the First Order didn’t know that. The thought made her smile.

“What did Leia say?” he asked, tracing soft patterns on to her stomach as he spoke.

“She’s cautiously optimistic. She’s gonna send a squadron to check out Denon, see if we can figure out what they’re doing there,” she said as Poe’s hands quested lower. “Gods, I’ve missed you.”

He chuckled as his fingers found what they were looking for, Rey gasping as he teased at her entrance.

“So is it taunting the Supreme Leader that makes you this wet or telling me about it?” he said, putting two fingers inside her.

Her breath caught in her throat. “You, just you,” she said, relishing the stretch of his fingers. “Poe.”

She was begging and he knew it. It felt like she’d been on edge for a month, her body craving touch and being denied over and over again while they were apart.

Poe leaned over to kiss her, his fingers leaving her body as she pulled him closer. He moved over her until their bodies were parallel, Rey’s legs opening for Poe, her fingers in his hair.

It was like something in them snapped at her touch, their spark turning into a godsdamned forest fire, hell bent on burning everything in it’s path.

Suddenly their kisses were hot and urgent, all tongues and teeth. Rey’s nails scratched down his back as he took one breast into his mouth, teeth grazing her nipple. She moaned, her legs wrapping around his waist. He was hard and she was wet and she had no clue why they both still had underwear on, dropping her legs as Poe leaned back, both of them trying to get rid of their last articles of clothing as quick as humanly possible.

He plunged into her, not pausing to let her adjust as he set a brutal pace, her hips snapping up to meet his thrusts. The slap of their skin echoed through the room, punctuated only by gasps and moans. For once he wasn’t being gentle with her and she loved it, loved the fact that she was going to feel this tomorrow, loved the fact that his hands and his mouth were leaving marks all over her body.

He seemed to get the direction of her thoughts, an devilish grin on his face as he increased the pace, adjusting her knees for just the right angle.

And the right angle it was, Rey feeling the pressure build quickly while Poe sucked a another mark into her neck, her orgasm taking her by surprise as it took her breath away.

Poe’s rhythm was getting sloppy, a tell-tale sign of his own approaching release, Rey reaching her arms around to speed up the process. She raked her fingers down his back, her hands landing on his ass, pressing in to the flesh to bring him even closer.

His breath stuttered as he slowed down, his movements jerky and disorganized, before he came with a groan. Rey kissed his cheek as his body lowered next to hers, completely drained.

“I was planning on taking my time with you,” he said, in between kisses, soft and sweet with all of their passion spent. “Showing you how much I missed you.”

Rey was panting, still out of breath. “I got the message,” she said, smiling at him. “Loud and clear.”

He chuckled, laying back on one of her pillows while she got up, walking to the fresher to pee and clean herself up. She looked in the mirror as she washed her hands - her hair in knots, cheeks and chin bright pink from his beard, bite marks all down her neck - grateful she had nowhere to be for days.

She walked back in to the room to find Poe in the same place she left him, softly snoring for the second time that night.

She slipped under the covers, Poe waking up long enough to readjust so she could curl up with her head on his chest.

“I love you,” she said, listening to his heart beat.

“I know,” he said, earning a jab in the ribs. He chuckled. “I love you, too.”

As the sounds of Poe's breathing lulled her to sleep, she realized she was warm for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna apologize in advance for the next few angsty chapters.


	11. Day Three Hundred Twenty-two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is injured in a dogfight, bringing up some issues for Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick warning: there are some fairly graphic descriptions of injuries in the italicized portion

Poe sat in medical for the third straight day, watching as the monitors continued their steady pulse of lines and graphs. She was getting better, or so they told him, but she had yet to wake up.

Two days in a bacta suit had left Rey less broken, but still banged up, fixing the broken collarbone and leg but leaving a few additional scars on her pale skin where the wreckage had torn into her.

Godsdamnit, he had told her to eject, shouting it over the comms like a sick replay of how he lost Muran. Of course she hadn’t listened to him, when did she ever? He bit back a sob just thinking about how she had looked when he found her, his first thought that there was no way her body could come back from that kind of damage.

They had been providing air support to the envoy sent to Kuat when all hell broke loose.

_“We have company!” came Snap’s voice over the comms. He and the rest of Blue Squadron were in orbit, monitoring the skies from above the planet while Connix and Leia finished up negotiations for a new ship. Rey, Poe, and Jax were on the ground with them providing an escort._

_They knew this was a possibility - the Empire had used these same shipyards, it stood to reason the First Order knew of them too - so it was no accident that they had come with this much support._

_“What are we looking at, Blue Leader?” replied Poe as Rey quickly ushered Leia and Connix back to the transport, her lightsaber swinging from her belt. Captain Devlin stood next to Poe, alert and ready to jump into his waiting X-wing._

_Snap answered immediately. “An upsilon-class and about 10 support TIEs,” he said, sounding calm. “I don’t think they know we’re here yet.”_

_Poe gave a silent prayer to the Maker for the baffling technology Rose had installed on all of their ships, and a second one to the Force in hopes that her hyperspace tracking scrambler worked just as well._

_No one was sure if the First Order had brought the tracking back online, but the Rebellion wasn’t taking any chances. Using their new sources from within the Order, they had learned the basics of the technology, Rose working furiously to find a way to combat it. She was pretty sure she had it, but it was untested as of yet. Poe sincerely hoped today wasn’t the day they found out it failed._

_“Nevermind, we’ve been made! We’ll take care of these TIEs, you guys get the General out of there!” shouted Snap, the sounds of heavy fire in the background._

_There was no way Blue Squadron could take 10 TIEs and an upsilon, there were only five of them, but with him…_

_“Devlin, Rey, escort the General’s ship off planet. Two short jumps to make sure they aren’t following before heading back to Yavin 4,” he said, already hearing the call of the fight. He had missed this._

_Rey looked at him with her typical scrutiny. “Poe, what are you going to do?”_

_“What I always do, Sunshine,” he said with a smirk, giving her a quick kiss. “Go bring the General home, I’ll see you on base.”_

_He didn’t wait for her reply, only vaguely registering the shouted “Poe!” as Devlin dragged her towards her ship, Poe already closing the cockpit to the new Black One._

_BB-8 had them in the air in no time, adrenaline singing in Poe’s veins as they broke atmo straight into the fight._

_Blue Squadron was holding their own, but there were still eight TIEs left, seven once Poe took out the one closest to Blue 4. He fell into his rhythm, a battle meditation he experienced every time he got in the cockpit. He and the rest of Blue began to systematically take out the fighters, as BeeBee let him know that General Organa’s ship and the two escorts had broken atmo._

_They hit space right in the middle of the fight, Poe cursing himself for not reminding the transport pilots to double back around the other side of the planet. He really needed to work on training these rookies. The four remaining TIEs took full advantage of the mistake, breaking off from the skirmish and pursuing the transport ship._

_The two escorts engaged the TIEs, Poe’s heart leaping in to his throat. He knew she was more than capable of holding her own in a dogfight - he’d trained her in combat himself - but it didn’t stop him from panicking as she took on the much better equipped First Order machinery in her old T-65._

_The lead TIE got a hit in on the transport, shields holding, but not for much longer._

_“Get out of here, Transport One,” he shouted over the radio, the pilot giving an affirmative as he prepped for hyperspace._

_Poe wheeled around, trying to draw some of the fire away from the transport, to no avail. The TIEs were in pursuit. Poe listened helplessly as Saber One broke off from the escort, hailing on an open channel._

_“This is Jedi Commander Rey of the new Rebellion,” she said, Poe’s mind going completely blank in horror. She was the most wanted person in the galaxy, an object of obsession for the Supreme Leader. What the fuck was she playing at by announcing herself?_

_He completely missed the rest of her transmission, instead watching as she shot off toward the planet, TIEs in hot pursuit. He watched as the transport and Devlin jumped into hyperspace, breathing a quick sigh of relief before taking off after Rey and the TIEs._

_“We’re right behind you, Black Leader,” he heard Snap say, grateful that he didn’t have to waste time giving orders as he kept the fighters in his sights._

_Rey was executing some impressive maneuvers in the lead, aided by the Force no doubt, as she continued to evade enemy fire. Poe took out another pursuer, while someone on Blue snagged a second._

_“Commander Rey, disengage. We’ve got the last two,” Poe said, struggling to keep his voice calm and professional. Up here she wasn’t his lover or even the love of his life, she was one of his pilots. He’d deal with her later, in private, when he wasn’t so kriffing terrified of losing her._

_“Poe, I’ve almost got them-”_

_“Commander, disengage. That is a direct order,” he said, cutting her off._

_She didn’t have a chance to reply as one of the TIEs got in a shot, taking out an S-foil and sending Rey plummeting toward the ground._

_“EJECT!” he shouted, watching her in slow motion, a sick sense of deja vu overtaking him as he watched the second love of his life not eject in time._

_He didn’t watch her hit the ground, praying to whatever gods were left that she was close enough to survive the impact. A wave of cold fury overtook him, shouting at BeeBee to give him all they had as he put on a burst of speed, dropping into a barrel roll and taking out the two remaining fighters with ease._

_He circled back around, looking for the wreckage, BB-8 locating it first with its scanners and bringing them down to land in a grassy field._

_Poe ripped off his helmet and was out of his cockpit running before the X-wing had even touched down, his ankle rolling as he fumbled the dismount._

_Ignoring the pain, he sprinted to the downed X-wing, relieved to find no sign of fire. It was mostly in one piece, but the cockpit appeared compressed, the hull crinkled from the impact. He looked inside, seeing that she was covered in blood but still breathing._

_He banged on the transparisteel, trying to rouse Rey enough to release the canopy. When she remained unresponsive, he shouted at her astromech, an old R9 unit, and the cockpit opened with a groan._

_He was afraid to touch her, trying to assess how much damage had been done to her body before he made anything worse. He could identify a wound on her scalp, but there was no telling how deep it was - head wounds always bled like hell. Her right leg was pinned under a crumpled portion of the instrument panel, a small, white knob sticking out of her skin. Then there was the metal, a piece of the seat apparatus piercing the soft flesh on her right side._

_Poe leaned over the side and vomited, realizing immediately that it was too much, there was too much to fix._

_“I can’t look that bad, Dameron,” said a weak voice from inside the cockpit._

_Poe turned to her, wiping his mouth as he tried to smile. “You look beautiful, Sunshine.”_

_Her breathing was weak, shallow and uneven, but she tried to smile back, the look quickly turning into a grimace as she moved her head. There was blood on her teeth._

_She reached for him with her left hand, which he greedily took in both of his, kissing her knuckles. Her right arm wasn’t moving, something looked…disconnected around her shoulder. His mother’s ring, her good luck charm, must have caught on something, digging into her skin, the chain leaving thin cuts around her neck.He’d never felt so helpless, unable to remember any of the battlefield medicine he’d been taught over the years._

_He heard the distant rumbling of engines, hoping to Gods that it wasn’t that Upsilon-class or more TIEs._

_“Did the General at least get away?” she whispered, her eyes focused on a point somewhere behind his head._

_“Free and clear.”_

_Rey’s eyes closed softly. “I love you, Poe.”_

_It was almost more breath than sound, but to Poe’s ears it sounded like goodbye, and there was no way he was ready to say goodbye._

_“Rey, no! Wake up, Rey. I know! I love you.” he was shouting incoherently, tears streaming down his face as he felt a hand on his shoulder._

They had come back for her, Snap and Blue Squadron flying to the first rendezvous and bringing the transport back. Between Devlin and Connix, they had enough medical training to get Rey back to base alive, if just barely.

And so, they’d been in medical three days, waiting for Rey to wake up.

Poe looked over at the beside table where they’d placed the personal effects they’d taken off her after the crash. Her clothes were a wash, they’d had to cut everything off her when they brought her in, so all she had was her lightsaber and his mother’s ring.

She called it her good luck charm, but what good had it done her. The cuts from the chain had left thin white scars on her neck, a constant reminder that the damn thing had almost choked her to death on the way down.

Finn and Rose were curled up on the small couch they’d dragged into the room, getting some much needed shut eye. They hadn’t left her side since she’d been brought in, sitting a constant vigil with Poe as the monitors beeped.

Speaking of beeping, BB-8 rolled over to him, nudging his shin to get his attention.

“Hey, buddy,” he sat, reaching down to scratch the little droid’s casing. It was silly - he knew it couldn’t feel it - but it always made Poe feel better.

BeeBee asked how its friend Rey was doing for the fifth time that day. The droid was taking Rey’s injury especially hard, the two becoming nearly inseparable over the last few months. Poe would be jealous if he didn’t love them both.

“No change, buddy. She’s still not awake,” he said, watching as BeeBee’s dome slid down slightly with a morose beep.

“Says who?”

Poe’s head shot up, hazel eyes meeting his own for the first time in three days.

His droid let out a joyous trill, waking Finn and Rose, as it started rolling around the room.

He leaned over the small bed, resting his head softly on her freshly healed chest, his eyes closed as he listened to the strong and steady beat of her heart, reminding himself over and over that she was ok.

She ran her fingers through his hair as he continued to breathe in and out.

“Glad to have you back,” said Finn, somewhere to Poe’s right. “We’ll give you two a minute.” Poe heard the shuffle of Finn and Rose leaving the room.

She continued the soft motion of her fingers as she spoke.

“Your hair is grayer,” she said, attempting a light tone. “How long was I out?”

He lifted his head, shifting his weight in the chair to look up at her.

“Rey, you almost died out there. This isn’t funny. What the hells were you thinking?”

She had the good sense to look at least a little chastised.

_“_ I know, I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking. Poe reached over and grabbed the cup of water on her bedside table, helping her take a sip through the straw. She swallowed gratefully, clearing her throat. “But seriously, how long?”

“Three days.”

“Kriff,” she said, taking a moment to digest that. “How bad was it?”

Poe’s tone was flat as he catalogued her injuries, trying not to imagine her broken body over and over again. “Broken collarbone, dislocated shoulder, collapsed lung, compound fracture in your femur, concussion. Oh, and the metal in your side.”

Rey looked at him in shock, lifting up the soft shirt they put her in after the suit. Sure enough, there was a long, jagged scar that reached from the bottom of her rib cage almost to her hipbone, shining a livid pink against her pale skin. Not even bacta could fix everything.

BB-8 took that moment to unleash a string of binary at Rey, overexcited by her return.

Rey laughed, the sound a balm on Poe’s soul. “Slow down, BeeBee,” she said, reaching over the side of the bed to pat the droid’s dome. “I missed you, too.”

“BB-8, can you go grab Kalonia and let her know Rey’s awake,” he said, remembering why they were all here. He probably should have called for the doctor first thing.

BeeBee chirped cheerfully as it rolled out into the medbay, happy to be on a mission for Rey.

Poe rose from his chair, his back protesting after far too many hours in the same position. He was getting too old for this, a fact emphasized by the gray popping up in his hair and beard.

“I’ll let Finn and Rose know they can come back in,” he said, squeezing her hand once before turning toward the door.

She kept ahold of his hand, preventing him from getting too far. “Poe, don’t you think we should talk about this?”

The look on her face when he turned around was pleading. He knew he was being cold, so unlike himself, but he didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know how to unsee her nearly dying the same way his ex-boyfriend did.

He took a step toward her, bending over and placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “We don’t want to keep them waiting.”

He tried not to look at the hurt expression on her face, simply turning and walking into the hallway.

“Hey, you guys can come back in now,” he said, the smile on his face feeling fake. Neither noticed, Rose reaching up to give him a quick hug.

“She’s back, Poe. We got her back,” she said, turning to follow Finn into the room.

Poe wandered in after them and sat back in his chair, strangely numb to the chattering of his friends as they reunited. He smiled when he thought he should smile and laughed when he thought he should laugh, but he was just going through the motions, unaffected by the scene around him. He knew he should be happy after spending three agonizing days wondering if she would even wake up, but in the absence of his fear and panic he just felt nothing.

When Kalonia came in a few minutes later, she had good news.

“Everything looks great, Rey,” she said, tapping away at her datapad. She checked one of the monitors, inputting some data. “We’ll do a quick scan in a couple minutes, and as long as everything comes back normal, then I don’t see why we can’t get you out of here. Under the supervision of Commander Dameron, of course.”

He smiled at the doctor. “Of course,” he said, knowing Rey would want to sleep in her own bed.

Kalonia nodded, turning to leave the room and nearly running in to the General.

“Good news travels fast,” said the doctor, smiling as she walked out the door. Finn and Rose made their excuses and followed Kalonia out, leaving Rey and Poe to talk to Leia.

Leia was grinning widely. “It does. I heard a rumor that our favorite Jedi was up and I wanted to come and thank you in person. It may have been reckless,” she gave Rey a slightly disapproving look. “But you saved our skins up there. Thank you, Commander.”

Rey blushed prettily, accepting the admonishment and the praise in due course.

The medical droid showed up then to take Rey to her scan, saving any of them from having talk.

Poe and Leia watched as the droid wheeled Rey down the hall, her bed vanishing around a corner. Watching her disappear, Poe could feel all of pain and panic and terror of the last three days come rushing back to him, a swell of emotion he attempted to hide from Leia.

He should have known better, he couldn’t hide anything from Leia, not with that Skywalker blood running through her veins. She reached out, enveloping him in a hug that held so much love and comfort, he would have sworn he was back in his mother’s arms.

He wasn’t sure when he started crying, just that he was currently sobbing into his commanding officer’s shoulder, a fact he would remember to be embarrassed about later. She held him, letting him cry it out for some minutes before she suggested tea in her quarters while they waited for Rey.

They walked down the hall in silence, Poe avoiding eye contact with everyone they passed. He knew how he must have looked, red eyed and puffy faced. When they entered a room in an unfamiliar hall, Poe was shocked to see a room almost identical to both his and Rey’s.

“I let the families have the big rooms,” she said, practically reading his mind. “It’s just me now, and I don’t need much space.”

She busied herself with a kettle on the desk, Poe taking a seat on the couch that marked the only difference between his room and hers.

He scrubbed his face with both hands, feeling raw and hollowed out from the tears, a slight headache pulsing at this temples. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried that much. It felt oddly cleansing.

Leia came over to the couch, handing him a cup of tea before sitting down next to him with her own. Poe took a tentative sip, enjoying the earthy, minty concoction.

Leia waited until he swallowed to speak. “So, do you want to talk about it?”

He didn’t, but he knew that he wasn’t about to get off that easily. “Yeah, so Rey’s injuries brought some stuff up,” he said, taking another sip of the tea.

She waited patiently to see if he would expand on that, only speaking when she was sure he wouldn’t.

“Lieutenant Muran,” she said, not a question but a statement.

Poe swallowed thickly, struggling to keep the tears out of his voice. “I almost lost her the same way, Leia. I sat helpless in an X-wing and watched as the second person I’ve loved nearly died right in front of me. You know, Muran refused to eject too. That’s all I remember from that day, someone shouting ‘eject’ over and over and watching him blow up.”

Leia took his shaking hand in her own, urging him to go on.

“I’m terrified every time she goes up that I’m going to lose her. It’s impairing my judgment, Leia. I can’t make a decision for the good of the Rebellion when I’m trying to save a single member.”

Leia stared at him for a long moment. “Poe, did you jump in your X-wing - against better judgment - to assist Blue Squadron in the fight?”

“Yes,” he answered, looking at her warily. He wasn’t sure where she was going with this, but it probably wasn’t anyplace good.

“And did you make this decision to go into a fight in which you were outnumbered nearly two to one without consulting Rey’s opinion on the matter?”

“Yes.”

“So why did you do it?”

He thought for a moment, deciding to go with the truth. He couldn’t lie worth a damn anyway. “Because it gave you guys the best odds. Because it gave Blue the best odds. Because it gave her the best odds.”

Leia nodded, a triumphant look in her eyes. “So you weren’t just worried about her, you wanted to give us the best odds to all get out of there in one piece.”

He blinked, sensing the truth in the statement. He’d been so mad at himself for compromising the mission to go after her, that he failed to recognize that he’d possibly saved them all.

“Poe, you need to let her make those same decisions. Sure, what she did was reckless and dangerous and she could have brought the entire First Order down on us, depending how pissy my son was being that day, but we all got out of there alive. You’re allowed to be mad at her at the same time you’re relieved she’s alive; those aren’t mutually exclusive. Just don’t do anything rash, Poe. You two are good for each other, don’t allow one bad day to ruin a good thing.”

Poe nodded, unable to speak for a moment, still holding on to Leia’s hand for dear life.

 

When Poe returned to Rey’s room in medical, she was sitting up in bed expectantly.

“Clean bill of health!” she said, her smile so wide, he couldn’t help but grin right back.

“Not so fast,” said Kalonia, coming into the room behind Poe. She was giving Rey a stern look, one that didn’t damper her mood in the least. “Clean bill of health, but she should be off her feet for the next week. No strenuous activity of any kind.” She fixed Poe with a look so knowing it made him blush. “Light duty after a week. No X-wings, no combat until I give you the all clear. Understood?”

She waited to receive assent from both Rey and Poe before striding out of the room.

Rey slid off the bed, a little unsteady on her feet after the days in bed. Poe was there in an instant, arms around her so she didn’t fall. She melted in to his touch, wrapping her own arms around him.

“Let’s go home,” she said, grabbing her lightsaber and his mother’s ring off the bedside table before taking his hand and leading him out of the room.

It was a short walk down the hall to their quarters, Rey stopping at her door to key in the access.

The door directly across from Rey’s slid open.

“I thought I heard you were out,” said Jax, walking over to wrap Rey into a hug. Poe couldn’t even muster his usual ire at the man, not when he was the main reason she was still alive. “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

Rey shot a nervous glance to Poe as she stepped out of the hug quickly.

“I heard you had a hand in that,” she said, smiling at the captain. “Thank you.”

Devlin smiled sheepishly. “It was nothing, really.”

“It wasn’t nothing,” said Poe, surprising everyone. He usually did his best to ignore Devlin. “If you and Kaydel hadn’t been there…”

He choked up, tears springing to his eyes. Rey put a hand to his face, wiping the tears with her thumb.

“I think we’re all a little tired,” she said, looking toward Devlin. “Goodnight, Jax. Thanks again.”

She gave the captain’s hand a quick squeeze before turning toward her door.

Poe followed her into the familiar room, the place they spent most of their time together. In the time since they’d moved on base, Rey had made the room hers, the polar opposite of his stark, bare room next door.

“I’m gonna shower off this bacta,” she said, making a face and heading into the ‘fresher. He sat down on her bed, making himself comfortable in the stacks of pillows.

He had never been one for clutter, his years in the military and the Resistance teaching him to pack light. But Rey had spent most of her life with next to nothing, and she was determined to make up for lost time.

Her bookshelves were stuffed to the breaking point, a mixture of history books, ancient Jedi texts, and most of the old holo-novels from his childhood room. She had a weakness for any story that involved a Rebel pilot, something having to do with a doll she had on Jakku.

She had various pieces of an A-wing engine scattered across her desk, scavenged from Gods knew where, she and Rose always tinkering with something in their spare time.

Then there were the pictures. They were everywhere, placed on any solid surface she had. The one of Rey and Kes the day the three of them went hiking, Poe snapping the shot mid-giggle as a woolamander played with Rey’s hair. The one of Finn, Rose, Rey, and him - arms around each other, grinning stupidly - tipsy from hullstripper at the last party Snap had thrown. The one of her and Jae when they finally got the new lightsaber to activate, golden blade reflecting off their eyes. Finally, the one of her and Poe in their orange flight suits, standing in front of Saber One the day she got rated to fly the X-wing. Their arms were around each other, Rey grinning wide as Poe kissed her cheek.

He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to think. She had so many people in her life that cared for her. He knew it would hurt at first, for both of them, but in the end her life was full. She would be fine.

Rey walked out of the ‘fresher, drying her damp hair in a towel. It was longer now, falling past her shoulders when she had it down.

She dropped the towel in the middle of the floor - Gods she was messy - and walked over to where he lay on the bed. She snuggled up against his side, his arm automatically going around her.

“Kriff, I’m tired all of a sudden,” she said, her eyes already struggling to stay open.

“Sleep, Rey,” he said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, savoring the warmth of her body next to his.

He wanted to remember this moment, the quiet as her breathing evened out, the way her damp hair soaked his shirtwith her head on his chest, how good she felt whole and warm in his arms, the smell of the shampoo she used.

She would be fine.


	12. Day Four Hundred and One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Squadron comes back from a mission with intel on First Order movements and some surprise cargo. Poe ends up with a life-changing surprise of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok people, warning time: There is some Star Wars typical violence in here, some of which is against children. Think the opening scene of The Force Awakens at Tuanul. If you would rather not read, skip Poe's flashback. It's in italics for easy skipping. I'll post a scrubbed summary of what happened in the end notes so you can follow along.
> 
> Otherwise, please remember that Damerey is still endgame, I promise.

Rey received the comm from command at 2300.

She dropped the old text she had been translating in her quarters and took off running at full speed toward the main hangar still in her sleep clothes.

By the time she made it, she was hopelessly out of breath and Connix and Leia were already waiting for her in the cavernous open space.

“Where are they,” she gasped, between huge gulping breaths.

The newly re-formed Black Squadron had gone out on a 10-day recon mission 12 days ago. They were supposed to make contact with a friendly on Cadezia and investigate the odd disappearances plaguing the Outer Rim. Black Leader had failed to check in three days ago and there had been no communication since. With each passing day, the crease between Leia’s eyebrows had deepened, scaring Rey more than she cared to admit.

It didn’t matter that they weren’t together anymore, and hadn’t been for months, she refused to imagine a world without Poe Dameron in it.

Rey still had trouble wrapping her head around the fact that he had left her. She had seen their future together, she was sure of it. That’s why it had come as such a surprise when she woke up from a nap a few days after her crash to find Poe waiting for her, an unreadable expression on his face.

_“Rey, we need to talk,” he said, not making eye contact._

_Rey blinked at him, foggy and half asleep, not realizing the meaning behind the words._

_“Then talk, Poe,” she said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes._

_“I can’t do this anymore,” he said and Rey froze. He couldn’t mean…_

_“I told myself after Muran that I wouldn’t get attached like this again, not when we’re in the middle of a war. What are the odds of both of us making it out of this alive? It’s better if we end this now.”_

_His tone was final, brooking no argument, like he had already made up his mind._

_This was about her accident, it had to be if he was bringing up Muran._

_“Attached? Gee Poe, I thought we loved each other,” she said with what she hoped was a wry smile. She reached out for him, intent on making him see reason._

_He shrank from her touch, standing up and moving out of her reach. The sinking feeling in her gut intensified._

_“Poe, you can’t be serious,” she said, a touch of hysteria in her voice. He couldn’t leave her, they always leave her._

_“Rey, you’ll be fine. You have plenty of people who care for you. You don’t need me.”_

_She could feel the tears coming, helpless to stop them. “Of course I don’t_ need _you. I want you, Poe. I choose you. Don’t do this,” she finished, hating how weak she sounded._

_“I’m sorry, Rey. It’s better this way.”_

She hadn’t even noticed him cross the room and he was already out the door.

She had no clue how long she sat alone in that room, but at some point Rose came in, sitting with her as she cried herself out.

At present, the general was wearing a look of guarded relief, while Connix smiled nervously.

“Entering atmosphere as we speak, Commander” answered Connix. “All members of the squadron are accounted for.”

“However, the Colonel said it was “complicated,” whatever that means,” added Leia, with an eye roll.

Rey looked out the hangar door, hearing the faint screams of the X-wings as they approached the base. In less than a minute, the first T-70s were landing inside the hangar. The last bird in the door was an older model painted black and orange at its pilot’s insistence; it may not have been the original Black One, but he still was. Poe set down his X-wing without his usual finesse, a fact that had Rey’s heart beating erratically in her chest.

Despite the fact that he had left her, Rey still cared for him, the two eventually relaxing into a tentative friendship. Her friends had been shocked to see them spending time together outside of work, and truthfully so was she. It was like they occasionally forgot they weren’t together anymore, Poe reaching for her hand during a meeting or Rey ruffling his hair as she walked by.Finn had taken the news the hardest, the two men not speaking for nearly a week before Finn hauled off and punched Poe right in the middle of dinner. That had been two days before the ceremony for Poe’s promotion, the new Colonel accepting his award with one hell of a shiner.

Heart racing, she found herself walking towards Black One. A member of the flight crew nearly ran her over in his hurry to get a ladder to the cockpit of the X-wing, shouting a hasty apology as she was forced to take a step back.

The transparisteel lifted with a hiss of depressurization, and he was already out of the cockpit, helmet off, and running down the steps directly into Rey’s arms.

“Kriff, Sunshine, I never thought I’d see you again,” he said, pulling her into a hug that elicited a squeak from the front of his chest.

“Shit,” he said, cradling something in the front of his flight suit. Something that had blonde curls…

“Colonel Dameron, is that a baby?” asked Leia, a look of shock on her face.

Poe started to bounce slightly, trying to stave off the cries of the child on his chest. “I told you it was complicated.”

It turned out complicated was the understatement of the century.

***

“So explain this to me again,” Leia was saying, sitting at the meeting table.

Leia had called an emergency command meeting as soon as she realized that each member of Black Squadron had a similar second passenger, ranging in age from a few months to 10 years old. Most of the children were in rough shape, cuts and bruises marring their skin, their clothes torn and filthy. A few of the younger ones were crying, including the little girl in Poe’s arms.

Poe had followed the group down to the medbay, the little one settling down against his chest as he walked. He cradled her head, his rough fingers running through her silky hair, grateful that at least _she_ wouldn’t remember this day forever.

He watched as the children hesitantly followed the medical staff, separated yet again from the only adults they knew. Poe looked over at Snap, the older man looking back at him with eyes so haunted Poe had to look away.

He had handed over his own charge reluctantly, having grown accustomed to the little girl’s presence during their long hours together in hyperspace. It seemed she felt the same way, screaming her displeasure when she was separated from him by Kalonia.

Poe had felt her loss acutely, her terrified screams echoing throughout Medical as Kalonia took her to be examined. Poe looked around at his squadron, the horror of the last day and a half etched on to every face.

In Command, Poe started from the beginning again. “We arrived on Cadezia as planned-”

“Let’s skip to the part where the First Order comes in,” she said, staring him down across the table. He nodded, taking a deep breath.

He’d been talking for almost an hour already, detailing the earlier parts of the mission and the intel they gathered before everything went to shit. But now there was no putting it off. He’d been dreading this part pretty much since he landed, knowing that he’d not only have to relive one of the worst days of his life, but that he’d have to do it with an audience present.

Poe locked eyes with his father briefly across the table. Kes had been out on a training hike with the new Pathfinders, coming straight to Command from the jungle when he got word of Poe’s return. Poe noted with some envy that the old man was in better shape than he was, muscles rippling beneath his thin shirt thanks to his long hours spent working with the recruits. Poe definitely needed to get in a few rounds with Rey in the training room if he wanted to keep up. Maybe he’d offer to work on her forms with her if she sparred with him…

Though he supposed that wasn’t really important at the moment.

He reached under the table for Rey’s hand, breathing a sigh of relief when she didn’t push him away. He knew he didn’t deserve to touch her, not after what he put her through these past months, but he was a selfish man.

He knew he’d made a mistake as soon as he’d left her room that night, nearly doubling back and taking her into his arms, telling her it was all a misunderstanding. Instead, he went to find Rose, knowing that Rey would need a friend.

The rest of the table was looking at him expectantly. He took a deep breath, pressing forward.

_They had been investigating First Order activity near the capital with their contact on Cadezia. Black Squadron had been re-formed specifically for this mission, to try to figure out why someone was abducting small groups of people from backwater planets. Poe had trouble believing that this was the First Order’s doing, no matter what Leia and Rey felt in the Force. The First Order’s opening salvo in this war had been to blow up an entire system,  random disappearances seemed a little beneath them._

_They spent days tracking their movements, missing a check in with command and their original departure date. Poe was about to call it when they received a tip about a village just outside the capital, the group deciding to check it out. It’s what they were here for, after all._

_Black Squadron went in low, keeping their X-wings close to the ground before landing in a forested area just outside the village._

_They approached silently from the north, finding cover in the thick vegetation. It was just five of them, Karé having drawn the short straw to stay with the X-wings and astromechs in case they needed to make a quick getaway._

_The First Order had beat them there, stormtroopers crawling all over the village. Poe’s senses started tingling as they watched the stormtroopers systematically pulling all of the villagers out of their homes, rounding them up in a common area. The entire scene was an eerie reminder of Tuanul, Poe shivering as he thought back to his short time on Jakku._

_Black Squadron was silent, barely daring to breathe as the troopers finished their sweep of the village. There were maybe 100 people being held at blaster point, predominantly women and children.As they watched, a trooper with a red pauldron came forward._

_“Get the children on the ship,” he said to his second in command. “General Hux wants them at the reconditioning center no later than 0900 tomorrow morning.”_

_The second trooper nodded, immediately beginning to separate the children from their parents. Poe’s heart lurched, realizing that at some point in his young life Finn had gone through this very scene. He tried to block out the sounds of the mothers’ pleading and the screaming cries of the separated children._

_Every instinct in Poe was screaming to rush in and stop whatever horrifying plan was being enacted before his eyes, yet he remained motionless, knowing that they were under orders not to engage and outnumbered to boot. He could feel the tension coming off the rest of his squadron, all fighting the same instinct to protect._

_The stormtrooper was about halfway through the crowd when he got to a young woman about Rey’s age with a baby in her arms, reaching out to take the child from her. She stepped out of reach of the trooper, wrapping her arms protectively around the baby, shielding it’s head. The stormtrooper reached again, making contact with the child before the mother ripped it out of his hands._

_The trooper gave no warning, made no demands, simply took out his blaster and shot the woman point blank in the chest._

_She fell, almost in slow motion, her eyes unseeing as she hit the ground._

_Poe’s mind went completely blank as he strode forward out of the bushes, unable to see anything besides the murdered young woman still clinging to her child as she fell to the ground. The stormtrooper responsible was dead before Poe even realized he had reached for his blaster._

_The rest of his squadron scrambled out of the bushes, facing off with the remaining stormtroopers. The second in command shouted an order and the troopers began to shoot into the crowd, the screams of the villagers echoing as they were cut down._

_Black Squadron did their best, but they never stood a chance, not against that many stormtroopers. The troopers made quick work of the villagers, turning their blasters on the children when they realized that they couldn’t get them on to the ship in time._

_“Grab the kids and get back to the ships!” Poe shouted, Snap and Jess running towards where the children stood, desperately crying for parents that could no longer hear them. They snapped up the survivors as Poe shot at random, taking down another trooper or two before they could get more of the kids. He had no clue what to do next, just knew that he couldn’t let the First Order finish this._

_Poe ran over to where that young woman was lying on the ground, her child miraculously unharmed in her unmoving arms. Poe picked up the baby, a little girl by the looks of her, cradling her in his arms as he took off running toward the X-wings, hot on the heels of the rest of his team._

_By the time they made it back to the ships, Karé and the astromechs had everything ready to roll, Poe jumping in to his cockpit and quickly hitting atmo._

_“Everyone straight back to base,” he said over the comms before they all made the jump. The original plan had been to make a couple progressive jumps to make sure they weren’t being followed, but with the additional passengers, they were just going to have to trust Rose’s scramblers._

_He made the jump to hyperspace one-handed, trying to shift the baby so he could reach the stick. The temperature dropped drastically in the cockpit, Poe unzipping his flight suit and placing the little girl against his chest before zipping her back in. She fell asleep almost instantly, the flight suit keeping her close as she drooled on his T-shirt._

_BB-8 beeped tentatively from behind his seat._

_“A new friend, buddy,” said Poe quietly, trying not to wake his passenger. “You can meet her when we land.”_

“It took us nearly a day to get back and here we are,” he finished, still holding on to Rey’s hand for dear life.

Tears were streaming down her face, a look matched by nearly every person around the table.

His story complete, Poe sagged in his chair. The adrenaline had finally worn off, leaving him shaking and exhausted in the come down. He needed to get to bed soon before he completely lost it.

Leia took a moment to compose herself before she spoke. “Did you find out how they’re determining their victims?”

Poe hesitated, realizing the hardest part of this conversation wasn’t over. “They’re Force sensitive, General. I don’t know about the adults, but every one of those kids was Force sensitive.”

Major Desso spoke up for the first time. “How can you be sure? Did you overhear them say something?”

Poe glanced over at Rey, who fixed him with a knowing look. This was something they had talked about at length when they were together, a belief that Rey held and Poe denied vehemently. His first instinct was to continue to deny it, but there really was no other explanation.

“I can feel it, like a tingling sensation behind my eyes and nose,” he paused, looking at the skeptical looks around the table. Kes was staring at him, mouth slightly ajar. “It’s the same feeling I get when Commander Rey or General Organa walk in to a room. That’s how I knew.”

Leia nodded. In any other circumstance he’d get an ‘I told you so’ from her, but she held back. He was sure he’d hear it from her eventually.

Captain Devlin wasn’t just going to take Poe’s word for it. He turned toward Rey. “Is there a test or something you can give them? Something so we can be sure?”

Poe rolled his eyes.

“There are methods in some of the texts, but those were mainly used to determine if a child should be trained. Both Leia and I were there when they landed and we can tell you without a doubt that the children they brought back are Force-sensitive.”

“Do you know why they are taking them?” asked D’Acy.

Poe shrugged. “Best guess? Some sort of enhanced stormtrooper program. I overheard the commander mention Hux and some sort of a center.”

Leia was silent for a long moment before she spoke.

“It tracks with all the reports we’ve been getting. Let’s get Finn in here tomorrow morning to walk us through the conditioning process again. I think it’s past time for us to start acting on this info.

“Connix, start circulating the news about the kids. I want them placed with families tonight. And get a list together of anyone willing to take in children, I have a feeling this won’t be our last round of orphans.

“Let’s put out the word that the First Order is hunting Force-sensitives. I want to offer sanctuary for anyone trying to escape the First Order. Devlin, get together some rendezvous points where we can safely extract refugees.”

Leia paused, turning toward Rey.

“Rey, I’m going to ask the most of you,” she said, and Poe felt Rey stiffen beside him. “They need to be trained.”

Rey’s grip on his hand turned painful as Leia spoke, Poe feeling her fear in his gut as if it were his own.

Leia went on, oblivious to Rey’s rising panic. “You’ve come so far in so little time with your own studies, I’m confident you’re ready to pass on your knowledge. We’ll give them a few days to settle in, then the training room is yours.

“Let’s get some rest and meet back here at 0900. We have a lot of work to do,” she finished, standing up from the table.

Rey dropped his hand as they both rose from their seats.

Poe could tell she was upset, but before he could turn to her, she was approached by Devlin. He placed a hand on her shoulder, leaning over to say something that Poe didn’t catch.

Pain lanced through Poe’s chest, a longing so deep it hurt. He wanted to tell her he missed her. He wanted to beg for her to take him back. He wanted to tell her how much he still loved her.

He shook his head. Gods, he was so tired he felt drunk.

He watched as Rey made her way over to the General before he walked out the door. He’d just make a quick stop in Medical to make sure the kids were ok, then it was straight to bed before he did something stupid.

***

The General finished talking, Rey barely hearing a word. Before she realized what was happening, everyone was standing up and Poe was letting go of her hand. He looked like he wanted to say something to her, but Captain Devlin came up and put his hand on her shoulder.

“You ok?” he asked, concern on his face. She nodded.

“Yeah, I just need to speak with the General,” she said, excusing herself.

Rey walked over to where Leia was speaking with Kes, patiently waiting for them to be done talking. Their conversation over, Kes headed toward the door, squeezing Rey’s shoulder on his way out.

She’d spent more time than she cared to admit with Poe’s father over the past few days as they both waited for word from Black Squadron, finding solace in each other’s company. Rey was grateful that the end of her relationship with Poe hadn’t signaled the end of her relationship with Kes, the man still treating her like she was one of his own. She didn’t want to test how far that loyalty would go, grateful that she and Poe could still play nice.

Rey stepped forward before someone else could steal the General’s attention.

“General Organa, can I speak with you for a moment in private?” Rey said, trying to stay calm.

Leia looked like she’d been expecting this. “Could you give us a moment everyone?” she said loud enough for the entire room to hear her.

They stood in the center of the room facing each other as the rest of the council filed out. Rey’s heart was practically beating out of her chest. She’d never questioned anything that came out of Leia’s mouth - leaving that to Poe and her more senior commanders - and the prospect of disagreeing with the General was making Rey break out into a cold sweat. She’d been less nervous going to Kylo Ren on the Supremacy.

She waited until the last person left the room before speaking.

“With all due respect, General-”

“Why is it that whenever someone says with all due respect, they always follow it with something disrespectful?” Leia smirked, trying to put Rey at ease. “Sorry, go on.”

“With all due respect General, this wasn’t the plan we discussed. We specifically agreed I would not have to train Jedi. What you’re suggesting? Those are padawans.”

“Times change, Rey. We need to change along with them.”

“We should be allowing these children to be children, Leia. Not turning them into Jedi Knights.”

“Is this hesitance because of the children, Rey, or is it because of you? I’ve seen you working with Jae. You can call it what you want, but you’re training her.”

“We should not be using these children.”

“What do you think the First Order is doing, Rey? Letting them be children? I’m not asking you to turn them into soldiers, I’m asking you to train them so they’re not a danger to themselves or others. If you remember correctly, I know what unchecked power looks like in a child and what happens when that child becomes an adult.”

Rey felt her face flame as Leia put her in her place. She should have known Leia would have her reasons.

Leia reached out and put her hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Rey, I know I’m asking a lot of you, but this is important. You need to show them the way to the light.”

Rey looked Leia in the eyes. “But how? Even Master Skywalker failed and he was more of a Jedi than I’ll ever hope to be.”

Leia’s eyes softened at the mention of her brother. “He struggled with it, same as you. He spent years finding out everything he could about the Jedi Order, training himself and his students according to their teachings, all for it to fall apart. The old ways don’t work anymore. They don’t need a Jedi, they need you.”

“What about Ben?” asked Rey, her other main concern with this plan. “The more I use the Force, the more I’m around Force-sensitive people and places, the easier it is for us to connect. I don’t know if I can block him.”

Leia gave Rey one of her knowing looks. “So that’s what this is about. Have you seen him since your accident?”

Rey felt a shiver go up her spine at the memory of the crash.

_Rey opened her eyes at the sound of someone retching. The sound alone would normally send Rey running for a toilet, but she couldn’t even muster the nausea required._

_Everything hurt. And when she said everything, she meant everything from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She was pretty sure that even her fingernails hurt, but it was hard to tell what was what at this point._

Oh right, the puker _, she thought, focusing on the dark head in front of her. Poe, it was Poe._

_“I can’t look that bad, Dameron,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Her throat was so dry that she couldn’t even swallow to get rid of that weird metallic taste in her mouth._

_Poe’s head whipped around at the sound of her voice. “You look beautiful, Sunshine,” he said, trying to wipe his mouth. He attempted a smile, but it didn’t touch his eyes, Rey missing the way they crinkled._

_She smiled back at him anyway, the movement sending a lance of pain through her skull. She reached out, trying to touch his face, but he snatched her hand immediately, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. She really wished he would stop crying, it made her nervous._

At least there’s less pain now _, she thought, her ears doing that weird whooshing thing._

_She saw him in the distance over Poe’s shoulder, a look of pure horror on his face._

_“Rey!” shouted Kylo Ren, Poe remaining oblivious to the noise._

_She knew she should probably warn Poe - one word from Kylo Ren and the entire First Order would be upon them, especially after the way she announced herself to half the galaxy back there - but she was just so kriffing tired._

_“Did the General at least get away?” she whispered, her voice nearly gone._

_She could barely hear Poe over the continued screams of Ren. “Free and clear.”_

_“I love you Poe,” she breathed, her eyes closing of their own volition._

She never could figure out why Ben didn’t send anyone after them. He knew exactly where they were thanks to her, and they were all but defenseless as they pulled her out of the wreckage and got her on to the transport. Yet, he didn’t act.

She’d had to file that away with the knowledge that he never searched Hoth or Fest or any of the other major cold weather planets for them. Either he was pretending to believe they were somewhere cold or he didn’t actually want to find them, neither of which made much sense to Rey.

But Rey had given up trying to understand the man who used to be Ben Solo a long time ago. Now she just tried to avoid him at any cost, a task that was becoming harder and harder as time went on.

“Not completely,” Rey hedged, trying to figure out the best way to say this. “We’re both growing stronger. I can feel him testing the boundaries of my shielding. Sometimes I get… flickers.”

“All the more reason to continue your training,” said Leia, like it was actually that easy.

What Leia didn’t understand was how kriffing tired Rey was. Tired of being the last Jedi, tired of pretending that Poe didn’t break her heart, tired of having to keep Kylo Ren out of her head, tired of having this conversation.

Rey also wasn’t dumb enough to think she could win this particular fight; it was time to cut her losses and call it a night.

 

Rey found herself at Poe’s door. She hesitated, debating between knocking and just keying in the code.

She knocked, waiting impatiently for him to open the door. She needed to talk to someone, anyone, about what Leia was asking of her, but it was the middle of the night. Rose and Finn would have been asleep for hours already, and it wasn’t like she could discuss the plan with them anyway. It went without saying that this was classified.

Having just come from the same meeting, she figured Poe would not only still be awake, but he was privy to the same information. She heard movement from within, accompanied by an odd shrieking that was getting closer to the door.

All thoughts of her earlier intentions to complain to Poe flew out of her head as the door slid open, revealing an exhausted Poe desperately trying to get the little girl in his arms to stop screaming while BB-8 rolled in nervous circles in the background.

She followed him in to the room, shocked by how bare it looked. She hadn’t been in here practically since they’d moved on base, both preferring to spend their time together in her quarters. There wasn’t a personal effect in sight, the shelves all bare, no books, no pictures, no clothes on the ground. The only indication that someone lived here at all was the unmade bed and BeeBee’s charging station.

“Poe, why do you have the baby?” she asked quietly once the screams had died down to whimpers.

Poe continued to gently rock her. “No one wanted her.”

Rey stepped closer, running her hand over the little girl’s head. She had never been this close to a baby human before, it was a little shocking how small they were, how completely helpless. She thought of her own parents selling her when she wasn’t much older than this, disgust twisting in her gut.

The little one cooed when Rey touched her, her heart melting at the sound.

“How could anyone not want her?” she asked, the words catching in her throat. She could feel the beginnings of tears pricking at her eyes.

“She scared them,” he said, his voice even. “She has some unique abilities.”

Rey looked at him in confusion.

“Here,” he said, putting the child in to her arms. Rey panicked for a second, having never held a baby before. “Support her head, she’s still a little wobbly.”

Rey looked down at the little girl smiling peacefully in her arms. She took her chubby hand and reached for Rey, Rey giving her a finger to hold on to.

As soon as the girl made contact, an image of a blonde woman not much older than Rey took over her vision, accompanied by a feeling of longing.

Rey looked at Poe in alarm, Poe nodding his head sadly.

“Turns out, people are accepting of Force abilities to a certain extent; apparently projections of dead mothers are where they draw the line. I couldn’t leave her alone in medical, she deserves better than that. Kalonia thinks she’ll eventually grow out of it or at the least forget her mother’s face.”

Rey thought that sounded even more sad than remembering. She knew what it was like to forget.

Rey turned her attention back to the baby softly dozing in her arms. “Does she have a name?”

Poe reached out, stroking the little girl’s face with a single finger. “If she does, she’s not sharing it with me.”

“Well then, you need to give her a name. Isn’t that one of your specialities?” she said, nudging him with her shoulder.

He smiled at that, continuing to look at the baby’s face. “I know, but nothing seems right. Everything seems a little hopeless right now.”

“I don’t know, she looks like hope to me.”

“Hope. I like that,” he said, looking Rey in the eyes. “Hope.”

She read his intentions a second before he acted, the baby in her arms slowing her down just enough that she couldn’t dodge the kiss.

His lips on hers felt like coming home, to the first real home she ever had. She could feel the heat build immediately, almost allowing herself to give in to it before she took a step back.

“No.”

Poe backed off instantly, his arms dropping from where they had reached out to embrace her. He fiddled with the ring around his neck, the one she gave back to him after he left her for no reason at all.

BB-8 beeped once before heading to its charging station and promptly switching off.

“Rey, I was wrong. I was so wrong. From the moment-”

She held up the hand that wasn’t holding the baby, cutting him off.

“No, Poe. You don’t get to love me when it’s convenient for you.”

“Is this because of Devlin? Are you together?” he asked, misery etched into his features.

She shook her head. Apparently they were back to this. “No, I’m not with Devlin. And if I was, it would be none of your business. You left me, Poe. You stopped loving me, not the other way around.”

“Sunshine,” she visibly cringed at the use of the nickname. “I never stopped loving you. Please,” he said, tears in his eyes.

Rey chose to ignore his plea.

“It’s been a long couple of days, how about you get some sleep and I’ll stay up with the baby,” she said, leading him to the bed. He went easily, his exhaustion bleeding in to the Force.

He got in to bed fully clothed, Rey sitting next to him on the mattress, her back against the headboard. He put his head in her lap, using her thighs as a pillow, the tears soaking in to her sleep pants. He fell asleep almost immediately, the fingers of her free hand carding through his hair.

She laid the baby down on the mattress next to them, the little girl opening her eyes for a second before drifting back off. She’d talk to Kes tomorrow to see if he had a crib or something from when Poe was little. She needed a place of her own to sleep.

“Goodnight, Hope,” she said, settling in for the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Poe and Black Squadron on Cadezia when they get word of First Order activity just outside the capital. They investigate and find the FO rounding up an entire village, separating the children from the adults. All hell breaks loose and Black Squadron ends up bringing the some of children back with them.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'm on Tumblr as [BatuuPrincess](https://batuuprincess.tumblr.com).


	13. Day Four Hundred Seventy-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A group of defecting stormtroopers arrive on base with a mission for the Rebellion, while Rose, left behind again, deals with her own issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's dig a little deeper into the supporting players, shall we.

Finn and Rey had been working with the new recruits in the training room when the call came in. It was one of Finn’s least favorite duties - not because he didn’t enjoy fighting, in fact it had been one of his specialties in the First Order - but because he was teaching them how to take down stormtroopers.

Rey would break down the moves - teaching hand-to-hand combat as only she could, quick and dirty and honed over many lonely years protecting herself in the desert - while Finn, well Finn would show them how to exploit all of the weaknesses, the chinks in the stormtroopers’ armor.

He’d show them where various joints in the armor left them exposed, perfect for blaster fire. He’d tell them the ways in which the helmets protected their inhabitants, and all the ways they didn’t. He’d demonstrate exactly where to hit so the bulky armor and gravity did the work for them, bringing a trooper down to the ground to be dealt with in other ways.

It was an uncomfortable feeling, teaching people to kill one of his own. _No, not one of my own,_ Finn reminded himself forcibly. He was a Lieutenant in the rebel army, a member of the Rebellion Command, a man with a name and not a number. He was Finn, not FN-2187.

Sometimes he needed to be reminded.

Rose was the best at that, reminding him of who he was and how he got there. For someone whose first act upon meeting him was to knock him out and accuse him of deserting, she had become his biggest champion, instrumental in Finn’s decision to join Rebellion Leadership.

Finn had been offered a position in command the day after Poe and Black Squadron had returned to base with a bunch of kids, having saved them from a fate similar to his own. Only now, the First Order wasn’t content with just regular children, they were stealing Force-sensitive children, no doubt for some sickening plan spearheaded by Hux and Ren.

It had surprised him that Hux would deal with Force users at all, the man had a hatred for anything that couldn’t be explained by science. Yet, he could see the appeal of brainwashing and subjugating Force sensitives to a man like Hux, especially when he could hold it over the head of Kylo Ren.

Finn’s role in the Rebellion relied on his deep knowledge of the First Order and their methods. He’d struggled at first, waking Rose up with his nightmares almost daily as he was forced to delve deeper and deeper into his programming. She’d help him talk through it, trying to figure out the identity of the woman he watched die every night.

The details of the dream were always shifting - the locations changing, the missions different - but one thing remained the same: the woman.

She was always there and always just out of reach, her fingers slipping through his as blaster fire rang out or the explosions went off. He would watch her fall to the ground, a look of surprise on her smooth, dark face, like she didn’t quite believe what was happening.

Her face haunted him during the daylight hours, something familiar about the curve of her cheek and the braids in her hair, the soft sound of beads clinking stirring something deep in his subconscious.

Rose thought the woman was his mother, but without a name or a planet there wasn’t a lot he could do about it. Not unless they could get into the First Order’s records.

The sound of Rey’s voice brought him back to the task at hand. She was teaching them a move they found especially effective in overbalancing unsuspecting troopers, Finn walking around correcting placement, when their comms went off simultaneously.

Finn and Rey exchanged a look before taking off toward the landing pad, neither caring that their students were following.

By the time they made it out of the hangar and in to the late morning sun, a crowd had gathered on the duracrete, looking skyward. Rey and Finn joined the back of the group, both struggling to see where Poe and General Organa were standing just a little in front of the assembled crowd.

Rose jogged up to them from the hangar covered in some kind of engine fluid, Finn not caring as he put an arm around her shoulders and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“Do you know what’s going on?” asked Rey, tension coming off her in waves. It was unusual for them to gather like this in the middle of the day, no warning.

“Patrols caught a First Order transport next system over,” Rose said, standing on tiptoes to try to see over people’s heads. “The General dispatched Stiletto and Daggar, and it sounds like they’re bringing them in.”

Finn exchanged a look with Rey over Rose’s head. There were very few reasons why they would attempt to bring in a First Order ship rather than simply blow it out of the sky.

They all looked up as they heard the tell-tale cracks of one ship after another breaking the atmosphere.

X-wings flanked the small transport, the ships slowing as they approached the landing strip. A group of Pathfinders came forward, led by Kes, blasters raised and aimed at the First Order vessel as it set down gently on the duracrete.

Finn watched as the ramp lowered with a hiss, passing a tense moment before the first stormtroopers started down the ramp, arms raised in the galactically accepted gesture for ‘don’t shoot.’ One of the troopers came forward, obviously their selected representative, speaking in his heavily modulated voice.

“We are the spark! We are the spark!” he shouted, hands still raised.

Finn felt a jolt go through him at the words. They’d been feeding the line to the stormtroopers through their contacts, a code so they’d know who they could talk to. Anyone in the know would be able to complete the line; everyone else would dismiss it as nonsense.

“I’m going to remove my helmet, please don’t shoot.”

All of the guards tensed as the man in white slowly reached for his helmet, carefully pulling it off his head to reveal a man similar in age to Rey, his dark skin a shade or two lighter than Finn’s.

He held the helmet in his left hand as he raised both arms over his head again. “We’re here to see FN-2187.”

Finn froze, Rey and Rose both turning to look at him wide-eyed, as the rest of the crowd murmured nervously.

General Organa turned around to face the assembled group, projecting her voice over the sounds of the crowd. “Could someone please let Finn know he has company.”

***

Leia was pacing in the meeting room, everyone on edge as Finn continued to talk to the stormtrooper in her office.

The de facto leader of the First Order defectors had flat out refused to speak to anyone but FN-2187, the councilagreeing to his terms, if only to get answers sooner. They’d been in there for nearly an hour, the rest of Rebellion leadership left to stew while they waited.

She sincerely hoped that this was not some sort of elaborate trap sent by her son and his general to take advantage of her kind and trusting nature. She laughed internally at that, knowing that her son believed her to be cold and heartless, caring more about her causes than about him. These days that was probably true, as she preferred to think of her son as dead, murdered by Kylo Ren years ago. She supposed it was true, from a certain point of view.

Leia was quite happy with her decision to bring Finn on board. He had initially been assigned to help Kes with training ground troops, Leia seeing almost immediately that the First Order had been wasting his talents when they assigned him to janitorial.

Finn was a fierce fighter, with an innate ability to size up an opponent’s weakness and exploit it. He could pick up any weapon and use it effectively, his aim deadly accurate.

She had struggled to find a place for him on the council, reasoning that with Kes she already had her expert on ground forces, that is, until they had figured out what the First Order was up to. Now she needed someone with intimate knowledge of the enemy, someone who had been through the conditioning and come out the other side, someone like Finn to guide them as they figured out what to do next.

Reports had been trickling from their contacts about division in the highest ranks of the First Order, namely, between those loyal to her son and those loyal to Hux. The chaos was obviously working in their favor, allowing them to get messages and instructions to the stormtroopers. This defection, small as it was, would hit the First Order hard, further driving a wedge between Hux and Ren, forcing the rest of the leadership to take a side.

Speaking of taking sides, Rey stood with Captain Devlin, his arm around her as he placed a soft kiss on the side of her forehead. Leia shook her head as Poe tried and failed to keep the misery off his face from a few feet away.

Poe, idiot man that he was, had pushed Rey away and was now somehow surprised and hurt that she had moved on. Though to his credit, Rey had chosen her new man for maximum impact, the only man on base Poe actively disliked.

She reminded herself once more to stay out of it. She knew from experience that the only way to figure it out was on your own.

She should have been worrying about more important things, not observing the holo-drama unfolding in her leadership council, but it was too much fun watching them try to figure out what everyone else already knew. The dashing pilot would get the Jedi in the end, she didn’t even need to Force to tell her that.

She sighed, walking over to Poe. For the time being, they could both use the distraction.

***

Finn sat across from the defector as General Organa closed the door behind her. There were two guards posted on the other side of the door, but Finn didn’t expect any trouble from the man in front of him. He’d risked a fate worse than death to come here, he wasn’t going to jeopardize this by doing something stupid like attacking Finn.

They’d found the pilot and co-pilot tied up in the cargo hold when they’d finally boarded the transport, the rest of the stormtroopers safely detained in the base. They’d realized pretty quickly that they had nowhere to put them; they weren’t exactly in the business of taking prisoners. So the five other members of the squad, along with the pilot and co-pilot, were locked in the deepest part of the basement, in an old root cellar where they kept all of the moth-eaten flight suits and old blankets from the last rebellion.

They’d kept him in the uncomfortable armor, Finn knowing from experience that the suits really weren’t made to sit in.

“I’m not really sure how to do this,” said the man, looking up at Finn. He had strange eyes, a gold so bright they almost glowed.

“How about you start with your name,” said Finn, not really where to start either. He had never worked in interrogation, and anyway he didn’t think this was that type of conversation. They were just talking.

“TK-1138, general infantry,” he said, sticking out his hand to shake.

Finn took the proffered hand. “Lieutenant Finn Tico, Rebellion Command.”

***

Rose was sick to fucking death of being left behind.

As soon as the stormtrooper had opened his mouth, all of her friends had scurried off to Central Command to do Maker knew what, leaving Rose to her own devices yet again. It’s not like she had pretty much single-handedly brought their entire fleet online or invented not only the technology to mask ships’ energy signature but also the technology to block hyperspace tracking. Oh wait, that’s exactly what she had done, yet it still wasn’t enough to earn her a seat at the table.

So she was once again under one of the scout ships they had just acquired, trying to figure out where the kriffing coolant was leaking from.

She paused for a moment to take a deep breath, trying to remember all the reasons why she joined the Resistance (now Rebellion) in the first place. Of course, none of those reasons had anything to do with getting a promotion or joining the leadership council, but rather bringing down the organization that had taken so much from her.

It still didn’t hurt any less.

She just needed to remember what was important. Her friends were safe, she had a home, and, thanks to Finn, she had a family once again.

She still couldn’t believe they had actually done it, saying the vows in front of the entire Rebellion and having the General pronounce them man and wife. They’d only known each other a little over year, but it had been one hell of year, spent healing and rebuilding and growing together. Plus, they were in the middle of a kriffing war. Survival was not a given, and there was no way in hells that the love of her life would go to his grave without a last name.

That led her to Rey, the other member of their little ragtag group without a last name.

Oh, she could kill Dameron for that nonsense, somehow convincing himself he was cursed and Rey was safer without him.

He had found Rose right after he left Rey that night.

_The slap rang out in the empty corridor, her hand stinging from the contact._

_“You coward,” Rose said, possibly more angry than she’d ever been in her life. She was practically shaking with it, the color rising in her cheeks. “Things get tough and you just run?”_

_“Tough? She almost died, Rose.”_

_“Yeah, Poe. Almost. She_ almost _died. Meaning, she’s still alive,” said Rose, trying to make the man in front of her see reason. She should have known better._

_“Her heart stopped three times on the way back to base,” he said quietly, his eyes shining with fresh tears. “She died in my arms three times.”_

_“But she came back. She came back to you and now you’re going to leave her because you’re afraid to lose her? That makes no sense, Poe. You’re losing her anyway.”_

_“Everything I touch turns to shit. She’s better off without me.”_

_“Is that what you told Paige too?”_

_He ignored the jab. “Just make sure she’s ok. Please, Rose.”_

_“Switch off, Dameron. I’m doing this for Rey, not for you,” she said, turning around and heading toward Rey’s quarters._

It served him right that Rey had moved on, though Rose couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy with the whole situation. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Captain Devlin - he was hot as hells and seemed to treat Rey right - it was that _Rey_ didn’t seem to like him.

Oh, the Jedi was going through the motions - and if you didn’t know her, it looked like the real deal - but there was no spark there. It was obvious to anyone who had spent time with Rey and Poe when they were together. Those two had practically broke out in flame when they were in a room together, their energy both enviable and a little embarrassing. Rey and Devlin? They were lukewarm at best.

She moved to adjust another hose, still unable to find the origin of the steady drip, drip, drip of coolant, her blood pressure edging up another notch.

She took another deep breath, willing herself to calm down if for no other reason than the little secret she was carrying.

Rose placed a greasy hand on her stomach, surely leaving behind a healthy stain. She couldn’t feel anything - of course she couldn’t feel anything, not yet at least - but the action gave her some comfort.

Oh she knew it wasn’t ideal, but that’s where she was at. For all her lectures to Rey on safe sex, Rose was the one who ended up pregnant in the middle of a war. The irony did not escape her.

She hadn’t even told Finn yet, a fact that was weighing heavily on her conscience as the days stretched into weeks. Somehow there was just never the right time, always an excuse to put it off just one more day.

_Soon,_ she promised her little secret. _Soon._

_***_

All heads turned as the door to their meeting room swung open. Finn walked in to the room, looking pleased with himself as he searched the faces around him. Leia left Poe where they had been talking about trade routes, making her way to the former stormtrooper.

“What did he have to say?” she asked, cutting to the chase. The room was completely silent, everyone just as eager to hear what Finn had to say.

“They’re infantry, assigned yesterday to pick up another group of children from an enclave on Lothal. Orders were to kill anyone over the age of twelve and bring the children to Arkanis for programming. When they got to Lothal, they couldn’t do it. There wasn’t enough room to bring everyone with them, so they left half their squadron there to protect the village and the rest came here to ask for our help.

“We have six hours before they’re due back on Arkanis. We have to get to Lothal before the First Order realizes they’ve defected.”

Leia took a deep breath, weighing her options. On one hand, they’d been given the chance to save families from a terrible fate at the hands of the First Order. On the other hand, the First Order had laid a trap tailor-made for their cause that they were about to walk right in to.

Kriffing Arkanis. She had hated the planet since it’s Senator outed her as Vader’s daughter back when she served the New Republic. And now it kept popping up over and over again, first from Lando and now by these stormtroopers.

At her last meeting with Calrissian, he had told her that shell companies were buying up his company’s droids, sending them to Arkanis in droves. That would make sense if they were programming and training the children there.

She searched her feelings the way that Luke had taught her all those years ago. She wasn’t sure if it was the Force or her own conscience telling her they needed to act, but she was gonna go with it. It hadn’t steered her wrong yet.

“Ok Jax, I want Dagger, Stiletto, and Blue in the sky over Lothal with you as command. Kes, I need Pathfinders on a transport ready to mobilize. We don’t know if we’re walking in to trap, so stay sharp. Any sign of the First Order and we’re gone, understand? We’re not ready to meet them as equals and I’ll be damned if I lose my entire fleet again. Rey, you’re with me on the transport. Poe, I’m going to need you in the command center.”

She could see Poe starting to object, no doubt some nonsense about being more useful in an X-wing.

“Did I stutter Colonel Dameron? That was an order. One of us needs to stay behind, and I’m the ranking officer.We leave in ten minutes.”

The entire room broke into chaos, Captain Devlin giving Rey a quick kiss before running off to get his squadrons in the sky. Kes was already out the door, no doubt putting together the group for the transport. Rey and Poe followed, heading in opposite directions just outside the door.

Finn was still standing in front of Leia, a look of uncertainty on his face.

“General, where do you want me?”

“You wouldn’t like it if I asked you to stay behind and acclimate the stormtroopers, would you?”

He tried and failed to hide the disappointment on his face. “No, ma’am. But if that’s an order…”

“Get on the transport. If the stormtroopers are asking for you by name, you must be a big deal.”

His answering grin was blinding.

***

Rose had finally found the source of the coolant leak and was working a new hose on to the valve when her comm started beeping.

She slid out from under the ship, grabbing her comm just as Captain Devlin’s voice came through.

“We need Dagger, Stiletto, and Blue prepped, along with Strike One,” he said, sounding slightly out of breath. “We’re in the air in ten.”

“Roger,” said Rose, clicking off the comm and turning to the hangar at large. Ten minutes was a lifetime in flight prep, usually they had less than five. “Sound the ready, we need Dagger, Stiletto, and Blue up in ten.” She pointed to a young tech next to her as the alarms started to sound. “You, make sure we’ve got all the astromechs loaded.”

She walked over to Devlin’s ship, starting the prep sequence herself.

There was another crew prepping a transport out on the landing zone, a group of Kes’s brand new Pathfinders jogging past her toward the ship, followed by Kes and Leia. Rose caught Rey as the Jedi walked past her, clipping her lightsaber on to a belt.

“What’s going on?” asked Rose, Rey stopping to adjust the weapon at her hip.

“Rescue mission. We’re trying to get to some Force-sensitives before the First Order realizes those stormtroopers defected and sends backup.”

Finn walked up to them, armed to the teeth in his new officer’s uniform. “Come on Rey, we’ve got to go,” he said, leaning down and placing a quick kiss on Rose’s forehead.

Rey took off towards the transport, Rose grabbing Finn’s arm so he couldn’t follow.

“Hey, I’ve gotta go,” he said, looking down at where her hand held his wrist.

She hesitated a second before pressing her lips to his. There wasn’t time to kiss him properly, but she was going to try anyway, her lips attempting to say everything she couldn’t quite get out.

“I love you. Come back to me,” she said, pulling away from him. They were both a little breathless, Finn forgetting momentarily where he needed to be as he looked into her eyes.

“Finn!” came a shout from the transport, Rose letting him go to join the rest of the crew.

“I promise!” he shouted back to her before he shot up the ramp and into the transport.

Now definitely wasn’t the right time, not when he was headed into what was surely a dangerous mission and quite possibly a trap. He didn’t need to be distracted.

So Rose stood and watched as the transport took off, the tears falling down her face totally not her fault.

She ran out of the hangar, finding a relatively empty hallway where she could sit down and cry in peace.

“Rose? Are you ok?” said a voice directly in front of her. She picked her head up to find Poe crouched down in front of her, concern in his eyes.

“I’m…I’m..” She meant to say fine, she really did. “I’m pregnant,” she said, the last word coming out in a sob.

Poe’s eyes widened for a second, but he recovered quickly, sitting down next to her while he pulled her into a hug.

Rose thought she’d been crying hard before, but it was nothing compared to the deluge that came when Poe took her into his arms - no questions asked - despite the fact that she spent the better part of this year barely speaking to him.

“I--I’m so-sorry, Poe. I’ve been t-terrible,” she said, through the tears. He held her tighter, rubbing her back.

“Shhh, it’s not important, Rose.”

It took a while for her to calm down, her tears drying up long before her breath stopped hitching, a slight hiccup shaking them every so often. He let her breathing return to normal before he spoke again.

“So, big news, huh?” he said gently, letting her pull away to wipe her face. For a second she thought she would burst into tears again, but she held it together. Barely.

“You’re the first person I’ve told,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I think it went well, don’t you?”

He laughed at that, her own smile feeling natural as it spread across her face.

“I haven’t told Finn yet,” she said, looking down at her hands. “I keep trying to, but it’s never the right time. And now he’s off Gods know where, on some mission that could very well be a trap, and he doesn’t even know.”

She was starting to cry a little bit again, Poe throwing an arm around her so she could rest her head on his shoulder.

“We’re in the middle of a war, I don’t think there’s going to be a good time to tell him. You’ve just gotta do it. He’s gonna be thrilled, Rosie.”

“But this wasn’t part of the plan. I fucked u-”

“Hey,” he said turning to her as he interrupted. “It doesn’t matter. If you want this baby, he’s gonna want this baby.”

“I do,” she said, nodding. “I really do.”

“Then, it’s settled,” he said, groaning a little as he picked himself off the ground. He held his hand out to her. “C’mon, I’m way past due in command. We can keep an eye on all of them together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	14. Day Five Hundred Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe struggles with fatherhood as the Rebellion gets ready to welcome new members. Rey trains the children with a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, just under two weeks since the last update. While I'd love to promise this won't happen again, I'm headed into another busy season at work (yay, tax deadlines!), followed by a nine-day vacation, so I'll probably be a little slower at updating. 
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy!

Poe’s eyes shot open in the middle of the darkened room, his brain taking a second to register where he was and why he was now awake. He had fallen asleep fully clothed, again, his data pad resting on his chest as he sat propped against his headboard. He tentatively stretched his neck, the muscles protesting their rough treatment over the past few hours as one of the vertebrae popped.

The soft crying from the crib was quickly building to a scream, Poe’s sleep-addled brain finally registering the sound as he rolled off the bed, ignoring the tightening in his lower back.

BB-8 rolled off its charger, giving Poe a worried beep.

“She’s ok,” said Poe to the droid. “Probably just getting another tooth.”

Hope was already sitting up in the crib, her arms outstretched as Poe approached. She quieted back down to a whimper as Poe brought her up to his shoulder, giving her the little doll Rey fashioned out of one of his old flight suits to chew on. After a quick diaper check (dry), he patted her back as he half-walked, half-bounced across the small room under BeeBee’s watchful eye, drool soaking the shoulder of his shirt.

Her breathing had evened out by the second pass, and by the third, she was fast asleep, Poe dropping onto the bed with a heavy sigh. Hope had woken him up like this three of the past five nights, Poe getting progressively less sleep as the week wore on. He shifted her to a better position, reaching over to his nightstand to grab his chrono. He had an hour before today’s sitter arrived, one of the three or so in the rotation Leia had set up for him in the beginning after he showed up for his shift in command with the baby two days in a row.

The smart thing would be to use these stolen moments while Hope actually slept to take a shower and make himself presentable before his meetings today, but Poe had never pretended to be smart. He laid back on the pillows as Hope’s warm weight settled on his chest, eyes drifting closed before he even had a chance to make a real decision.

 

“You look like shit,” said Kes as Poe sat down at the table, setting his cup of caf down in front of him.

“Gee, thanks Dad,” he said as he took a sip. It was his third cup of the morning and it barely took the edge off, the headache building behind Poe’s eyes promising to be a menace all day. “I think Hope’s cutting another tooth.”

“How about I take her off your hands tonight? Hope and I can hang out at the farm and you can get a full night’s sleep. Win-win.”

Poe shook his head, taking another sip of caf. “Nah, I’ll be fine. I know what I signed up for, this is part of the job description.”

Well, that was half true. When he had made the decision to take in the little girl no one wanted - sleep deprived and sentimental after spending twenty hours with her cuddled to his chest - he had thought he knew what he was signing up for. He assumed fatherhood would come to him like everything else in life - easily, after a little hard work.

He wanted to laugh at how naive he had been.

There was nothing about his new life that was easy, not the sleep deprivation or the fact that he hadn’t flown an X-wing in three months or the teething or all of these kriffing meetings. Then there was the guilt. He felt guilty about leaving Hope with near-strangers while he worked. He felt guilty that he couldn’t do more for the Rebellion now that he had Hope. It didn’t matter what he did, he just felt guilty.

When he was working, he wanted nothing more than to be spending time with his little girl. When he was with Hope, he sometimes wished he still had the ability to jump into an X-wing at the first sign of trouble. It was like he couldn’t win, and Poe Dameron did not care for losing.

“Yeah, but you don’t need to do it alone. Everyone needs a little help sometimes, even you,” said Kes, taking a sip from his own cup.

Poe rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the gritty feeling. Maybe if he just got more than two hours of sleep at a time, everything would make sense again. He sighed. “Ok, I’ll think about it.”

Kes clapped him on the back once as Rose dropped down in the chair next to him.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, leaning over to join their conversation.

Rose was the newest addition to the council, asked by Leia herself to join after she and Connix created the beacon system that was bringing them recruits and refugees daily. Her response to the invitation? A sharp ‘finally!’ as she rolled her eyes at the former princess, a reaction Leia found endlessly amusing. Rose hadn’t stopped smiling since, a ridiculous grin on her face every time she sat down in a meeting or went to a briefing.

“I offered to take Hope tonight so he could get some sleep. He looks like shit,” explained Kes.

“He really does,” said Rose, her lips quirking up in a smirk.

“Guys, I’m right here. I can hear you.”

“We know,” said Rose, one hand on her stomach. She wasn’t quite showing yet, not unless you knew to look for it, though most of the Rebellion knew to look for it thanks to Finn. He spent half the day after she told him running through the base, telling every person he came across that he was going to be a father. “Anyway, bring that baby over anytime you need a break. Finn and I need all the practice we can get.”

“We’re hanging out with Hope tonight?” asked Finn as he pulled up the chair next to Rose.

“No, no, no, I’ve got her tonight,” said Kes, waving them both off. “You two can get in line.”

Poe laughed as Leia cleared her throat, effectively cutting off all conversation in the room.

“I think we’re all here,” said Leia, looking around. Poe hadn’t even noticed everyone trickle in, tired as he was, but sure enough everyone was seated around the table. He took another sip of caf, trying to look alive.

They were getting the old Rebel Alliance back together, an event well over a year in the making. And somehow Poe had been instrumental in bringing it all together.

He and Leia had spent those early months scraping together every ounce of support they could find, from tiny outer rim outposts to entire star systems. Slowly, between the combined power of Leia’s name and Poe’s surprising political prowess, they’d been able to build a very small core group, the misfits of the galaxy coming together to oppose the First Order.

Then the reports started coming in, whispers of the stormtrooper defection reaching rebels in every corner of the galaxy. That first group of defectors - as small as it was - had been a catalyst, the spark that they needed to light a fire under those who stood against the First Order. Those first troopers had shown that it was possible, that you could escape the First Order and live to tell the tale, more and more of their comrades following their example as time went on.

Suddenly, the Rebellion was a viable option. Refugees and defectors started pouring in, flooding all of the safe points, Chewie making the runs to pick them up while Poe and Finn and Rey handled the debriefs on base. They’d been lucky so far, everyone passing muster, no spies as far as they knew, but Poe knew it was only a matter of time.

Next came the offers of assistance - both troops and credits - from planets large and small, the former General Lando Calrissian brokering deals and making connections on behalf of the Rebellion, while Poe and Leia shook hands and closed deals.

But with victory came consequence, the first casualties since Crait coming as they evacuated the Force-sensitives on Lothal. Poe sat in Command, helpless, as the First Order showed up, TIEs quickly taking out two from Dagger Squadron. They were new recruits - of course they were - both trained by Poe on the sims, neither old enough to even graduate from the Academy.

He thought it would get easier, especially after the twin horror shows of D’Qar and Crait, but each loss still felt personal. Leia assured him it would fade, that with time he would get better at this, get better at losing. Right now, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to get better at losing. He’d much rather win.

For better or worse, they were once again on the First Order’s radar. Retribution for sympathizers to the rebel cause was swift, the First Order killing anyone who failed to fall in line. On one hand, Poe was a little proud to be considered a threat again. On the other hand, it was really making it difficult to do their job.

But they were doing it, every day chipping away at a little more of the First Order’s control.

“Poe?” said Leia, obviously not her first attempt to get his attention. “Anything to add to Finn’s report on the stormtrooper debriefs?”

He looked over at Finn, his friend not even trying to hide the smirk on his face.

“He covered the new tactics being taught and the known targets of the First Order,” supplied Leia, a single eyebrow quirking up at him.

Poe nodded, knowing where he needed to pick up. “Hux and Ren are still at odds, to the point that they’re now meeting separately with advisors. We’re also hearing that our recent victories and the mass stormtrooper defections have First Order supporters calling for the removal of Kylo Ren as the Supreme Leader,” said Poe, pausing as a slight murmur went through the group. He looked toward Leia, as he always did when they discussed Supreme Leader Ren, her face impassive in the harsh, florescent light. “A sentiment Hux is only happy to encourage. Though something tells me neither of them is going down without a fight.”

“And if they’re busy fighting each other, they won’t even see us coming,” said Rey, a vicious smile spreading across her face.

Poe recognized that look - the bloodlust and the promise of violence it contained - because he’d seen it on each and every face around this table. They all wanted a shot to bring down the First Order, to exact revenge on those who had taken so much from them, no matter how much they dressed it up with talk of what was right and good and true. They would be the avenging angels of an entire galaxy, sent to bring retribution to their enemy all in the name of peace.

Yet, there was something darker with Rey, the knowledge that she could deliver on that promise with nothing but the power inside her evident in her every move. His body responded to the memory of that power, desire curling low in his belly. He would be embarrassed by the reaction if there had been any blood left in his head to color his cheeks.

And just like that it was gone, Rey’s face smoothing out into her normal expression, the darkness leaving as quickly as it had come, leaving Poe to wonder if he had even seen it there in the first place.

“That’s what we’re hoping,” Poe said, his answering smile shared around the table. “Between the extra Alliance troops and the First Order’s split attention, we may actually have a chance against them for the first time since Crait.”

“That’s only if we get the visiting systems to sign on and stay on. I was there during the last rebellion; it’s not easy work keeping an alliance like this together,” said Leia, staring straight at Poe. “Everyone has their own agenda, and it doesn’t always line up with our own.”

Poe waved her off. “That’s why we have you, Princess,” said Poe, earning him a scowl. “You can put all those years in politics to good use.”

“And they call you charming,” she said, rolling her eyes. “We’ll be greeting our guests at 1200, meetings begin at 1400. I want everyone in full uniform, no exceptions. Dismissed.”

Poe tried to get Rey’s attention from across the table, wanting to catch her before she went to teach. She was already out the door by the time he pushed his chair out, three buns rounding the corner.

“So?” asked Kes as Poe grabbed his mug from the table, draining the last of the caf in one swallow.

Poe sighed. “Yeah, I guess. I could really use a full night of sleep.”

Kes grinned at him, clapping once. “Excellent. I’ll grab her from Elia after the meetings this afternoon.”

“She’s actually with Neena today, Elia had to help out in the kitchens,” said Poe, scrubbing his face with both hands as the guilt gnawed at the pit of his stomach.

“Hey, she’s fine,” said Kes, sensing Poe's frustration with himself as he put a hand on his shoulder. “It takes a village, kid. I would know.” He gestured toward Poe. “And look how good you turned out.”

Poe gave a short laugh, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. “I just didn’t expect this to be so… hard.”

“Nothing worth doing is easy,” he said, leading Poe toward the door. “Come on, you can probably get an hour or two of shut eye before everyone gets here. And maybe a shower.”

Poe let his father lead him down the hall. “I need to let Rey know that Hope’s staying with you tonight. She was gonna come over and work with her.”

Kes's lips quirked up. “How is that going?”

Poe shrugged. “I don’t see much difference, but Rey says she’s making progress. I can’t imagine what they’re doing, Hope can barely sit up on her own.”

They stopped outside of Poe’s door, Kes typing in the access before Poe could even lift his hand. He gave Poe a nudge once the door opened.

“Nap first, Rey later.”

Poe crossed the room in five steps, not even bothering to take off his boots before he dropped face down onto the bed.

***

As soon as the General dismissed them, Rey was out of her seat and out the door, halfway to the training room before the rest of the council had even made it to their feet.

Poe had been trying to catch her eye for the last five minutes, but he could find her later. It was probably something about her “training” with Hope, the excuse she and Kes had devised to give Poe a break for a couple of hours a week. Sure, they sent images to each other through the Force, Hope getting a little stronger every day, but mainly they just hung out, letting Poe finish a report or take a shower or take a nap.

But she couldn’t worry about Poe right now, not when she had padawans to train and she didn’t want to get caught by Jax, dragged in to yet another circular conversation about their crumbling relationship. It’s not that she was avoiding her boyfriend…

Ok, that’s exactly what she was doing.

But she was young, and this was supposed to be fun and casual, or so Kaydel had told her. Something to “cleanse her palate” after everything with Poe. Instead, she found herself stuck in discussion after discussion about what they were doing and where this was going. That’s the last time she took advice from Connix.

She made it into the training room before any of her students had arrived, heading to the box in the back corner. She unpacked the stones, spreading them far apart all across the room (a lesson she learned the hard way), giving the kids plenty of room to practice. She always got a kick out of her little nod to Luke; in her experience, sometimes it really was about lifting rocks.

Her first students appeared as she placed the last stone, two of the older girls they rescued on Lothal. They dropped their bags, chatting the entire time about the history lesson they just left.

That had been one of Rey’s stipulations, her Force sensitives getting an actual education, same as all the other kids on base. Leia hadn't even flinched, giving her the training room for a couple hours a day, three days a week, her students spending the rest of their time being normal kids.

The rest of the students trickled in, twenty in all, a ripple of excitement going through the group as they realized the day’s lesson.

Rey smiled, letting their joy wash over her. Her own abilities had become so ingrained into who she was, she sometimes forgot how it felt to discover them. The thrill of realizing she could move things with her mind or the power she felt when she tapped into the Force to defeat an opponent, overshadowed by their everyday use. Sometimes it took these lessons to remind her of how far she’d come.

Cora walked up to her, tying back her dark curls as she took her place beside Rey. “You know, there are softer things than rocks to practice levitation with,” she said, a wry look on her face.

Rey smiled, looking up at the women. “Hey, I found smaller ones this time. That bruise from the last round is healing nicely though.”

Cora laughed, a barking sound that brought their students to attention.

They’d picked up Cora on Lothal the day those first stormtroopers showed up, part of a small enclave singled out by the First Order for their relationship with the Force. Contrary to what the troopers told them, not every single being in the group was Force-sensitive, but hidden among them were men, women, and children with far-reaching abilities, more than Rey even knew existed.

Cora had been among the strongest of the group, yet still nowhere close to the raw power Rey exhibited. Even so, Rey had singled Cora out to help with training the younglings, her early years spent training under a grey Jedi lending her the discipline and knowledge that Rey was sorely lacking.

Rey seized the momentary quiet to begin the lesson.

“Ok everyone, pick a rock and sit cross-legged in front of it. Let’s take a few moments to connect with the Force and find our balance. I don’t want to see any movement from those stones until I give the ok, understood?”

“Yes, Master Rey,” answered the students, the reverence in their voices making her smile.

She folded herself onto the floor, facing them briefly before she closed her eyes. Cora insisted she found little use in meditation, instead walking the room to make sure the children behaved themselves while Rey closed her eyes.

Rey settled in to her position, reaching out to her students in the Force.

They’d been working extensively on shielding, so in theory, she shouldn’t have been able to feel anything. Instead, she plucked thoughts from the air much the same way she’d seen the villagers picking flowers from the field next to the base.

Tarc and Silas were both thinking about Sage, the beautiful Togruta girl who worked in the mess. Naya, the little Balosar girl, worried about her older brother, a brand new A-wing pilot out for his first mission. Rey grabbed equally mundane thoughts from Veris, Bol, and Kaila, making a note of who was struggling with the activity as she pushed a single word into each and every open mind in the room: _shield._

She could feel a few of their minds snap shut, the youngest still struggling to keep her gentle words out. With ages ranging from five to fifteen, no one was getting the attention they needed right now, the youngest in over their heads and the oldest bored out of their minds. Rey sighed, the knowledge that she would have to split the group soon weighing heavily on her.

Rey moved on from her padawans, taking a moment to look inside herself.

She could still sense the ghost of the feeling that rose up during the meeting, a darkness born out of the need for vengeance and retribution she felt all around her. It had been a long time since she’d lost control like that and, as brief as the lapse had been, it still set her on edge.

It was related to Kylo Ren, it had to be. She likened it to him knocking at a door in her mind, constantly testing her defenses, trying to get in. For the most part she was able to keep him out, only occasionally feeling the anger or frustration low in her gut, completely unrelated to her own emotions.

Yet, the stronger she became, the more she had to block, each training session draining her shields more and more. She worried that the strain was becoming too much even for her to handle, once again catching flickers in the shadows as she tried to sleep at night.

She wanted to talk it through with Cora, see if the woman knew anything that could help her, but she was terrified of her reaction. Would she be as understanding as Poe and Leia or would she want nothing to do with the young Jedi after learning of her connection to the dark side? It wasn’t a risk Rey was willing to take. She liked Cora, liked having a friend like her, a fellow Force user. She didn’t want to jeopardize that.

“Ok, I think we’re all as balanced as we’re gonna get,” said Cora, breaking Rey out of her trance. She blinked twice, slow to rejoin the world after her meditation. “Rey?”

Rey stood up, all eyes on her as they patiently waited for further instructions.

“Ok, everyone close your eyes. Remember: control. And if I catch any of you intentionally hitting another student with a rock, you’ll be running laps with the stormtrooper squadrons this afternoon.”

***

Poe hovered outside the training room doors, Rey’s voice carrying down the hall as her students began to file out.

“And a friendly reminder, the porgs are not to be used for practice! I am not responsible for anything that happens if Chewie catches any of you levitating them again!”

Poe snickered as he poked his head into the room, finding Rey and Cora putting stones into a box in the back.

Cora noticed him first, a subtle jerk of her head letting Rey know someone was there. Rey turned, the apprehension on her face melting into a smile when she saw it was him.

“We’re just finishing up,” she said, her voice carrying across the now empty space. She set the box on the floor, both women walking toward him.

“I heard,” he said, raising his voice slightly so she could hear. “Porg problems?”

She sighed, unable to completely keep the smile off her face as they came level with him. “It’s always something.”

“Dameron,” said Cora cordially as she passed him, tipping her head in acknowledgement. She stood almost a full head taller than Poe, and quite frankly she terrified him, her polite disdain always setting him on edge. He waited until she was out the door to speak.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Rey answered, glancing down at her chrono. “Walk with me, I still need to change."

“So, what’s up?” she asked as they started down the hall, quickly rounding the corner to the corridor where they both lived.

“Kes is gonna take Hope back to the farm tonight after the meetings,” he said as they came up to her door. “So, no need to stop by.”

Rey nodded, not quite suppressing a smile as she keyed in the access code, Poe hesitating a second before following her into the room.

He leaned against the doorjamb, watching as she crossed the room to pull her robes out of the wardrobe. The door had line after line of hash marks scratched into the metal, Rey picking up a small tool on the desk and adding another.

“How many?” he asked, coming to stand next to her. He ran a hand over the gouges, each one counting a day since the battle of Crait. She had once told him that it was a habit she picked up on Jakku, the only way she knew how to keep track of the passing days in that desert hell.

“Five hundred twenty-four,” she replied, her hand following the same path as his across the scarred metal before she shut the door with a click.

Five hundred twenty-four days since the Resistance was burned to the ground, leaving their Rebellion to rise from the ashes. Five hundred twenty-four days since he lost everything and nearly everyone in his life thanks to a couple of shitty decisions. Five hundred twenty-four days since he officially met the woman in front of him, someone who challenged him to be better, even after he fucked it all up.

It felt like yesterday; it felt like a fucking lifetime ago. Logically, he knew how little time had actually passed, how much they’d accomplished in that short time. Yet, he worried if they had done enough, if all the sacrifice and all of the work actually brought them any closer to ending this kriffing war.

She turned around to look at him, her hazel eyes reflecting his own conflict. She reached up to cup his cheek, Poe leaning in to the soft touch. They were standing so close he could feel the warmth of her skin through the fabric of his uniform, her eyes darkening as she looked at him, his own skin heating in response.

“You look tired,” she said, running her thumb across his cheek. He could hear the soft rasp as her callouses met his five o’clock shadow, his eyes closing at the sound. “A night off will do you good.” 

He laughed. “People keep saying that,” he said. “I’m going to get a complex.”

She smiled, her eyes clearing as her hand drifted back to her side. When she took a step back he could feel how hard her heart was beating, like a phantom organ in his own chest. She took a second step backward, finally turning to walk into the ‘fresher. She shut the door part way, leaving it open a crack for her voice to carry out.

“So where is Chewie picking up the rest of the Alliance?” she asked, Poe watching as the shadows moved across the crack in the door, Rey backlit in the bright lights of the ‘fresher.He could see a sliver of skin through the doorway as she traded her training shirt for a tunic, the greenish brown matching his own uniform. He turned to face the opposite wall as her pants came down, his heart speeding up in his chest. Six months ago he would have chalked it up to her own naïveté, but now he had to wonder if she knew what she was doing.

“Black Spire,” he answered as he took a deep breath, trying to list the names of all of the core worlds in his head as he willed himself to calm down. It was almost working.

He heard the ‘fresher door slide open a hair, Rey poking her head out. “Wait, I thought there was some First Order activity there. He didn’t end up taking the Falcon, did he?”

“There’s First Order activity everywhere,” he said, distracted as Rey walked out of the ‘fresher, settling the long robes onto her shoulders. “Wow, Leia was right about the robes.”

Leia had insisted Rey get Jedi robes for the meetings, Rey maintaining that she wanted an actual uniform like everyone else. The compromise ended up being a hybrid of the two, a slightly modified version of the rebel uniform with the long outer robe of the Jedi over it.

The color matched his own uniform exactly, yet the fabric was lighter, more graceful on her still-thin frame, the robes swirling around her as she searched her desk. Finding her lightsaber, she clipped it to her belt, straightening the small commander’s badge on her chest.

“And you are avoiding my question,” said Rey, already halfway to the door. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”

“You would already know all of this if you had accepted the promotion,” shot back Poe, following her out the door.

Poe could almost feel Rey rolling her eyes. “Like I told Leia, there is no way I’m qualified to be a general. I can’t even get a group of kids to stop levitating porgs, let alone lead an army.”

Poe grabbed her shoulder to slow her down, spinning her around to face him as people continued to hurry up and down the hall around them. “Hey, I’m well aware of your opinion on the matter. Just, think it through, ok? You’ve mastered your own abilities, you’re training padawans, you’re leading troops. You’re already doing it, you might as well have the title to go along with it.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment, her face betraying every emotion that went through her head. She sighed. “Fine, I’ll think about it. But I’m not making any promises,” she said as they started toward the hangar again.

Poe smiled at her, Rey’s own reluctant smile creeping across her lips.

“You know if I accepted this, I’d outrank you,” she said, mischief in her eyes.

He put an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her once as they went to join the rest of the council on the landing pad. “Oh, I think I’d find a way to survive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr at [BatuuPrincess](https://batuuprincess.tumblr.com) or better yet, check out [The Damerey Connection](http://damereyconnection.tumblr.com) for all of your Damerey needs.


	15. Day Five Hundred Ninety-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rebellion suffers a brutal loss when Leia goes to meet an informant on Coruscant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a major character death here. Nothing graphic.

Poe sat, arms crossed, as Rey and Leia continued to ignore him.

“General Organa, I really don’t think it’s wise-”

Leia waved Poe off. “I’ve known Lando for three decades. This is just how he operates.”

Poe had to agree, this was exactly how Calrissian operated, and it only took one meeting for Poe to form an opinion on those operations.

Growing up, he’d heard all the stories: Lando’s part in the coaxium heist and the famous Kessel Run, the rescue of Han and Leia from Jabba the Hutt, the destruction of the second Death Star at the Battle of Endor. The man was a living legend.

There was a saying about meeting your heroes, one Poe had never taken seriously. His parents were heroes, their friends were heroes, he had basically grown up meeting all of his heroes and it had never been a problem for him. Until he met one Lando Calrissian.

_The Leadership Council stood sweating on the duracrete outside the hangar, listening for the sound of the Millennium Falcon breaking atmo. They were lined up by rank, Poe standing on Leia’s left, waiting for Chewbacca to bring the seventeen representatives from rebel cells all over the galaxy. Not normally ones for pomp and circumstance, the entire Rebellion - at least everyone who was not on active duty - stood at attention behind them in full uniform, an attempt to impress the newcomers. If everything went according to plan, they should have a brand new alliance before sundown, nearly doubling their numbers overnight._

_It was a huge coup for the Rebellion, though not without complications. For one thing, their Leadership Council was about to get significantly bigger, a fact Leia continued to emphasize was not always a good thing._

_Poe shifted from foot to foot as the Falcon broke through the clouds, Leia laying a hand on his forearm to stop him from fidgeting. His stomach flipped as the Falcon set down in front of them, a pneumatic hiss announcing their guests._

_Lando was first off the Falcon when the ramp dropped, resplendent in powder blue and black, full-length cape ruffling behind him in the breeze. The rest of the rebels followed several steps behind in an attempt to stay out of the cape’s way._

_“Leia,” he nearly shouted, opening his arms to the General as he walked forward. He held out a hand, Leia accepting it before being pulled into a hug._

_“Good to see you too, Lando,” said Leia, awkwardly patting him on the back. He held on for another ten seconds before letting her go, the relief on her face palpable as she straightened her uniform._

_“And this must be Kes and Shara’s little one,” he said grabbing Poe’s hand. “Hard to believe we haven’t met yet.”_

_“Colonel Poe Dameron,” offered Poe by way of introduction. “Welcome to the Rebellion, General.”_

_Lando let out a hearty laugh, his shoulders rippling under the cape. “Oh, I’m not joining any rebellions today. Bad for business,” he said, Poe’s face heating out of embarrassment or anger, he wasn’t sure which._

_Leia, sensing he was about to say something, probably something that he’d regret, put her hand on his forearm again. “Not now.”_

Poe rolled his eyes. “I know _you_ trust him,” said Poe in a tone that made it abundantly clear that he did not. “But something doesn’t feel right about this. We got the message barely an hour ago and you’d have to leave,” he paused, glancing at his wrist. “Within the hour to make it to Coruscant in enough time to make the meeting. Why Coruscant? Why won’t he come here?”

“Of course we just got the message, it bounced across half the galaxy on the relays before our person on Naboo intercepted it. He can’t risk coming here again, but if he says it’s urgent, then I have to go. Lando’s information on the First Order has been invaluable to us.”

“That’s because he’s still doing business with them!” said Poe, his voice loud enough for Rey to raise her eyebrows at him. He ignored her. “He’s putting you at risk so he can keep his kriffing contracts with the First Order.”

Leia fixed him with a stern look. “I know what you’re implying, but I’d trust Lando with my life. And those _kriffing contracts_ are half the reason we have as much intel as we do. He’s a rebel by everything except name.”

Poe sighed, shaking his head. “It’s not even Calrissian I’m worried about. You need back up. At the very least, Rey should be with you, though ideally I’d like you to go with a squadron or two. With the recent air strikes from the Alliance and the stormtrooper defections, the First Order will not stop until they find us. There’s a target on your back.”

“There’s always a target on my back,” said Leia, shaking her head. “And Lando is skittish, he doesn’t want half of the Rebellion showing up and giving his location away.”

Poe could see both arguments. However he felt about Calrissian’s fluid loyalties, his information had proven invaluable recently. It’s how they knew to look at Arkanis, it’s how they knew about the divisions in the First Order, it’s even how they ended up with an alliance in the first place. And he really couldn’t fault the man for being paranoid, especially with all of their very public, recent victories. First Order retribution on Rebel sympathizers was swift and brutal.

But they always went in with back up, no exceptions. Especially when going planet-side in a traditionally Centrist system.

Rey finally decided to chime in.

“I would feel better on the ground with you, but what about those new scout ships Rose has been working on? They are unmarked, heavily armed, and untraceable. Iolo, Karé, and I can patrol the area from the skies, provide cover,” suggested Rey. “Mr. Calrissian never has to know.”

Poe glared at her, Rey studiously ignoring him. There was nothing he could do - they both outranked him at this point, regardless of how Rey insisted her promotion to General was only ceremonial - but he could usually count on Rey to back him up, especially when it came to Leia’s safety.

Leia contemplated the offer. “I think that could work,” she said with a tight smile. It looked odd on her face, an uneasy feeling settling somewhere near Poe’s stomach. “We leave in twenty. Rey, could you fill Captains Arana and Kun in on the plan and let Lieutenant Tico,” she paused for a second, remembering that there were two, “Rose know which ships to prep. Poe, I’d like you overseeing the mission in command.”

Rey got up, touching Poe’s shoulder lightly before heading out toward the hangar. Poe stood, turning to leave the office when General Organa spoke.

“Poe, hold on,” she said, coming out from behind her desk. He looked down at her as she stood in front of him, always a little shocked to find her standing a full head beneath him. Her presence was far too big for her body to be that small.

He waited for her to speak - it was her, after all, who asked him to stay - but she just stood there for a moment, eventually reaching out to take one of his hands in each of her own.

“Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hands.

Poe looked at her, confused. “For what?”

She smiled that knowing smile. “Just, thank you,” she said, abruptly dropping his hands and walking out the door, leaving Poe open-mouthed and confused in her wake. He stood there, the strangeness of the conversation sinking into his bones.

He recovered after a moment, heading toward the hangar for a quick word with Rey, not even sure what he wanted to say to her.

He found her already in her flight suit, running the pre-flight checks on Saber One, BB-8 chirping about available astromechs as it rolled behind her. He leaned against an A-wing, watching her speak to BeeBee, a smile on her face as her deft fingers weaved her hair into a messy braid.

His chest tightened as he remembered when he used to do that for her, braiding her hair before she went up so she could fit her flight helmet over it, before she learned how to do it for herself.

“Hey BeeBee, you wanna go up with Rey, keep an eye on our girl?” he asked, the little droid letting out an ecstatic beep before rolling over to complete the checks itself.

Rey blushed. “I can take one of the old R9s, it’s no problem.”

“I insist. If I can’t be up there with you guys, I can at least send the next best thing.”

She punched him playfully on the arm, her hand lingering on his bicep. “Are you insinuating your droid is a better pilot than me?”

He gave her a small smile. “Just be careful up there, okay?”

“I’m always careful,” she said with an easy smile, another attempt to lighten the mood. Poe wasn’t having it.

“Promise me,” he demanded, a little more harshly than he intended.

She gave him an odd look, her eyes scrutinizing him. “I promise I’ll be careful. Poe, what’s going on?”

His chest loosened a fraction at her promise. “Sorry, I’m just being silly,” he said, shaking his head.

Rey gave him one of those looks that made him certain she could see into his very soul. “Are you?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” he said, turning around to walk back to Command, the feeling of Rey’s eyes lingering on his back until he had turned the corner.

 

And so Poe sat in Command, listening as everything went to hells.

“Shots fired! Lando’s been hit!” shouted Leia, out of breath. “We’re evacuating the area, cover requested.”

Poe sprang to action, trying not be smug. Leia was so getting an ‘I told you so’ when she got back to base. “Blue Squadron, drop out over Coruscant!” he shouted into the comms, watching as the X-wings popped up on the screen. He was so glad he hadn’t listened to anyone. “Saber, Stiletto, Dagger, we’re going to need ground cover. General Organa has been compromised.”

“Saber engaging,” said Rey. “Shit, we’ve got company. At least twenty TIEs.”

“Preparing…takeoff,” said Leia, breaking up. Poe could hear alarms ringing in the background as she faded in and out. “…bounty hunter…approaching…backup.”

“Dammit!” shouted Poe, turning to Connix. “Can we get a better signal?”

She shook her head as she fidgeted with the knobs and toggles in front of her. “Her communication array was damaged, there’s nothing we can do on our end.”

Leia was speaking again. “… contact… Hux… trap…”

“We’ve got you, General. Approaching- NO!” Rey stopped abruptly, letting out a scream that shook Poe to his very core.

He looked over at Connix, her face confirming his worst fears before he even looked down at his screen. His heart sank as he saw the blinking red X over Leia’s ship, a sickening slide straight to his stomach before bottoming out. He could hear his heart beat in his ears, all sounds temporarily blocked as he gave himself three seconds to adjust to this new world, the one without Leia in it. But they still had twelve people to bring home and a base to secure; he couldn’t fall apart yet.

He took a deep breath, steadying himself for what he had to do next. The entire command center had frozen, sounds of a battle lightyears away still playing over the comms.

“Connix, I need visual confirmation from one of the squadron leaders that the General’s ship was destroyed. See if there is any chance of survivors.” There wasn’t, he knew there wasn’t, he could feel the truth of it deep in his chest, but he had to try.

He turned to where Finn stood, staring slack jawed at the monitors. “I need troops ready to go in case we get some unwelcome guests. How many units of former troopers do we have ready?”

“Two fully trained and ready to go,” he answered, snapping out of his momentary paralysis.

“Ok, pull in some Pathfinders and secure the perimeter in case of evacuation.”

He looked around the rest of Command. “Is Devlin here?” he asked, finding him in the back corner. “Get all remaining squadrons in the air in five. I want to know the second anyone drops out of hyperspace in this system and the next.

“Rose, put the base on evacuation watch and start prepping the transports. Any sign of the First Order, I want the civilian women and children gone, no questions asked.” He fixed her with what he hoped was a stern look. “That includes you, Lieutenant Tico.”

Her head whipped around, the look on her face murderous. The last time he’d seen that expression, he’d been on the receiving end of a slap. “I’m not a civilian.”

“Yeah, but he or she is,” he said, pointing at her now-protruding stomach. “We need someone from leadership on those transports anyway. You’re it, that’s an order.”

She looked like she was about to put up a fight, her hand gravitating to her midsection before she nodded once and took off toward the main hangar.

Poe turned back to his own station as their pilots fought off the remaining attackers, the sounds of laser fire and shouted commands filling his ears. There was nothing he could do for them now, just send a quick prayer up to the Force and make sure the base was prepared for whatever happened next.

He heard Snap’s voice over the comms.

“Rebel base, we’re preparing to make the first jump,” said Snap, his voice a little shaky. “Two confirmed dead. And we’re going to need a medical team upon landing.”

“We hear you Blue Leader,” said Poe, his heart pounding. “Over and out.”

Poe dropped back down into his chair, his legs no longer able to hold him as all of the adrenaline of the past few minutes left his system. He put his head in his hands, taking in a shaking breath in an attempt to steady his heart.

Poe felt the tears running down his cheeks, making no move to hide or brush them away. The silence of the room was punctuated only by the muffled sobs of a young Lieutenant, Poe looking up to find Connix comforting her. Most of the officers were crying, leaving their stations to find solace in one another. He looked around for any of his friends, knowing full well he had sent them all away.

There was an empty ache in his chest, left by the knowledge that he was all alone.

His mind strayed to his daughter, most likely getting prepped for evacuation somewhere with Elia. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but the evacuation plans were sound. And if the First Order showed up, he’d get up in an X-wing and face down a Star Destroyer himself if it bought the transports a few minutes time.

As he continued to look around, he noticed the officers staring at him, people turning to him from all over the command center. He could feel more and more eyes on him, the realization dawning slowly. They weren’t looking at him because he was crying, they were looking to him for guidance, awaiting further orders. He was now the ranking officer on base.

He wiped his eyes, fresh tears coming almost instantly to replace the discarded ones. “We need to be prepared in case of evacuation. Grab any necessary data and be ready to destroy anything nonessential. They should be at the first jump in five minutes, we’ll have a better idea of what we’re up against if anything follows them.”

They spent a very tense three minutes downloading files before Snap’s voice blared over the speakers.

“First jump complete. No First Order activity. Will proceed to second jump in five.”

“Copy, Captain Wexley,” replied Connix, setting the headset down.

The minutes crawled by as they made it through the second jump, Poe nearly holding his breath as they waited the five additional minutes before being given the all clear to return to base. He breathed a sigh of relief when they got confirmation from the patrols that there was no sign of a tail, the twelve ships free to break atmo.

Poe headed down to the hangar, needing to see it on their faces, hear it straight from their lips. A few from Command followed him, the group drawing looks from the mechanics and flight crews as they walked through the hangar. Of course they thought it was strange, the entire fleet had been dispatched with no explanation, all of the action happening on a closed channel in Command. Well, they’d know soon enough; there were no secrets on base, especially when the news was this big.

He could hear the ships approaching, Snap setting his squadron down on the duracrete as the three scout ships entered the hangar, landing fifteen feet in front of Poe. The medical team ran past him with a stretcher, checking each of the scout ships before heading for the X-wings.

Karé was out of her little ship first, immediately turning to run into the arms of Snap out on the duracrete. Poe breathed a sigh of relief. At least Snap wasn’t hurt.

Rey was slower to lift her transparisteel canopy, Poe taking a step toward the ship as he watched her face appear from under her helmet. She had been crying, hard by the looks of it, her eyes red and swollen, cheeks soaked. She jumped out of the ship, not waiting for a ladder, closing the gap between them in a few quick steps.

The force of her body hitting his own made him take a step back, Rey holding on to him for dear life as his arms automatically wrapped around her. He felt a release, the tension of the past hour melting away as they cried in each other’s arms, Poe finally giving in to the tears. He sobbed into her hair, his entire body shaking as he took in gulps of air.

They stood like that a minute, Poe’s sobs eventually quieting back down to tears. He watched as the medical team brought the stretcher back into the hangar, one of Blue’s pilots laid on it with a nasty head wound.

Rey took a half step back, leaning her forehead against his. Selfishly, he was glad that he sent Devlin up, knowing he wouldn’t get to do this if the Captain was here right now. He’d deal with the consequences another day.

He pulled back, breaking contact with her.

“She’s really gone, isn’t she?” he asked, watching the tears continue to slide down her cheeks.

She nodded, Poe reaching up thumb away a tear. Locks of her hair had escaped the braid, the fine strands settling down around her shoulders.

“I’m not even sure they were after us,” she said, her voice weak. “They went straight for Lando on the ground. They didn’t target Leia until…” she trailed off, her words swallowed by tears.

“Shhh,” he said, taking her back into his arms. “We can debrief later.”

He needed to check in with the patrols, call off the evacuation, question each and every pilot that was in the sky over Coruscant, but he couldn’t bring himself to let Rey go, not when she had chosen him to comfort her. So they stood there in each other’s arms, the sounds of grief rippling through the hangar as the word slowly spread, Rey and Poe riding out the storm together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna go hide now.


	16. Day Five Hundred Ninety-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rebellion mourns Leia, while their shared grief brings Rey and Poe together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am posting this right before hopping on a plane and flying off on a nine-day vacation during which I won't be able to write (*silently screams*). That being said, this will be the last update until Damerey week (October 15-22). I feel like I've left this in a good place for a quick hiatus (the working title of this chapter was "Reunited" FYI), so I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> A quick warning: the 1800 or so words of this chapter are dirty, so skip the ending if that's not your thing.

Poe walked out of the hangar into the sticky heat of the morning. It had been nearly three days since the incident, and he was almost shocked to see that the sun still rose and set like nothing had happened. Life went on. It just didn’t seem right.

If he was being honest, it felt like he was losing his mother all over again, only this time he was old enough to actually understand what was happening. The shock and the grief would hit him unexpectedly, the knowledge that Leia wasn’t coming back almost too much for him.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to fight back the tears, coughing as he inhaled smoke. He turned the corner to search for the source, wanting to remind whoever it was that they couldn’t smoke this close to the hangar. That’s where he found Rey, sitting by herself on the low wall surrounding the base, cigarette in hand.

He approached her slowly. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

She started slightly at the sound of his voice, turning to look at him with red-rimmed eyes.

“I don’t,” she said, barking out a short laugh at his pointed look at the evidence in her hand.

He moved to sit down next to her.

“Leia did,” she explained quietly. “I caught her out here after we got back from Lothal.” She paused, taking a quick drag on the cigarette and choking spectacularly on the smoke. Poe took the cigarette from her hand, stamping it out as patted her back through the coughing fit, his hand lingering.

Once she had regained some semblance of control, she went on. “She insisted that she had quit after Endor - it was unbecoming of a Senator - but that she kept a pack for the days we lost. So every time a mission went south or we lost good people, I’d come out here and sit with Leia while she had her one smoke. Always just one, then she’d get up, dust herself off, and walk back into the base to be the General again.”

He looked over at her to find tears streaming down her face, pooling at her chin and dropping to be absorbed by the jungle floor. He put his arm around her.

“So I came out here because we lost, we lost so bad Poe and I don’t know how we’re supposed to do this without her,” she finished, finally giving in to her sobs. He pulled her into his arms, her tears soaking his shoulder through the thin shirt.

“I know, Sunshine, I know,” he said, smoothing her back the way he knew calmed her down. He could feel every knob of her spine again, absently wondering when she had last eaten something. He’d worry about that later.

“I should have been there, Poe,” she said into his shoulder, tears subsiding slightly. She pulled away, his arms feeling the loss instantly. “Where the fuck was the Force in all of this? I can find a Force-sensitive a mile away, lift things hundreds of times my weight, and read people’s minds, but I can’t see Leia walking into a fucking trap? I should have been on the ground to protect her.”

There was a lot for him to unpack there, so he started at the beginning. “She wanted you in the air, Sunshine.” She looked up, the old nickname finally catching her attention. “If you had been on the ground with her, you’d be gone too.”

He was only slightly embarrassed that his voice cracked on that last word, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes at how very close he came to losing her too.

It was Lando that had been betrayed, one of his men turning him in to the First Order as an informant. The First Order didn’t even bother to show up at first, sending a bounty hunter to dispatch Calrissian and his contact, not realizing who he was meeting with. It was pure (bad) luck that the bounty hunter not only recognized Leia as the leader of the Rebellion, but had the chance to call in the planet’s TIE patrols before Rey shot him down. They were all lucky to get out of there before a Star Destroyer crashed the party.

“Maybe I should be gone too,” Rey said, staring out into the jungle.

“Don’t say that, Rey. Please don’t say that.”

“I was right there, Poe. I watched her get blasted out of the sky.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean you deserve the same fate.”

She looked at him, a little lost. “What are we going to do?”

“I have no kriffing clue,” he answered honestly.

He put his arm around her, pulling her to his side. She leaned into his touch, wrapping an arm around his waist, her head resting heavily on his shoulder.

Leia’s last words continued to play in a loop in his brain, Poe trying to make sense of the random configuration of words. Contact, Hux, trap. Leia had obviously been trying to tell them something important, probably whatever information Lando had provided, but without context, or a few more words to go on, he was stuck. As far as they could tell, Hux hadn’t even been involved in the order to execute Calrissian, their sources in the First Order telling them a low-level Colonel had ordered the attack.

Poe shut off his brain, allowing himself to sit there for a moment, savoring her touch, before the guilt started to sink in.

He let go of her, gently pulling away so they weren’t touching anymore.

“I’m sorry, I got carried away.”

She looked at him, confusion and betrayal warring in her features. “What are you talking about?”

“This isn’t right. I know you’re with Jax and it’s not fair to either of you. I can go find him if you want someone to sit with you,” he said, moving to get up from the low ledge. Rey’s hand shot out, pulling him back down before he could walk away.

“Poe, we broke up weeks ago,” she said, hope igniting in his chest, quickly followed by guilt. He shouldn’t be worried about his own romantic entanglements when he was hours away from saying goodbye to the woman who had been like a mother to him for the past few years. Though, in his defense, Leia probably would have found it hilarious that this exact moment is when they decided to pull their heads out of their asses.

Poe, ever the intellectual, responded “What?”

“I guess I got tired of hearing how I was still in love with you,” she said with a shrug. “And I guess I got tired of him being right.”

The words short-circuited his brain, all of the things he’d wanted to say to her for the last nine months completely forgotten as those words sunk in. Loved him. She still loved him.

“Poe, say something,” she said, her red-rimmed eyes pleading with him. She was so beautiful and strong and so much better than he deserved, but kriff he didn’t care anymore and life was short and he had always been a man of action…

So he leaned over and kissed her, his hands soft as they cradled her face.

It felt like coming home.

She responded to him immediately, her hands wrapping around his waist as she opened her mouth to him. She tasted like cigarettes, but he wasn’t about to be picky.

His hands slid into her hair, just as a sharp beep issued from somewhere around his knee.

BB-8 let out a string of curses in binary, the shock of it making Poe jump back.

“Language!” he yelled, knocking the droid affectionately on the dome. Rey burst out laughing.

“Looks like someone’s been spending too much time with Artoo,” she said, as BB-8 let loose another round of beeps and trills.

“Yes, I know the meeting’s starting,” said Poe, running a hand through his hair. “None of your business! Go ahead, we’ll be there in a minute.”

Rey was unsuccessfully trying to hide her smile, having understood every word of BeeBee’s tirade. Poe scrubbed his face.

“That droid has too much time on its hands now that I’m not flying,” he said, shaking his head.

He got up, offering Rey a hand. When she on was her feet, he pressed another soft kiss on her mouth. He had no clue what any of this meant, and they probably needed to talk about it, but if she was willing, he wasn’t going to let the opportunity slide.

She grabbed his hand as they made their way back into the hangar.

“So why have you been avoiding us? Hope misses you,” he said, nudging her with his shoulder as they passed the pilots on duty. Poe noticed Jess elbowing Snap as they walked past.

Rey gave him a look, oblivious to the stares. “Oh, and Hope has shared this with you.”

“Well, she keeps showing me your face, which is a good indication. It also makes it pretty tough to get over your ex when your child shows you her face daily.”

Rey laughed at that. “You see my face every day anyway; we work together.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier,” he said, watching as the smile died on her lips.

They were almost to the door, Rey turning around to face him.

“Poe,” she said, worry marring her delicate features.

“Hey Sunshine, we’ll figure it out. If this is really what you want, we’ll make it work, ok? And if it’s not, then we’ll pretend like this never happened,” he said, giving Rey a weak smile. He hoped to every God in the galaxy that this was what she wanted, but he needed to let her make up her own mind. He knew that now.

She nodded as he placed a kiss on her forehead. He dropped her hand, feeling the loss acutely. In the ten minutes since that first kiss, he’d become greedy, needing to touch some part of her at all times to make up for all those wasted months.

She hesitated outside the door, something still obviously on her mind.

“You coming?” he asked.

“I just need a minute. I’ll be right in,” she said, a half smile on her face.

He nodded, taking a deep breath before stepping in to the first meeting without their General.

 

Poe blinked, still unable to comprehend what had just happened.

D’Acy read the succession plan left by Leia and then raised the vote. His mind had gone blank, his ears ringing as his heart tried to beat out of his chest. He was possibly having a stroke. Wouldn’t somebody notice if he was having a stroke? Rey would definitely notice if he was having a stroke.

He looked around the room, realizing that everyone had their hands raised. Finn, Rose, Rey, Connix, Kes, those he had expected. It was Desso, Devlin and D’Acy that came as a shock, but the vote was unanimous. He was now General Dameron, leader of the Rebellion.

And yet, he didn’t rejoice at the news. It was bittersweet at best, terrifying at worst. In fact, he’d be happy to drop back down to a Lieutenant if that meant Leia was still around to demote him.

Back before Crait, he wanted nothing more than to take command, knew with every fiber of his being that he was ready. He’d spent the time since Crait learning exactly how not ready he had been. But ready or not, he was in charge now.

He already missed Leia. He’d gladly give it all up to have her back in command, though if she were still here, they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

And it was most definitely a mess. He hadn’t realized how much of the Rebellion’s success relied on Leia’s good name until their supporters started getting cold feet. It turns out the name Poe Dameron didn’t carry the same weight and reassurances as Leia Organa.

He spent half the day fielding messages from their supposed allies, trying to assure them that yes, they were still rebelling and no, he didn’t think all hope was lost.

Despite all of his assurances, they had still lost two systems, with one more on the fence. But he couldn’t worry about that right now. He had a funeral to attend.

He was running late and he still needed to change as he made it down the hall to his quarters. Hope was already with Kes, so that was one less thing he had to worry about as he threw on his uniform, trying to practice his speech in his head. He had originally been chosen to give the eulogy because he was Leia’s right hand, but now this would be the first time he addressed the Rebellion as their leader. Normally, he had no trouble speaking in public - in fact he’d been told on more than one occasion that must like the sound of his own voice - but this was different. It was important that he got this right for Leia. She had entrusted the Rebellion into his hands, now he had to show them all that her faith in him was not misplaced.

But he was _nervous_ , his hands shaking as he walked down toward the hangar. It was raining, of course, so they’d had to move the service indoors. There would be no temple in the background as he gave his speech, no glowing flowers placed in her honor. It didn’t matter that he had no control over the weather, he couldn’t get past the feeling that he couldn’t even get her funeral right.

Poe needed to calm down.

He walked past where everyone was milling around and taking their seats, trying to find his father in the crowd. If he could just hold Hope for a minute…

He found them standing in the back with Finn and Rose, the little mechanic balancing Hope on her hip. Rose was starting to show in earnest now, her bump proceeding her wherever she went. She was absolutely glowing, no matter how much she complained that she couldn’t fit under an X-wing anymore. Rose smiled at him as he walked up, bouncing Hope so she giggled.

Hope caught sight of him, reaching her hands out for him to pick her up. “Hey, baby girl,” he said, shifting her into his arms with a kiss. She started babbling incoherently, his heart rate slowing.

“Just sneaking in a little practice,” said Rose, running her hand over Hope’s blonde curls one last time. “Are you ready?”

His heart clenched at that question. He knew she probably meant the eulogy, but it felt far deeper than that. He answered honestly for either case.

“I sure hope so,” he said, with an attempt at his usual carefree smile.

“Hey, they need you up front,” said Rey, walking up to their little group. She was in her regular uniform, foregoing the robes tonight. She gave Hope a quick kiss on the forehead, the little girl reaching out for Rey over Poe’s shoulder.

Poe nodded, placing one final kiss on Hope’s head before handing her over to Kes.

“Dad, you don’t have to take her after the memorial. I can skip the reception.”

Kes gave Poe a sad smile. “No, no, you stay, celebrate Leia’s life. People will expect to see you there. We’re gonna head to the farm for the night,” said Kes, bouncing a little as Hope started to whine. She reached for Poe again, getting a little louder. “You better go before she starts crying.”

Poe took one last look at his daughter, guilt gnawing at him. He’d only seen Hope for about a grand total of twenty minutes today between the meetings and the holo-calls and now this. He was thankful that so many people were willing to watch her - the refugees, Rey’s older students, Kes, even Rose now that she was on light duty - but sometimes it made him feel like he needed an excuse to spend time with his own kid. He sighed, knowing it would probably only get worse from here.

He turned, following Rey to the front of the crowd. She hesitated a second before taking his hand.

“You’ve got this, General,” she said, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before heading over to where Kes had found a seat with Hope.

D’Acy was watching the proceedings, her eyebrows raised in question as Rey took her seat.

Poe shook his head slightly at her as he stood off to the side while everyone settled into the chairs. By the looks of it, someone had set out every chair on base and it still wasn’t enough - people were filing in to the back to stand, the entire hangar full.

He looked out to crowd, packed in all the way to the back wall of the hangar. He picked out his friends, Finn and Rose in the back row, Snap and Karé all the way in front, Jess with a group of pilots he barely recognized, Iolo leaning against an A-wing all alone, and Rey sitting next to Hope and Kes. For a split second he even thought he saw General Organa in the crowd, but as a group moved past, he realized it must have been his eyes playing tricks on him.

He spotted Chewbacca all the way against the back wall, the wookiee having been missing in action for the last three days. He had taken Leia’s death hard, his wail upon learning the news sending all the whisper birds from the trees around the base. Rumor had it he was working his way through the latest shipment of Corellian whiskey on the Falcon. Poe couldn’t even blame him, Leia had been the last of the old guard; he was alone now.

D’Acy was calling for quiet, Poe’s stomach flipping uncomfortably as he waited his turn.

“Today we come together to celebrate the life of Leia Organa. General Poe Dameron will now say a few words.”

Poe stepped on to the makeshift stage, his nerves showing as he surreptitiously shook out his hands. He began his speech, his voice even despite the slight tremor in his hands.

“I knew Leia practically since birth. Possibly even before then, depending on when she was on base around 1 ABY,” he said with a smirk, chuckles going up around the crowd.

Encouraged by the response, he went on, his nerves fading the longer he spoke. He hit all the right beats, pausing for effect when needed, using his hands to emphasize a point, the entire Rebellion hanging on his every word.

“… taught me how sometimes you have to take losses for the greater good. She taught me how to know when the losses were too great. Hells, she even taught me how to cut my losses, especially when I was arguing with her.”

There was another soft laugh before Poe went on.

“Leia once told me that her entire life was defined by loss, but I’d have to respectfully disagree. Leia’s entire life was defined by hope, not loss. When the Empire destroyed her planet just to teach her a lesson, she turned that loss into hope for the Rebellion. When she found the rising threat of the First Order, she turned that fear into hope for the Resistance. When the Resistance fell at Crait, she turned that despair into hope for the new Rebellion.”

Poe paused, making the mistake of looking at Hope, her little hands reaching for him as she started to whimper. Kes attempted to bounce her a little to quiet her down, the movement only making her whine louder.

“Leia showed us all how to take our losses and turn them into something beautiful. And through it all - the loss of her planet, the loss of her parents, the loss of her husband, the loss of her brother - she never lost her hope that one day the galaxy would know peace again.”

Poe’s eyes caught on Hope again as Rey reached out her hands, Hope transferring easily into her arms. She laid her head on Rey’s shoulder as Rey smoothed her hair, whispering something into her ear. He looked away as he felt a familiar tug in his chest, willing himself not to cry.

“Unfortunately, Leia won’t get to see that peace this time. But we have the chance. We are the spark that will light the fire that will restore the Republic, if only we don’t flame out. She lead us here with her strength and bravery and sacrifice, and now it’s our turn.

“Please join me in a moment of silence to thank Leia for her sacrifice,” he said, folding his hands and bowing his head, the gathered mourners doing the same.

He was already starting to fight the tears when he looked up, his eyes catching once more on a woman in the back. She had on a dress so white it practically glowed in the bright lights of the hangar. Her brown hair was in an intricate series of braids, the wry smile on her face vaguely familiar. He was used to seeing it on a much older face, but there was no doubt in his mind who it belonged to. She gave a subtle nod before Poe blinked, the woman disappearing in the time it took to reopen his eyes.

He cleared his throat, his heart racing in his chest. The group looked up at the sound, waiting for his final words as he pulled himself together. “May the Force be with her, always,” he said, the tears audible in his voice as he stared at the last place he’d seen her, hoping she could hear.

He took a step back to collect himself, D’Acy coming forward to finish. “Please join us in the mess as we continue to celebrate Leia’s life. Thank you.”

The assembled crowd started to get up, Poe attempting to get to Rey and Hope before he was pulled into conversation. He had no such luck as a small group started to form around him, everyone wanting to speak with the General for just a moment. Poe watched as Rey and Kes walked toward the mess, bringing his attention back to the man in front of him.

***

Rey sat down next to Finn, sliding Hope to sit in her lap. Kes was around here somewhere, talking to a group of Pathfinders, while Poe had been cornered by various members of the Rebellion, everyone wanting a piece of him now that his promotion was official.

“How are you holding up?” asked Finn.

He had been there for her through the worst of it - the crash, Poe leaving, her brief entanglement with Jax, Leia’s death - his steady presence keeping her going through even the darkest days. She wondered what he’d have to say about her and Poe kissing this morning.

Honestly, she wasn’t even sure what she thought about her and Poe kissing this morning. They were good as friends, the past months had proved that, and yet, there was still something missing.

She loved him, that part was straightforward. And somehow that love had only grown in the months they’d been apart. They worked hard to become friends, something they hadn’t really bothered with the first time around, getting together barely a week after meeting. She knew that all she had to do was say the word and it would be like they were never apart, but there was always something stopping her from taking that final step.

He left her. It was that simple; everybody left her and Poe was no exception. The thought of opening herself up to that hurt again terrified her. She knew that this time, if they started back up again, that would be it for her. There would be no going back, there would be no staying friends. It was why she hesitated every time they got close.

Then again, she hadn’t hesitated for a second when he kissed her, her mind and body responding immediately to his touch. They were both hurting, the loss of Leia hitting each of them hard, but she wondered if it was something more than that. It probably would do her some good to talk through it with Finn.

She didn’t even have a chance to answer before Rose plunked down a bottle of whiskey - the good stuff by the looks of it - handing out glasses to both Finn and Rey.

“I’m eating for two, so you guys are drinking for two,” she said, tipping a generous amount of liquid into each glass. She looked around the mess. “Where’s Poe? He’s drinking for two, too.”

“I think your math is off,” smirked Finn, taking a glass from her.

“I think he’s caught up in official business,” said Rey, eying the pour. It was at least two fingers more than she needed right now. “And I can’t drink, I’m watching the baby.”

Rose snatched Hope from Rey’s lap, settling the girl on her own. For her part, Hope was completely unfazed by the abrupt change of scenery, continuing to babble away as she lightly slapped the table.

“There, now I have two babies and you have no excuses. Drink up,”

Rey burst out laughing as Poe walked up to the table.

“What did I miss?” he said, smiling at the group. “Here, I can take her.”

He reached toward Hope, Rose shifting to block him. Poe’s face fell for a split second before he smoothed out his expression.

“Nope, you’re drinking,” she said, pouring another shot into a glass. Rey wasn’t sure where she was keeping the glassware, but it seemed to be appearing out of nowhere.

“Any particular reason Rose has become a pusher?” Poe asked to the group at large, taking the proffered glass. He sniffed the contents, grinning appreciatively. “How’d you get the Corellian stuff away from Chewie?”

She scoffed at him. “He offered. And I’m not a pusher, I’m a pregnant woman who wants a drink so bad she’s going to get her friends drunk just to enjoy the fumes.”

Rey looked over at Finn. “Cravings,” he said with a shrug.

“Well, I’m not gonna look a gift bantha in the mouth,” said Poe, raising his glass. “To Leia.”

“To Leia,” they all answered, dropping the glasses to tap the table before knocking the shots back.

The rest of the night passed in a soft haze of good food and good company, Rey moving from group to group throughout the mess as they remembered Leia.

Every so often she’d look up, locking eyes with Poe wherever he was in the room before they both looked away, that old feeling of inevitability bubbling up once more.

She finally found herself with Black Squadron, Snap insisting she take a shot with them. She steered clear of Old Man Dix’s hullstripper - the smell alone conjuring images of that night Poe spent holding back her hair after one of Snap’s parties - opting instead to stick with the whiskey.

“To Leia,” said Snap, the universally adopted cheer of the night. “And to pilots coming to their senses.” He looked pointedly at Poe across the room, watching as he snuck a quick look in Rey’s direction.

Rey snorted, following the standard down then up path for the glass before swallowing the liquid in a single gulp. The whiskey buzzed slightly in her veins, the warmth settling into her chest driving away the icy misery she’d been battling for days.

She walked over to where the food was spread out, nibbling on a piece of sweetbread as she poured herself a glass of water.

“Fancy seeing you here,” said a deep voice behind her, Rey finishing half the glass before turning around.

“How are you holding up,” she asked, taking in the darkened skin under Jax’s eyes, the contrast striking against his pale cheeks. There were a few new lines forming across his forehead, and his normally neat blonde hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a week.

He mustered a half smile, Rey nearly gagging on the fumes coming off him. “I’ve been better.”

Rey gave him a tight smile in return, catching Poe’s eyes over his shoulder before turning back to the Captain.

“Leia meant a lot to everyone,” she said, taking another sip of water.

“I’m not talking about Leia,” he said, an intensity in his eyes that she had rarely seen.

She saw movement out of the corner of her eye, a dark head moving in their direction.

“We don’t need to do this here,” she said, putting what she hoped was a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He grabbed her hand as she tried to pull it away, his grip on her thin wrist punishing.

“Ok, Captain Devlin, that’s enough,” said Poe, prying Jax’s hand off her wrist. “We both know she can send you flying across the room with a flick of her wrist, so why don’t we not make a scene at General Organa’s funeral. Go sleep it off, buddy.”

Poe took his eyes off Devlin for a split second, turning to say something to Rey, when the Captain hauled off and punched him.

Poe staggered back, shocked, before moving to charge forward. Rey shook her head, officially done with this banthashit, freezing both of them in place without so much as lifting a hand.

The entire mess had gone silent, Rey’s skin prickling as every eye in the hall turned to watch the drama unfold. So much for not making a scene.

She called over to a couple of Kes’s Pathfinders. “Can you make sure Captain Devlin makes it back to his room? And stays there?” she said, releasing the man from her hold as the soldiers took him away.

She waited until they were out of range to release Poe, the noise in the hall starting to return to a normal level. “So this is not making a scene?”

“He sucker-punched me!” said Poe in his defense, wincing as he moved his face.

Rey sighed, her fingers probing the side of his face. Jax caught him just to the side of his right eye, the angry red mark stretching down past his cheekbone already starting to swell. Thankfully, the skin wasn’t broken, but he’d have a hell of a bruise tomorrow if they didn’t get some bacta on it.

“C’mon, let’s get you to medical,” she said, her hand dropping from his face.

Poe shook his head, rubbing his good eye. “Nah, I’ve got a medkit in my room. I just want to go to bed.”

“I’ll walk with you,” she said, following him out of the mess.

As they walked through the empty hallways of the base, Poe took her hand, the familiar patterns coming back to them. She could hear the party going on in the hangar, the mess no longer big enough to fit everyone at once. They were starting to outgrow the base, a good problem to have for anyone not in charge of the logistics.

Their silence was comfortable, Poe lifting up their joined hands and placing a kiss on her knuckles when they approached his doorway.

“At least let me help patch you up,” she said. “You were defending my honor, after all.”

He snorted. “We both know you could have defended your own honor much better than I managed to.”

“Still,” she said, letting the word linger.

He hit the code, Rey following him as he stepped into his quarters.

“Where’s your medkit?” she asked, back to the task at hand. 

“In the ‘fresher,” he said, taking a step toward the door before Rey stopped him.

“Sit,” she said, pointing to the bed. Poe raised an eyebrow at her, but did as she said, walking over to sit on his unmade bed.

She walked toward the fresher, dodging the pile of laundry on the floor, a mix of Poe’s and Hope’s by the look of it. She laughed to herself, still slightly amazed at the transformation undertaken over the past few months, from the spartan quarters of a career military man to the chaos of his little family.

Rey grabbed the kit from under the sink, setting it on the side table when she stepped between Poe’s open knees. She tilted his head back slightly, her fingers gentle as they ran over the livid skin. He winced as she touched a particularly red area just to the right of his eye, Rey pulling back her hand.

She leaned over and placed a kiss on the spot, Poe’s eyes falling closed under her touch. It was a trick she learned teaching the kids. As far as she could tell, it had no medicinal purpose, but it always seemed to make the patient feel better.

Poe was no exception, his head falling forward to rest directly between her breasts as his arms went around her waist, pulling her toward him. Her hands went to his hair, the gray starting to make a real statement in his black curls.

He pulled back slightly, looking up at her. She felt the flush creep up her neck unbidden at the look in his eyes, not needing the Force to tell her what he was thinking. Her own desire spooled behind her navel, hot and uncertain as she ran her hand from his hair down his cheek, finally cupping the smooth line of his jaw. His eyes floated closed again as he leaned in to the touch.

She hesitated for a second, still not sure if she wanted to take that final step, knowing exactly where it would lead. As she looked down at him, she realized with a light jolt that she trusted him again, the time spent both together and apart these last months making them both stronger. She was ready. She stroked her thumb across his cheek as she made her decision, bending over to mold her lips to his, all thoughts of the medkit forgotten.

Poe responded to her instantly, his hands wrapping around her waist to bring her closer as she deepened the kiss. Rey climbed on to the bed, putting one leg on either side of Poe’s hips without breaking the kiss, sitting back on to his lap so their heights were more evenly matched.

Poe pulled back, his breath coming in quick bursts against her lips. “Gods, are you sure?” he asked, his forehead leaning against hers.

She nodded, their heads banging together a little. “Yes. I want this. I want you.”

“I haven’t been with anyone since you,” he confessed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Rey’s face heated slightly. “I’m clean. I got checked out after…”

Poe’s face fell slightly, that was obviously not the news he wanted to hear. She held her head high, daring him to say something about it. He simply nodded and kissed her again, his hands going in to her loose hair.

Rey started on the buttons on her uniform, Poe racing to catch up with his own. They both shucked the jackets at the same time, Poe leaning forward to kiss her as Rey started to pull up the white shirt he wore underneath. They broke apart long enough for Rey to get the shirt over his head, Poe kissing a mark onto her neck before relieving her of her shirt and breast band.

Rey let her hands roam over his shoulders as his mouth went to her breasts, sucking first one nipple and then the other, teeth and tongue adept enough to make her moan.

“I’ve missed that sound,” he confessed, a filthy grin on his face. Rey closed the distance between them, her lips insistent on his as she let him lay her down on the bed. His mother’s ring bounced off her chest, a solid reminder of what they had lost.

Poe moved his attentions back to her neck as Rey reached for the fasteners of his pants, her hands feeling just how much he wanted her. Poe paused for a moment, his eyes drifting closed as she palmed his cock through the thin fabric of his underwear, heavy breaths warming her neck.

He pulled back, her hand coming out of his pants, as he worked on getting hers off, Rey lifting her hips so he could pull them all the way down.

Poe moved toward her face, Rey placing a hand on his shoulder to push him back down. “Not so fast,” she said, her smile a little feral. His returning smile was equally fierce, maintaining eye contact as he kissed down the length of her body.

He paused at the edge of her underwear, looking for one final confirmation before they crossed that line again.

“The next time you kiss me, I want to taste myself on your tongue,” she said, watching as Poe’s face went blank for a second, a complete system reboot.

He recovered quickly, the smile returning to his face as he asked “Where did you learn to talk like that?”

“My commanding officer,” she answered as he opened her legs. “Taught me everything I know.”

Poe smirked as he draped her legs over his shoulders, one hand splayed on her stomach as he absently stroked her with his thumb. He placed a soft kiss on her clit before exchanging his lips for his tongue, the combination of sensations making her thighs twitch involuntarily around Poe’s ears.

He alternated lips and tongue as Rey squirmed beneath him, her breaths coming in rapid bursts. Poe slid two fingers into her aching pussy, the subtle stretch giving her something to clench around. He crooked his fingers upward as he sucked hard on her clit, Rey arching up despite the gentle pressure from his other hand.

The feeling was starting to pool low in her belly, Rey holding her breath to chase it, when Poe started teasing with his tongue, hitting every spot but the one she so desperately needed.

“I’m so close, please,” she begged, Poe smirking between her legs. He kissed her thigh, still working her with his fingers, but it wasn’t enough, not nearly enough.

He ran his nose up and down her inner thigh once before turning his attention back to her bud, slipping a third finger into her for good measure.

He worked her back up, methodically hitting that magical spot inside her as he flattened his tongue on her clit, Rey’s entire body exploding in stars as she called out. Her hips bucked as he worked her through it, not stopping until her back was flat on the bed.

Poe took her legs off his shoulders, kissing the inside of each knee before gently laying them on the bed. He made his way to where Rey was laying, blissed out amongst the pillows.

“As promised,” he said, his kiss sloppy and open mouthed, Rey tasting herself as she kissed him back.

She reached down and started working him out of his pants, breaking the kiss so she could slide them completely off. Poe took care of his underwear, tossing them across the room as Rey giggled. She had forgotten how easy this all was with him, how natural they had always been together.

Rey laid back on the pillows, looking up at Poe as he propped himself on an elbow, softly stroking her hair.

“Gods, I’ve missed you, Sunshine.”

Rey smiled, pulling him toward her so he hovered over her body, balancing on his forearms. The ring dropped onto her chest again, Rey using the chain to bring him down to her. She kissed him, feeling his hardness pressed against her thigh as he shifted between her legs.

“Are you ready?” he asked, pulling back to look into her eyes.

“Yes,” she said as he ran a hand across her slit, Rey’s hips arching up toward him.

He sat back, lining himself up at her entrance. Rey felt the slight pressure, the stretch as she opened to accommodate his size. He went in agonizingly slow, Rey feeling every inch of him until he was completely buried between her thighs.

Poe stilled for a moment before rearranging her knees for a better angle, his knowledge of her body second only to her own.

He stretched himself over her again, kissing her neck as he started to move inside her, the drag and pull causing heat to bloom all over her skin. She could see the sweat collecting at his hairline already, his forehead giving off a shimmery glow in the low light.

Poe reached a hand between them, stroking her with each thrust. She was starting to feel it, that slight build that could definitely lead somewhere with exactly what they were currently doing, but Rey had other ideas.

“Switch,” she said, wrapping her legs around Poe’s hips and giving a twist. He smiled, wrapping his arms around her before rolling on to his back, somehow never breaking their connection.

Poe looked up at her, eyes heavy-lidded in pleasure as she readjusted herself on his cock, Rey moving experimentally with the new position. She rocked her hips forward, Poe’s fingers back on her clit as he thrusted up, the stimulation almost too much. She made an involuntary sound, Poe catching on and repeating the move with similar results.

Rey could feel the sweat drip between her breasts, one of Poe’s hands moving to trace the thin scar at her waist as she closed her eyes and chased the feeling of him all around her.

“Rey,” he said, her eyes popping back open. “There you are.”

He stroked her hip, Rey reaching for the chain around his neck. A quick tug and he was sitting up, his knees slightly bent as he moved them back to lean against the headboard.

This was better, the angle just right and she could touch him like this, feel his heart beating next to hers as she ground down on him. His hands were on her hips again, one thumb tracing her scar over and over again, a slightly lost look in his eyes.

“Hey,” she said, bringing his attention to her face. She wanted him in the present with her, not worrying about the past. “Stay with me.”

He smiled, all worry vanished as he reached down to play with her clit, thrusting up as she ground down, finding that familiar rhythm once more.

It was quick work from there, Rey already starting to feel the tightening in her core, her stomach clenching under Poe’s expert touch.

“Come for me, baby,” whispered Poe, his breath hot on her ear.

She held on for two more strokes before the orgasm overtook her, her breath leaving her body in a forceful burst, head dropping forward onto Poe’s shoulder as she clenched around him.

He came without warning, Rey still feeling the aftershocks of her own orgasm as he stilled, spilling into her.

They fell back against the headboard, a pile of sweaty, boneless flesh. After a few seconds, Poe laid them down on the bed, slipping out of her in the process. Rey’s skin was sticky as she laid her head on Poe’s chest, Poe placing a kiss on her forehead as they both fought to catch their breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked, Rey snuggling deeper into his chest.

"Never better."

She started to drift off to the steady beat of his heart, knowing she needed to get out of bed, clean herself up, use the fresher, but she was too kriffing content to do anything about it.

Poe shifted underneath her, carefully laying her onto the mattress as he slid out of bed. She heard the water run for a second before he came back out with two small towels, gently spreading her legs to clean up the mess he left behind.

Rey watched as he dropped the towels, crawling back into bed. He pulled her back into his arms, kissing her briefly as she fought sleep, happiness blooming in her chest for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you in October!


	17. Day Five Hundred Ninety-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey figure out their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but I'm back! Hopefully the rest of this is worth the wait!

Poe woke up slowly, warmth enveloping the left side of his body as Rey shifted in her sleep. He knew it was early - he always got up early - but the lack of windows in his room made it difficult to tell exactly how early it was.

Trying not to wake up Rey, he shifted slightly, reaching for his chrono on the side table. 0600. _Not bad,_ he thought. That was actually sleeping in for him these days.

He extricated himself from Rey’s limbs carefully, the Jedi still not waking as he stepped in to yesterday’s pants and found a shirt without a stain on it. He knew he was unlikely to run into anyone this early in the morning, especially after last night. There was enough whiskey and hullstripper being poured to give a cantina a run for its money. Anyone not on duty would be nursing their hangovers well in to the afternoon, and most likely more than a few on duty as well. He probably should monitor that, but honestly, it had been a rough week. One day wouldn’t kill them. He hoped.

Poe walked back over to the bed, readjusting the blankets so Rey was completely covered before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

The side of his face pounded in unison with his heartbeat as he walked out of the room, his eye definitely a little swollen this morning. They had forgotten all about the bacta last night, not that he was complaining.

He thought about last night as he walked toward the mess hall, the memories of their bodies together bringing heat to his skin. It had been amazing, but then again the sex had never been their problem. It was what came after that they struggled with, the conversations and the honesty and the sharing.

But he didn’t want to get ahead of himself. There may be no ‘after’ for them this time, not if Rey wasn’t interested. Hells, Rey may be gone before he even got back to his room, though he doubted it. That woman was only functional before 0700 when she was forced to be.

Poe turned the corner into the mess, stopping at the table where Snap sat, caf untouched in front of him, head in his hands.

“What are you doing up?” Poe asked, sitting down next to his friend.

“You don’t even want to know,” he said, taking a tentative sip of the drink. “Blue’s got 0900 patrol this morning. Need to get as much caf down as humanly possible before then.”

Poe’s eyebrow shot up at the captain.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’ve already been to medical. Sober as the day I was born. And no one in Blue is going up unless they show me their paperwork. Though, I’m hoping some of them were smarter than me.”

Poe nodded, his duty as commanding officer done. Snap gave him an appraising look.

“And what brings you here so early in last night’s clothes, General Dameron,” said Snap, taking another drink from the mug in front of him. “Nice shiner by the way. I thought Rey was gonna help you with that.”

Poe smirked, heading in the direction of the caf maker. “I’m just here for the caf.”

“One cup or two?”

Poe shook his head, choosing to ignore Snap as he poured the two cups, adding a healthy amount of cream and sugar to the second.

He walked out the door as Snap called after him. “I see two cups, Dameron!”

The walk back to his quarters was quick, Poe not crossing paths with a single being or droid. Speaking of droids, he needed to find BB-8. They had inadvertently locked him out of the room last night. Once at his door, he used a pinky to key in his access, the door sliding opening with a near-silent whoosh.

He walked across the room, setting down his cup and picking up a spare shirt before kneeling down in front of the bed near where Rey had draped herself over one of the pillows, her soft almost-snores making him smile. He kissed her forehead, placing the cup of caf just under her nose, her eyes fluttering open after a second.

“Morning, Sunshine,” said Poe, smiling as she grunted her displeasure at being woken up.

“That…caf?” she asked, not quite willing to move yet.

He held the cup out to her. “Yup.”

Rey took in a deep breath, sitting up as the covers slid off her body. Poe only allowed himself to admire the freckles on her shoulders for a second before he handed over the shirt.

Rey smiled sleepily, taking the shirt and sliding it on before grabbing the cup from his hands. She took a long sip of the caf, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

“What time is it?” she asked, a little more human already.

“0630,” he answered, grabbing his own cup off the side table and taking a sip.

She growled, dropping back onto the pillows while she held up the cup of caf up to keep it from spilling. “Why am I up at 0630?”

He leaned over, placing a kiss on her lips, Rey responding by opening her mouth to him. She tasted like cream and sugar as he explored her mouth, the caf starting to slosh dangerously in their cups.

Rey pulled back for a second. “Ok, good reason,” she said with a smile, taking the caf from his hand and placing both mugs safely on the side table. She put her arms around his neck, dragging him back on to the bed.

Poe allowed himself to get lost in her, his lips moving to explore her neck, finding that spot just behind her ear that always made her moan. He had missed this, not just the sex, but how in-tune they were with each other, the closeness they had shared. It had been nearly eight months since he’d left her and he hadn’t so much as looked at another man or woman. He knew the second he walked away that she was it for him, there wouldn’t be anyone else. Now he just needed Rey to know that.

He pulled back, Rey following him up to a sitting position. They needed to talk about this, whatever it was they were doing, before it went too far. Again. If he was being honest with himself, they should have talked about it last night, but that ship had sailed.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, running her blunt fingers through his hair. He felt like purring at the touch. “Oof, we really should get some bacta on that,” she said as she caught sight of his eye, turning his face to get a better look.

“Are we doing this again?” he blurted out, Rey tensing up beside him. Her face temporarily closed off at his question, the walls of the past months snapping back into place in an instant. He didn’t blame her, not really, but his heart sank nonetheless.

“I sure hope not,” she replied, Poe trying not to let the disappointment show on his face. He looked down, trying to breathe through the panic. He knew this was a possibility, he’d been preparing himself for it even this morning, but hearing the words? Well, that was a whole different story.

“We need to do better this time,” she continued. Poe’s head snapped up, her words breaking him out of his thought spiral. “It has to be different. _We_ have to be different. I know I have to be smarter and less reckless. But I need to know you won’t leave me if I get hurt or make a bad decision or disobey an order.” She took a deep breath. “I can’t spend every waking moment second guessing every choice I make, not with what’s at stake.”

“I know, and I’m so—”

She lifted up a hand to stop him.

“Everyone I’ve ever loved has left me, but you were supposed to be different. I don’t know—” she looked down, tears gathering on her lashes. “I’m scared of what will happen if we can’t make this work.”

“Hey, look at me,” he said, cradling her cheek in his hand. “I’m so sorry, Rey. I was afraid and stupid and I made a mistake, the biggest mistake of my life. And we both know that’s really saying something.”

That got a chuckle out of Rey, the sound urging Poe to continue.

“I knew it the second I walked out that door. And I’ve spent every day since then trying to be a better man for you and for Hope and for the Rebellion. So if you decide you can forgive me, I’m all in, Rey. No more games, no more false starts, no more excuses. If you’ll have me and Hope, we’re yours until the end, whenever that may be.”

He took the chain off his neck, opening the clasp to slide the ring off. He felt the weight of it in his hand before extending it out to Rey. It didn’t need any further explanation, he was confident she knew exactly what he was offering her with that ring.

She looked him in the eyes and for a split second he could read the reticence there, the memory of the pain he had caused, before she smiled and extended her left hand for him to place the ring on it, nodding as tears filled her eyes.

As he slid the ring on to her third finger, he felt his entire life slide in to place with it. This was what he was fighting for, the promise of a life with the woman he loved, the chance to be a family, the hope that their children - current and future - will grow up in a galaxy that knows peace.

He realized he was crying as Rey reached up to wipe the tears, pulling him into a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

She pushed him over on to his back, throwing one of her legs over his hips to straddle him. He made quick work of removing her shirt, tossing it on the floor to be followed in quick succession by his own shirt and pants. He could feel her heat about three inches from where he wanted it, her ass brushing against his cock in a way that made his hips jerk.

She leaned down, presumably to kiss him, just as the door to his room slid open, Kes walking in completely oblivious.

“Say hey, we’re back, Dad! Oh kriff, Poe!” he said, covering Hope’s eyes and turning them both around to face the closed door.

Rey jumped off him like she’d been shocked, dropping back down to the bed and pulling the covers over her head.

“Hey, Kes,” she said from under the blankets, Poe laughing hysterically. He hadn’t been caught in bed like this by his dad since he was a karking teenager.

“Hi, Rey. While I’m happy you two are, uh, getting along, I really hope this means you two are back together and not just fuck friends,” said Kes, Poe choking on his laugh.

“Language, Dad! And anyway it’s called fuck buddies. But we’re not-” said Poe, Kes interrupting before he could finish.

“Hope and I are going to grab some breakfast and you two can meet us down in the mess. We can talk about this once everyone is… dressed.”

Kes opened the door, getting out of there as fast as he could without running, Poe dissolving into giggles again.

Rey elbowed him, hard, in the stomach. “This is not funny,” she said, finally pulling down the covers. She groaned. “I can’t believe he saw us like that.”

“Believe me, he was more embarrassed than we were,” said Poe, laughing again. “He called us fuck friends.”

Rey rolled her eyes at him before rolling out of bed, Poe reaching for her before she got too far.

“Hey, come back here. We’ve got a little time before he comes looking for us again,” said Poe, wiggling his eyebrows in what he hoped was a suggestive way.

Rey laughed. “How about we shower and go meet them instead. I don’t want your dad thinking we’re in here having sex,” she said, Poe admiring her naked ass as she walked toward the fresher.

“He just caught us having sex, I think the mystery is solved.”

“Almost having sex. He caught us almost having sex,” she said as she closed the fresher door, the lock clicking audibly.

***

Ten minutes later, Rey was setting down her tray across from Kes, she and Poe having showered and dressed in record time. Rose and Finn were at the table with him, smirking and desperately trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Rey sighed, pretty sure they were not going to live this down anytime soon.

Sure, it wasn’t the first time they had been caught — more than one rebel had gotten an eyeful in those early days on base — but Kes was different. He was her first father figure to last more than a couple of days, she really would rather he didn’t see her like that.

“So,” said Kes, feeding a cut-up piece of pancake to Hope. “What is going on here?” His voice was so serious, Rey half expected him to launch in to a shovel talk, though to which one of them she had no clue.

“We’re together,” said Poe, taking Rey’s left hand and bringing it to his mouth for a quick kiss. Rose gasped from across the table.

“Wait a sec, is that the ring?” she asked as she leaned closer.

Kes was off like a shot, thrusting Hope into Rose’s arms as he made his way around the table to grab Rey’s hand. He took a minute to examine the ring on the third finger of her left hand before leaning over to kiss the precious metal.

When he finally looked at Rey he was crying, the tears silently sliding down his cheeks as he dragged her out of the seat and wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug.

“Hija de mi corazón. Por fin,” he whispered in her ear, Rey starting to cry in his arms.

He pulled back suddenly, grabbing her hand and raising it above her head. “They’re engaged!” he shouted, loud enough for the entire mess to hear.

Rey’s face heated as the hall broke out in spontaneous applause, a few shouts of congratulations going up.

At the table next to theirs, Snap held his hand out to Iolo. “Pay up,” he said, credits exchanging hands.

Poe shook his head at them. “Nice, guys. Real nice.”

“Hey, I bet on true love conquering all. If that’s not romantic, I don’t know what is,” Snap said, a shit-eating grin on his face. Rey couldn’t help but laugh at his logic.

He got up and shook Poe’s hand. “In all seriousness, congratulations man. Don’t let her get away again,” he finished, pulling Rey into a hug. “See, I told you he’d come to his senses.”

Rey laughed again, feeling like the smile on her face was possibly permanent as more and more people came up to congratulate them — her students, the civilians she’d help out in the kitchens, even the former stormtroopers she sparred with. She’d spent so much of her life alone, it was hard to believe she knew this many people, let alone that this many people cared about her. It was enough to make the breath stutter in her chest.

Rose, with Hope still in her arms, pushed forward, using her elbows to muscle through the crowd. “Hey, pregnant best friend here, step aside,” she said as she handed the baby off to Kes and wrapped Rey into a hug.

“I knew it,” she said, smiling as Rey shook her head.

Finn had finally made his way to the front, using the path cleared by his pregnant wife. “Hey, thanks for waiting for me. And _I’m_ her best friend, thank you very much,” he said, pulling her into yet another bone crushing hug.

Rose rolled her eyes.

“Gee, thanks guys,” said Poe, a wry look on his face. “I’m really feeling the love over here.”

“Oh hush, Dameron. You’re the one who fucked this up in the first place. You don’t get a pat on the back for making things right,” said Rose.

Rey and Kes both burst out laughing, Finn trying to keep the smile off his face as he consoled his friend. “Don’t worry, man. I still like you.”

Poe shook his head. “Well that makes one,” he said with a laugh.

Rey watched his face change, the smile settling into something more neutral, more formal. She followed his eyes to where they were fixed on Jax, the crowd parting as he walked toward them.

She surreptitiously wiped her palms on her pants, her heart threatening to beat of her chest when he stopped in front of Poe. She wanted to reach out for Poe's hand but thought better of it. There was no need to throw their relationship in Jax’s face, especially after last night.

Speaking of Jax, he looked even worse than he did last night, the hangover certainly not doing him any favors. He cleared his throat, Rey on alert in case he tried something stupid. Again.

“So, uh, I’d like to apologize for my behavior last night,” he started, his voice rough. Rey snuck a glance at Poe, his face unreadable as he listened to Jax. “I was completely out of line, and I accept full responsibility for my actions. I understand if that means I have to face a court-martial.”

Poe let him sweat it out for a moment. He finally put a hand on Jax’s shoulder, the expression on his face softening into something just shy of a smile. “If the Rebellion was in the business of court-martialing its personnel, I have a feeling we’d all be in the brig. Leia gave me a second chance when I fucked up, I’m not sure what kind of a leader I would be if I didn’t do the same for you. Get yourself together and come back tomorrow ready to work. If that’s going to be a problem, we can talk about you transitioning off the council.”

Poe held out his hand, Jax hesitating just a moment before taking it. Rey let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate the opportunity.”

“Of course,” said Poe, his voice dropping so low she couldn’t hear what he was saying as he pulled Jax close. Jax’s eyes went wide for a moment before Poe released him with a clap on the back and a smile.

“Understood.” Jax turned his attention to Rey. “I owe you an apology,” he said, his eyes down. “There’s no excuse for my behavior last night, but I’m sorry.”

She nodded, accepting the apology.

“Congratulations, by the way,” he said, the smile on his face stiff.

She could tell how much the words cost him, how quick this must feel to him. And it was happening fast, even for her, her head still spinning from the events of the morning. Yet somehow, this felt right. They were at war. There would never be a right time, and Rey was sick of waiting. Sick of waiting for Kylo Ren to appear out of the corner of her eye, sick of waiting for the First Order to show up at their doorstep, sick of waiting for more of her friends to die.She didn’t want to waste one more moment of her life. She was going to spend the rest of her life with the man she loved, whether that was five days, five weeks, five months, five years, or five decades. And she wasn’t going to apologize for it.

She looked at Jax, the smile on her face genuine. “Thank you.”

Rey watched him go before she turned to Poe. “What did you say to him?” she asked, snaking a hand around his waist.

He put an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll tell you later,” he said, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Hey, Poe?”

He turned to look at her. “Yeah, Sunshine?”

“What does ‘engaged’ mean?”


	18. Day Six Hundred and Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe embark on their life together while the Rebellion experiences some complications in Leia's absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again.
> 
> I know it's been a while, so if there are any readers left, I hope you enjoy! We're in the endgame now, folks. I have a clear plan and the goal to finish this monstrosity before I go on vacation in May. 
> 
> (Also, I'm pretty sure I consistently spelled a name wrong in earlier chapters, which I'm now going to fix)
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments (but please be kind, I'm a little rusty!).

Rey sat up in bed, fear flooding her chest. Proximity alarms wailed in the distance. The First Order was here, she had to get to Command; she had to save the Rebellion. The bed shifted underneath her, another body moving on the mattress.

A hand touched her bare shoulder, Rey jumping at the unexpected contact. “Rey?” He shook her slightly, voice still rough from sleep.

“Poe?” she asked, the alarms starting yet again. No, not alarms, screams. “Hope?” She turned to the crib in the corner, the baby red-faced and crying.

Her heart continued to slam against her ribs as the tiny room she now shared with Poe (and Hope and BB-8) came into focus, desperately trying to shake the last vestiges of the dream. It had all seemed so real - the double cross, the panic, the alarms as the First Order dropped out of hyperspace right on the edge of Yavin 4.

“Rey, are you ok?” She turned back to Poe, his face creased with both sleep and worry. He raised his voice over the din. “You’re shaking.” Grabbing the blanket, he tried to wrap it around her bare shoulders.

“I’ve got her.” She ducked out of range, grabbing Poe’s shirt from the end of the bed and sliding it on. BB-8 whirled to life on its charging station, notifying them that Hope had been crying for 1.26 minutes so far. Poe moved to get up from bed. “It’s fine, go back to bed.” The smile she gave him felt fake, but it was enough to get Poe settled back against the pillows, the tan skin of his chest practically glowing in the dim light.

Wary eyes followed her as she stepped into a soft pair of pants and made her way to the crib, checking Hope’s diaper before she brought the baby to her shoulder. Patting her back as she walked the tiny bit of floor space afforded to them, she nearly tripped over BB-8, the droid trailing them with a concerned beep and a string of suggestions in binary.

“She’s ok, Bee. Just a little tired,” she said, more for her own sake than for the droid’s. She had no clue if that was the case or not, but it seemed the most likely culprit. BeeBee took her at her word, rolling back to its charging station so Rey could have the floor.

Hope just screamed louder. It was obvious she wanted Poe, reaching for him even as Rey continued to rub her back, whispering soft reassurances in her ear. She knew if she let him, Poe would have Hope soothed and down in no time, everyone back to sleep in under ten minutes. At least, that’s how the past few nights had gone.

But Rey needed to do this on her own. It wasn’t even that Hope didn’t like her. No, Hope was perfectly fine with her at playtime or dinnertime, early morning snuggles, any time during the day, really. It was only at bedtime that Hope cried for Poe, desperately needing the comfort of her father in order to fall asleep, not the random girl who sometimes sent pretty pictures back and forth in her mind.

The guilt gnawed at her. All those months she spent distancing herself from Poe because she was hurt and afraid (and yes, stubborn), she could have been here. She should have been here. In hindsight, all of her once-valid reasons seemed ridiculous, excuses made up to make her feel better about her choices.

Three days ago, she was barely responsible for herself, and now she was someone’s mother. Or, at least trying to be. Three days was plenty of time for a sandstorm to bury a ship on Jakku. Three days was more than enough time to travel across the galaxy. But three days was in no way enough time to make Rey a mother.

The simple fact that Poe trusted her with his tiny human seemed to terrify her more than any face-to-face with the Supreme Leader ever could. How could she do this when her only example sold her to a junk boss?

When she mentioned her fears to Poe, he told her she had nothing to worry about. Motherhood would come as naturally to her as everything else. Hope seemed to have reservations. Now, Rey needed to prove to herself that she could do this.

Hope snuffled into her shoulder before leaning back to look at Rey’s face.

“It’s ok,” Rey said when Hope’s face crumpled, her little chin wobbling as she took in a shaky breath that ended in another scream. She buried her face in Rey’s shoulder, tears and snot soaking her shirt.  Rey continued to rub her back, leaning a cheek against her head. “Shh, it’s ok.”

Another pass around the room turned her screams into cries. Two more laps and the cries eased into sniffling whines. One last loop and her breathing finally evened out with a heavy sigh. Rey continued her passage around the room even after she felt Hope go warm and boneless, not wanting to tempt fate.

Rey closed her eyes and smiled in victory.

The next time she passed the bed, Poe patted the empty space next to where he’d propped himself on his elbow, watching her this whole time. “Come back to bed.”

Oh, how she wanted to. Between the baby and their combined responsibilities to the Rebellion and their nightly reconciliations (Poe seemed determined to make up for lost time, not that she was complaining), she’d had less sleep over the past three nights combined than she used to get in a single night.

“I don’t want to wake her.”

He reached a hand out to her. “You won’t, I promise. C’mere.”

Rey settled herself on the bed, careful not to jostle Hope as she slid closer to Poe.

“See,” he said, putting an arm around Rey so she snuggled against his shoulder. He kissed Hope’s blonde curls as she continued to snooze on Rey’s chest, hiccupping in her sleep. Rey used the blanket to wipe the tears from her still-pink face. It was quiet for a moment while they both watched the sleeping baby.

“So, you wanna talk about it?” His voice was soft and even in the darkness of the room.

“What?” she mumbled, her eyes fluttering closed as Hope’s heart beat softly against her own.

He sighed. “The dream, Rey.” Her eyes flew open at his words, a jolt of fear streaking through her body.

She scooted back to get a better look at his face. “How do you know about the dream?” she asked, heart hammering against her chest.

“We’re all a little Force sensitive in this room.” He huffed out a short laugh. “Don’t look so surprised. You’ve been trying to get me to admit that since the first day we met. I can’t speak for Hope, but whatever was happening in your head woke me from a dead sleep.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. “Was it Ren?”

She closed her eyes, struggling to remember the dream. It had been months since she’d had a nightmare, and longer still since she’d dreamt of anyone or anything besides Kylo Ren. He generally just talked at her while she slept - some weird by-product of the half-severed bond - but this had been different. This had felt more like a vision than a dream, but the more she tried to remember it, the fewer details she could recall.

“Ren was there. Or was it Hux?” She closed her eyes, the various threads of the dream slipping through her fingers like the finest shimmersilk. “Hux double-crossed us? But that makes no sense. Why would we ever trust Hux?” Rey opened her eyes to Poe’s concerned face. “Hux double-crossed us and the First Order showed up here. All I could feel was the fear and the panic and the dread as we tried to evacuate.” The baby shifted on her chest, reminding Rey to take a deep breath. “It made sense at the time, but maybe it was just a dream.”

Poe kissed her scrunched-up brow. “Maybe." He didn't sound convinced. "Though, it wouldn’t hurt to look at the evac plans again. Or to start looking for another base.”

“Please tell me you aren’t taking Deso seriously.”

Poe sighed and Rey could actually _feel_ the weight of the Rebellion settle on his shoulders. It was all so much, so fast, for both of them. No wonder she was having nightmares. “He isn’t wrong. We’re vulnerable like this.” He twisted the silver band on her finger, the metal catching what little light there was in the room.

After that morning in the mess hall, he hadn’t laughed at her confusion (And in her defense, she’d watched Finn and Rose exchange rings and they were married. How was she supposed to know it was the _words_ that did it?). Instead, he patiently explained that the ring didn’t mean that they were married - at least not yet. The ring was a promise. A promise to marry her once the fighting was over, once they’d established the new government, once the First Order was no more.

She never gave a voice to her main concern with that plan: what if they didn’t make it to the end? What if they never saw the new government? What if the First Order won?

This was a war after all. There were no guarantees that any of them would make it - Leia’s death had made that painfully obvious.

She pushed the thoughts from her head. “Nah, I think we’re stronger together.” Leaning over as far as she could without waking Hope, she kissed his cheek.

Poe turned his head so their lips lined up, his mouth impossibly soft on her own. Before Rey could deepen the kiss, he pulled back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I love you.”

Normally, she’d fire off a glib _I know_ \- their shorthand, stolen from the woman they had both loved and lost - but the look on his face told her he needed to hear the real thing. “I love you.” She stretched her neck, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

Both Rey and Poe froze when Hope chose that moment to stretch, a wide yawn twisting her face. Together they watched as her little fist brushed against her eye before she settled back on to Rey’s chest.

With a small laugh, Rey released the breath she’d been holding. “That was a little too close for comfort. I should probably put her back in her own bed before she wakes again.”

“Nah,” said Poe, reaching over to the little girl. She didn’t so much as sigh as he lifted her with practiced hands, transferring her to his own chest with an ease that hinted at routine. “She’ll be fine. We do this all the time.”

“Poe!” She whispered, swatting his shoulder. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

“I didn’t realize you’ve been reading the handbook.” His laugh bounced Hope’s head slightly, earning another swat from Rey. “Sorry, it’s not funny. Don’t worry, she’s big enough now that it’s not as big a deal, I promise.” Placing another kiss on her forehead, he pulled her closer. “I just want both of my girls close.”

There was a shift in the air, something lingering just behind his words that put Rey on edge. Ignoring the growing feeling, she snuggled in closer, her hand finding Poe’s as the three of them drifted off.

 

Rey sat on the floor of the training room, her students gathered around her in two semi-circles as they silently meditated. It was Rey’s favorite part of every session, those minutes at the end where they cleared their minds and focused solely on the Force around them. The kids’ favorite, on the other hand, was whacking each other with the practice sticks.

Hence, the extra meditation today.

She had been taking them through Form III with the sticks when Arvel decided to use a move straight out of Djem So, swiping Bren’s legs out from under her. The small girl popped back up with a vicious parry Rey couldn’t even classify into a form and before she knew it the entire room had turned into bedlam.

_Gods_ , she thought desperately as she watched the kids give up on the forms altogether in favor of simply swinging the sticks as hard as possible and trying to make contact, _Cora picked a hell of a day to be sick_.

In her defense, she probably could have stopped this before it began had she been working on more than two hours of sleep. Thankfully, none of them had been practicing their shielding like she’d asked, so it was a simple matter of freezing everyone in place while she removed the sticks from their hands.

So they meditated, hopefully finding some of the balance they sorely needed. And yet, Rey couldn’t even be all that upset, today’s loss of control coming at the end of a tough week.

Leia’s absence loomed large on base, her death casting a shadow that reached every member of the Rebellion, large or small. That shadow was especially dark for her young students, Leia having spent a number of hours teaching them and telling stories about her adventures throughout the galaxy.

Then there were the rumors going around base about possible relocation of children and refugees. The council had discussed it at length the day after Leia’s funeral, the information spreading quickly.

Deso had been the one to bring the discussion to the table.

_“We have too many civilians and children on base,” he said, in the middle of their discussion about the contingency plans left behind by Leia._

_Just like that he had everyone's attention. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Rose placing a hand on her growing belly, Finn's joining a second later. The look on Finn’s face could only be described as dangerous._

_That topic had been weighing on Poe, too, Leia’s death bringing all their weaknesses into sharp focus. Still, she felt him stiffen beside her, a wave of panic threatening to overflow._

_Her hand stilled midway between their bodies, Rey quickly squashing the instinct to reach out to him. They had agreed not to blur the lines between personal and professional, though at this point, it wasn’t like anyone at this table was unaware of their relationship. Hells, most of them had bet in the pool for when they’d get back together. But with Leia gone and the brand new Rebel Alliance hanging on by a thread, she could understand Poe’s need to set boundaries._

_Poe took a deep breath, managing to keep his voice even as he spoke. “And what do you suggest we do with everyone? We’ve been taking in refugees for well over a year now. Do we just say ‘Thanks for all of your help, but you can leave now’? Or better yet, ‘Join up or get out’? Because that doesn’t sound suspiciously similar to the very group we’re trying to defeat.”_

_He had a point. Join or die was the First Order’s MO (if they even gave you the option). Being somewhat of a refugee herself (albeit of the royal variety), Leia had prided herself on accepting anyone who showed up on the Resistance’s (now Rebellion’s) doorstep. And thank gods for that. The civilians on base ran nearly every function that was not strictly military-related from the laundry rooms to the mess hall to the janitorial. Hells, they even took over the quartermaster’s duties, running the office with more efficiency than any of their military personnel could muster._

_Then there were the children._

_Of course that was a non starter for Poe, and Deso knew it. There was nowhere else for Hope to go, no family left besides Kes to take her. And he was too valuable to lose right now._

_“Ok, so what happens when the First Order finds us? Because they always do, it’s only a matter of time. So, what then? How do we keep these people safe when Hux and Ren show up?” Deso leaned back in his chair. “The rest of the Alliance is starting worry, what with the whole Leia situation.”_

_“Oh, you speak for the entire Rebel Alliance now?” He didn’t raise his voice, but only Rey seemed to realize that made him more dangerous, not less. “Funny, I don’t remember appointing you to that council.”_

_“Back channels and all that. There are a few people who remember me from my days in the New Republic.”_

_“The good old days, right Major? Like when you denied that the First Order was a threat, despite all the evidence to the contrary?”_

_Rey snuck a glance at Poe, his face twisted into something smug and a little spiteful. The two men had been tiptoeing around each other for over a year, barely concealed contempt simmering just below the surface of every exchange. Apparently, their tentative peace had just ended._

_“Well,_ General _Dameron, not all of us can afford to be quite so cavalier with our choices. Back then you’d just lost a lover, and now your daughter is clouding your judgment. How are we supposed to know that you have the Rebellion’s best interests at heart?”_

_Poe stood so fast, he sent his chair flying back two feet._

Oh, fuck it, _thought Rey, placing a calming hand on Poe’s forearm. Her touch had the intended effect and Poe froze, never taking his eyes off the Major. The fact that Deso would use Muran_ and _his daughter against him gave Rey half a mind to vault the table and show him how they settled arguments on Jakku._

_The rest of the room sat in stunned silence, no one able to look away._

_Poe’s chest heaved as he struggled to bring himself under control, sitting back down after a tense thirty seconds spent staring the man down. “Thank you for your concern, Major. But I think I have a little more insight into the concerns of the Alliance.”_

_“More than Leia Organa herself?” There was a self-satisfied little smirk on Deso’s face as he pulled out a datapad, letting it clatter onto the table in front of Poe. “Because Leia sure seemed to think it was a good idea. I found this buried in the stack of datapads you assigned to me. Looks like Hoth was the frontrunner.”_

_Poe grabbed the pad from where it landed in front of him, quickly scrolling through the first few pages. The tops of his cheeks went pink as he skimmed the documents, an obvious tell. “I’ll have to take a better look at these, see what we’re working with.”_

_“It’s all there. Hoth. Dantooine. Tierfon. Pros and cons of finding a new base versus relocating all non-military personnel. It’s nothing personal General, I’m just trying to do what’s right for the Rebellion.” He smiled, the look on his face making it absolutely clear that this was anything but not personal._

The door to the training room clicked open, the wave of golden warmth pulling her out of her head as every one of her students turned to look at the new arrival. So much for meditation.

Poe stood just inside the doorway, a sheepish look on his face.

“Sorry… I, uh, thought you guys would still be sparring,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“We had a little incident with the sticks, so we’re meditating on balance,” she said, a hint of disapproval in her voice as she looked around the room at her students. “Do you need me?”

“Yeah, actually.”

Rey gave another stern look to the padawans as she stood up. “It looks like it’s your lucky day. You’re dismissed,” she said, the children immediately starting to get up and gather their things. “Not so fast. I expect you to _practice_ your shielding. I should not be able to freeze you that easily!” She finished over the shuffling of bags.

Poe made his way over to her, wrapping her in a quick hug. So much for those boundaries. “Hmm, I think I’m a little hot for teacher,” he growled softly enough that only she could hear. “Maybe you could use that voice-”

She elbowed him, conscious of a couple of the older girls giggling in the corner. “I think you have some admirers,” she said, nodding to the small group dragging their feet and throwing glances their way.

Poe shook his head, always a little bemused at his effect on the girls - and let’s be honest, the boys too - on base. He looked down suddenly, one of her students tugging on his shirt.

It was Mina, one of her youngest students, one of the two little girls Snap had brought back after the disastrous mission to Cadezia. Poe sank down on one knee.

“Mr. General Poe,” she said in her little voice once he was on her level. “Please don’t make us leave. We’ll be good, we promise.”

Poe looked up at Rey, his face a mess. Rey put her hand on his shoulder, attempting to send him a little comfort. He looked back to Mina.

“Hey, this has nothing to do with being bad or good, ok?” he said, putting his hand on the serious little girl’s shoulder. “I promise we’re gonna figure something out.”

Mina nodded and, her business with Poe concluded, turned and walked out of the training room.

Poe got off the floor with a soft grunt, waiting until the last of her students had left before turning to Rey. “I’m gonna fucking kill Deso. And whoever else couldn’t keep their mouth shut.”

Rey eyed him warily. “Should you really be making promises? You said this morning-”

“I know what I said this morning,” he snapped, running a hand through his hair. He sighed. “I’m sorry. This would be so much easier if half the base didn’t already know.”

“Is that was this is about?” she asked.

He shook his head. “No, the ship is ready.”

“The ship?”

“The ship, the one Leia commissioned on Kuat right before your…”

Rey finished the sentence for him. “My crash.”

“Yeah. It’s done,” he said, a smile finally returning to his face. His excitement was palpable. “You aren’t going to believe what she ordered.”

 

Poe stood next to Rey stood on the dry dock, smiling at the adorable way her mouth stood slightly ajar. He had done the same when the builder sent over the schematics earlier that morning, a full two minutes spent slack-jawed and staring before he could speak. Even knowing ahead of time, the sheer scale of the thing threatened to blow his mind.

Leia had ordered a Star Destroyer.

Well, not an actual Star Destroyer, but definitely a close relative. They christened it the Organa, based on some design from the New Republic that ended up on the chopping block thanks to the disarmament. So, Leia had come to Kuat all those months ago armed with the discarded plans and an ironclad contract courtesy of Lando Calrissian and bought them _hope._

Because that’s exactly what this ship was, hope. Hope for the entire Rebel Alliance, a resource they were running dangerously low on.

Poe didn’t want to think about all the allies they had lost in the short time since Leia’s death. As much as he hated to admit it, Deso had been right about that. The Alliance was nervous, there was no denying it. The leadership change from a former princess and experienced General to a “trigger-happy flyboy” was never going to be an easy one, but he hadn’t expected half the Alliance to turn on him. If even Deso could smell blood in the water, he was in trouble.

But this ship could be the key to keeping the Alliance together and under his command. The midday sun glinted off the hull, blinding in its intensity. While it utilized the same basic shape, it was sleek in all the ways that a Star Destroyer was clunky, soft curves replacing the harsh angles of the Imperial vessel. Except for his short and eventful stay on the Finalizer, it was the largest ship he had ever been on, yet still small enough to outrun any of the Resurgent class vessels the First Order favored these days.

The tour had taken three hours, though Poe wasn’t sure if that was because of the sheer size or the fact that Rose needed to stop and check every system at every engineering panel in the entire ship. She had burst into tears when she realized they had incorporated her bafflers and hyperspace tracking blocker into the design, Finn taking her to one of the eight communal ‘freshers to calm down.

Ten thousand. That’s how many this ship could hold. Closer to twenty if they used the double rooms as quads, according to their guide. Rey had leaned over during that part of the tour.

“Poe, we don’t have anywhere near that many people on base,” came her panicked whisper as their guide prattled on about closet space and blaster storage. “How the hells are we supposed to staff this thing?”

A smile spread across his face. “The Rebel Alliance.”

They ended up in one of the two hangars onboard, their footsteps echoing through the massive space.

“Room for 500 or so standard TIEs-” The guide seemed to realize who she was speaking to, twin spots of color rising on her fair cheeks. “I’m sorry, I mean, 350 X-wings. Each hangar comes with three lounges for pilots, two full-service maintenance bays…”

It was a hazard of doing business anywhere in the galaxy these days. The First Order was everywhere. No one in their party had missed the three First Order Star Destroyers under construction on their way to this ship, their skeletons looming over the landscape.

And so, they stood watching as multiple cranes gathered around the ship. He'd always wondered how they got something this big off the ground.

Rey broke the silence. “Do you think she knew?”

“Do I think she knew what?” He knew was talking about Leia without having to ask.

“Do you think she knew she was going to die?”

Poe tore his eyes from the ship to look at Rey’s face, her brow a little too tense to be truly impassive. “Where is this coming from?”

“I keep looking back and it’s like she was preparing us for this. The Alliance, the datapads, Threepio, this ship. It’s like she knew she wasn’t going to be around, that we’d need something to keep it all together.”

Poe looked away, trying not to think about the implications of that statement. He half wondered if it was her guilt talking - she had been the one eager to let Leia go on her own that day - but something told him it was more than that. That same something seemed to harden the resolve that had been building all morning.

“I’m gonna send a team to Hoth.” Now it was Rey’s turn to examine him, Poe feeling the weight of her gaze even as he stared straight ahead, watching the ship rise up out of the dock. “Just a scouting mission, nothing official yet. It was her next move. It’s what she would have wanted.”

“But, we can’t bring kids or civilians to Hoth,” she said, her voice barely audible over the calls of the shipwrights.

A heavy weight settled on his chest. “I know.” The head shipwright called an all clear, Poe tugging Rey back a few steps until they were in the designated safe zone with Finn and Rose.

The cranes disengaged as the ship roared to life, the rumble of the ion engines sending tremors up Poe’s legs. He squeezed Rey’s hand while they watched the Organa rise higher and higher, all their hope in the galaxy hovering just out of reach.


	19. Day Seven Hundred and Seventy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rebellion welcomes its newest member.

The feeling had snuck up on Poe. At some point along the way, this base had become home - not unlike the house he grew up in at the edge of this very jungle - and the people within had become family. Deso was right. He wasn’t leading this Rebellion with his head; he was leading it with his heart.

Rey always looked to him like he was a seasoned vet, and he supposed that was technically true, but what she didn’t understand, what no one seemed to understand, was that until Takodana, this had been a _cold_ war. Covert missions, hand-to-hand combat, a fair amount of spying, that had been the name of the game until the battle over Maz’s castle. Kriff, that was probably his first real firefight.

And this, what they were doing here, this wasn’t what imagined war to be. He was a soldier, and a leader at that. Life should have ground to a halt while they focused on winning this war. But here they were, getting married, having babies. Life went on in the quiet moments in between battles whether they wanted it to or not.

He wasn’t supposed to be this happy. He wasn’t supposed to be happy at all.

The guilt ate at him. Instead of focusing on the cause and ridding the galaxy of the First Order, he was busy playing house with a wife and daughter. And it absolutely terrified him. Now he had something to lose.

Rey. His wife. Nothing was official yet, but there was no doubt in his mind that that’s what they were: husband and wife. Kriff, most people already called her General Dameron. There was a particular look she got every single time someone called her that, a moment of pure joy when she thought no one else was looking that never failed to melt him into a puddle.

Hope. His daughter. He supposed there was nothing official there either, but she was his from the second he saved her from her mother’s arms. The way her face lit up whenever he walked into a room. The sound of her tiny voice as she shouted Papa. He would die for her, either of them really, no hesitation.

Maybe Rey was right. Maybe caring for them, loving them, wasn’t weakness after all. To know that all of this could be gone in an instant and do it anyway. Maybe it was strength.

The thing was, they weren’t losing, not by a long shot. Now, they weren’t out there winning Endor-sized battles, but minor victory after minor victory still chipped away at the First Order’s control. Allies continued to join the fight, a few even reclaiming their planets from the First Order’s grasp. If he was being honest, it made him nervous.

It wasn’t supposed to be this easy. It wasn’t supposed to be easy at all.

But the victories had left them cocky, complacent. Pilots were getting lazy on patrol, pathfinders were skipping exercises, even the former stormtroopers were just going through the motions. Rey had laughed and told him not to look a gift bantha in the mouth when he brought it up, always so certain of their impending victory. But if there was one thing Poe had learned by spending so much time with Rey and her students, it was to trust his gut. And his gut was telling him that something was off.

“Any word, General?” Major Connix came up behind him, one of the few other people in Central Command this late.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Not yet. From what I hear, babies take their sweet time.”

Rose had gone into labor nearly thirty hours ago and most of the base was already off celebrating the first new life of the Rebellion, conveniently forgetting that he or she hadn’t actually been born yet.

Connix smiled, her hand a light presence on his shoulder. “That they do, General. You want me to take over?”

How they had made it this far without a baby being born on base was beyond him, but here they were. There were three other pregnant women on base ( _weaknesses,_ he heard in Deso’s voice), though it looked like Rose and Finn’s kid would be the first by at least a week.

As such, they were running on a skeleton crew tonight ( _foolishness,_ shouted Deso in his head), Poe comforting himself with the fact that the Organa was keeping watch, two squads of X-wings at the ready in case the First Order chose today to drop by.  He’d even taken a shift on the radar, giving the poor kid who was scheduled an opportunity to join in the party.

Poe didn’t mind, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do. Kes was watching Hope, and Rose had asked Rey to be in the delivery room with her and Finn, so he’d probably be pacing the corridors if he wasn’t sitting here.

“Nah. I’ll be fine until we hear some news.”

She nodded, taking the seat next to him to monitor the open frequencies.

As they sat in silence, Rey’s words from a couple nights ago rattled around his brain.

_Poe picked up the toys scattered across every inch of the living room. Gods, when had they gotten this much stuff? It was like every time someone left the base, they came back with a toy for Hope. Not that he was ungrateful. But it was really piling up._

_Rey had convinced him to take the larger room afforded to him as leader of the Rebellion. He’d been hesitant at first - Leia had never taken the bigger quarters. Then again, Leia didn’t have two grown adults, an overactive droid, and a newly mobile toddler all crammed into an officer’s single._

_Rey’s sweet singing voice filtered into the living room through the door to Hope’s room, her choice of song making him smile. It had come as a shock the first time he heard her singing to Hope, not because it surprised him she was so good (though she was), simply because he’d never heard her sing before._

_He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the familiar song wash over him. It was the same one he sang to her on their first night on Yavin. The song his mother used to sing to him as a boy. And now Rey was singing it to their daughter._

_For a split second, he swore he could feel his mother there with him, listening to her song. It reminded him of how Rey spoke of the Force, of Luke’s words to Leia back on Crait. No one was ever really gone._

_The sound of a ship taking off outside their window broke him out of his reverie, Poe blinking as the feeling vanished. Looking around the empty room, his hand went to the spot her ring used to hang, fingers coming up empty. With a sigh, he brought his attention back to the task at hand, bending over to pick up a book._

_As he threw the final stuffed ewok into the basket, Rey walked into the room, closing Hope’s door behind her._

_“She’s down,” she said, dropping onto the couch with a tired sigh. “Not sure for how long. But she’s down.”_

_Following her to the couch, he deposited a kiss on her temple. “I’m afraid to ask how it went.”_

_“Three books, two glasses of water, and a song.” Her head found his shoulder, Poe wrapping an arm around her. “So, pretty standard.”_

_“How long do we have before she’s up again? Fifteen minutes? Twenty?”_

_Rey chuckled. “She chugged both glasses. I’d say no more than ten.”_

_Sighing, he sank deeper into the couch, one of Rey’s buns tickling his nose as she shifted on to his chest. His own tension melted away as she relaxed into him, her warm weight a reminder of everything good in his world. Within seconds, his eyes started to fall closed._

_“Poe?”_

_He pulled himself back from the edge of a dream. “Yeah, Sunshine?”_

_“Are we really going to leave all this?”_

_And just like that, he was up._

_“Rey.” It came out as more of a groan than an actual name. They’d been having this conversation (read: argument) on and off for months now, both at work and at home (not that there was much difference at this point), and he was_ tired _. “Can we please just enjoy the five minutes of peace and quiet we have left? I can’t have this conversation again.”_

_“Just hear me out…”_

_Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and let it out his nose, listening as Rey - yet again - plead her case._

_“…only makes sense if she didn’t know!”_

_He groaned. “Yeah, and we still have no way to know either way.” He reached over to where she sat facing him on the couch, taking both of her hands in his. “Rey, what’s going on? Where is this coming from?”_

_“I don’t want to leave.”_

_He gave her a look. “I’ve gathered that.”_

_With a sigh, she looked him dead in the eye. “This is the first place that’s ever felt like home. It’s where you grew up, it’s where we fell in love, it’s where we became a family.” She held a hand up, stopping him before he could interrupt her with the reassurances poised on the tip of his tongue. “All of us. This entire Rebellion feels like the family I spent my entire life waiting for on Jakku. And now we’re going to split it up? Because of a mistaken belief it’s what Leia would have wanted? She fought tooth and nail to keep families together and shelter refugees here. She built this Rebellion around them. There is no way her big plan was the split us all up.”_

_“Rey, those datapads were hers. She had worked on this.”_

_“Then why were they buried in her office? I know you gave those to Deso because you thought they were garbage. She sacrificed herself-”_

_He cut her off. “Again with this sacrifice stuff. There is no way for us to know that! I can’t base my entire plan for the Rebellion off a hunch.”_

_“Then why did she insist on going down to that platform alone. I_ always _escorted her. But that day she wanted no part of it. Why? Unless she knew what was going to happen.”_

He’d scoffed at her then, but the words stuck with him. It was rare that they disagreed on something so major, but Rey was adamant.  And Deso’s entire campaign against him predicated on Leia’s ability to lead them objectively and his inability to do the same.

But if Rey’s feeling was right, if Leia knew something was going to happen on that platform, then she’d done the same damn thing he would have done. She sacrificed herself. If she hadn’t declined protection, there was a chance she’d still be here. But there was also a chance that the people protecting her would be dead. And that included Rey.

So if Rey was right, rather than save her own life (arguably the best thing for the Rebellion and the galaxy) Leia chose to save Rey’s.

That changed everything. It also changed nothing.

He had no way to know what was going through Leia’s mind those last days, what she knew and what she didn’t know. All he had were some old datapads and what looked like a plan, one he chose to honor. The relocation was happening.

The call came over his personal comm.

“She’s here! It’s a girl!” Finn‘s voice cracked over the connection. “She’s so beautiful. Get down here, man!”

Poe looked up to find Connix smiling at him. She tipped her head toward the door. “Get out of here. I’ve got it under control.”

With a parting smile, he took off, running through the halls with a speed that would normally send him crashing in to someone at every turn. Thankfully, most everyone still on base was crammed into the hangar, the sounds of an old Alliance drinking song reaching his ears as he ran past the open doors.

Stopping in front of the medbay doors, he bent over to catch his breath, the months of desk work taking a toll. Kriff, he needed to get out more, maybe start doing morning drills with the pathfinders. His sixty-year-old father was probably in better shape than he was.

Just as he was about to push through the doors, they swung open, Rey walking out, her face wan and eyes wide with horror.

“Rey? Is everything ok?”

She blinked at him once, twice, three times before comprehension dawned on her face, like she was struggling to bring him into focus.

“Poe. Yeah, everything is… I didn’t know bodies could do that.”  She was looking anywhere but at him, eyes wild as she scanned hallway. “I mean, I knew bodies did that. But I don’t think my body can do that.” When her eyes met his, they gave a fair impression of a cornered animal. “Did you know bodies did that?”

Poe struggled to keep a smile off his face. It really wasn’t funny. “Yeah, I had to help deliver a baby on Mirrin back in the day. Messy business.”

Nodding absently, she wrapped her arms her midsection, folding in on herself.

Poe reached out, bringing her into his arms. She came willingly. “You’ve been up for what, thirty hours?” She nodded into his shoulder. “How about I take you home for some shut eye?”

That seemed to break her out of the haze. “No, I can go myself.” She gave him a faint smile, looking a little more like herself. “Finn and Rose are waiting for you. Go meet the little rebel.”

“Are you sure? I can come back.” He grabbed the hand closest to him, running a thumb over the smooth silver of her ring.

“I’m fine, Poe. Really.” Another weak smile. “It’s just been a long day.”

She had already taken a step toward their hallway, his arm stretching. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” she said, dropping his hand as she took another step backward. Her face looked almost grey in the fluorescent overheads. “Go on.”

Pushing through the doors to the medbay, he was greeted with a flurry of activity, med droids and medics rushing around, linens and instruments in their hands, every human with a smile on their face.

A helpful medic pointed him toward Finn and Rose’s private room, Poe knocking lightly at the door.

Finn’s voice was soft, barely more than a whisper when he answered, “Come in.”

The door opened with a soft push, Poe’s eyes struggling to adjust in the dim room. Blinking, the small family came into focus. Rose sat up in the small bed, a tiny bundle of blankets in her arms, while Finn grinned down at her. _No, at them_ , he thought as the bundle let out a soft burble.

Finn looked up to find Poe hovering near the door, crossing the room to drag him closer. “Poe, I’d like you to meet Paige Rey Tico.”

Poe’s eyes pricked with tears as he looked down at the baby. Of course they would name her after Paige, the hero who saved them all from the dreadnaught. The sister who Rose missed daily. Only Poe had mixed feelings about her sacrifice, thanks to his own baggage.

Paige had been- Gods, where to even begin? Paige had been there when he was nothing but a hot-shot recruit, spouting off at the mouth to cover the fact that his heart was a gaping open wound thanks to that business with Muran. Late into a night of sabacc and way too much of that hull stripper Snap tried to pass off as legitimate booze, they found themselves naked and alone in his quarters. One thing led to another, and their nightly rendezvous became a habit. A fun, easy, mutually beneficial habit built on adrenaline and need.

Until it wasn’t. Their final conversation still brought shame to his face. To say he didn’t handle her confession well would be the understatement of the century. He made excuses at the time - he wasn’t ready, he was still mourning, the Resistance left no room for anyone else in his life, this _was not_  their unspoken deal - but he knew the truth. He’d treated her like shit. And she deserved so much better than that.

And yet, he’d been the one spared. He’d gone up against a dreadnaught alone, and it was Paige who ended up dead. The Force seemed to have one hell of a sense of humor.

But this wasn’t about him. This was about two of his best friends and the tiny new life they had brought into the world, who had just opened her eyes to look at him.

She was beautiful, this new Paige. Her skin was still a little pink from the business of being born, those almond eyes so dark he was sure they contained all the secrets of the galaxy. Then there was the shock of dark hair perched on top of her head, a little matted by something Poe chose not to look at too carefully.

There were the tears again. “She’s beautiful.”

It came out more breath than voice, Rose smiling up at him.

“You wanna hold her?” Rose shifted the baby, earning an indignant squawk from her daughter.

His heart hammered in his chest. Looking down at Paige, he couldn’t believe humans came this small. Sure, he had a kid, but she had already been a little more sturdy when he took her in. Paige looked so breakable. “Uh, I don’t-” he started, but Rose was already reaching over to put the baby in his arms. She settled into him with a coo, eyes falling closed.

Taking two steps back, he settled in to the lone chair, never taking his eyes off the soft creature in his arms. He could feel her heartbeat on his forearm, a steadying pulse that proved there was still good in the universe.

“Oh, Gods, she’s perfect, guys.”

Finn chuckled. “I know, right? I’m gonna go let everyone know the good news. You need anything, Rosie?”

“No, I’m good,” she replied, tilting her face up for a kiss.

Finn doubled back to give his daughter a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

Poe couldn’t look away from Paige, running a finger over her cheek, her nose, her tiny little fingers. “You know, whatever happened in here today broke my wife. I’m pretty sure we won’t be having any more kids now.” Tearing his eyes away from the baby, he gave Rose his best wry smile.

“Her? What about me? Though, I will admit, she did look a little pale there towards the end.” Rose laughed, a wince playing across her face. She shifted uncomfortably. “She’ll recover. We both will.”

He nodded, turning his attention back to Paige. She was starting to move around in his arms, making little snuffling noises like she was working herself up to something.

“Uh, oh. I think someone’s hungry,” he said when her mouth started opening and closing.

Rose held out her arms. “I can take her. Can you grab a nurse or something? I’ve never done this before.”

Poe’s face heated as he placed the baby back into her arms. “You want me to get Finn, too?”

“If you see him.”

He nodded, leaning over to kiss both Rose and Paige on their foreheads. “Congratulations, Rosie. She’s perfect.”

Rose beamed up at him. “Thanks, Poe.”

With that, he crossed the room, letting himself back into the medbay.

“Uh, Rose wanted to try feeding Paige,” he said, when he found a nurse, pointing back toward the room. “I think she needs…”

“Don’t worry, General Dameron. I’ve got it.” The girl was so young, she looked about fifteen when she smiled at him.

He watched her knock once before entering the room, disappearing behind the closed door.

“General Dameron,” came Dr. Kalonia’s voice from the other side of the ward. She sat in an old desk chair, feet resting on the counter in front of her. Raising a tumbler toward him, she brought the amber liquid to her lips. “Join the celebration.” She let off a short laugh. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m off duty, Dameron.”

With a shrug, he crossed the room, accepting a fresh pour from the doctor. It went down smooth, Poe absently wondering how she got her hands on the good stuff.

“Today was a good day, General Dameron.” She clinked her glass against his, a small smile on her face. “A very good day.”

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“The other General Dameron did well in there. Very calming.”

Poe snorted into his whiskey. “Yeah, well she came out looking a little shell shocked.”

“They always do. Well, I’m off to bed.” Downing the glass in one, she stood, stretching out her back with a groan. “I’m getting too old for these thirty-hour days.”

“Night, Doc.” he said as he finished his own glass, leaving it on the counter with the rest.

He found Finn in a circle of former stormtroopers and pathfinders and pilots, a cigar in hand. When left to their own devices, the three groups rarely mixed, then again, Finn had that effect on people.

“Poe!” shouted Finn having spotted him hovering around the entrance. “Come join us!”

Poe chuckled, making his way toward the group. “Hey, buddy. You been drinking?”

“I’m a Dad, we’re celebrating!”

“Yeah, so am I. Which is how I know that we need to get some caf into you and get you back to Rose and Paige. C’mon big deal.” He hefted up Finn, the former stormtrooper not putting up any resistance as Poe dragged him toward the pot of caf.

Cup in hand, he sent a slightly more sober Finn off to the medbay with a promise to stop by in the morning.

The sun was just starting to peek over the trees as he made his way back their quarters a full thirty-one hours after he left. Entering the room, he sent a silent prayer to anyone listening up there that Kes would keep Hope for a few more hours.

He found his way to the bedroom in the half-light coming through the windows (a luxury he was still getting used to), kicking his shoes off and stripping down to his boxers before dropping onto the bed, exhausted.

Trying not to wake Rey, he scooted over until his chest was flush with her back, an arm draping over her midsection.

She mumbled something unintelligible into her pillow.

“Feeling better?” He placed a kiss on her jawline.

“Mmmhmmm.” Shifting on to her back, she turned to face him. “How are they doing?”

“Well, I got kicked out of the room when it was time to feed Paige and I had to sober up Finn before dragging him back to the medbay, so you tell me.”

She giggled, her breath hot on his bare chest. “Honestly, I’ve never seen them happier.”

“Me either.” He kissed to tip of her nose. “They named her after you.”

“They named her after Paige,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“I distinctly remember hearing the name ‘Rey’ sandwiched between ‘Paige’ and ‘Tico.’”

A smile small played across her lips. “I suppose.”

“How are you handling it?”

“I’m told the images will fade,” she said with an exaggerated shudder. He laughed, earning a sleepy smile from Rey. “Seriously though, can you imagine? Your curls and my freckles and ten fingers and ten toes.” She sighed.

“What about my nose?” That got a laugh. “We have time.”

“Do we though?” Her voice cracked, sending Poe’s heart into his throat. “What if…” She let the words hang there a second. “What if we don’t make it to the end?”

He brought a hand up to thumb away her tears. “Whoa, where is this coming from?” He was almost afraid to ask. “Do you feel something in the Force?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s just…” Her hand found his unshaved cheek, the soft rasp threatening to undo him. “For the first time in my life, I want something more than to just survive. I want to see Hope grow up and I want her to have brothers and sisters to play with and I want a house for them to run around and I want to grow old with you. I _want_. For the first time in my life, I have something to lose and it terrifies me.”

Her words echoed his earlier thoughts so perfectly, he half wondered if she’d plucked them straight out of his head.

“Come here.” He wrapped her in his arms, committing the feeling to memory. This was war, no matter how much they tended to forget it, and it wouldn’t do to make promises he had no way of keeping. But he couldn’t help himself. He swallowed down all his earlier doubts. “We actually have something worth fighting for. That’s why we’re gonna win this thing.”

If she heard the lie, she kindly kept it to herself.


	20. Day Eight Hundred - Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tip from a First Order informant sends a group of rebels into a trap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS FIC IS FINISHED.
> 
> That's right, all remaining chapters (plus an epilogue) have been written. I'll be posting weekly from here on out. Enjoy!

Rey’s eyes sprang open at 0600 sharp. It was rare that she woke before him, but Poe was still snoring softly next to her, just barely over the cold he caught from Hope over a week ago. Sliding over, she put her head on his bare chest, the steady beat of his heart doing nothing to ease the knot in her stomach.

For the first time in recent memory, she’d made it through an entire night of dreamless sleep. No inscrutable visions of the future, no horrific nightmares, no Kylo kriffing Ren shouting abuse at her for no other reason than the fact he could. It didn’t feel right. Maybe that was why she couldn’t shake this feeling of dread.

Ten more sleepless minutes passed before Rey sighed, knowing a lost cause when she saw one. With the base evac looming, there were always reports to read and manifests to approve, and Hope was sure to come barreling into their room at any moment. She could put the extra time to good use. Throwing her feet over the side of the bed, she made a move to get up, Poe’s hand catching her shoulder before she got too far.

“Stay,” he said, his voice deep with sleep. Rolling toward her, he wrapped both arms around her waist.

“I didn’t realize you were awake.” A full day’s growth rasped against her palm as Poe leaned in to the touch. “Hope will be up any minute.”

“Stay,” he said, more insistent this time, running his nose across her jawline before catching her lips in his own. Rey parted her lips, Poe’s tongue sliding against hers, no less tempting for its familiarity.

She’d never understand how people tired of each other, not when every single time with Poe felt like that first time, everything new and exciting and different. She could spend the next 40 years of her life doing this with him and it still wouldn’t be enough.

They were splitting up.

Come next week, Poe would head up the strictly military operation on Hoth, while Rey took charge of an outpost on Dantooine. Poe liked to refer to the plan as “Divide and Conquer.” Two generals, two bases, making it two times harder for the First Order to destroy them.

It was like history was doomed to repeat itself over and over.

She’d recognized the names from Poe’s old history books, even seen old holo-pics from both locations that Kes had stashed on the farm. They’d been here before, and in another twenty, thirty, forty years they’d probably be here again.

It didn’t sit well with her, the way history went in circles. Were they doomed to fight the same ideals over and over again? Because that’s all the First Order was when you came down to it - the Empire in shiny new packaging, re-branded for a new generation of fascists.

The original Rebellion had even split their numbers at one point. It terrified Rey, the way they were dividing their forces, but as Poe was quick to point out, that’s how they won the first time. They spread their numbers, so no loss was ever too great, not like when you took down a Star Destroyer. A well-placed shot could take out forty or fifty thousand personnel if the entire ship went up.

But she had much more pressing matters to worry about in that moment.

Pulling her closer, Poe let one hand tangle in her hair. “C’mere, Mrs. Dameron.”

“That’s General Dameron to you,” she replied with another kiss.

His front teeth worried his bottom lip. “You know I love it when you pull rank on me.”

Rey giggled as he flipped her on her back, kissing down her neck as he nestled between her thighs. His length brushed against her thigh, already hard, the thin fabric of his sleep shorts doing little to contain him. Rey wrapped her legs around his hips, freezing with one hand wrapped around his cock when she heard the tiny voice just outside the door.

“Mama?”

Poe groaned, burying his face into her neck. “Just give her a minute, she’ll go back to bed,” he whispered, his breath warm on her skin. She could feel his heart beating rapidly next to her own as they waited in silence.

“Mama!” said Hope, a little teary this time.

Poe had just enough time to roll off her as the door slid open, BB-8 following behind Hope as she ran in to the room.

“Mama! Papa!”

Rey intercepted her before she could climb into the bed, picking her up and heading in to the main room. “Let’s go start the caf and give Daddy a minute,” she said, throwing an ‘I told you so’ smirk over her shoulder.

She could hear Poe lecturing BeeBee about bypassing locked doors as she hit the button on the caf maker, sitting down on the couch to read _If You Give a Mouse Droid a Cookie_ for what had to be the thousandth time (that week). Hope relaxed into her lap, making it barely halfway through the book before she was out.

Rey hugged the little girl to her body, placing a kiss on top of her blonde curls. She’d need a haircut soon, her curls bordering on unruly. There was a sharp pain behind her ribs when she remembered that she wouldn’t be there for it, not with evac just days away.  It would be the first in a long line of things they’d miss. The restlessness she’d been feeling all morning settled in her stomach, a queasy dread she couldn’t shake.

Poe walked out of the bedroom with BB-8 in tow, pulling on a shirt. “Oh, _now_ she decides to sleep.”

Pouring two cups of caf - one with cream and sugar - he crossed the room, setting them down on the small table before taking the seat next to her on the couch. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder as he put an arm around her and Hope.

“Are you okay?”

She wasn’t sure how to answer, couldn’t put a finger on what she was feeling, just that something was off.

“I don’t feel right,” she said, lifting her head to look him in the eyes. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

“Are you getting sick?” He placed his lips to her forehead, less a kiss than temperature check.

Rey shook her head, shifting the baby so she could reach her cup of caf. To buy herself some time, she took a sip, not sure what or how much she wanted to tell him.

“It feels like something big is going to happen,” she said, setting the cup back down as Hope shifted in her arms. She shook her head. “Don’t listen to me, it’s probably just nerves.”

“Maybe.” Poe looked skeptical. He ran a hand through his hair. “Should we call it off?”

He didn't need to specify, they both knew which operation he was talking about, and it wasn't the evac. Still, she considered it a moment, trying not to let her feelings inform her decision. “No. With the fleet split, we may never get another chance.”

Hope stretched, opening her eyes again. After a second’s hesitation she scrambled over to Poe, letting him hold her exactly ten seconds before she slid off the couch to go chase BB-8 on her still wobbly legs.

“Bee! Bee! Bee!” she chanted, the little droid rolling circles around her.

They watched her in silence, Poe’s hand finding Rey’s on her lap. His fingers twined with hers, thumb brushing the old brand on the inside of her wrist. For a brief second, he brought it to his lips, skin still warm from the caf. Her eyes fell closed, an attempt to hold on to the moment for as long as possible. The clock was ticking, and they were running out of time. Every moment brought them closer to the end.

A squeal from Hope broke her out of her thoughts. “Beeeeee!”

Rey opened her eyes in time to watch BeeBee streak across the floor followed by Hope, her uneven steps begging for a fall.

Poe used his best dad voice. “BeeBee-Ate, if you rile her up, so help me…”

The droid froze. Hope smashed into it a second later, nearly tackling Bee with her over-enthusiastic hug. She placed a sloppy toddler kiss on its dome, BB-8 beeping appreciatively.

Poe sighed next to her. “I’m gonna miss this.”

They weren’t taking Hope with them. Hoth was no place for children, and Rey would be too busy setting up the base and refugee center on Dantooine to care for the little girl, even with additional help. Plus, even with the military support, either base would still be a target. No, she would be safest far away from the Rebellion and their bases.

So Kes had agreed to take her and Paige with him to stay with an old friend on Naboo. Rose would go with them until she was ready for active duty, eventually rejoining the Hoth contingent as chief engineer. It killed them to lose Kes - he had trained every single one of their current Pathfinders - but they were out of options and Naboo seemed as safe a place as any.

Even the Yavinese villagers who had opened their homes to them those first few days were being encouraged to evacuate, space offered for anyone willing to come to Dantooine. The First Order wouldn’t hesitate to decimate the village if they showed up on Yavin looking for the rebels. Having the base here had made it too dangerous to stay.

She looked over at Poe, his eyes shining in the weak sunlight streaming through the windows as he watched their daughter play an incomprehensible game with their droid. This time she brought his hand to her mouth, placing her lips on an old scar. That drew his attention, those warm eyes turning the full weight of his sadness on her.

It nearly took her breath away.

Without thinking, she kissed him, not caring they had an audience, or that there were reports to read, or that the caf was getting cold on the table. It was nothing like the earlier kisses, no pooling heat, no burning desire, just a cold comfort as the salt pooled on their lips.

She pulled back, brushing away the tears that continued to escape his eyes. Placing a hand over hers where it rested on his cheek, he leaned in to her touch, eyes falling closed.

“Poe?”

“It’ll be okay,” he said, almost more for himself than for her. His eyes popped open, focused and clear. “This is the right thing to do.”

She wouldn’t push, not right now. Instead, she let him kiss her one last time before he stood, crossing the room in two steps to sweep Hope into his arms. She giggled when blew a raspberry on her tummy.

“Alright, missy. Time to get dressed.” He threw her over his shoulder as she squealed in delight, her laughter contagious.

Rey reached for one of the three datapads on the table in front of her, sinking back into the couch with a smile.

“Mama sing?” came Hope’s little voice from over Poe’s shoulder. “Mama sing!”

Rey looked down at the datapad where she had already queued up the first report. She desperately needed to go over the manifests before her meeting with Connix this morning…

“Mama?”

Dropping the datapad back on to the table with a clatter, she followed Poe and Hope into the bedroom. The Rebellion could wait.

***

Poe could feel it too, the growing restlessness of the day pooling in his chest as he sat in Command. It was probably just the placebo effect - Rey felt it, so now he felt it - but he took it seriously, nonetheless. The Force wasn’t an exact science, but she hadn’t been wrong yet. That was all the proof he needed.

Today’s operation could be a game-changer. Multiple squadrons of A- and X-wings, along with a fair amount of ground troops led by Finn, were in hyperspace, waiting to drop out above Arkanis.

According to one of their sources in the First Order, the main facility on the planet was vulnerable, a change in security procedures leaving them primed and ready for a visit from the Rebellion. It was terrible timing, what with the evac so close, but if this went according to plan, it could change the tide of the war.

Who knew, maybe it would even end the damn thing.

_No_ , he reminded himself, _don’t even think it_.

He was being superstitious, and he knew it, but so were the rest of them. So far, no one had voiced the obvious - what if this was the final blow?

They’d chased the First Order out of the outer and mid rims, blew up a fair share of Star Destroyers (both before and after Crait), and forced them to concentrate their numbers on Arkanis. If they could just strike the facility...

And, oh how he wanted to see that place burn to the ground. Arkanis housed the First Order’s largest training and reconditioning center. It was where Finn had spent his childhood, at least those parts of it he could remember. The very place Hope would have grown up had Black Squadron not stepped in that day on Cadezia. He shuddered to think what they would find there, the horrors contained within, his only comfort being they’d soon be in the Rebellion’s care.

Well, they’d be in Rey and Finn’s care.

Making that decision nearly killed him. It wasn’t a question of who should go where - that was painfully obvious from the beginning. It was a question of whether or not he could pull the trigger. If he could do what he knew was right for the cause.

He could and he did, to the dismay of pretty much everyone.

Tapping his fingers on the console in front of him, he checked the chrono on the wall. Twenty minutes until they dropped out of hyperspace. He caught Rey pacing out of the corner of his eye, locking eyes for a second. She looked as nervous as he felt, her normally calming presence unsettled in the Force.

Yeah, there was definitely something off about today.

They passed the time talking logistics and going over personnel assignments, the comms interrupting a heated disagreement on former stormtrooper placement.

“Black Leader to Rebel Base.”

Poe tried not to flinch at Snap’s casual use of his former title as he hit the talk button. “Go ahead, Black Leader.”

“Uh, was there supposed to be someone here?

He was rapidly losing patience. “Spit it out, Snap.”

“All scans are showing negative for life forms. Negative for droid activity as well. The facility appears to be abandoned.”

Poe cursed under his breath, checking the readouts for himself. Snap wasn’t lying. The warehouse, the training center, the entire kriffing complex was empty. He swore again, this time not bothering to keep it under his breath.

“General?”

“Yeah, we’re still here.”

“How would you like to proceed?”

That was a good question, one Poe wished could be answered by anyone else in the room. He looked over at Rey, the uneasiness they shared projecting clear across the room.

“Keep the squadrons in the air in case the First Order shows up. I’m gonna send Major Tico’s unit to check out the facility.”

“Copy. Black Leader, out.”

Poe waited until the airwaves were clear. “Rebel Base to Major Tico.”

“Go ahead for Major Tico,” came Finn’s voice across the comms.

“Take your squad and see what you can gather from the facility. Proceed with caution. Scans are coming back negative, but you never know with the First Order.”

“Copy you, General.”

In Command, they listened in as transports landed, Finn leading the units of former stormtroopers and pathfinders on the ground. Once they reached the facility, Finn split them, each group taking a section of the complex to clear.

It seemed to go on forever, the facility sprawling, and Poe’s imagination getting the better of him as they kept the chatter to a minimum.

He itched to have his boots on the ground, to be the one leading the charge. Instead, he was stuck behind the controls, helpless, his mind filling in the blanks between each “clear.”

“Clear.” A training room, sticks and truncheons lining the walls.

“Clear.” Barracks, the impersonal bunks stacked toward the ceiling, hospital corners as far as the eye could see.

“Clear.” The reconditioning center, chairs similar to the one he occupied on the Finalizer lined up from wall to wall.

A shiver went down his spine. He tried to remind himself it was only in his head, that there was no way he could know what they were actually looking at, but the dread and horror settled into his chest, nonetheless.

After what felt like an eternity, Finn called out the all clear. “There’s nothing here, Poe. No life forms, organic or inorganic. Not so much as a med-droid left behind. We found some computer systems left in intact though.”

That was… odd, but not wholly unexpected, especially if they made a quick getaway. Looking up from the console, he found the whole of the command structure looking at him, awaiting further instructions. Poe heaved a sigh.

“Grab as much as you can from the systems, then get the hells out of there. I don’t like this. Something feels off.”

“Roger, General. We’ll set up a perimeter just in case.”

Poe turned to Connix. “Get Snap on the line and let him know what’s happening. I want the squadrons in the air and on alert.”

The rest of his team chattered nervously around the Command Center, waiting to hear from the teams on the ground. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong, pulling up the latest communication with their First Order contact.

This was the first time her intel had been a bust. She’d been so sure, even suggesting that Poe send his entire fleet. It would have left them defenseless on the base, but it had crossed Poe’s mind. Send everything they had, end it once and for all. But level heads had prevailed, and rightfully so.

He had half a mind to send up an extra patrol around Yavin, going as far as leaning over to Jax and asking him to ready the rest of the fleet before another transmission came through.

“Lieutenant Drucker to Rebel Base, come in.”

Poe hit the talk button in front of him. “Go ahead for Rebel Base.”

“Sir, it looks like this place is slated for demolition. We found explosives along the foundation though it appears that the detonator is not active.”

Poe scrubbed his face with his hands, mulling over their next move. It wasn’t ideal - the empty facility, the explosives - but was it dangerous? He sighed, knowing the answer. “Pull out. We can’t take any chances.”

“Roger that, sir.” It was silent for a solid minute before Drucker’s voice came through again. “Uh, we’re having trouble reaching Major Tico inside the facility. It appears that he’s turned off his comms.”

Seething, Poe bit back a curse. What was Finn thinking? “Keep trying. Send someone in after him. I want everyone off that rock in ten, understood?”

“Loud and clear, General.”

“Fuck!” growled Poe, loud enough to turn a couple heads. “Connix, we need to get Finn-”

A throat clearing behind him dragged Poe back to the present.

“Uh, General Dameron?” The former trooper sounded as nervous as he looked, eying the closed off expressions and suspicious glances thanks to his presence in Command. “I have those manifests from the transports for your approval.”

It was something Poe still couldn’t understand, the lingering mistrust of the defecting troopers. Hells, they made up the bulk of the Rebellion’s infantry. Once Finn had earned his place in Command, and the trust of the commanders, Poe had thought things would change. Apparently, Finn was the exception, not the rule. As such, it was rare to have one of the defectors in Command, especially in the middle of an operation.

“Thanks,” said Poe, accepting the datapad.

The stormtrooper froze, a look of horror splashing across his face. “Why are you guys talking to Hux?”

“What are you talking about?”

The trooper pointed to the closest communication board, the message from Rebekkah still on the screen.

Since she’d turned a few months ago, Rebekkah had been their most valuable source within the First Order, providing intel that brought them victory after victory. Rumor had it these victories had driven the wedge even further between Hux and Ren, the two practically splitting the First Order in half in an attempt to turn on each other.

“I used to be stationed on the bridge on the Finalizer. That’s Hux’s mother’s name. The one he uses when he’s playing spymaster. We used to sit around after shift and laugh-”

But Poe wasn’t listening anymore. Running to the nearest comm station, he slammed down the talk button, screaming into the receiver, “ABORT! ABORT! Snap, get all everyone off the ground and back to base. It’s a trap!”

It was uncanny, or maybe it was ironic, or maybe it was just another fine example of his own shitty luck, but he swore he was standing in the exact same spot he’d watched Leia go down not even seven months ago when all the monitors flashed red, a low alarm coming from the stations.

“Snap, what’s going on down there?” He didn’t even try to keep the panic out of his voice. Across the room, Rey’s eyes found his, the look of terror on her face all the confirmation he needed.

“The whole damn thing just blew! What the kriff is going on, Poe?”

He dropped into a chair, allowing himself three seconds. Three seconds to adjust to a world without Finn, his best friend, a man he had loved in more than one way over the years. Then he gave himself another three seconds to think of Rose and Paige somewhere on base, blissfully unaware of the event that would forever change their lives.

With a slight shake, he collected himself. Now was not the time to cry. They weren’t out of the woods yet. He still had work to do.

“Our intel must be bad. Find as many survivors as you can and get everyone back to base ASAP.” Rising to his feet, he turned toward his Wing Commander. “Jax, I need every ship you’ve got in the air. I have bad a feeling about this.”

Everyone stopped dead as the klaxons went off, red lights blinking on every available surface.

Proximity alarms. The First Order was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr at [BatuuPrincess](https://batuuprincess.tumblr.com)


	21. Day Eight Hundred - Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn finds important data on Arkanis. With the First Order rapidly approaching Rebel base, the evacuation and battle begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise you, this story has a happy ending.

The shuttle rumbled under his feet as it set down in the mud of Arkanis. In fact, mud appeared to be the main feature of the planet as he looked out the viewport, the rain so heavy he could barely make out the complex in the distance. Not ideal conditions for this mission, but they’d make due.

Finn was on high alert as the ramp extended, giving way to the grey skies and driving rain. There was already something off about this whole thing - the can’t-miss opportunity, the eerie silence, the empty buildings. No, he didn’t like this at all.

It didn’t help that he was walking in to the place he lost his name and his (first) life. Or at least that was the assumption.

While he remembered most of his intensive training - the simulations with Phasma, the drills with Nines, Zeroes, and Slip, a few encounters with Hux - his early years were a complete blank, almost like he sprang into being two years before he defected. He had no clue when they took him from his homeworld or where they kept him or how they wiped his memory, but all signs pointed to the facility rising out of the mud in front of him holding the answers.

When he stepped off the entry ramp, there were certain things he expected. Abandoned buildings. Neverending rain. An impending sense of dread. What he didn’t expect was to _remember._

It was instantaneous, the scenes from a past he had no memory of flashing one right after another. His mother, eyes unseeing as she stared up at the sky. The chair, a smaller version of what he found Poe on, the sight of it enough to make a five-year-old version of Finn wet himself. The lawns, mud up to his knees, forced to fight kids twice his age. The dorms, beds stacked three high with only a scratchy blanket to keep him company. No talking. Lights out. No talking. Never any talking.

“Finn?” TK-1138 ( _no, not TK-1138, he went by Tuck now_ ) put a hand on his shoulder, breaking him out of the memories. “You ok, man?”

He looked back toward his fellow soldiers, most looking at him with varying levels of concern. Was no one else seeing this?

“Yeah, I’m fine. This is definitely the place.”

A few of the former stormtroopers nodded, distant looks on their faces. So maybe it wasn’t only him.

“Ok, the General wants this place searched top to bottom. Split into your divisions. Tuck, take your group around back. Jez, your crew goes left and I’ll take my guys right. Clear room-by-room with audible checks.”

They dispersed with a nod, Finn taking his crew right. It was a slow go, each room presenting a fresh horror upon discovery. Much was as he remembered it - tiny torture chairs, stacks upon stacks of uniform bunks - but some of it was so much worse.

Rounding a corner, they walked into what must have been an infirmary or some kind of medical facility, needles and scalpels in neat lines next to each bed. Restraints hung loose from the mattresses, making it clear that this was not a place for healing.

One room his group stumbled upon contained floor to ceiling computers, a quick investigation showing no data wipes. He catalogued that for later.

But each room was mercifully empty, the chorus of “clear” coming across the comms keeping him grounded and on task.

Finally, the three groups converged in the center of the building, every room checked and cleared.

Finn called it in. “There’s nothing here, Poe. No life forms, organic or inorganic. Not so much as med-droid left behind. We found some computer systems left in intact though.”

There was a long pause, followed by a sigh before Poe answered. “Grab as much as you can from the systems, then get the hells out of there. I don’t like this. Something feels off.”

As a general rule, Finn agreed with Poe, and this was no exception. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was definitely off. No way the First Order would abandon a facility like this without covering their tracks, especially when it had been so integral to their operations.

“Roger, General. We’ll set up a perimeter just in case.” He clicked off, turning back to the men under his command. “Tuck, take a group and set up a perimeter. Keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Drucker, I’m gonna need your crew to search the grounds and outbuildings. I have a feeling we’re missing something big here. The rest of you, get back to the transports. I’m gonna pull the data off the servers and then we’re getting off this rock.”

Finn waited until they were out of sight before he sagged against the smooth, institutional brick. This was harder than he thought it would be back when Poe approached him for the mission. He should have thought this through. He should have said no.

But he was here now, and there was still work to do.

With a grunt, he pushed himself off the wall, using a few of the techniques Rey had taught him to slow down the beating of his heart.

As much as he hated to admit it, the meditation helped, allowing him to slow down, find his own thoughts where they were buried deep in his head. Slowly but surely, he was pushing past the programming. Becoming the man he was meant to be. To look at him, no one would know that he still struggled with it, that the underlying conditioning still haunted him, but then again he had always hidden it well. It was one of the few useful things he’d learned in the First Order.

Sufficiently calm, he started toward the databanks they had stumbled across earlier. It wasn’t his area of expertise, but he knew enough about the systems to get whatever files they contained onto a data stick. Inserting the stick into the slot, he brought up the display.

File upon file popped on the screen as it downloaded onto the datastick, 5%, then 9%, Finn’s heart speeding up with each additional load.

Names. Homeplanet. First Order Designation. This was everything, every record for every trooper ever created by the First Order, not to mention troop movements, supply lines, secret outposts.

(14%)

He’d been ignoring the radio chatter as he watched the files flash across the screen, a too fast for him to pick up anything meaningful, but something Drucker was saying caught his attention.

(24%, now 25%)

“... on a timer? You find a detonator?”

(29%)

“Negative, sir. Just the explosives.”

“Ok, I’m gonna call it in. Drucker to Tico.”

(30%)

No, no, no, he couldn’t come this close to knowing just to lose it all. His past was here, he knew it. But he also knew Poe, and the decision he’d make. Get out, leave the data, live to fight another day.

(33%)

Drucker tried again. “Drucker to Tico. Confirmed explosives in the foundation.” (37%) A pause. “Tico, do you copy? Fuck it, I’m calling this in to base.”

(41%)

Ignoring the guilt roiling in his gut, he flicked off the communicator, focusing his attention on the load screen. This was too important to leave behind. He knew he was worrying his men, and he was damn near sure that Poe would try to contact him any second now, but for once he needed to do something completely for himself.

(57%)

Fingers tapping nervously against the console, he watched the numbers inch up. This was taking too long, Poe would send someone to pull him out if he didn’t finish soon.

(70%)

Just as the indicator ticked up to 75%, he heard a beep from under one of the panels. He tried to ignore it, but a minute later another beep issued from the same panel. With a sigh, he dropped to his knees to investigate.

The access panel refused to open, a little bent from whoever replaced it last. Digging his fingertips into the seam, he finally pried it open with a creak of metal on metal that set his teeth on edge.

He looked inside, the contents of the panel leaving his heart beating in his throat.

A jumble of wires in every color of the rainbow nearly hid the small thermal detonator attached the base of the data center. The display told him he had 3 minutes and 30 seconds to live if he didn’t get out of there now.

It must have started the countdown when he accessed the data files. Or hells, maybe it had been ticking all along under his feet, the timer set to lure them into a false sense of security before it blew.

He turned his eyes back to the main screen, the indicator at 97%. And not moving. He waited a full thirty seconds, as helpfully pointed out by the timer on the detonator, just to be certain. Going to the keyboard, he pressed a few buttons to no avail.

“Come on!” he shouted at no one in particular as the timer hit 2 minutes and 25 seconds.

He tried every trick he knew from his limited computer training - he was a soldier, not an engineer, after all - nothing seeming to move the percentage indicator up. With an exasperated shout, he whacked the side of the monitor; the indicator ticking up to 98%, 99%, 100%.

An insistent beep issued from the detonator as Finn yanked the datastick out of the port and took off running. Less than a minute now to find his way out of this maze as the detonator beeped down each remaining second. Down one hallway, then the next, he ran at full speed, his lungs protesting the movement in full tactical gear.

He’d lost track of how many seconds were left, sprinting toward the open door in front of him when the entire world became heat and light and pain.

***

Rose soldered the final wire in place, leaning back to survey her handiwork. Just because she was on light duty, didn’t mean she was gonna lie around all day. There were mods to work on and manifests to approve, not to mention all these component boards for the transports. She loved her daughter more than anything in the galaxy, but she’d go fucking crazy if they stuck her in a room all day with nothing to do.

Speaking of Paige, she slept quietly in the corner, her soft breathing the best sound in the galaxy. Rose leaned back in her chair, checking the chrono on her desk. Another half an hour and Paige would be up, ready for her next meal. That was plenty of time to put one last component together.

She tried not to think of the real reason she was so intent on keeping herself busy. It was a routine mission, Finn was a highly trained soldier, there was nothing to worry about. Maybe if she repeated it enough, she’d believe it.

It didn’t help that she was on the sidelines yet again. Not that she’d ever be invited on a mission of this caliber - she was decidedly _not_ a soldier - but she’d at least be in the Command Center.

It crossed her mind to just show up in Command, but Kalonia already told her off once this week for strapping Paige (safely) to her chest and trying to fix an X-wing. She didn’t want to push her luck.

Paige let out a squawk from her crib, letting the world know she was there. She was a few minutes early, but Rose picked her up anyway, grateful for the distraction.

Only a month in and Paige was already getting so big, the pictures from the day she was born the only proof she was ever that small. Rose looked down at her face as she nursed, the baby’s eyes going unfocused and milk drunk. Lifting her to her shoulder to burp, Rose patted her back, earning a hearty belch before bringing her back down.

Paige was out cold, her soft snores bringing a smile to Rose’s face. It wouldn’t be like this for much longer, just another month or two before Rose was back on active duty and she’d leave her daughter in Kes Dameron’s care.

Poe had given them the option to take Paige and run, no questions asked. The war was coming to a head, they could all feel it, and the First Order was sure to come out swinging. He’d also given her the option to take the easier posting on Dantooine, helping Rey and her command team protect the civilians and refugees they’d taken in. But they all knew it was Hoth where she was needed most, her expertise vital when trying to modify their equipment to the harsh planetary conditions. So Hoth it was.

The plan was to go with Kes during evac and spend a couple of months with him and Hope and Paige at his friend’s place on Naboo before switching the baby to synth-milk and heading back to the Rebellion. She was already dreading it, the pit in her stomach growing larger by the hour. Sure, it had been her choice, but that didn’t make it any easier.

But for now, she still had time.

Paige continued to snooze, mouth open, while Rose hummed something she’d heard Rey singing the other day. She couldn’t remember the words, but the melody had stuck with her, and Paige seemed to like it. At least, she did when she was awake.

Rose jumped to her feet as the klaxons went off, Paige waking with a wail.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Rose patted her back as she rocked her. “Shh.”

She looked around the room as if the four walls could tell her what was going on.

The door slid open, Rose whipping around to find Rey already in the room. Behind her, Rose could see people sprinting down the hallway, shouting instructions.

“Rey? What’s happening?” Between the alarms and Paige’s screams, she practically had to shout to make herself heard.

“The First Order is here.” Rey wasn’t making eye contact, but Rose could see her eyes were red and puffy, like she’d been crying. “We have to evacuate _now_.”

Dread settled into the pit of her stomach. Rey grabbed the bag by the door, the same go-bag they all kept in their rooms, turning to head back out the door.

“Rey, wait. What’s wrong?” It wasn’t just the First Order, it took more than that to make her best friend cry.

“I’ll tell you once we get to the transport.” She still refused to look her in the eye.

Rose’s entire body went cold, every instinct screaming that something had gone terribly wrong. Stubbornly, she held her ground in the center of the room. “No, you’re going to tell me what’s going on right now.”

Rey let out a shaky breath, more a sob than a sigh. “There was an accident on the ground. We lost contact with Finn.” Her voice wavered.

“What kind of accident?”

Rey looked down, trying and failing to hide the tears streaming down her face.

Rose’s heart threatened to beat straight out of her chest. “Rey? What. Kind. Of. Accident.”

The Jedi took in a shaky breath. “There was an explosion. From what we know, Finn was still in the building.”

Numb. That’s how she felt as the words sank in, as she realized her worst fear. Absent of feeling, like her body wasn’t properly attached to her mind.

Absently, she looked down at the infant in her arms, at the little girl who was looking more and more like Finn every day. A sob escaped her throat and then she was going down, Rey scrambling across the room to hold up both her and the baby. The three of them settled on to the floor, Rey shifting the baby to her own arms so Rose could continue to weep onto her shoulder.

“Why didn’t you get him out of there?” Rose didn’t try to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice. These were her friends, they were supposed to keep him safe.

“We tried. He was pulling data files from the mainframe and he turned off his comms.”

Comprehension dawned on her. There was only one pull more powerful for Finn than his wife and daughter.

“It was stormtrooper files wasn’t it?”

“We can’t be sure, but that’s my guess. Rose, I’m so sorry, but we have to get you and Paige on one of the transports. The First Order will be here any minute.”

“But I’m not going on the transports. Kes-”

“It’s too late for that. New plan. Kes will explain everything along the way, but we have to hurry.”

For a long moment, Rose didn’t move. Honestly, she didn’t know if she even could move, the ache in her chest making her work for every breath she took. Finn was gone. She was all alone. Again.

 _No, that’s not right_ , she thought as she looked over at Rey trying to calm down her squalling infant. _Paige. I need to save Paige._

She shoved down the pain and the regret - what had she said to him before he left this morning? A simple goodbye? Did she even tell him she loved him? Or had she made a joke, assuming he’d be back in time for Paige’s late night feeding? No, she’d think of that later, once they were on the transports and out of harm’s way.

With some difficulty, Rose got to her feet.

“Here, I can take her,” she said, reaching out for the baby. Rey eyed her warily, hesitant to hand Paige over. “Rey, I can hold my own baby.”

Rey settled Paige into her arms, picking up the bag once more. Rose looked around at the four walls that had been slowly driving her insane over the past month, suddenly unwilling to leave. This had been their room since they got on base, hells she was pretty sure Paige was conceived in here (or maybe the Falcon, though she’d take that to the grave). That bag contained the essentials, everything they would need to start over some place safe, but what about the rest? The pictures and the holonovels and the dried flowers that Finn had picked for her when they’d first got on Yavin 4?

Rey looked at her, tension lining all her features. They needed to go. Now.

With a final look back, Rose followed her into the hall, the door sliding shut on what was left of her former life.

***

Rey released the breath she’d been holding. There was a moment back there when it looked like Rose wouldn’t follow her, like she’d rather stay in the room and take her chances, but she’d finally coaxed her and the baby into the main hall. Ignoring the pull she felt as soon as the First Order arrived, she led mother and daughter through the halls.

Finn was dead and nothing was going according to plan and the entire Rebellion was crumbling around them.

Poe had been right, they needed to move months ago. They’d all had a hand in delaying the decision. Rey had fought him tooth and nail. Connix requested more time for logistics. Finn needed a reprieve to finish training his ground troops. Kes needed more time to get in touch with his old friends on Naboo. Rose begged for an extra month on base after giving birth.

No one had wanted to leave and look at what happened.

How could they have been so stupid? Leia’s final words were brought into sharp focus. Rebekkah was Hux. He’d been playing them the whole time.

And they bought it, hook, line, and sinker.

Rey continued to lead them through the packed halls, dodging the groups of pilots and other personnel leading the evac. Paige had settled into a low whine despite the noise and quick pace, her eyes starting to fall closed in the chaos.

The first hits from a laser cannon rocked the temple just as they arrived in the main hangar. A final group of A-wing pilots pushed past them to get to their ships, the sound of the dogfight overhead filtering in through the open hangar doors. The ground shook as a fighter fell to the ground, fire completely engulfing the craft. Rey couldn’t tell if it was friend or foe, but the secondary explosion spurred her to action.

“Come on, we gotta get you on that transport,” she said, dragging a stunned Rose by the arm. Rose continued to stare out the hangar door, mouth open.

At a run, they crossed the hangar to the where the rest of the civilians and refugees were loading onto the transports lined up against the far wall. Another direct hit brought dirt and small stones raining down on their heads, Rose pulling the blanket up to protect Paige’s face.

Rey coughed in the dusty air, grit and pebbles coating her hair.

The air of the transport was clear as Rey sat a still-dazed Rose down in a seat, buckling her for good measure.

“Rey?” Rose looked up at her from the seat, a look of horror on her face. “Wait, aren’t you coming?”

Rey gave her a sad smile. “I’ve got to make sure my students and Hope get to safety, then I’ll be joining the fight.”

Rose looked down at the baby and back to Rey.

Rey kneeled in front of Rose, wrapping her and the baby in a hug. “I’ve just gotta kick some First Order ass, then I’ll be right behind you.”

If Rose heard the lie, she was kind enough not to call her on it, instead giving Rey a tentative smile. Before she could change her mind or start crying, she turned and walked back into the hangar in search of her students.

She found them being led into the hangar by Cora.

“Over here,” she shouted, getting the older woman’s attention. “Everyone with you?”

Cora nodded. “We were in the middle of lessons. Is everyone going the same place or should I wait for parents?”

“No, get them on a transport. We’ll get everyone back together on Dantooine. Here.” She directed them toward the ship that Rose was on.

“Master Rey?”

Rey bent down to the little girl’s eye level.

“Yes, Mina?”

“I’m scared.”

She wrapped the little girl in her arms. “Me too. But you’ll be safe on the transport.” Lie. “Let’s get you on the ship.” She stood up, grabbing her hand to walk her to the edge of the entry ramp. “Go find Miss Cora.”

Mina hugged her one last time before running into the transport without looking back.

Rey turned to see if she could find Poe or Kes or Hope, nearly running smack into Deso.

“Did you just put the Jedi on a transport?”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You mean the children? Yes, yes I did.”

“What the hells were you training them for?” He stepped closer, his voice raising well above the chaos of the hangar. "They should be fighting!”

“The children... should be fighting?” She wasn’t trying to further incense him, her confusion just happened to accomplish exactly that.

“They should be using that voodoo magic to defend the base!”

“Major Deso, is there any particular reason you’re yelling at the General instead of assisting with the evacuation?”

Poe had appeared in his flight suit behind Deso’s left shoulder, Hope in his arms and Kes trailing a step behind him. Seeing Rey, the little girl reached out her arms, obviously terrified by all the commotion. Poe knew she could hold her own against Deso, as did she, but it was still nice that she didn’t always have to. Letting Poe handle Deso, Rey took Hope in her arms.

“Mama loud!” she cried, burying her face into Rey’s shoulder. Her entire body was shaking as Rey patted her back.

“Shh, it’s ok, baby. You and Abuelo are going to take a ride with Rose and Paige. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

Yeah, Hope wasn’t buying it either. Having finished with Deso, Poe and Kes joined her at the edge of the ramp.

“You have the plan?” Rey asked Kes, gently rocking Hope on her shoulder.

Kes nodded stiffly. She knew it was killing him to leave the action, but everyone had agreed this was the best course long before the First Order showed up.

“Ok, Hope. It’s time to go with Abuelo.” She placed a kiss on her soft curls, closing her eyes so she could remember the feeling. “I love you.”

Poe leaned over, kissing Hope on the forehead. “We’ll see you soon, love.”

There were tears in his eyes when Poe turned to embrace Kes. “Keep her safe, Dad.”

“Stay safe, Kes.” She melted into his hug, Hope getting squished between the two of them.

Then it was time to let her go. Hope screamed when Rey handed her over, clawing at her shoulders in an attempt to gain purchase. Rey choked back a sob, Poe wrapping an arm around her shoulders as Kes started up the ramp.

He turned just before he disappeared into the ship, his smile sad. “Now, this is only temporary. You better come back for her. No excuses.”

All they could do was nod when he turned back around and the ramp closed behind him.

Rey turned to Poe as soon as they were out of sight, finding comfort in his warm embrace.

***

Poe tried not to let the tears slip down his cheeks as Rey buried herself in his arms, but it was useless. Thankfully, her hair absorbed them as quickly as they fell.

For a long moment, he let his heart break, the knowledge he would probably never see his daughter again weighing heavily on chest. There were two Star Destroyers out there, the last two the First Order had left. Between the Organa and the squadrons they had left on base, they could probably take one, but two? Two was definitely a tall order, even for the former best pilot in the Resistance. The goal now was not to win, but to get the transports safely off base.

It was a suicide mission. One he would join as soon as he could make himself let go of Rey.

Another explosion rocked the old temple, becoming the impetus he needed to get moving.

He held her at arm’s length. “Rey, I need to you get on a transport.”

Her face showed confusion before settling in to the stubborn anger he recognized from every fight they’d ever had. “No kriffing way. I’m the last Jedi, I should be out there fighting!”

He knew from the beginning this was going to be a fight. He could hear her unspoken words clear as day: why had they insisted she train if they weren’t going to use her in a fight?

“We need you to get the transports to Dantooine.”

“Wait, why aren’t you escorting the ships?” Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Poe, why are you in a flight suit? What are you going to do?”

“I was never going to Dantooine, Sunshine.” Shaking his head, he smiled ruefully. “I’m gonna keep them occupied out there so you guys can get away. Get everyone to the new base. You’re the leader of the Rebellion, now.”

He watched the emotions cycle through her face, from shock to horror to despair then right back to anger.

“Over my dead body, Dameron.”

“That’s what I’m trying to prevent.”

She didn’t seem to appreciate the joke. He kissed the wrinkles on her brow before bringing his lips down on her own, the kiss tasting of salt and dust.

“Please, Sunshine. Let me get you two out of here.”

“I thought they re-purposed your ship? What were you planning to fly?”

He looked over to where two mechanics were pulling a tarp off Black One, Rey’s eyes following his.

“Never got around to it,” he said with a shrug. “Pretty lucky.”

Luck had nothing to do with it and they both knew it. He wasn’t fooling her. Of course, she knew he’d never be able to give up his ship.

“Does it at least run?”

“Still the fastest ship in the galaxy.”

“I highly doubt that. But at least her pilot is still the best.” She half smiled. “Go. It sounds like they need you out there. I love you.”

It surprised him when she agreed so quickly, but he didn’t have time to look a gift bantha in the mouth.

“I love you,” he said with another kiss. “Tell Hope I love her every day, ok?”

She let him go with a nod, her eyes following him as he hopped into the cockpit to begin the startup procedures. Looking back, he found her on her knees, straightening BB-8’s antenna before giving it a pet and sending the droid in Poe’s direction. His heart gave one final squeeze as she got to her feet, looking a little lost as she stood all alone in the hangar.

Tearing his eyes away, he focused on the task at hand, settling into the old routine of his cockpit. Here, he always knew what to do, how to act, like the X-wing was an extension of himself. He propped up the little holo of Rey and Hope playing in the rain from earlier that year, both mid-laugh as they splashed in the puddles.

BB-8 trilled the all clear. Hitting the ignition, the bird roared to life, Poe taking her off the ground. He didn’t look back as he hit the thrust, taking her up and out.

Instantly, he found himself in the thick of the battle, a heavy calm coming over him as he dodged and weaved between the laser bolts. It had always come so naturally for him, and this was no exception. With two perfectly timed shots, he took out two TIEs on the tail of one of his A-wings.

A high swoop and a dive found him targeting one of the First Order troop transports, Jax coming up beside him to help take it down.

Flicking on the comms, he hailed the civilian transports. “General Dameron to Precious Cargo One through Six, are you about ready for take-off? We’ve got a window for you here.”

“Roger, General. Preparing for takeoff.”

Poe breathed a sigh of relief in the cockpit. Hope and Rey were safe. Now, he could focus on the important things, like taking down as much of the First Order as possible before they shot him out of the sky.

He took out another three TIEs easily, capturing the attention of the main squadron. Leading them across the jungle, he listened as one-by-one the transports took flight, the First Order fighters none the wiser. More and more of the Rebellion’s squadrons caught on, multiple A- and X-wings leading their quarries in the direction opposite the transports.

And it worked - for a time - the TIEs giving chase as the civilians snuck away. Of course, it was too good to last.

The first transport went up with an explosion that Poe could feel in the cockpit, half a jungle away.

“No, no, no, no,” he muttered to himself, executing a jarring maneuver that ended with two more TIEs down and Poe’s X-wing sprinting toward the leaving ships.

“All squadrons, defend the transports!” he shouted into the comms.

He had no way of knowing which transport Rey and Hope were on. If they were even alive. It lit a fire in him, every one of his senses trained on inflicting the most damage to the First Order fighters.

Taking out another TIE, he tried to draw them off the civilian-filled ships, but it was no use. It was like every time they took one out, three more TIEs took its place. There had to be an end or they weren’t gonna make it.

One of the ships made it to space, where the secondary battle between the Organa and two Star Destroyers was taking place. He sent up a prayer that there weren’t more TIEs waiting for them, that the squads he’d sent up there were enough to protect them as the third transport started taking fire.

If only their fleet wasn’t split, if he hadn’t sent Snap and the others to the trap on Arkanis… No, he couldn’t think about that now. He needed to focus, he needed to stay calm, he needed to be the old Poe Dameron, Best Pilot in the Resistance.

But he was finding that the old Poe Dameron was gone. Where there once was a calm and collected pilot prepared to do whatever was necessary to win, there now sat a father, a husband, a leader with too much to lose. For the first time in his life, he felt paralyzed as he watched the TIEs attack each transport in turn.

But thankfully, Jax was calling the shots up here, the Wing Commander a surprisingly level head in the heat of battle.

“Rapier, Stiletto, get those civilians into space. If anything comes near you, take it down. The rest of you clear these TIEs so we can get to work on the Destroyers upstairs.”

Poe decided that he was one of the rest, throwing himself back into the fight.

He never saw it coming.

It hit him from behind, a direct shot to the left S-foil. He knew it was catastrophic even before BeeBee started beeping out the warnings. The cockpit filled with smoke, every warning light and indicator flashing a brilliant red as they fell out of the sky. They’d been too high and now the jungle was too close. The last thing he saw was Hope and Rey, his fingers touching the holo wedged into the instrument panel before he closed his eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr at [BatuuPrincess](https://batuuprincess.tumblr.com)


	22. Day Eight Hundred - Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey faces off with Kylo Ren. The fate of the Rebellion and its members is decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last official chapter of this fic. Next up, the epilogue.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Rey watched him lift off, heart heavy in her chest. It was the first time she’d ever lied to him.

The pull she’d been ignoring became more insistent with each passing moment, a sharp tug behind her navel urging her to go outside. One of the transport pilots approached just as Black One flew out of view, joining the melee above the planet.

“General, we need you on board.”

“Change of plans, Captain. Take off immediately. I’ll be staying behind to monitor the evacuation and I’ll join you later on Dantooine.” The third lie of the day came out much smoother than the first two.

With a sharp nod, he turned and ran back to the transports, primed and ready for takeoff. She took out her communicator, giving a swift prayer to the Force as she typed in Rose’s personal number.

Mercifully, she answered. “Rey? Is everything ok?”

“Everything’s fine, Rose.” She watched as the transports lifted off the ground, the hidden door in the back of the hangar opening to let them out. “When you guys get to Dantooine, you and Kes are in charge. Give Hope a kiss from me and tell her I love her.”

“Rey!” She could hear Kes shouting in the background as she watched the ships leave the hangar, hopefully skirting the back of the temples safely out of the line of fire.

Poe may have thought he was their only hope, but Rey knew the truth. Clicking off the comm, she finally allowed herself to follow the pull out of the hangar.

She walked onto a battlefield. A few troop transports had made it to the ground, their own infantry holding back the deluge of stormtroopers. Blaster fire rang out in every direction. Rey watched a ship fall from the sky, this time easily identifiable as a blue and white A-wing before it crashed in a fiery blast that took out half a squad of stormtroopers.

Around the side of the Great Temple, she skirted the clearing where Chewie was prepping the Falcon, following a familiar path away from the fighting. The jungle seemed to swallow the noise; the battle sounding much farther away than it actually was among the massassis. For once, she was glad she kept her saber clipped to her belt.

Less than five minutes’ walk brought her to the clearing, a black Upsilon-class in the distance confirming her suspicions. It looked so wrong parked in Kes’s yard she almost had to laugh.

A black-hooded figure stood facing the Force tree, his back to her. Laying a black-gloved hand on the rough back, Rey could feel the pull again. He’d been summoning her.

Soundlessly, she walked closer, ignoring the impulse to grab her saber. There was no way he didn’t sense her. It would never be this easy to end him.

“Rey.”

Sure enough, he turned to face her, the scar she gave him sticking out against his pale skin. He looked older than the last time she saw him, when they fought side-by-side for what she thought was a common cause. He brushed a greasy lock of hair out of his eyes, the shadows there making it look like he hadn’t slept in a week.

“Kylo Ren.” She kept her voice even, strong despite the fear rising from her gut. She tamped it down, knowing he’d be able to feel it, too.

His face softened. “You used to call me Ben.”

“You used to give me hope. But we’re long past that, Kylo.”

His expression darkened as he narrowed his eyes at her. She watched as one of the civilian ships broke the tree line behind Kylo’s head, the man in question unaware.

At some point, they’d started circling each other, Rey’s back now to the Force tree. Despite the snarl on his face, neither had reached for a weapon.

“You can still join me. It’s not too late. I’d forgive you for your…” He paused, trying to find the correct word for the last year and a half of her life. “Transgressions.”

An explosion ripped through the sky, the first transport going down in a ball of fire. She choked down her reaction, focusing her attention back on Ren, on the need to keep him distracted.

She cocked her head. “And what would General Hux have to say about that?”

The words had the desired effect, Ren’s attention snapping back to her. “Hux has no say in the matter,” he spat at her, malice lining his face. “You should thank me. I executed him hours ago for his treachery.”

Ok, she definitely wasn’t expecting that.

She happened to be looking up as he said it, catching a glimpse of Black One cutting through the sky with Poe’s usual finesse, TIE fighter after TIE fighter dropping in his wake. It was a lucky shot, a TIE in his blind spot hitting the S-foil just right.

There was no time to school her face, so Kylo Ren got the full effect of her surprise and horror as Poe fell from the sky in slow motion, the secondary explosion reaching the tops of the trees.

Ren laughed as the world threatened to crumble around her, thinking her shock was over Hux. It was strange. She would have thought she’d feel his death in the Force, a familiar light extinguished. But she felt nothing, an emptiness that quickly filled with rage.

It dawned on her as she watched him laugh at her.

“You don’t even believe in it, do you?” A mirthless laugh escaped her lips. “You don’t give a shit about creating order from chaos or any of that nonsense Hux spouts. Well, spouted. You’re doing this for yourself. Because you think the galaxy owes you. Because you think I owe you.”

Twin spots of color appeared on his pale cheeks, darkening the longer she spoke. A snarl formed on his face. “Get out of my head!” he shouted, lifting his hand as if that could vanquish her.

She laughed again, knowing it only antagonized him. Her eyes flicked to the sky. With Hux gone and Ren here, there was nobody commanding their troops. If she could just keep his attention on her, then maybe the rest of the Resistance had a chance.

It worked. Kylo’s attention stayed on her as another transport disappeared into the Yavin sky.

“I would have given you everything.” He was almost crouching, the feral look in his eyes giving her pause as he spoke through bared teeth. “I would have trained you. You know nothing.”

She resisted rolling her eyes. “I am nothing, I come from nothing, I know nothing. You should find a new word.”

Provoking the man in front of her was a dangerous game to play, and she knew it. But there was nothing left for her to lose. The transports were going down. Black One had fallen out of the sky. Chewie was gods knew where with the Falcon. Finn was somewhere among the ashes on Arkanis. At this rate, if she didn’t do something, anything stop the carnage, there would be nobody left to mourn her.

The air around them changed, Ren’s face twisting into something beyond rage. “What. Is. That.”

He was staring at her left hand, where the shiny silver ring on her fourth finger had caught what little light remained as the clouds rolled in. Looking down, she ran her thumb nail over the thin piece of metal, her last connection to the man she loved.

Another transport took off behind his head as the rain started to fall, softly for now, but Rey had lived on Yavin 4 long enough to know that things were just getting started. Within seconds, they were soaked.

The smile that crept across her face felt vicious. “So you don’t know everything. Did you think we were just friends?”

She felt his anger surge a second before he lashed out, his hand lifting in a motion that should have sent her sprawling across the clearing. But this time she was ready for him, drawing strength from the tree at her back and the ring on her finger to keep her feet firmly on the ground.

That only seemed to enrage him more, Ren reaching for the shoddy saber at his belt. The red blade hissed and spit in the rain when he activated it, jagged crossguards struggling to stay alight in the downpour.

And then, nothing. He stood, chest heaving, but made no move toward her. She sensed an opening and sure enough, the conflict in his hesitation hit her as plainly as if he’d spoken it out loud. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make the first move against her. She watched in silence as the rain dripped from his long hair, down his face, and off the tip of that distinctive nose.

It was a tiny glimmer of hope, barely there, but miraculous nonetheless for its presence. Entire rebellions had been built on less. Maybe, just maybe, she could save Leia’s son. Maybe he could answer for his crimes.

“It doesn’t have to be like this.” She took a step forward, her hands at her sides. “Snoke is gone. Hux is gone. There’s no greater destiny where we have to fight. The First Order is crumbling around you.” She gestured behind him. The First Order ships were taking a beating, the Organa and every X-wing, A-wing, and cruiser they had left on base systematically wiping out their ships. “You don’t have to fight this anymore.”

She realized her mistake a second too late.

Since she’d arrived in the clearing, his attention had been on her, Ren paying no mind to the battle raging overhead. But at her words, he’d looked up and realized that his team was not winning. Hells, they were barely even in the game.

The look his face had softened into over the past few minutes fell off in an instant, replaced by the sneer that had haunted her dreams for years now.

She only had a second’s warning before she drew her blade, bringing it up to block the vicious swing from Kylo Ren. The blades connected with a crack inches away from her face, her arms quaking under the power of the hit. Sweat beaded on her forehead, mixing with the still falling rain as she thrusted upwards with a grunt. His saber came away for a second before he lashed out again and again, Rey helpless to do anything but block each hit in defense.

She was out of practice. Poe had warned her about it, warned them all they were getting cocky and complacent in their victories, her own workouts taking the back burner to the meetings and the padawans and her family. Not that she had anyone to spar with. Practicing with the sticks may have kept her strength up, but it was no match for the heat of the blade against her skin or the crash when two sabers came together.

Time stretched and pulled taught, losing all meaning as they clashed over and over. It could have been two minutes or two hours. Round and round they went, each getting a shot or two in, Ren grazing the skin on her forearm as she screamed, Rey skimming his thigh with a growl, but she never gained enough ground to go on the offensive. Five minutes in and she was soaked with sweat and rain, the wound on her arm throbbing, every muscle screaming in protest as he pushed her further and further back.

She made her second mistake when the Star Destroyer went down.

The explosion shook the ground beneath their feet, both off balance for a second as they looked up to the sky. It was beautiful, really, the reds and blues and sparks flying in every direction as one of the two remaining First Order ships turned to dust. Sensing her distraction, Ren chose that moment to strike.

Arms weak from exertion, she couldn’t hold the hit, Ren pushing until his saber glanced off her collarbone in an explosion of white-hot pain. It stayed there for an interminable second, the smell of burnt skin and fabric threatening to overpower her. One final burst of strength pushed him back a step, Rey backpedaling until her spine pressed against the rough bark of the Force tree.

Struggling to remain upright, she leaned heavily against the tree, trying to gain what little strength she could from the Force. Everything hurt. Her lungs burned with each breath. Her arms ached from exhaustion. The wound on her shoulder and collarbone throbbed in time with the beat of her heart.

He surveyed her from three feet away, lowering his weapon and deactivating the saber. She must look even worse than she thought.

“Yield. Yield, and all will be forgiven.

She looked skyward. The surviving transports were free. One Star Destroyer had been obliterated, while the other was listing dangerously in the sky. The TIEs were all gone. She had no clue how they had done it, but her job was done here. She’d bought them time and now she could leave this world in peace.

“Never.” It came out weak, almost like a whisper. Swallowing thickly to clear her throat, she tried again, her voice stronger this time. “Never.”

There was a shout of anger and Rey let her eyes fell closed as he activated his saber once more, waiting for the final blow. The rain fell in earnest now, one last Yavinese thunderstorm to see her to the end. Without thinking, she reached out in the Force, finding a familiar presence there. The ring burned on her finger.

Her eyes opened expecting to find Poe in front of her, the golden warmth she always associated with him washing over her. Instead, there was a woman whose curly hair and lopsided smile she’d know anywhere.

“Shara?” she asked, looking around in wonder. Everything around them had frozen, the rain drops mid fall, Ren’s saber half extended, even the X-wings stopped mid roll, their S-foils perpendicular to the ground.

“Rey.” There was no question in her voice. Rey had always thought Poe favored Kes, but as she looked into the eyes of Shara Bey, she realized her error. No, she could see Poe in every inch of the woman in front of her, from the thick, dark curls to the set of her shoulders to the way her feet touched the ground. And those eyes. It felt like Poe was looking at her.

Everything that had hurt just minutes ago - the ache in her chest, the pounding of her head, the searing pain of the lightsaber wound etched across her collarbone - was blissfully pain free, the exhaustion that had sunk into her bones gone.

 _This must be the end_ , she thought. It was a comfort in a way. It meant she would see Poe again.

But the love of her life was conspicuous in his absence. “Where’s Poe? I thought he’d be with you.”

Shara’s smile was sad this time. “Not yet. He still has work to do. Both of you do.” She placed a hand on Rey’s cheek. “You need to keep going, Rey.”

Tears sprang to Rey’s eyes as she leaned into the touch. She couldn’t feel it, not in the normal way, but she felt Shara’s intention. It was like she’d always imagined on Jakku, the unconditional warmth of a mother’s love, and for the first time in her life it was focused wholly on her.

“I can’t,” she sobbed out, feeling the pain and exhaustion creeping back in. “I’m not strong enough.”

“Of course you are,” came another familiar voice, Rey looking up in time to see Luke emerge from the tree, the same soft blue glow surrounding him. His expression was softer than any look he’d given her when he was actually alive. He took her in with a sigh. “I wasn’t a great teacher, was I?”

A short laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head.

“Well, I wasn’t going to be the one to say it.” Leia.

She looked luminous, outlined in blue, her hair in a style Rey had only seen in old holos from the first war. Kriff, she looked younger than Rey.

Rey looked between the twins, one grizzled with old age and the other the picture of youth. Luke laughed at whatever look crossed her face.

“You wouldn’t have recognized me at that age, kid. Hells, I probably wouldn’t recognize myself anymore.” He shook his head. “That’s not important. What’s important is that you finish this.”

“With the way Hux and Ren pillaged the First Order leadership over the past year, the command structure won’t hold without them. Hux is gone. The only thing that stands in your way is Kylo Ren,” added Leia.

Rey could tell that the words hurt her, but Leia had never been one to shy away from hard truths.

Neither had Rey. “I can’t. I’ve never been able to beat him.”

“You haven't been able to beat him, _yet_. Find strength in the Force.” Luke's voice was fading.

Oh, how she wanted to give up, to surrender, to let Kylo Ren end this. She was far more tired than she should have been at 22 years old. She’d seen too much, survived too much.

But she had a chance to end this. And failure was no longer an option.

So she dug deep, closing her eyes to find that place on the edge of dark and light, life and death, peace and violence. The delicate balance of all things. The Force.

Feeling a drop of rain on her nose, she opened her eyes, bringing her saber up in just enough time to block the vicious slash from Kylo. Her arms held, a rush of adrenaline and something else she couldn’t quite identify pulsing through her veins. They were both surprised by her sudden strength, Ren’s face betraying him as always.

With a shout not unlike a battle cry, she pushed his saber up and away, refusing to pause before she lashed out over and over again. Forced to go on the defensive, Ren snarled as he dodged her hits, the clash of the two sabers echoing through the clearing. Kylo ceded one step. Then he ceded another.

The red beam of his saber continued to spit and hiss in the rain, as unstable as its master, while she pushed him further and further back. They were halfway to the Dameron farm when she saw him.

Soaked to the bone and covered in an alarming amount of blood, Poe Dameron stood in the field next to his family home. A sob escaped her lips. He was missing the soft blue halo that Shara, Leia, and Luke had all shown up with, but that didn’t matter. He was here for her, at the end.

“REY!” he shouted in warning as Kylo Ren took advantage of her momentary distraction, her block not fast enough to prevent the blade from dragging against the soft skin on the inside of her forearm.

Her scream sent whisperbirds flying from the trees.

Chest heaving, she batted away his saber using her good arm. He stumbled back another couple steps as the hilt went flying, disappearing into the undergrowth.

That bought her a few seconds, her eyes going to the injured arm.

It was still attached, thank gods, but even to her untrained eyes the damage looked extensive. The pain radiated from the tips of her fingers all the way to her shoulder. She breathed a sigh of relief when her fingers moved at her command, bringing a fresh round of torment.

Carefully, she raised the saber in her right hand, pointing it directly at his throat.

“Yield.”

He narrowed his eyes, the hatred there plain to see in the light of her saber.

She felt his intention a second before he reached out his hand, no hesitation as she brought the blade across his throat.

In slow motion, she watched him fall, the hilt of his summoned saber hitting the ground a second before he did.

Without thinking she dropped her own blade, rough hands catching her before she hit the ground, too.

“It’s ok, Rey. I’ve got you.”

“Poe?” She reached up, touching his face with her good hand. Solid.

Distantly, she realized she was crying, though if it was for what she had just done or for the fact that she was in Poe’s arms was anybody’s guess. After years of that monster in her head, the sudden silence was deafening.

“Why does it look like you’ve seen a ghost?” The soot and mud and blood covering every inch of his face nearly obscured his smile, but it was there and he was here and he was real.

“I watched you go down, heard the explosion-”

“You think BB-8 would let me go down like that? Never. He ejected us both before we hit the tree line.”

Of course the little droid would never let him go down with the X-wing. Her eyes fluttered closed, muttering a little prayer in thanks to the Force. Now, she could move on to her next burning question. “How did you know I was out here?”

“They told me in the hangar after I came to. Should have known you’d never listen to me.”

She smiled at that, another sob of relief breaking through as she looked at him.

“And the transports?” It was the final question, the one she was almost too afraid to ask.

“We lost one, but Kes and Hope and Rose made it out. Probably halfway to Dantooine by now. We’re gonna call them back as soon as they exit hyperspace.”

Rey closed her eyes in relief. That meant that her students and Cora were all safe as well. The world shifted beneath her feet as relief flooded through her, Poe catching her for the second time that day.

“Whoa, there. We should probably get that looked at.”

It took a few seconds to focus on his face when she opened her eyes, concern lacing his features as he stared down at the jagged wounds on her arm and collarbone. Almost delirious with the pain, she nodded briefly, trying to look anywhere but at the body of Kylo Ren on the soft grass.

“Let me grab your lightsaber.”

“Leave it.” The thought of touching the weapon sent a wave of revulsion through her, her stomach turning.

She leaned heavily on Poe as they started toward the base, pain and exhaustion threatening to overtake her with every step. Poe wasn’t much better, a limp becoming more and more pronounced the further they got from the clearing. By the time they walked through the hangar doors, it was unclear who was dragging whom, both nearly collapsing on a nearby crate. 

Rey finally found the strength to speak. “Your mom. Did you see your mom? She helped me beat him.”

Poe looked around the bustling hangar in panic. “Medic!” he shouted, around the time her vision started to darken, the edges of the world starting going black.

His panicked voice continued to filter in her ears. “She’s not making any sense, I don‘t know what‘s wrong.”

“Don’t worry, General. We’ve got her from here.”

The last thing she heard before passing out was a shout from Connix: “We have survivors from Arkanis!”

***

Poe shifted in the chair, trying to get comfortable as he waited for Rey to wake up.

The medbay was full to bursting, every bed, cot, and chair taken by the wounded. As Generals, they had been afforded a private room, one perk Poe was happy to turn down. He looked over at their roommates, both sleeping, with a soft smile on his face.

Rustling on the bed brought his attention back to Rey as she shifted on the scratchy sheets.

“Hey,” he said, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “Welcome back.”

She blinked up at him. “Where am I?”

“Medbay.” He traced the pink groove across her collarbone and chest where Ren had cut her open. “Yavin 4.”

Her eyes went wide for a second in the dim room, Poe jumping back in his seat when she sat bolt upright. “We need to evacuate, they know where we are-”

“Hey, hey.” He cupped her face, trying to quell her panic. “Shh. They’re gone. We’re safe.”

“They’re… gone?” She seemed to struggle with the concept. “We don’t have to fight anymore?”

He shook his head, helpless to keep the smile off his face. “We don’t have to fight anymore.”

Rey burst into tears.

He knew how she felt. The years of tension and fear and fighting for every little inch of the galaxy, done, just like that. It was a relief so acute it almost felt like pain.

Gathering her into his arms, he held her as she sobbed into his shoulder, her tears warm as they soaked his shirt.

When she finally pulled back, there was a small smile on her face. “What happened?”

“The First Order surrendered shortly before you and Ren…” He trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence.

The smile slid off her face. “Before I killed him.”

It was stated as a matter of fact, but Poe knew better, knew her better than anyone out there. Her eyes had caught on the metal cylinder resting on the table next to her bed.

Poe had gone back for her lightsaber.

While Rey was in a bacta tank, he’d watched as they hauled Kylo Ren’s body from the clearing. Not that he thought anyone would, but he wanted to make sure no one messed with the body. They’d bury him. They weren’t animals.

As he went to follow the body to its final resting place, his foot hit something solid in the grass. Rey’s lightsaber was right where she’d dropped it, wet and glinting in the dying rays of the Yavin sun.

It was obvious from her earlier reaction that she wanted nothing to do with the weapon anymore, but he couldn’t just leave it.

Bending over, he grabbed the hilt out of the grass, bringing it back to base with him. The wary look in her eyes as she stared at the weapon made him second guess that choice.

“Hey, look at me.” He watched as she dragged her eyes back to his. “There was nothing you could have done. He was going to kill you. Hells, he almost did.” He slid a finger down the jagged line on her forearm.

“I know, it just-” Staring over Poe’s shoulder, her eyes went wide as she realized who their roommates were. “Is that Finn?”

She threw the blankets back and was halfway off the bed before Poe could even blink, positioning herself next to Finn’s bed.

“He’s alive?” Rey sounded so hopeful, he felt guilty for not leading with that piece of news.

The Arkanis troops and Black Squadron had landed shortly after Rey went into the tank. No casualties, but one seriously injured in the blast. Finn had been in rough shape, a broken arm, ruptured eardrums, a sizeable head wound, but he’d come out of the bacta tank looking relatively unscathed save a few shiny patches of burned skin.

“Thank the Force.”

Poe and Rey’s heads shot up in tandem when Rose spoke, neither realizing she was awake.

Gods, she looked exhausted as she leaned over Finn’s bed, one of his hands between both of hers. Rey took his other hand on her side of the bed.

“They said,” Rose started, gazing at her husband’s sleeping face. She took a shaky breath before pushing on. “They said he’d wake up. It’s only a matter of time, now that the swelling’s down.”

Rey reached across the bed to grab one of Rose’s hands. “He will. He always does.”

There was a soft knock on the door.

“Ah, I see one of my patients is feeling better.”

Kalonia stood in the doorway, looking more tired than Poe had ever seen her. Walking in to the room, she looked at Rey as she patted the empty bed.

Reluctantly, Rey pulled her attention away from Finn. She dragged herself back over to the bed, hopping up at Kalonia’s behest. Five minutes later, she was officially discharged from the medbay.

“Plenty of rest. Light duty for the next week.” Kalonia gave them both a long look. “And that goes for you too, Poe. Despite the fact that you declined medical attention.”

He could feel Rey’s eyes on him. They’d be discussing _that_ later, he was sure of it.

“Aye, aye, captain.” He gave the doctor a mock salute, earning one of her rare smiles.

“That’s quite enough, General.” She walked over to Finn’s bed. “Any change?”

Rose looked up at her, eyes shining in the dim light. “No. Shouldn’t he be up by now?”

Kalonia ran the medscanner up and down his body. “These things take time. Everything looks good. He’ll come around when he’s ready.” She patted his hand. “Try to get some rest, Rose.” And with that, she was out the door.

Rey pulled the chair Poe had been sitting on closer to Finn’s bed.

“You guys don’t have to stay.” Rose looked a little better now that Kalonia had been through.

Rey hesitated for a second. “We can. So you aren’t alone.”

Rose waved her off. “I’m gonna try to get some sleep. I’ll comm you when he wakes.”

“You sure?” asked Poe, torn between wanting to keep watch over Finn and wanting to sleep in his own bed.

Rose stood, walking over to the bed Rey had just vacated. “Go get some sleep. Doctor’s orders,” said Rose, shooing them out the door.

Rey let him lead her from the room, her eyes growing wide while they walked through the rest of the medbay. The main ward was a endless sea of unfamiliar faces and white plastoid armor, spilling into the main hallway.

“Are these all stormtroopers?”

“There are a few of ours mixed in, but yeah, the damage was mainly to the other side.” He ran a hand through his hair, still a little damp from his earlier trip to the ‘fresher. He tugged on her sleeve. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her out in the hallway. They picked their way through the overflow, finally turning a corner to an empty hall. The sounds of celebration filtered in from the hangar, loud and drunk and overwhelmingly happy to be alive. Poe was secretly thrilled when Rey declined his invitation to join in, longing more than anything for his own bed.

“I take it Kes has the kids.” she said as they stopped in front of their doorway.

Poe keyed in the access. “Yeah. Took them over to the farm as soon as they landed. You should have seen him with Paige. I’m not sure Rose is ever getting her back.”

That earned him a soft laugh.

“I’m gonna wash this bacta off, then I’ll be in,” she said as they paused at the bedroom door. She pressed her lips to his briefly before turning toward the ‘fresher.

He watched her go, marveling at the difference a day could make.

They’d won.

It hadn’t even really sunk in yet. There were no more battles fight. And he could say that with confidence thanks to the datastick Finn had brought back. The First Order had been hurting a lot more than they expected. The contingent that showed up today had been everyone left.

He let his mind drift to what was next as he changed into his soft sleep clothes and got into bed. They may have won the war, but their work was far from over. Someone had to restart the government, come up with a new, more useful system, create a real military-

But he was getting ahead of himself. First, they needed to figure out what to do with all these stormtroopers.

They were still analyzing the data, but it looked like they had all the stormtrooper statistics dating back to Brendol Hux’s inception of the program. Names, dates, home planets, they had it all. Now they could begin to make things right.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew Rey was nestling on to his chest, wet hair soaking through his thin shirt.

“Morning, sunshine,” she said, smiling up at him when she realized he was awake.

“Hey, that’s my line.” Burying his nose in her hair, he kissed the side of her head. “Better?”

“Much.” She settled back onto his chest, her body still warm from the ‘fresher. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

He was already drifting back off. “Glad you did.”

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I know.” The sharp elbow came out of nowhere, embedding itself into his gut with a swiftness he wouldn’t have thought possible. He coughed out a laugh, flipping Rey onto her back in retaliation. Her legs automatically opened, giving him room to position himself over her. “I mean, I love you, too.” Leaning down, he caught her lips in his own, sighing when Rey deepened the kiss.

He broke the kiss with a groan. “I should let you sleep.”

“Or,” she said, a spark in her eyes he instantly recognized. Her hand traveled down to the waistband of his pants. “We could finish what we started this morning.”

A better man would have declined the offer, let her sleep like the doctor ordered.

Lucky for him, Poe was not a better man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I told you there would be a happy ending!


	23. Epilogue (Day One Thousand, Nine Hundred and Four)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years later, the galaxy gathers to dedicate the new senatorial complex.

Rey stood in front of the Force tree, Hope’s hand in her own. They were taking a quiet moment before the celebrations began, sending a silent prayer to those who were one with the Force.

It had been a long road here, filled with missteps and bad decisions and more loss than Rey could count. But there had also been unexpected joy along the way, the happy accident of her and Poe’s second child, watching Paige and Hope grow into friends, standing in front of this very tree and pledging her life to Poe in front of all their friends and family.

There were still some days she struggled to believe it, that this was her life now. She’d spent 19 years on Jakku looking back, and the second she looked forward, she’d found her family. So maybe it wasn’t the same family she’d been dreaming about, but this one was better. They chose her.

Footsteps echoed through the clearing and she turned to see Poe walking toward her with little Han in his arms. He was as strong and handsome as ever, his hair more salt than pepper now, a distinguished look for the leader of their Republic. He reached out to her as he got closer, extending his hand in a way that made her senses prickle.

It was the vision, the one the Force had shown them repeatedly throughout the years. She’d seen it so many times, it had lost meaning, another strange quirk of the Force for her to ignore. Yet here they were, alive and whole and fulfilling a prophecy years in the making. She looked over at Poe, seeing all of her thoughts mirrored on his face as he made the same realization.

“Daddy, are you going to talk to the whole galaxy today?” asked Hope in her high, clear voice.

Rey hugged Hope to her body, her first baby. Every time she spoke, Rey was continually amazed by how smart and sweet and _good_ their little girl was, a beacon of light and hope, true to her name.

Poe was in fact going to give a speech to dedicate the new senatorial complex, broadcast to the entire Republic, for the third anniversary of the Final Battle. That’s what they called it “The Final Battle,” like they’d woken up that morning and, on a whim, decided to end the war.

It was crazy how history remembered things. Reading all those stories about the First Galactic War, she had always been in awe of the bravery and sacrifice of the rebels, the planning it must have taken to bring down an entire empire. Then she’d seen the first account of the Second Galactic War.

Oh, how time forgot. It read like a story, a lot more fiction than fact, the author making them sound a lot more heroic (and organized) than they actually were. History didn’t care about the things that didn’t fit the narrative - Finn and Rose’s doomed trip to Canto Bight, Rey teaming up with Kylo Ren to fight Snoke’s guards, Poe’s ill-fated mutiny. No, history dealt only in victories and headlines. The Destruction of Starkiller. The Holdo Maneuver. The Miraculous Escape from Crait. The Daring Rescue of Force-sensitive Children on Cadezia. The Devastating Loss of General Leia Organa. The Final Battle Over Yavin 4.

And somehow, she was a part of it all.

It was a little strange being a living legend. The way people stopped to whisper in the market when she walked by. Or the strange hush that fell over a room of Senators when she entered. For a woman who spent her formative years living alone in a tin can in the middle of the desert, it could be a little much. She finally understood what Leia had been trying to tell her that first day on Yavin. All you can do is live your life, and history will decide the rest.

Poe knelt down to Hope’s level, letting Han down to run around the clearing on his chubby little legs. He made a beeline for the tree, slapping his palm against the trunk and closing his eyes like he’d seen her do a thousand times. He reminded Rey so much of his namesake it was scary - a little grumpy, always barreling headfirst into trouble, and absolutely no sign of being able to use the Force.

“Yup,” he said, a small smile playing across his lips. “I’m going to talk about sacrifice and peace.” Hope nodded at him, understanding how serious the day was.

Poe, true to his word, had wanted nothing to do with the military at the end of the war. He had spent his entire adult life enlisted, and he was more than ready to set up his house on Yavin 4 and start life as a civilian. But there was always work to do, and the lingering threat that, once again, all of their sacrifice would be for nothing if they weren’t careful.

They had all spent those early days after the war working tirelessly to reinstate a government, Poe taking on a leadership role thanks to his years of tutelage under Leia Organa. It was a thin line they were straddling, somewhere between the totalitarianism of the Empire and First Order and the ineffectiveness of the Republics, both old and new. And Poe, despite all his protests to the contrary, shined through it all. When the time came to select their new leader, it came as no surprise that Poe was chosen by a unanimous vote, his one condition being that he could fly in the Yavin 4 defense force every so often.

(The new recruits always got a kick out of that. Poe kriffing Dameron, ace pilot, Rebellion General, and First Senator, coming up to run patrols with them. It was like Life Day and Remembrance Day all rolled into one.)

Rey, having spent most of the back end of the war as Poe’s second in command, transitioned to the head of the Republic’s armed forces. Between her insights into the Force and an encyclopedic knowledge of Old and New Republic military tactics, there was no doubt that she was the best woman for the job. And as much as she missed working with Poe, she was glad there were no longer two General Damerons on base.

BB-8 rolled into the clearing to remind Poe that he was due on stage in twenty minutes, catching Han’s attention. He walked over to the astromech, placing a kiss on its dome. BeeBee cooed at the boy, still fascinated by the little people Poe and Rey made in their spare time.

Rey reached down and picked up Han, kissing his chestnut curls as he buried his face into her neck.

As they walked toward the Great Temple, Rey kept an eye out for any signs of Luke or Leia. They tended to show up on the more auspicious occasions (scaring the shit out of Poe when he saw one or both of them out of the corner of his eye). Out of habit, she always kept an eye out for one more, though she had only ever shown herself the once.

Sometimes Rey wondered if she had imagined Shara Bey that day in the clearing. No one else had seen her, and Rey had been exhausted and in pain and ready to die. Maybe Shara was just a fever dream created by her tired brain to ease her passage into the Force. Poe was sure she had lost her mind when she started babbling about his mother before she passed out.

Rey scoured every Jedi text she could get her hands on afterwards, trying to figure out how a non-Force user could appear as a ghost. There was nothing to go on but an obscure bit of text, but it had to be something to do with Shara’s connection to the tree. It didn’t hurt that Rey was also wearing her ring. Though that didn’t explain why she had never seen her since.

But sometimes, when Rey sat under the tree with Han or Hope and the sun was shining and the wind blew just right, she swore she could feel Shara there, her warm glow permeating the clearing, always just out of sight.

Poe paused at the edge of the jungle, where a small break in the trees hinted at a hidden path. Poe looked toward Rey with an eyebrow raised, a silent question. She gave a nod, handing Han over to Poe’s waiting arms.

Poe leaned over, his lips barely touching Rey’s before Hope was weaseling her way between them.

“Gross,” she said, trying to push them apart.

“Gross?” Rey laughed, bending down to pepper the little girl’s face with kisses. “I’ll give you gross.”

Hope giggled, squirming out of Rey’s reach. 

“Mama, aren’t you coming?” Hope turned back, her face scrunched in confusion.

Rey reached out to fix the bow in her hair. “I’ll be right behind you, love. Go save me a seat by Aunt Rose.”

She waited until they were out of sight to dip into the trees.

The path was overgrown, Rey being one of the few people on Yavin 4 who even knew where it led. Of those who knew, she was the only one who ever traveled it. Stopping in front of the small stone marked Ben Solo, she looked down at what was left of the mighty Skywalker bloodline.

Maybe it was the good she sensed in him all those years ago, or maybe it was the split second she’d thought he would join her, but every so often she’d feel the pull to this spot. She shouldn’t feel bad, in fact she shouldn’t feel anything at all, not when he showed no remorse for his actions in this life. But she hadn’t touched a lightsaber since that night.

Not that she regretted ending him - it had to be done, she knew that - but she had lost something in the process. That’s why she’d given over the care of padawans to Cora and her wife. They were better equipped to teach the young ones. Rey was no Jedi.

Luke had tried to change her mind more than once, but she stayed resolute. Leia had been given the option to become a Jedi and turned it down for a different life, one that Rey wanted an opportunity to have herself. Hope would have the same choice, much further down the line, but Rey hoped the choice would be easier for her daughter than it had been for her.

The need to be there passed, as it always did. Without so much as a word, she turned and left the little clearing. The texts had nothing useful for this either, but Rey guessed it was one final by-product of their bond. She’d be back, and maybe once she found the words to bring some closure to this saga, she’d be left in peace. Until then, she’d follow the pull when it called.

Treading carefully through the undergrowth, she found herself back in the sunlight at the edge of the old temples. Rey looked around, noting how much the jungle moon had changed since they first arrived here, just three days after the Battle of Crait.

The Great Temple had been restored to its original grandeur, rebuilt as a symbol of hope for the galaxy after being the place for not one, but two major victories in two separate galactic wars. The brand new senatorial complex sat at the edge of it, a gleaming network of buildings that looked out of place next to the rough-hewn pyramids. But the galaxy had chosen Yavin 4 as the seat of government in another unanimous vote by the Senate, and here they were.

Making her way to the courtyard where the senatorial staff were finishing setting up for the ceremony, she found Poe chatting with Rose and Finn while Paige, Hope, and Han ran around dirtying their clothes. Everyone turned as Rey approached.

“There you are, we were getting worried,” said Rose, her hand going to her protruding belly. She looked like she was ready to pop.

“Here I am.” Rey reached out to touch her friend’s stomach, giving a little hello to her future nephew. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, as good as can be expected in this heat. I swear I was not this big last time.”

Rey laughed. She didn’t miss that feeling, the discomfort of the last few weeks before Han had been born. Though she and Poe had been talking about having one more…

Rose grabbed her arm, derailing the train of thought. “C’mon, I think this pregnant lady has earned her seat.”

Rey followed as Rose led the way toward the reserved seats up front, the men and kids trailing behind.

Rose had surprised them all by immediately leaving the military after the war for the private sector. Her ship modifications had revolutionized more than one industry in the galaxy and made her a ton of credits in the process. She and Finn also called Yavin 4 home, though Finn’s work with the Galactic Restoration Initiative kept him away from the moon more often than not. It was hard but necessary work to reconnect families and distribute aid after the First Order ravaged the galaxy.

Speaking of Finn, he wrapped her in a side hug, the slight hitch in his gait the only lingering sign of his injuries back on Arkanis. “Hey, peanut.”

“Hey, peanut. How’s the rest of the galaxy?”

Finn was quiet a second, thinking through his answer. “On the whole, good. Still have a lot of work to do, though.”

“Don’t we always? And your grandmother?”

Finn’s smile softened at the mention of Deena. “She’s good. I think she’s gonna come visit once the baby’s born.”

He’d found her a year after the First Order fell, his mother’s mother and his last remaining family. Turns out, Finn’s homeworld had been used in the initial tests for Starkiller, a planet so remote it didn’t even warrant a name (according to the former New Republic). While the children had been taken for stormtroopers, what few adults survived had been sent to First Order prison camps. By some stroke of luck, Deena had escaped, spending her days hiding in the Outer Rim.

She had welcomed Finn with open arms, the lost grandson returned home. In her home, she had an old holo of Finn (born Kieran) and his parents, the resemblance apparent even on the crinkled flimsi photo. Now, he worked to reunite other families devastated by the First Order’s short reign.

Though it hadn’t been that short, not for the far sectors of the galaxy the New Republic had ignored. The First Order had been slowly taking over for at least two decades, all while the Senate turned a blind eye. It was that indifference that Poe had vowed to protect against as their leader.

Speaking of Poe, he stopped by for one final kiss before heading backstage to ready his speech. Three years later and his hands still shook when he spoke like this. It was endearing. Her hot shot, “I can fly anything” husband nervous to make a speech.

Rey sat down next to Rose, Hope crawling in to her lap. Noticing that his sister got the prime spot, Han ran over, climbing onto the chair next to them and launching himself onto Hope’s lap. A quick tussle broke out as both kids fought for the limited real estate.

“That’s enough,” she said, trying to separate them while still making sure no one cracked a skull. “We’re in front of the whole Senate for kriff’s sake.”

Hope’s eyes went wide. “Mama, you said a bad word.”

Well, shit. She had Rey there. Rose chuckled next to her.

“Laugh it up. This is what you have to look forward to.”

Thank gods Kes chose that moment to make an appearance. “Hey guys.”

“Buelo!” shouted Han, abandoning Rey’s lap for Kes’s.

“Careful, mi nieto,” he said as Han settled in. He looked toward Rey. “How's he doing? Nervous?”

“He’s been wearing a hole in the floor all morning.”

Kes chuckled. “You think he’d be better at this by now.”

Rey’s answer was cut off when Threepio took the stage. Somehow, the aging protocol droid had fallen under their care after the war, Poe’s golden shadow. “Pardon me, but I am delighted to introduce your First Senator, the Honorable Poe Dameron.”

Thunderous applause coupled with the whir of the camera droids, Poe’s face projected on giant screens erected for the occasion. People all over the galaxy sat with bated breath, waiting to hear her husband speak.

Only those closest to him would notice the tells - the subtle tremor in his normally steady hands, the way he shifted from one foot to the other, the set of his brow - that betrayed how nervous he really was.

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath (two more tells). “Three years. It’s been three years since we stood on this spot and declared victory over the First Order. From the ashes of the New Republic, we rose, creating an unprecedented time of peace and unity.

“Today, as we gather in this time of peace to dedicate our new senatorial complex, it’s all too easy to forget the struggle of the Second Galactic War. The Hosnian Cataclysm, the destruction of Starkiller Base, the lives across the galaxy we lost to the tyranny of the First Order, it all seems like a distant memory in this new era. But I urge you to remain vigilant. We must not allow ourselves to become complacent like our predecessors, allowing greater evil to sow seeds of dissent and take root.

“We hope that by bringing the Galactic Capital to Outer Rim, and not one of the traditional Core Worlds, we can shine a light on the oft-forgotten reaches of space, the places that often go unnoticed by the galaxy at large. Each and every world will have a voice here, an ability to bring about the change needed for the galaxy to remain at peace.

“Without further ado, I present to you the Leia Organa Senatorial Complex.”

There was a burst of applause as the tarp was pulled from the statue just behind Poe.

Standing over six meters tall, the stone Leia looked toward the stars, hands folded in front of her, a placid smile on her face. It was the princess they chose for the statue - double buns and flowy dress - and not the battle-worn general Rey had known. Poe had fought long and hard for that version of Leia, a little older, a little more substantial, but the majority had spoken. Rey swore she could hear Leia’s cackle as the statue glimmered in the sun. _They don’t actually want me, they just want ¾ of me._

Poe stepped aside as the next speaker came forward, the first in a long line of people to address the galaxy. Rey found her attention wandering as the speeches wore on, drifting towards her to-do list and whether she remembered to turn off the lights before leaving that morning.

Finally, the last speaker wrapped up, some fancy Senator from a Core world, and the crowd applauded politely as she left the stage. A few closing remarks from Poe and the ceremony was over.

He was already off the stage, his relief palpable as he shook hands and greeted dignitaries, ready for the party to begin.

“I think that’s my cue,” she said, turning to Kes. “You ok with these monsters?” Both kids were squirming, itching to make a run for the little playground on the edge of the complex.

“Of course, mija. But I can’t guarantee they’re going to look presentable by the time they take holos.”

Rey laughed, letting Hope down from her lap. “I doubt any of us could make that guarantee.”

She stood, straightening her dress uniform before making her way over to where Poe was deep in conversation with the Senator from Jakku.

“... eradicating the junk bosses- oh, General Dameron, so nice to see you.”

“And you too, Senator Driggs.” Rey slapped a smile on her face, accepting his handshake. It wasn’t that she disliked the Senator - on the contrary, he was one of the few decent people she’d ever met from Jakku - it was more that she hated anything having to do with her former planet. But from what she heard through Poe, he was doing wonders for the former scavengers like Rey.

“Now, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Going through some old records, we may have found something regarding your parents. If you’re interested.”

The breath left her lungs in a rush. Sensing her distress, Poe reached for her hand, twining his fingers with hers.

The words rushed out of her mouth. “They were junkers. They sold me.”

She had come to terms with it years ago, the fact that she was nobody in the grand scheme of things, someone who stumbled into a power much greater than herself. But despite that, she’d made a name for herself in the galaxy based on her merits and abilities. She hadn’t thought of the people who sold her for years. Her life was so much bigger than that now.

“That may not be the entire story.” Senator Driggs shifted, picking up on her discomfort. “I’m sorry, this may have not been the right place to drop that on you. But if you’d like to come in and chat, feel free to stop by. I’ll be on planet for the entire session.” With a slight bow, he walked away.

Poe turned to her. “Shit, I’m sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have called you over here-”

“It’s fine. Really.” It was odd, but that was the truth. She _was_ fine. For the first time in her life, she didn’t care who her parents were. They left her, for good reasons or bad, with a junk boss who owned her until she was 19. She didn’t need parents; she’d already found her family.

And they were right here. Kes pushing Han and Hope on the swings. Paige asleep on Finn’s lap while Rose rested her feet. And Poe, his hand steady in hers, always by her side.

“Are you sure? Cause we can get out of here.” His face was so concerned, she couldn’t help but lean over place a soft kiss on his lips.

“I’m sure.”

They continued to make their way through the crowd, greeting visiting representatives and friends alike. By some miracle, the kids were not covered head to toe in mud when the photographer called them over, the Dameron family posing in front of the newly dedicated statue.

The sun was just starting to set when the party broke up. Han was asleep on Poe’s shoulder, Hope and Paige were both crying, though nobody could figure out why, and Rose looked ready to fall asleep as Rey called it.

“Ok, I think we’re done here. Come on, Hope. Time to go.” She picked up the little girl, Hope burying her face in Rey’s shoulder. She waved to Rose and Finn, busy dealing with their own screaming child. “Night, guys.”

The walk back to the house was quiet, punctuated only by Hope’s sniffles until she finally fell asleep five feet in front of their door.

“I vote we don’t wake them for baths,” whispered Poe as they headed for the stairs.

“Seconded,” answered Rey, already a little out of breath from the trip upstairs. Hope was getting too big for her to carry like this.

By the time they got the kids in PJs and into bed (Han waking up and insisting on three bedtime stories and two glasses of water), Rey was exhausted, dropping on to their bed fully clothed. A second later, Poe dropped next to her.

“How long do we have?” she asked him, too tired to even roll over and cuddle.

Poe reached across the bed for her hand. “Two glasses of water? No more than 10 minutes.”

Rey drew out her groan. “Didn’t you promise me a quiet life after the war? What happened to that?”

“Kids happened.” He rolled over to her, snuggling against her side. “And I never promised you any sleep.”

Rey had to laugh at that. “You got me there.” She nudged him. “We should change before we fall asleep in our clothes. Again.”

Now, it was Poe’s turn to groan, but they both dragged themselves out of bed, anyway. Within five minutes, Rey was diving back under the sheets, starting to doze before Poe joined her.

“Hey, Sunshine? You awake?” He pulled her flush with his chest.

Though she wasn’t a second ago, she was now. “Yes.”

“Are you going to talk to Driggs about what he found? About your family?” The clarification was unnecessary, she knew exactly what he was talking about.

Her eyes popped open with a sigh. If she was being honest, she’d already forgotten about the Senator and his offer. “No.” His astonishment hit her like a wave. Of course, he wouldn’t understand. And why would he? _His_ parents had come back for him, had loved him unconditionally. How could she explain this to someone like him?

“I already found my family.” She placed a soft kiss on his lips, a flame igniting between them despite the late hour and how long the day had been. It was Rey who deepened the kiss, hands traveling up his back.

The moment was cut short by the sound of a small voice at the door. “Mama? We heard a noise.”

Poe chuckled, his breath hot on her lips.

She turned and sure enough, both kids were standing in the doorway, Han dragging his favorite blanket. Rey lifted the covers. “Come here.”

Both kids ran and dove into the bed, burrowing between Poe and Rey with sharp little knees and elbows. Once the kids settled (and were no longer kicking each other), Rey reached over, finding Poe’s hand among the pile of bodies.

If this was peace, she’d certainly take it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who read this over the last 10 or so months (and anyone who continues to read it) and who stuck with me through the rough patches and the long breaks between chapters. This was the first thing I'd ever written and it was certainly a learning experience. So thanks for bearing with me! I hope the ending was as satisfying to read as it was to write.

**Author's Note:**

> Rather than sitting around complaining about the lack of Damerey fiction (I'm pretty sure I've blown through most of what's available over the past few months), I finally decided to do something about it. I hope you enjoy my contribution to this ship half as much as I've enjoyed writing it.


End file.
